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The Daily Life of a Depressed Salted Fish Chapter 97

The Jiang family’s bathroom was spacious, but it still couldn’t compare to the heated pool from Jiang Wu’s past life.

He entered by himself and undressed leisurely. Then, he descended into the small pool with an unhurried grace.

A while later, there was a light knock on the door. Yin Wuzhi peeked in, catching sight of him. “Need help washing your back?” he asked.

Jiang Wu didn’t respond, which Yin Wuzhi took as tacit permission. He walked in, approaching the custom-built pool, and announced, “I’m coming in too.”

Jiang Wu, unbothered, kept his eyes closed, looking thoroughly relaxed.

Yin Wuzhi sat at the opposite end, mimicking Jiang Wu by closing his eyes—only to open them again moments later. He grabbed a small yellow rubber duck from the pool’s edge and gave it a few squeezes, producing loud squeaks.

Jiang Wu opened his eyes. “Stop making noise.”

Instead of complying, Yin Wuzhi scooted closer, making the duck squeak again right next to Jiang Wu. He placed the toy in the water, letting it float until it bumped into Jiang Wu’s chest. Then he grabbed a few more rubber ducks, setting them afloat as well. “This one’s the dad, this one’s the mom, this one’s the big brother, and this one’s the little brother,” he narrated.

“Go away,” Jiang Wu said flatly.

Yin Wuzhi squeezed in beside him. “You’re so old and still playing with these.”

“You’re the one playing.” 

Yin Wuzhi picked up the duck again, squeezing it with exaggerated enthusiasm. Water spurted from its valve, splashing onto Jiang Wu’s face.

Jiang Wu: “…”

Jiang Wu frowned, visibly irritated. He shifted to the side to avoid him.

His ex-boyfriend was getting more and more outrageous, now even using a rubber duck to spray water at him. 

When Jiang Wu moved, Yin Wuzhi followed, their limbs occasionally colliding. Jiang Wu finally grabbed one of the ducks and squeezed it at him in retaliation, only for the duck to slip back into the water after a few attempts.

Yin Wuzhi laughed. “Lazy ghost! If you’re not going to play with them, why did you even buy them? Hmm? Hmm?” 

Each “hmm” was punctuated by another squeak from the duck.

The repetitive noise grated on Jiang Wu’s nerves, and his patience finally snapped. He shoved the squeaky duck away and pressed his hands against Yin Wuzhi’s chest, forcefully pushing him back.

This time, Jiang Wu used more strength than usual. Caught off guard, Yin Wuzhi slipped, landing backward in the water with a splash. His arms hit the floating rubber ducks, sending a chorus of squeaks reverberating through the pool.

Rising and wiping the water from his face, Yin Wuzhi saw that Jiang Wu was already climbing out of the pool.

“What are you doing?” Yin Wuzhi stepped forward, reaching out to grab him.

“Don’t touch me,” Jiang Wu snapped.

His lips were pressed tightly together, and his expression, more animated than usual, made it clear that he was genuinely angry.

Reluctantly, Yin Wuzhi let him go. “I thought you liked them, with so many lying around.”

Jiang Wu, now wrapped in a small robe, stepped out of the bathroom without a word.

Back in his room, he buried his head in his pillow, pressing it over his face as he thought, Yin Wuzhi, you idiot.

Yin Wuzhi might still be clueless despite being at an age where puberty should have hit, but Jiang Wu wasn’t the same. 

He carried memories from his past life—memories of intimacy with Yin Wuzhi that the latter had clearly forgotten.

By the time Yin Wuzhi returned after blow-drying his hair, he was scratching his head, unsure of how to apologize. But when he peeked into Jiang Wu’s room, he found that the other had already fallen soundly asleep.

“…” So I’m the only one overthinking.

Yin Wuzhi climbed onto the bed, the mattress sinking slightly under his weight. Jiang Wu’s breathing remained soft and steady, completely undisturbed.

Lying beside him, Yin Wuzhi stared unblinkingly at the sleeping figure.

Interesting.

 Cute.

 I want to be friends with him.

Then he added a final thought: I want to be his closest friend.

Unable to resist, he reached out and pulled Jiang Wu into his arms, inhaling deeply, content.

The next morning, Yin Wuzhi woke up abruptly. The person nestled in his arms was still sleeping soundly, cheeks flushed pink and lips rosy.

Yin Wuzhi’s arm was pinned under him, and he felt a strange tension in his body. Carefully, he tried to slide his arm out.

Jiang Wu stirred, instinctively snuggling closer.

Trapped, Yin Wuzhi leaned back slightly, inch by inch, gently pushing Jiang Wu away until he finally managed to free himself.

Before he could fully retreat, Jiang Wu’s fingers brushed his chest, lightly circling as if out of habit. Yet his chest was bare, and the gesture accomplished nothing.

As Jiang Wu’s eyes fluttered open in a sleepy daze, Yin Wuzhi greeted him awkwardly. 

“You’re awake.”

Without waiting for a reply, he pulled his arm away. “I—I’m going to the bathroom.”

The en suite bathroom had excellent soundproofing. Once the door closed, nothing could be heard from outside.

After a while, Yin Wuzhi emerged, announcing, “Jiang Wu, I’m heading home first.”

“.”

“I need to grab some clothes. We’ll probably be leaving soon.”

Jiang Wu watched him for a few seconds, then, too tired to care, closed his eyes again. “Oh.”

When it was time to leave, Jiang Wu was the first to sit in the car.

Father Jiang asked, “Why did Ah Zhi go home so early? Did he not sleep well?”

“Who knows,” Father Yin replied. “He got back and didn’t say a word, just locked himself in his room and changed into a new outfit. Oh, there he is—his mom just bought him that outfit recently.”

Jiang Wu leaned against the window and took a glance outside. Sure enough, Yin Wuzhi had changed into a new outfit—a short, light coffee-colored jacket that accentuated his height and long legs.

The two boys shared a car. As soon as Jiang Wu got in, he slumped sideways, while Yin Wuzhi sat with his chin propped on his hand, staring out the window, lost in thought.

It was the weekend, and the amusement park was packed with people.

The moment Jiang Wu got out of the car, Yin Wuzhi grabbed his hand. “There’s a mobility cart over there. Hop on, and I’ll pull you.”

Father Jiang had planned well. With someone to handle the lines, all Jiang Wu had to do was sit in the cart and wait. The carts came in various shapes, and the one Yin Wuzhi and Jiang Wu rode was a panda-shaped car. While waiting in line, Yin Wuzhi took Jiang Wu for a spin around the park and asked, “What do you want to eat?”

“Ice.”

“Ice slush, ice water, or ice cream?”

“1.”

Yin Wuzhi brought him to a slush shop and bought him a matcha red bean slush, while he got himself a sakura strawberry one.

The clear cups, one green and one pink, looked quite pretty together.

Jiang Wu opened his mouth, but Yin Wuzhi stopped him. “Wait, let’s find a shady spot first.”

Jiang Wu reluctantly closed his mouth.

Under the shade, Yin Wuzhi parked the cart, inserted the straws into both cups, and fed Jiang Wu a sip. “Let me take a picture.”

Jiang Wu: “.”

He couldn’t understand why eating a slush required a photo.

Yin Wuzhi explained matter-of-factly, “It’s for the feed. Everyone does it.”

Jiang Wu didn’t use his phone much and had no interest in social media, so he couldn’t comprehend the reasoning.

Yin Wuzhi made him hold the green one while he held the pink one. With a click, he took a picture and started editing it.

Jiang Wu: “?”

He took another sip from the straw Yin Wuzhi was holding, his eyes fixed on the phone screen. Yin Wuzhi added cute stickers to the cups and layered on sparkly filters before posting it.

Jiang Wu asked in confusion, “What’s the point of that?”

“You wouldn’t get it,” Yin Wuzhi replied mysteriously.

Jiang Wu glanced at the sakura pink slush and took another sip of his matcha green. Then, he lazily rested his head on Yin Wuzhi’s shoulder.

Yin Wuzhi stiffened. His shoulder and arm, now weighed down, suddenly felt awkward.

To others, the pose might have seemed overly intimate. Passing girls shot them surprised looks, but Yin Wuzhi knew that Jiang Wu was just being lazy again. Lowering his lashes, he asked hesitantly, “Uh, is your matcha… good?”

“Mm,” Jiang Wu replied. “It’s fragrant.”

Yin Wuzhi stirred his straw. “Want to try mine?”

“Mm.”

Still allowing Jiang Wu to lean on him, Yin Wuzhi pursed his lips, swapped their straws, and brought his cup to Jiang Wu’s mouth.

Jiang Wu: “.”

Yin Wuzhi’s disdain was painfully obvious.

Back in the day, this guy had stolen sips from his milk without even thinking of swapping straws. Now he acted all cautious.

Jiang Wu took a sip of the strawberry slush and declared, “Disgusting.”

Yin Wuzhi was just about to taste the matcha slush when Jiang Wu added, “You’re not allowed to drink mine.”

Yin Wuzhi: “?”

“Swap it back,” Jiang Wu demanded.

Yin Wuzhi: “…Oh.”

Feeling slightly dejected, Yin Wuzhi switched the straws back and asked, “Isn’t matcha bitter?”

“It’s fragrant.”

With the straws back in place, Yin Wuzhi said, “I still want to try it.”

Jiang Wu took a big gulp, finishing most of the cup in one go, and then said, “You’re not getting any.”

The cup was in Yin Wuzhi’s hand, and all he needed to do was raise it to drink. Back in kindergarten, Jiang Wu’s half-eaten snacks were frequently snatched by him. Yet now, when rejected, Yin Wuzhi unexpectedly held back.

Jiang Wu’s large gulp left him slightly out of breath. 

Yin Wuzhi listened to the puffing sound by his shoulder and glanced at the matcha slush’s straw. He unconsciously licked his lips, then took another sip of his strawberry slush. But now it tasted only sour, with no hint of sweetness.

Just how good could matcha red bean slush taste?

Jiang Wu was never a big eater, and such a large slush was beyond him.

“Son, son!” Father Jiang approached in a monkey-shaped cart. “Come on, let’s go ride the carousel.”

Yin Wuzhi was going too. Just as Father Jiang was about to leave, Jiang Wu said, “I want to switch carts.”

As the father and son pair drove off, Yin Wuzhi looked down at the leftover slush in his hand. Then, with a sudden decision, he raised the straw from the matcha cup to his lips.

His tongue brushed the inner part of the straw, and after a moment, he took a deep, deliberate sip.

The green slush surged up, filling the straw completely.

The carousel was as boring as it could get. While others took photos, Jiang Wu had already sprawled on the horse.

“Son, son, look at the camera for Mom!” Father Jiang called. Jiang Wu lazily tilted his face upward, and Mother Jiang snapped a photo, unable to suppress a chuckle.

As the carousel ride ended, Yin Wuzhi returned in the panda cart. Mother Jiang asked, “Why so late? Come on, Ah Zhi, sit in front of Ah Wu.”

“I’m not playing this,” Yin Wuzhi replied, holding his strawberry slush. “I’ll wait for the next one.”

Jiang Wu climbed off the carousel and asked, “Where’s mine?”

“I thought you didn’t want it… so I threw it away.”

Jiang Wu: “.”

In the end, Jiang Wu went on the roller coaster. While Jiang’s parents were left trembling with fear, Jiang Wu remained expressionless the entire ride. After a few thrill rides, he even yawned.

That evening, Jiang Wu returned home and rummaged through his drawers, finding an ancient phone that was long out of charge. 

He tried charging it, but it wouldn’t power on.

Reluctantly, he wandered out to borrow a discarded phone from his parents. After their repeated promises to buy him a new phone tomorrow, he finally retreated back to his bed.

Opening WeChat, he belatedly realized—he didn’t have a WeChat account.

Jiang Wu: “.”

Grudgingly, he logged into his QQ account, which Yin Wuzhi had helped him create ages ago. The account had only one contact—Yin Wuzhi.

Clicking on Yin Wuzhi’s avatar, he frowned.

Why do you only post on WeChat Moments? Don’t you care about QQ Space anymore?

All chapter links should work perfectly now! If there is any errors, please a drop a comment so we can fix it asap!
The Daily Life of a Depressed Salted Fish

The Daily Life of a Depressed Salted Fish

Status: Ongoing
Jiang Wu is a wandering soul who has roamed the earth for a thousand years. One day, he finds himself in a body, reincarnated as a historically infamous and deposed emperor who was beheaded after a coup. Jiang Wu: Hmm... Being an emperor, a position he finds nightmarish, Jiang Wu, with his depressed outlook on life, just wants to hand over the throne and quickly return to his ghostly state. To speed up the rebellion of the Yin family, he summons the Yin family's eldest son to the palace to serve him. Immediately, the court is filled with outrage, and the Yin family almost storms the palace to skin him alive. That night, Jiang Wu lazily demands humiliating tasks from the fiercely glaring Yin Wuzhi: "Hold me, feed me, and lull me to sleep." Finished, he sends Yin Wuzhi off to review documents. The next day, the humiliation continues: "Hold me, push me on a swing, lift me up high." Finished, he sends Yin Wuzhi off to review documents. On the third day, the demands escalate: "Hold me, kiss me, and squat down to listen to what I have to say." Yin Wuzhi, staring at the lazy, slumped figure on the couch: .....  This is too much!!! If this Laozi doesn't kill you, I won't be called Yin Wuzhi!!! He furiously reviews documents.jpg Then, a year passes, two years pass, and despite Jiang Wu's daily humiliations and forcing Yin Wuzhi to review documents, the throne becomes more secure, the people grow richer, and the empire prospers year by year. Gloomy Critic: ...  According to my fate, I should have met my end by now, so why is everything still fine? Trying it out myself.jpg Yin Wuzhi... Yin Wuzhi is going mad.

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