The Daily Life of a Depressed Salted Fish Chapter 7

Yin Wuzhi calmly went to scoop another spoonful when Jiang Wu slowly opened his eyes.

“Hic.”

Qi Hanmiao’s finger twitched.

At the same time, Jiang Wu’s breathing grew heavier, his cheeks reddened, and tears started welling up in his eyes.

Qi Hanmiao shouted, “Someone! Quickly summon the Imperial Physician! Hurry!!”

Chaos erupted in the Taiji Hall. Qi Hanmiao poured water into Jiang Wu’s mouth, patted his back, and rubbed his chest. In the end, Yin Wuzhi got up, lifted Jiang Wu, and delivered a firm slap to his back.

Before the Imperial Physician arrived, Jiang Wu coughed up the whole pea.

After saving Jiang Wu’s throat, Yin Wuzhi gently placed him back in the chair, holding his shoulder and carefully leaning in to observe him.

Jiang Wu’s face was expressionless, showing no emotions despite the incident. However, with tears in his eyes and his red-rimmed eyes, he looked somewhat pitiful without realizing it.

Qi Hanmiao cautiously said, “Your Majesty…how about some more water?”

Jiang Wu didn’t want to speak.

His throat hurt terribly.

His body was the source of endless suffering, and being alive was its accomplice.

The half-eaten porridge from earlier had already cooled down. Maybe feeling guilty, Yin Wuzhi silently served him another bowl, saying, “How about some more?”

“In the porridge,” Jiang Wu’s voice was hoarse from the earlier choking, “why was there something else?”

Qi Hanmiao quickly glanced at Yin Wuzhi and said, “Maybe the imperial kitchen accidentally mixed it in while cooking…”

Jiang Wu didn’t believe it.

That green pea clearly wasn’t cooked with the porridge. It wasn’t soft, and it had a taste different from the porridge. He looked at the plate of stir-fried peas and meat on the table.

“This was an assassination attempt,” he said firmly. “Go, arrest them all and throw them into prison.”

Qi Hanmiao glanced at Yin Wuzhi: This servant can’t help you.

Yin Wuzhi wouldn’t let innocent people suffer for his actions. He immediately knelt down, admitting, “It was my idea.”

He regretted it for a moment—how could he act so impulsively in front of the Emperor? Perhaps it was because the incompetent ruler’s harmless appearance while being fed was too disarming?

But he hadn’t expected Jiang Wu to swallow without chewing.

If this had happened to anyone else, it might have been laughed off, but this was the Emperor, who wouldn’t tolerate such audacity.

Yin Wuzhi’s confession didn’t surprise Jiang Wu. He calmly said, “Drag him out and flog him twenty times.”

Qi Hanmiao exclaimed in horror, “Twenty lashes? The Shizi will probably lose a layer of skin.”

That was exactly what Jiang Wu wanted, to make him suffer. Yin Wuzhi had gone too far—pinching him last time, choking him this time. Jiang Wu was determined to make him afraid.

Jiang Wu ordered people to move him to the palace gate to watch the punishment.

When Imperial Physician Gu finally arrived, he found Yin Wuzhi kneeling outside the palace, with a eunuch holding a whip standing beside him.

Jiang Wu said, “Beat him.”

Imperial Physician Gu cautiously stepped forward to pay his respects. “Your Majesty, this minister greets you.”

“Mmm.” Jiang Wu nodded. 

Gu Yan asked, “Is Your Majesty feeling unwell?”

Qi Hanmiao thought the Emperor might have choked on a green pea, which seemed to harm his dignity. He instinctively looked at Jiang Wu’s expression, trying to determine whether to gloss over it or tell the truth.

Jiang Wu already said, “I was attacked, and my throat was injured.”

The sound of a whip cracked.

Imperial Physician Gu quickly inspected Jiang Wu’s neck but found nothing unusual. Jiang Wu pointed at Yin Wuzhi, who was being beaten, and said, “He dared to put green peas in my porridge.”

Imperial Physician Gu was shocked. “Was it poisoned?!”

As the whipping continued, Qi Hanmiao defended Yin Wuzhi, saying, “There was absolutely no such thing.”

Jiang Wu did not falsely accuse Yin Wuzhi: “The pea got stuck in my throat. It hurts.”

He opened his mouth to let Imperial Physician Gu inspect it. Imperial Physician Gu hesitated before leaning in, carefully examining his throat. “It’s swollen. I’ll prepare some cooling lozenges for Your Majesty to soothe it.”

“Mmm.”

Gu Yan quietly walked to the side to rummage through his medicine box, giving Qi Hanmiao a look that said: “Is this it?”

Qi Hanmiao sighed and shook his head.

He knew the Emperor was making a big deal out of it. While the Emperor was extremely lazy, this incident was indeed caused by Yin Wuzhi, so the punishment wasn’t entirely unwarranted.

After all, not everyone can tolerate the immaturity and impulsiveness of youth.

Thinking of this, Qi Hanmiao suddenly realized that perhaps the Emperor was using this as an excuse to teach the young shizi a lesson in conduct.

Imperial Physician Gu took out some cooling lozenges for Jiang Wu and also left him a small bottle, advising him to use them when in pain.

The cooling sensation soothed the Emperor’s sore throat. Jiang Wu thought gloomily: putting peas in someone’s porridge without their consent, no matter how others see it, is a grave offense to someone like me.

Of course, if it was merely about irritating him, Yin Wuzhi wouldn’t deserve a whipping. After all, just living is already exhausting, and someone like me doesn’t care to pursue these matters.

But history says Yin Wuzhi killed Jiang Wu, so I might as well take this opportunity to make everyone think I’m a tyrant who punishes people with whippings for getting peas stuck in my throat, so they’ll believe Yin Wuzhi was right to kill me.

After the whipping, Yin Wuzhi approached Jiang Wu and knelt again.

Jiang Wu asked him, “Are you resentful that I showed no leniency?”

“This minister dare not.”

Not that he wasn’t resentful, just that he dared not admit it.

Satisfied with his power over him, Jiang Wu said, “Since Imperial Physician Gu is here, remove your clothes and let him examine your injuries.”

“This minister is fine.”

Yin Wuzhi lowered his eyelashes, his expression and tone too cold for someone who had just endured twenty lashes.

After all, he had grown up on the battlefield. This level of injury probably didn’t mean much to him. Had he known, he would’ve ordered fifty lashes.

Jiang Wu said, “If you refuse to let him check, I’ll order another twenty lashes.”

“Your Majesty, as you wish.”

Why is this child so stubborn? Qi Hanmiao quickly said, “This servant will take the shizi to get his wounds treated right away.”

He reached out to help Yin Wuzhi, and Imperial Physician Gu also stepped forward. “Your Highness, your back is already bleeding. You should get it treated immediately.”

Yin Wuzhi pressed his pale lips together.

A sense of confusion flashed through Jiang Wu’s mind.

Human bodies feel pain as a way to avoid harm, but it seemed like Yin Wuzhi wanted to endure more.

Yin Wuzhi was finally persuaded to leave.

Jiang Wu was carried over to watch.

Just as Yin Wuzhi was about to undress, he saw Jiang Wu and immediately stopped. His gaze turned icy. “Does Your Majesty have any further orders?”

“I want to see you undress.”

Yin Wuzhi’s expression darkened.

Seeing this, Imperial Physician Gu had no choice but to placate the Emperor. “Your Majesty, the shizi’s injuries are severe. It might be unpleasant for Your Majesty to see—”

“Silence.” Jiang Wu spoke slowly. “Take off his clothes and let me see.”

“He’s not a girl.” Imperial Physician Gu couldn’t persuade the Emperor, so he tried to persuade Yin Wuzhi instead. “There’s no need to be bashful.”

Yin Wuzhi: “…”

Jiang Wu finally saw his body—well-proportioned bones and well-developed muscles.

“I need to see more closely.”

The eunuchs moved him closer. Yin Wuzhi’s brow twitched slightly, and his gaze took on a wolf-like sharpness.

Jiang Wu’s bright, lifeless eyes stared at him, as clear as a newborn’s, indifferent, as if he didn’t see Yin Wuzhi at all.

“It’s not too serious,” Imperial Physician Gu said. “With some medicine and a few days of rest, the wounds will scab over.”

For Yin Wuzhi, the injury wasn’t severe, but it was enough to make him realize how capricious and merciless the Emperor could be.

If the events in the palace earlier showed how much he valued and cherished him, the green pea incident revealed the Emperor’s cold indifference. It wasn’t affection; it was a game.

He was playing with him, raising him up only to cast him down.

As a human, Yin Wuzhi’s body was certainly exceptional. Jiang Wu reached toward his chest again, only for Yin Wuzhi to grab his wrist.

This time, Yin Wuzhi didn’t hurt him; he simply restrained him. “I’m in the middle of treatment.”

Imperial Physician Gu quickly applied medicine to Yin Wuzhi. Perhaps to avoid Jiang Wu, Yin Wuzhi got up and took the bandages himself. “Thank you, Doctor. I’ll handle the rest.”

Imperial Physician Gu nodded and didn’t linger.

Yin Wuzhi’s outer robe had been torn and stained with blood, making it unwearable.

Qi Hanmiao brought him fresh clothes, but Jiang Wu glanced at them and said, “Change them.”

Qi Hanmiao gently said, “I’m afraid the others may not be suitable.”

“Change them.”

“…” Qi Hanmiao quietly went to change and this time brought three different colored outfits.

Jiang Wu said, “The one in the middle.”

Yin Wuzhi: “…”

The one in the middle was pink and white.

“Put it on.”

Oh well, clothes aren’t gendered, so I’ll wear it.

He calmly changed into the outfit, deciding not to provoke the incapable emperor any further, and said, “Lunch has already been served, and Your Majesty’s revenge has been taken. May I now report on state affairs?”

Jiang Wu was still waiting for his opinion on the clothes, but hearing this, he immediately felt resistance and couldn’t continue teasing him: “You can handle it, no need to report to me.”

“Your Majesty did not say that in Chengde Hall.”

“I trust you.”

Yin Wuzhi’s expression grew serious.

Without a doubt, this was flattery meant to kill.

Just a moment ago, the emperor had dealt him a harsh blow over a minor issue. There was no way Yin Wuzhi would believe that the incapable emperor would easily hand over matters of state to him.

“I cannot make that decision,” Yin Wuzhi said as he grabbed his notes and turned back. “Please review them, Your Majesty.”

Jiang Wu slouched in his chair, dejectedly saying, “I want to go to the imperial garden and bask in the sun.”

Before Yin Wuzhi could persuade him further, Jiang Wu spoke with a tone that left no room for argument: “We’ll discuss this later.”

By this time, the rain had completely stopped, and the sun had peeked out from behind the clouds, warming the air and making one feel drowsy.

Jiang Wu switched to a wheelchair, wrapped himself in a light cloak, and had Yin Wuzhi push him to the imperial garden.

Suddenly, the playful laughter of several women could be heard. Jiang Wu turned his head to see a group of women dressed as palace maids, one of whom was being pushed on a swing.

“Alright, Yu Yu, it’s my turn now.”

“Let me swing a bit longer, then I’ll switch.”

Yin Wuzhi stopped pushing the wheelchair.

As expected of the incapable emperor, he stared at the beautiful women.

At the same time, the laughing women noticed them as well. From the yellow canopy over Jiang Wu’s head, the patterns on his cloak, and Qi Hanmiao following beside him, they recognized his identity.

Their faces immediately turned pale, and they knelt down in place, saying, “Your humble servants greet Your Majesty.”

Yu Yu, who was still on the swing, was a step too late. Seeing that the emperor was staring at her, her heart began to race. As she knelt down, trembling but hopeful, she thought, could it be that the emperor has taken a liking to her?

“Rise.”

The women stood up one after another. Yu Yu cautiously lifted her head. Although she couldn’t see the emperor’s face clearly, she could keenly feel that he was looking in her direction.

She… Is she really going to rise to power?

Yin Wuzhi also noticed Jiang Wu’s gaze and heard him say, “Go over.”

Such was the privilege of the emperor. He didn’t need to adhere to rules like “do not gaze at what is improper” or “do not touch what is improper.” If he fancied someone, he could approach them freely without fear of being called a scoundrel or worrying that they might refuse.

Yin Wuzhi’s eyes were filled with mockery.

The wheelchair slowly approached Yu Yu, who held her breath, nervously twisting her fingers together.

Yin Wuzhi dutifully pushed Jiang Wu to her.

Jiang Wu looked up and met the eyes of the blushing woman who had her head lowered.

“Move aside.”

Yu Yu was stunned for a moment.

Yin Wuzhi raised an eyebrow.

Qi Hanmiao couldn’t help but scold, “Still not moving aside?”

The women quickly retreated five feet away.

Jiang Wu reached out toward the swing, giving it a gentle push. The seat swayed lightly on its ropes.

Pessimist: ?

It seemed like flying.

“I want to sit.”

“…” Yin Wuzhi numbly lifted him onto the swing.

The cloak trailed on the ground, and the pessimist sat steadily on the swing. “Push.”

Qi Hanmiao reminded him, “Your Majesty, hold on tight. Be careful not to fall.”

“Mm, mm,” Jiang Wu said. “Push.”

Yin Wuzhi gave a gentle push. Jiang Wu said, “Higher.”

Yin Wuzhi pushed him a bit higher.

“A little higher.”

Qi Hanmiao chuckled. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen His Majesty so happy.”

“A little higher.”

Yin Wuzhi watched the incapable emperor’s hair fluttering in the wind and squinted slightly.

You want to go higher?

He placed his hands on Jiang Wu’s shoulders and whispered darkly, “Then, Your Majesty, don’t be afraid…”

He gave Jiang Wu a hard push.

The post-rain sky was clear blue, and as Jiang Wu looked up, his transparent eyes reflected the soft, white clouds. Slowly, he let go of the ropes.

Wow.

He was flying.