After Shen Suifeng asked, time seemed to freeze for a moment.
Feng Lezhen blinked and calmly countered, “Do I have the scent of medicine on me?”
“You do,” Shen Suifeng answered confidently.
“I didn’t smell anything… It’s probably from you. You’re always hugging me, that’s how it got on me,” Feng Lezhen said smoothly, still sitting on his lap, lying as naturally as breathing.
Shen Suifeng gave a cold laugh. “The scent of medicine on me is the fresh herbal smell of raw ingredients. The one on the Shizi is brewed, and among them, the yellow gardenia root has a distinctly bitter fragrance—only someone who’s been taking it regularly would…”
“That’s right, I ran into him just now,” Feng Lezhen admitted honestly.
Since she wasn’t lying, Shen Suifeng actually frowned. “You went to his chambers?”
“No, why would I go to his chambers for no reason?” Feng Lezhen was puzzled.
Shen Suifeng: “…”
Feng Lezhen: “…”
A strange silence fell. Sensing something was off, Feng Lezhen was just about to think of a way to smooth things over for a certain troublesome someone when Shen Suifeng had already lifted her off his lap like a tray of dishes and stood up to leave. “Your Highness should rest. I’ll come back to keep you company later.”
“…Just say it was the noise from the servants that drew your attention! Don’t say I told on him!” Feng Lezhen called after him.
Shen Suifeng didn’t respond, didn’t even turn around, just pulled open the door.
The wind and snow rushed into the room in an instant, bringing a brief chill to the warm bedchamber, and the next moment the door was shut again.
The wind and snow were sealed outside, along with their howling sounds. Feng Lezhen rubbed her nose and suddenly felt a little guilty toward Qi Jingqing… The last time she felt this kind of guilt was when Feng Ji pretended to be sick to skip lessons, and she accidentally let it slip. That was one of the rare times she felt sorry for Feng Ji.
…Hopefully, after being tormented by her for so long, Shen Suifeng’s temper had softened a bit. There was nothing more she could do—she could only silently pray for Qi Jingqing.
An hour later, Shen Suifeng returned, covered in cold.
Truly covered in cold—his brows and lashes were dusted with sparkling snowflakes, making his already handsome face look even more otherworldly.
Feng Lezhen, for once, greeted him with rare diligence, taking his cloak and setting it aside, even pouring him a cup of hot water herself. “Thank you for your hard work, Master Shen. Hurry and warm yourself up.”
How could Shen Suifeng not know what she was thinking? Taking the cup, he shot her a sideways glance. “Relax. I didn’t sell you out.”
It was precisely because he couldn’t sell her out that he didn’t ask Qi Jingqing for her cloak.
Feng Lezhen was relieved. Then she asked, “How is he doing?”
Shen Suifeng’s brow furrowed again. “Of course his fever came back. The cough is worse than before. He knows his body is as fragile as paper, yet he still dares to push himself. If it weren’t for my master’s dying wish that I treat him with all my heart, I’d have left tonight!”
Then, remembering something, he looked at her. “And taken you with me.”
Feng Lezhen couldn’t help laughing. “So what now?”
“What else? I’ve adjusted his prescription. I’ll wait until his fever breaks before coming back. If it doesn’t come back tonight, he should be fine.” Shen Suifeng was still a bit angry as he brought it up again. “He used to be the easiest patient. Don’t know what’s gotten into him lately—gone out twice in a few days and both times got chilled. Truly infuriating.”
“Cooped up indoors all day, it’s only natural to want some fresh air once in a while. Don’t fuss with a sick man.” Feng Lezhen tried to soothe him.
Shen Suifeng let out a low “mm.” The next second, catching her gaze, he remembered he hadn’t finished what he wanted to ask earlier.
Feng Lezhen gave a light cough. “It’s getting late. Why don’t we…”
Before she could finish, he picked her up and carried her to the bed.
“Let’s talk,” he said.
Feng Lezhen had no choice but to continue the topic. She recounted how she ran into Qi Jingqing in the pavilion and how they ended up hiding together from the house servants.
When she was pushing the wheelchair and running, it hadn’t felt like much. But now, recalling the events, it all felt increasingly absurd. Shen Suifeng was also speechless. After a long while, he said, “Couldn’t the Shizi just explain himself? Why run off in the snow?”
“He explain, but Qi Zhen and his wife might not believe him.” Feng Lezhen sighed. Every absurd decision usually has a hard lesson behind it. She had gone through enough herself to know not to count on Qi Jingqing’s explanation working.
Shen Suifeng noticed her tone of someone who’d “been through it,” and his eyes shifted slightly. “The person who arranged Your Highness’s bedroom furnishings back then… wasn’t Fan Gonggong, was it?”
“No, it was Qi Jingqing,” Feng Lezhen didn’t bother to hide it anymore.
A woman’s boudoir—never mind how private it is—just replicating every table, bed, and dressing stand to match the ones from years ago in the palace must’ve taken great care. Now that Shen Suifeng had confirmation, he instinctively frowned.
Before he could think too deeply, Feng Lezhen took the initiative to speak. “Back when he stayed in the capital for a while, he often invited me to visit Yingguan. It’s a long journey, and I didn’t want to go, so I turned him down saying I wouldn’t be able to get used to living there. He said if he moved everything from my room to his estate, I’d be able to adapt.”
As she recalled childhood memories, a trace of a smile appeared in Feng Lezhen’s eyes. “I never thought that after all these years, he’d still remember the nonsense I said as a child.”
Shen Suifeng’s expression grew subtly complex. “It’s not strange that the Shizi would remember a childhood promise. What’s strange is that even after the drowning incident, he still put in the effort to fulfill it.”
“He never blamed me for falling into the water back then,” Feng Lezhen said thoughtfully. “But I wonder if, after so many years of suffering, he’s still the same as before… From what I saw today, he doesn’t seem to hold a grudge.”
Shen Suifeng took her hand. “The Shizi is clever and open-hearted. He knows you didn’t mean for it to happen, so of course he wouldn’t blame you.”
“You don’t understand. If I hadn’t wanted to go admire the view at the pond that day, he wouldn’t have followed, and the incident wouldn’t have happened,” Feng Lezhen pinched her brow. “I wasn’t the one who pushed him, but it was because of me that he ended up in danger.”
“You weren’t the one who pushed him?” Shen Suifeng looked up abruptly.
Feng Lezhen chuckled. “Surprised?”
“What exactly happened?” Shen Suifeng frowned.
What could it have been? It was just one of those tangled, messy stories. Back then, there were many children playing by the pond—not just her and Qi Jingqing. Among them, Feng Ji had always been the most reckless. In a moment of carelessness, he accidentally bumped into Qi Jingqing, sending him into the water. She reached out instinctively to grab him, but it was too late. Qi Jingqing fell in, and her outstretched hand became, in the eyes of all present, the evidence of her having pushed him.
“With Feng Ji’s brains, it definitely wasn’t a deliberate setup—only an accident. But all these years, he’s always been wary of Qi Zhen. Not just because Qi Zhen commands troops and is hard to control, but also because this matter has always been stuck in his heart,” a trace of mockery flickered in Feng Lezhen’s eyes. “Still, he’s not completely stupid. He knows there’s no evidence, and that just my word alone won’t overturn the case, so he was confident enough to let me come to Yingguan.”
“The Shizi doesn’t know who pushed him?” Shen Suifeng frowned.
Feng Lezhen gave a helpless laugh. “He was only squatting by the pond watching floating lanterns—how could he notice anything behind him? After waking from several days of unconsciousness, he even lied for me, saying he fell in because he lost his footing, that it had nothing to do with me. But so many eyes saw me reach out—his explanation was useless.”
No wonder she’d said earlier that even if the Shizi explained, the Marquis wouldn’t believe it. There had already been precedent. Shen Suifeng looked at the calm, light smile on her face, finding it hard to be as relaxed as she was. “And you? You didn’t defend yourself? With Your Highness’s intelligence, even as a child, you shouldn’t have been completely powerless to fight back.”
Feng Lezhen was momentarily stunned by the question, not knowing how to answer. “Uh… It’s complicated. You probably wouldn’t understand… Even if it was an accident, it couldn’t be treated as just a children’s mishap. Sometimes… you have to think of the bigger picture…”
Her voice grew quieter and quieter. Shen Suifeng pulled her into his arms.
“What are you doing?” Feng Lezhen came back to herself, her voice muffled.
Shen Suifeng held her tighter. “Nothing. Just feeling sorry for Your Highness.”
Feng Lezhen nestled against his collar. The heaviness in her heart seemed to ease a little. “It’s all in the past.”
“…Mn.”
Night deepened. The wind and snow outside gradually lessened, and the room was silent.
Feng Lezhen, leaning against Shen Suifeng’s chest, unknowingly fell asleep. Shen Suifeng gently laid her on the bed and smoothed the crease from her brow.
He sat by the bed, watching her peaceful sleeping face, and suddenly regretted bringing up the topic at all.
Maybe it was because she had just seen Qi Jingqing, or maybe they had spoken too much of the past—Feng Lezhen uncharacteristically dreamed of that winter, of the great hall warmed by the floor dragon yet still chillingly cold.
“Royal Father, I swear on my life—it was my younger brother who pushed Qi Jingqing, not me. Royal Father, please believe me!” She saw her nine-year-old self kneeling on the ground, red-eyed with grievance, stubbornly holding back tears.
Emperor Qianyuan stepped down from the dragon throne in two or three strides and lifted her personally. “Royal Father believes you.”
“Really?” Her young voice choked—clearly, she had been afraid.
“Of course it’s true. Lezhen is steady and thoughtful—even if you sometimes play, you wouldn’t do something so reckless as to push someone into a pond.” The emperor used a handkerchief to wipe her tears and only spoke again after her emotions had steadied. “But today’s matter, you must take the blame. No one can know it was Ah Ji.”
Feng Lezhen’s eyes moved slightly. She heard her nine-year-old self cry out, “Why?”
“Because Ah Ji is a prince—the future heir of Great Qian. Qi Zhen holds a heavy military post, commanding the most vital stronghold of our nation. If he harbors resentment toward Ah Ji and someday causes trouble because of it, the people of Great Qian will suffer.” Emperor Qianyuan’s face was solemn, just like he always was when explaining things to her.
“What about me?”
“What about me?”
Both the adult and nine-year-old Feng Lezhen spoke at once. The man before her likely thought she was simply asking why she had to bear this injustice. But only she—and the nine-year-old her—knew: what she really meant was, if Feng Ji was the future heir, then what was she?
Hadn’t they said she bore the traits of an emperor, far surpassing Feng Ji in talent? Hadn’t they praised her as being like the emperor in his youth, worthy to be the next ruler of Great Qian? And now he spoke of Feng Ji as prince and heir—so what did all that past cultivation and praise mean? What was she—Feng Lezhen—supposed to be?
“I know you’ve been wronged,” the emperor said. “But born in the royal family, none of us are truly free. So long as Great Qian remains stable and prosperous, this bit of grievance must be endured by everyone. You’ve studied under the Grand Tutor since childhood—you should understand this.” Emperor Qianyuan crouched and straightened her clothes. “Good child, now go apologize to Zhenbian Marquis. Don’t stop until his anger cools. Don’t be afraid—you’re a princess. He wouldn’t dare do anything to you.”
He was a loving father, yet a stern monarch. Even at nine years old, even though she thought herself favored, she knew when she could act out and when she had to obey. So she nodded and agreed. Then she went to the Marquis’s private residence in the capital and knelt in his courtyard in front of a whole yard full of servants.
That winter was truly cold. The pond water was freezing. The blue stone courtyard of the marquis’ manor was just as cold. She knelt for a full day and night, kneeling away her last shred of dignity, kneeling until every childish illusion was shattered. Only when Qi Jingqing finally awoke did a ten-years-older-looking Qi Zhen appear and have her sent back to the palace.
Feng Lezhen watched her nine-year-old self pass out the moment she was placed in the carriage, watched Emperor Qianyuan personally take her back into the palace, staying up two nights to care for her until she woke.
“It’s okay now. Everything’s okay…” he soothed softly—like an ordinary father.
Feng Lezhen, now grown, sat by the bed and tucked in her younger self. She turned to look at the worn and weary face of Emperor Qianyuan and said, “It’s not okay. My knees ached for almost three years. After you died, Qi Zhen submitted memorials every year to impeach me, giving me endless trouble. Now I’m here at Yingguan, left to be carved up like meat on a chopping block. One wrong move and everything collapses. Royal Father, when you made me take the blame back then, did you ever imagine I’d end up like this?”
Emperor Qianyuan paused, lifting his head to look in her direction. Feng Lezhen was startled—she almost thought he was truly looking at her.
When she opened her eyes again, daylight had already broken.
She blinked slowly, and when she turned her head, she saw Shen Suifeng nodding off at the foot of the bed.
She stirred slightly, and he instantly woke.
“Your Highness,” he said, collecting himself and sitting upright.
“Why didn’t you come sleep properly?” Feng Lezhen asked.
“It’s someone else’s residence. I didn’t want to be disrespectful to Your Highness,” Shen Suifeng said with a faint smile.
Feng Lezhen raised her brows slightly. “If it’s not appropriate, why didn’t you go back to your own room?”
“Your Highness was out so long last night. I was worried you might develop a fever in the middle of the night, so I stayed here to keep watch,” Shen Suifeng replied with a gentle smile. “Fortunately, Your Highness is in good health—nothing happened.”
Feng Lezhen gave a soft laugh. “Then I must thank Mister Shen for the trouble.”
“Your Highness is too polite,” Shen Suifeng answered in kind.
The two exchanged glances and both smiled. Shen Suifeng’s gaze was warm, but he didn’t ask why she had choked up in her dream the night before.
Since she’d woken up in a foul mood from dreaming about the past, Feng Lezhen simply had someone send word to the Qi couple and left the marquis’s manor. It wasn’t until she returned to her own residence that she remembered she’d left a cloak at Qi Jingqing’s place.
“I forgot to take it back,” Feng Lezhen said, rather regretfully. “You’re the one who bought that cloak for me.”
Shen Suifeng chuckled. “Shall I go retrieve it?”
“Better not. If someone finds out and guesses that I saw him last night, they’ll say I’ve ruined his reputation,” Feng Lezhen shook her head. “I’ll ask him for it another time, when there’s a chance.”
As the two chatted and walked into the courtyard, Ah Ye spotted them from afar. She immediately tossed the broom in her hands to Chen Jinan and ran over.
“Your Highness!”
“Slow down, aren’t you afraid of slipping?” Feng Lezhen frowned.
“Your Highness, you’re finally back!” Ah Ye pulled a letter from her robe and handed it over. “It arrived yesterday—they say it came from Tayuan.”
“Tayuan?” Feng Lezhen raised an eyebrow at the familiar name and began to open the letter.
Ah Ye looked at her curiously. “Your Highness has never been to Tayuan and doesn’t know anyone there. Why would you get a letter from Tayuan… Wait, isn’t Feizhan the Prince of Tayuan?!”
Feng Lezhen’s eyes flickered slightly. Her hand paused mid-tear.
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