The Daily Life of a Depressed Salted Fish Chapter 1

In the deep autumn, torrential rain poured down.

Inside Guanjing City, tall walls and the grand palace were shrouded in a misty haze.

In the courtyard, a slender potted bamboo swayed precariously in the downpour, with beautiful green leaves falling softly. It seemed as though if the wind didn’t break it, the rain would soon strip it bare.

Under the wide eaves sat a man with loosely tied black hair and a handsome face. Usually someone who cherished plants, he looked out at the rain with a trace of pity in his eyes. “Bring it inside; don’t let it get ruined,” he said softly.

No one moved.

The man glanced to his side.

A young man dressed in a pale gold robe lounged lazily on a soft couch. His long hair cascaded over his chest like silk, and he stared idly at the bamboo struggling in the storm, as if appreciating its fragile struggle, or perhaps indifferent to its plight.

“Your Majesty,” the man spoke, but the young man remained calm and unhurried, not even sparing him a glance. Chen Ziyan paused briefly, then reached out to take a grape from the small table nearby and placed it in his mouth, saying, “This pot of Rong bamboo is quite rare. It hasn’t fully grown yet, and it would be a pity if it were damaged.”

The purple grapes were juicy, and the burst of sweetness enveloped his taste buds. Jiang Wu, being fed so comfortably, finally nodded in agreement.

Two eunuchs, wearing high hats, quickly discerned the emperor’s intention and hurried to move the bamboo under the eaves.

The rain was heavy, and the eunuchs were soon soaked. Feeling guilty for making them suffer, Chen Ziyan looked at Jiang Wu again. “Their clothes are wet,” he remarked.

Jiang Wu said nothing, and the others remained still. The eunuchs’ clothes clung to their bodies, and a puddle of water soon formed at their feet.

Chen Ziyan turned to Jiang Wu but stopped when he saw the emperor spit out the grape skin, which landed on his pale lips.

Jiang Wu glanced at him, and after a moment’s pause, Chen Ziyan reached out and caught the skin. “Let them change into dry clothes,” he suggested.

Jiang Wu took another grape from Chen Ziyan’s hand and said offhandedly, “You should thank Chen Shilang.”

The two eunuchs gratefully bowed. “Thank you, Your Majesty, and thank you, Lord Chen.”

While the eunuchs were genuinely grateful, Chen Ziyan’s face only showed discomfort.

He silently lowered his gaze and carefully peeled another grape, perhaps to avoid catching the emperor’s spit with his hands.

Jiang Wu, however, was perfectly content to remain a lazy “salted fish,” enjoying Chen Ziyan’s service.

He could understand Chen Ziyan’s feelings to some extent. As the son of the prime minister, with scholarly achievements and a high-ranking position as a junior minister in the Ministry of Revenue, Chen Ziyan was a true prodigy and that wouldn’t be an exaggeration.

Now, forced to serve in the deep palace, the hands that once allocated funds, built bridges, and supported the people were reduced to peeling grapes for a despised emperor and catching his discarded skins.

A waste of talent. No wonder Chen Ziyan couldn’t accept it. Even the eunuchs in the palace and the civil and military officials would find it disgraceful.

Jiang Wu, the perpetrator of this injustice, could only sympathize.

But there was nothing he could do. After all, the historical Jiang Wu was a foolish emperor, and he had accidentally taken over his body.

In fact, Jiang Wu didn’t even have a name initially. It wasn’t until he ended up in this body that he adopted the name for convenience.

He had once been a carefree wandering soul, unbound by flesh and blood, able to move freely, pass through walls, and overlook the living. Apart from being unable to speak or touch anything, Jiang Wu found this life perfectly fine. He had no desire to talk to people and wasn’t curious about the world. Being a mere observer of life was enough to relieve the monotony of his ghostly existence.

At the very least, he could quietly lie beside a few-year-old child at night, listening to their parents tell bedtime stories, or join a crowd during a group meal, happily blending in to blow out the birthday candles together. He could stick to someone’s back, becoming whoever he wanted, crying when they cried, laughing when they laughed, playing the role of an invisible actor in a play that only he knew.

When he got tired of the role, he could simply wave his sleeve and move on to the next one without a trace of regret.

A 5D panoramic life experience—play whichever role you want, follow whatever character arc you choose. Who needs their own bicycle with all this?

But for all his acting, Jiang Wu never actually considered living as a human until he was accidentally dragged into this dynasty, unexpectedly becoming the infamous emperor Jiang Wu, who was beheaded in history.

In that moment, Jiang Wu suddenly realized:

… Being a human is as terrible as he imagined!

He could no longer freely soar through the skies or slip through walls and windows. Even just supporting his own body to walk felt unbearably heavy.

Jiang Wu didn’t want to live at all. There was nothing in this world he wanted to touch or experience firsthand. He had no feelings for this world and no expectations for it.

On the first day he transmigrate over, after walking just a few steps and collapsing on the ground, Jiang Wu thought of suicide.

As soon as the knife cut through the skin on his neck, he was startled by the eunuch who brought him water.

The attendant officer hurriedly summoned the imperial physician, and they fussed over him all night, repeatedly probing him about why he did it. Jiang Wu could only say that he was possessed by some evil spirit and that there might be something unclean in the palace.

He attempted to have the mystics expel him from Jiang Wu’s body.

Of course, it failed.

But slitting his throat was very painful—a pain he never felt as a wandering spirit. Maybe it was because he had no memory of pain, but even a minor wound felt excruciating to him, and he didn’t dare to harm himself again.

Taking advantage of his injury, he laid in bed and thought things over for a few days.

In any case, there’s no way he would properly be an emperor. Though everyone says being an emperor is good, Jiang Wu, having seen the full range of human experiences, knew that the higher the status, the greater the responsibility.

… Not to mention that this original body was destined to be beheaded as a tyrant.

Jiang Wu didn’t believe he could change that. Does he have the power to alter history?

According to the historical timeline, the one who eventually killed Jiang Wu and overthrew the tyrant was the current shizi of King Dingnan, Yin Wuzhi. He is highly regarded in history as a diligent ruler, wise and powerful, who ushered in a golden age and left an everlasting legacy.

Even after killing Jiang Wu, Yin Wuzhi didn’t deliberately change the dynasty but continued to use the name “Xia” for the kingdom. Historians later distinguished between the pre-Xia and post-Xia periods to mark his reign.

The post-Xia dynasty became a brilliant and unparalleled era in history, something everyone admired, and Yin Wuzhi’s contributions were indispensable.

Jiang Wu suddenly felt a bit irresponsible. If he were to successfully commit suicide, someone else from the Jiang family would ascend the throne. Without the tyrant to kill, Yin Wuzhi might not follow the destined path, and history would lose a great emperor and a miraculous golden age.

But Jiang Wu hadn’t studied what heinous acts the tyrant committed, nor did he know how to replicate them to ensure Yin Wuzhi follows through to the end.

Moreover… since he was destined to be killed, he didn’t want to bother with serious matters. But with so many memorials piling up on his desk, Jiang Wu worried that if something wasn’t resolved in time, it could inadvertently cause harm.

After much thought, he came up with a good plan. Although he didn’t know how to replicate the tyrant’s actions, he knew how to provoke a man with dignity.

Isn’t it just courting death? How hard can that be?

He decided to summon Yin Wuzhi to the palace, humiliate him, torture him, and exploit him. This way, while playing the tyrant, he could also handle urgent state affairs, ensuring they were addressed in a timely manner, all while training Yin Wuzhi for his future role as emperor and stoking his hatred.

Maybe one day he would kill him in his sleep.

It’s like killing three birds with one stone!

But putting this plan into action wasn’t as easy as he thought. When he summoned Yin Wuzhi to the palace to serve him, the imperial decree was sent out, and the whole court found it absurd. The Yin family was furious and outright refused to comply.

Jiang Wu was a bit angry, but he couldn’t actually start a massacre and kill the entire King Dingnan family, so he racked his brain for another way.

Chen Ziyan’s father was the current prime minister, and Prime Minister Chen had a close relationship with King Dingnan. He was also Yin Wuzhi’s most respected teacher, so naturally, Yin Wuzhi and Chen Ziyan were like brothers.

Jiang Wu decided to target Chen Ziyan, pretending to have business with him. When he arrived, Jiang Wu had him immediately confined. The next day, Jiang Wu sent a large amount of gold and jewels to the Chen family, saying: “Chen Shilang served well in bed; this is the emperor’s reward.”

After his public attempt to summon Yin Wuzhi to the palace was refused, Jiang Wu was certain the Chen family understood what this meant.

Yin Wuzhi was a man of honor and loyalty; there’s no way he’d let a brother suffer in his place.

Jiang Wu was convinced that if not today, then tomorrow, Yin Wuzhi would definitely come to him.

Just as this thought settled, his personal attendant announced from behind him, “Your Majesty, the shizi of King Dingnan requests an audience.”

Chen Ziyan glanced to his side, noticing the person next to him remained expressionless, though the sudden relaxation of his facial muscles still revealed a hint of joy.

Ah Zhi has indeed come.

He set down the grapes in his hand, took the handkerchief offered by a maid to wipe his hands, and then stood up.

Yin Wuzhi, dressed in the crimson robes of a shizi, soon appeared before them.

Chen Ziyan’s eyes flickered slightly.

Of course, he knew Jiang Wu’s true target had always been Yin Wuzhi. Summoning him to the palace was just a ruse to force Yin Wuzhi to appear. After all, even those who didn’t favor men had to admit that Yin Wuzhi, renowned throughout the capital for his unparalleled beauty, truly had the looks of an immortal.

The two men’s gazes met briefly and then parted.

Both of them were noble sons from prestigious families, holding titles and with the backing of their families. Neither had ever imagined they would one day be reduced to serving someone with their looks, especially meeting under such awkward circumstances.

Yin Wuzhi bowed and greeted, “Your subject pays respects to Your Majesty.”

Despite the situation, he maintained proper etiquette. Jiang Wu said, “Minister Yin, you may rise and come closer so I can take a look at you.”

His tone was as frivolous as a lecherous man teasing a young woman.

Yin Wuzhi lowered his long eyelashes to hide the darkness in his eyes and said, “Prime Minister Chen has fallen ill and is bedridden. I hope Your Majesty will allow Minister Chen to return home to visit him.”

It was almost as if he was pointing at Jiang Wu’s nose, saying, “You foolish emperor, now that you’ve achieved your goal, isn’t it time to release my good friend?”

But Jiang Wu didn’t release him immediately. Instead, he turned around and, deliberately in front of Yin Wuzhi, teased his friend: “Beloved Minister Chen, can you bear to leave me?”

Chen Ziyan’s brow furrowed slightly. Ah Zhi had obviously come to exchange himself for Chen Ziyan’s freedom, but if he left now, wouldn’t it mean leaving Ah Zhi in the fire?

But to share the burden of serving someone with their looks was something he couldn’t bring himself to do.