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The Daily Life of a Depressed Salted Fish Chapter 2

With just a moment of hesitation, the foolish emperor grabbed his hand.

Jiang Wu smiled in satisfaction, “Beloved Minister Chen truly can’t bear to leave me.”

Chen Ziyan’s face heated up, feeling deeply humiliated, and he quickly pulled his hand back, retorting, “I do not.”

Jiang Wu looked at him.

Chen Ziyan avoided his gaze and made up his mind. A man cannot be so indecisive. Jiang Wu’s target is Ah Zhi; staying here is useless. It would be better to leave first and work with the Yin family to rescue Ah Zhi from the emperor’s clutches.

He took two steps back and said in a deep voice, “My father is bedridden. I wish to return home to visit him and hope Your Majesty will grant permission.”

With the conversation reaching this point, Jiang Wu couldn’t force him to stay. He worried that if he was too forceful, Yin Wuzhi, who had finally entered the palace, might escape again.

“Alright,” he said, reluctantly nodding and patting Chen Ziyan on the lower back, adding, “I’ll wait for you to return.”

This single gesture made the two men in the room freeze.

It couldn’t have been more awkward. Chen Ziyan never imagined he would be so blatantly taken advantage of in front of his friend. His face turned bright red, and he looked at Jiang Wu as if he wanted to devour him.

Yin Wuzhi, for his part, hadn’t expected to see his friend humiliated like this. His gaze turned cold, like a venomous snake, as if he would kill Jiang Wu in the next moment.

Jiang Wu, sensing the murderous intent, remained calm and even asked Chen Ziyan, “Minister Chen, have you changed your mind about leaving?”

Chen Ziyan, without even bowing, stormed out of the Taiji Hall with a dark expression.

He walked quickly to the palace gates, then stopped and looked down at the hand that the emperor had touched, feeling an absurd lingering sensation.

“Jiang Wu…” he muttered through clenched teeth, his eyes unconsciously reddening.

Once Chen Ziyan left, Jiang Wu turned his gaze to Yin Wuzhi and said warmly, “Come closer to me.”

After what had just happened, Yin Wuzhi was repulsed. “Your Majesty has summoned me to the palace multiple times. What do you intend?”

“I said, come closer,” Jiang Wu’s voice was lazy, but it carried a hidden threat that made the nearby servants shiver, sensing the emperor’s underlying fury.

Yin Wuzhi’s fingers tightened.

Jiang Wu was, after all, the emperor. Despite his improper behavior and poor character, his status was still supreme.

In the end, Yin Wuzhi stepped forward and approached Jiang Wu.

Jiang Wu smiled slightly and reached out to touch Yin Wuzhi’s hand, but the latter moved his sleeve, hiding his hand behind his back.

He was tall, and standing close made him seem even taller, almost looking down on Jiang Wu, who sat on the soft couch.

Jiang Wu’s gaze shifted. From this angle, he could see the jade buckle Yin Wuzhi used to fasten his waist. The buckle was white, but not entirely; its edges were tinged with a pigeon-blood red, blending with the red belt of the noble robe, making it look quite distinctive.

The nineteen-year-old youth had a well-proportioned build and a slender waist, which looked exceptionally attractive.

Jiang Wu reached out to grab the jade buckle, but before he could exert any force, his wrist was caught by the other man.

“Please, Your Majesty, behave yourself.”

Yin Wuzhi’s grip was as strong as an iron clamp, and it was clear that Jiang Wu had crossed a line, and the force of the grip was steadily increasing, causing Jiang Wu to feel pain.

Instinctively, he tried to pull his arm back, but it wouldn’t budge.

He had to look up and remind Yin Wuzhi, “That hurts.”

Perhaps it was because this body was sensitive, or maybe it was because it was his first time being human and he wasn’t used to it, or perhaps it was a combination of both, but Jiang Wu genuinely felt pain.

His skin was pale, and now, due to the pain, he looked even paler, cold sweat beading on his forehead like pearls on white jade.

Yin Wuzhi reluctantly released him.

It was clear that he had intended to retaliate. Jiang Wu trembled slightly as he withdrew his arm, already bearing the purple marks from Yin Wuzhi’s fingers.

A wave of worry welled up inside him.

Although he understood that continuing to humiliate Yin Wuzhi would eventually lead to his own death, he had overlooked one thing: even someone like Yin Wuzhi would need time to mentally prepare before killing the emperor; he wouldn’t immediately resort to violence.

Jiang Wu wasn’t afraid of death, but he was afraid of pain. The way Yin Wuzhi retaliated, neither light nor heavy, was torture for him.

In the future, he would have to avoid provoking Yin Wuzhi into roughing him up. It would be best if he could make Yin Wuzhi fear him.

Jiang Wu looked at him unhappily and said, “You dare to hurt me.”

Yin Wuzhi didn’t evade responsibility and instead took two steps back, knelt down, and said, “Your subject has offended the imperial body and deserves to die. Please punish me, Your Majesty.”

His response was not surprising. Jiang Wu’s accusation played right into his hands. For Yin Wuzhi, even being imprisoned and tortured was preferable to being here, dressed in fine clothes and serving someone with his looks.

Jiang Wu was not about to let things go his way.

The place on his arm that had been pinched still ached when touched, so he placed his arm gently on the edge of the soft couch, and in a melancholic tone, said, “Kneel before me.”

Yin Wuzhi’s brow twitched.

Jiang Wu added, “If you disobey, I’ll have your clothes stripped off and lock you in a cage.”

Yin Wuzhi abruptly raised his eyes, sharp as an eagle’s, filled with a deadly glare.

Jiang Wu remained composed.

The authority of a higher rank is overwhelming, and he knew that Yin Wuzhi would eventually give in. After all, Jiang Wu was the emperor, and Yin Wuzhi represented the entire King Dingnan clan. Without absolute certainty, he wouldn’t easily tear things apart.

As expected, after a moment, Yin Wuzhi adopted the demeanor of a subject. He moved forward on his knees and knelt beside Jiang Wu.

The tall and long-legged shizi, once kneeling, was just a bit taller than the emperor lounging on the soft couch.

At this close distance, Yin Wuzhi’s strikingly handsome face became even more prominent, a true feast for the eyes.

With such a face, who could say that Jiang Wu wasn’t truly enamored with Yin Wuzhi’s body? Who could deny that he was a debauched emperor, lost in beauty and neglectful of state affairs?

As Jiang Wu admired his flawless features, he was tempted to reach out and touch him, but feared that the other might twist his arm again.

He hesitated, raising his fingers but pulling them back, then called out, “Qi Hanmiao.”

Qi Hanmiao was his personal eunuch. Upon hearing his summons, he immediately rushed in. “Your servant is here.”

“Go find a rope and tie his hands.”

This way, if he decided to take liberties again, Yin Wuzhi would have no choice but to endure it silently, doubling the humiliation—perfect.

Qi Hanmiao’s emotions were conflicted. Ever since this man ascended to the throne, he’d become harder to read, especially with his increasingly baffling actions recently. The previous emperor had gone to great lengths to balance the court, hoping that the Yin and Chen families would be at each other’s throats.

But now, the current emperor was using the Chen family shizi to threaten the Yin family shizi. How was this not pushing the Yin and Chen families to conspire in rebellion?

If he truly had feelings for the Yin family’s shizi, then publicly humiliating him in front of all these servants was no way to treat someone he valued.

But if it was merely lust, there were other beauties in the world, not just the shizi of the Yin family. Offending both the Yin and Chen families for this reason seemed irrational.

Qi Hanmiao couldn’t believe that the emperor would risk his life just for a fleeting moment of pleasure.

He retrieved the rope but hesitated, not wanting to offend the King Dingnan household. Standing beside Yin Wuzhi, he looked conflicted.

Yin Wuzhi, not wanting to make things difficult for him, extended his wrists willingly, indicating for Qi Hanmiao to proceed.

Qi Hanmiao was touched and whispered, “Forgive me.”

Just as the rope was about to be tied around Yin Wuzhi’s wrists, a sudden commotion erupted outside, followed by a loud announcement: “The Great Empress Dowager has arrived!”

Before anyone could react, a furious voice rang out, “Insolence!”

A woman with slightly graying hair stormed in, her gaze icy as she pointed at Qi Hanmiao. “Drag this disobedient servant out and have him beaten to death!”

Qi Hanmiao trembled, immediately dropping the rope and frantically kowtowing. “Great Empress Dowager, please spare me! Great Empress Dowager, please spare me!”

Jiang Wu hesitantly looked at her, searching his mind for their relationship. “Great… grandmother?”

No one around him objected, so he knew he had called her correctly.

The last time he had cut his throat, he only saw his biological mother. At that time, he heard that Empress Dowager Wen had gone to pray with the Great Empress Dowager. He glanced at the slightly younger woman accompanying the Great Empress Dowager, and figured she must be Empress Dowager Wen.

Jiang Wu only realized after arriving here that he had two mothers. One was his biological mother, who was just a consort before his ascension. After he became emperor, she rose to the rank of Empress Dowager due to her son’s status. The other was Great Empress Dowager Wen, the official wife of his father. She had no children of her own but was deeply favored by the Great Empress Dowager and had stayed in the palace, naturally becoming the Empress Dowager as well.

Empress Dowager Wen quickly stepped forward and personally helped Yin Wuzhi to his feet. When she looked back at Jiang Wu, her eyes were filled with reproach.

Jiang Wu mentally reviewed the relationship between Empress Dowager Wen and Yin Wuzhi.

She was from the Chang family of Qianzhou, the daughter of the military governor Chang Zhiru. Chang Zhiru had three daughters, two of whom were married into the palace, while the third married King Dingnan, Yin Zheng.

In other words, Empress Dowager Wen was Yin Wuzhi’s aunt.

Jiang Wu stopped Qi Hanmiao, who was still kowtowing, as the Great Empress Dowager approached with a stern expression. She had rushed back upon hearing that Jiang Wu had kept Chen Ziyan overnight and was forcing Yin Wuzhi to serve him in the palace. Now, she looked at him with clear displeasure, but her tone remained gentle. “Emperor, explain to me what is going on here?”

This was actually giving Jiang Wu a chance to make amends with Yin Wuzhi.

King Dingnan had achieved great military success, and Yin Wuzhi had followed his father into battle from a young age. At fourteen, he had slain three of Zhao’s fiercest generals, his remarkable achievements known far and wide.

Even without considering his mother’s influence in Qianzhou, the father and son held immense respect in the military.

The empire had just seen the end of turmoil three years ago, and the King Dingnan family had only enjoyed a brief period of peace before Jiang Wu summoned Yin Wuzhi to the palace and subjected him to such humiliation. This would not sit well with the Dingnan Army, nor would the people remain silent.

The emperor’s actions were a significant threat to the stability of the Great Xia Kingdom.

Reconciling Jiang Wu and Yin Wuzhi was a matter of great importance.

Jiang Wu understood this, but he wasn’t truly Jiang Wu. As a disillusioned wandering soul, he could tolerate being a lazy emperor, but the thought of actually governing made him prefer death.

He thought to himself that these people were talking big without understanding the burden. If given a choice, Jiang Wu would rather become a concubine in the harem, enjoying the luxury of the palace while waiting peacefully for death.

Of course, being a commoner, a beggar, or even a dog would be better. At least then, if I wanted to die, I could just do it without worrying about affecting history. But here I am, even having to carefully plan my own death—it’s exhausting for a mere wandering spirit.

At this moment, he had to give his great grandmother a reason, but it couldn’t be too absurd, like saying he wanted to die. That would infringe on others’ interests and endanger the empire, which was absolutely unacceptable.

Jiang Wu said, “I like him.”

An eerie silence fell over the scene.

Although everyone in the world knew that Jiang Wu had summoned Yin Wuzhi to the palace with some improper intentions, hearing the emperor openly admit it was still shocking.

Empress Dowager Wen was the first to respond, “But Ah Zhi is a man?”

“So what if he’s a man? I want him.”

The Great Empress Dowager’s face turned slightly pale. “Absurd.”

These honest words didn’t cause Yin Wuzhi any reaction. He remained indifferent and even openly refused, “Your Majesty’s misplaced affection is appreciated, but I am, after all, a man. It’s inappropriate for me to stay in the palace. I respectfully ask Your Majesty to let me return to my residence.”

The implication was clear: even if you like me, I don’t like you. So please, stop being delusional and let’s go our separate ways.

The Daily Life of a Depressed Salted Fish

The Daily Life of a Depressed Salted Fish

Status: Ongoing
Jiang Wu is a wandering soul who has roamed the earth for a thousand years. One day, he finds himself in a body, reincarnated as a historically infamous and deposed emperor who was beheaded after a coup. Jiang Wu: Hmm... Being an emperor, a position he finds nightmarish, Jiang Wu, with his depressed outlook on life, just wants to hand over the throne and quickly return to his ghostly state. To speed up the rebellion of the Yin family, he summons the Yin family's eldest son to the palace to serve him. Immediately, the court is filled with outrage, and the Yin family almost storms the palace to skin him alive. That night, Jiang Wu lazily demands humiliating tasks from the fiercely glaring Yin Wuzhi: "Hold me, feed me, and lull me to sleep." Finished, he sends Yin Wuzhi off to review documents. The next day, the humiliation continues: "Hold me, push me on a swing, lift me up high." Finished, he sends Yin Wuzhi off to review documents. On the third day, the demands escalate: "Hold me, kiss me, and squat down to listen to what I have to say." Yin Wuzhi, staring at the lazy, slumped figure on the couch: .....  This is too much!!! If this Laozi doesn't kill you, I won't be called Yin Wuzhi!!! He furiously reviews documents.jpg Then, a year passes, two years pass, and despite Jiang Wu's daily humiliations and forcing Yin Wuzhi to review documents, the throne becomes more secure, the people grow richer, and the empire prospers year by year. Gloomy Critic: ...  According to my fate, I should have met my end by now, so why is everything still fine? Trying it out myself.jpg Yin Wuzhi... Yin Wuzhi is going mad.

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