By the end of March, Yingguan was finally beginning to warm up. Qi Jingqing, who had spent the winter cooped up indoors, could finally go out openly—and every time he did, he naturally made straight for the Eldest Princess’s residence.
“You’ve come to see me how many times this month already?” Feng Lezhen said slowly. “At this rate, I’m afraid everyone will know you’ve grown close with me.”
They were playing chess today. Qi Jingqing calmly captured one of her guards on the board and replied, “There’s nothing shameful about being close to Your Highness. Let them know, if they want to.”
Feng Lezhen raised an eyebrow. “Why do I feel like ever since the truth came out that year, you’ve gotten more and more brazen?”
“Am I not allowed to be?” Qi Jingqing looked up at her.
Only a small chessboard separated them. His sudden upward glance caught her off guard—those beautiful eyes of his unexpectedly filled with her reflection. Feng Lezhen paused slightly, momentarily dazed by his looks.
Qi Jingqing noticed her distraction. The corners of his lips lifted subtly. “Your Highness is still the same as when you were little.”
“What was I like when I was little?”
Qi Jingqing thought for a moment, then slowly said four words: “Power-hungry, and lustful.”
Feng Lezhen laughed. “Nonsense.”
“Your Highness doesn’t agree? Want me to prove it?” Qi Jingqing said with a soft laugh.
“Prove it? How would you do that?”
Qi Jingqing didn’t answer. Instead, he suddenly leaned forward, easily crossing the Chu-Han boundary on the chessboard. Feng Lezhen hadn’t expected such a move—she instinctively leaned back, only to be caught by his hands.
Their lips were just an inch apart. They could feel each other’s breath—warm against their faces. It was the perfect spring day: light clothing, brilliant sunlight, sharp birdcalls from the garden. For a moment, it was unclear whose heartbeat was thudding like a drum.
They looked at each other for a long time. Then Qi Jingqing slowly spoke.
“Your Highness.”
“…Mm?” Feng Lezhen was absent-minded.
“Don’t cheat at chess,” he said.
Caught red-handed, Feng Lezhen: “…”
After a brief silence, Qi Jingqing let her go and sat back upright. Feng Lezhen returned the piece she had just picked up back to the board. The moment of flirtation between them seemed to vanish without a trace.
“I lost,” Feng Lezhen sighed.
Qi Jingqing smiled. “Your Highness won three rounds already—it’s only fair you lose one.”
Feng Lezhen gave him a sidelong glance but said nothing.
Qi Jingqing stayed at the Eldest Princess’s residence until after dinner before returning home. As soon as he entered his room, he fell asleep. The pageboy quietly covered him with a blanket and stepped out—only to bump into Song Lian in the courtyard.
“…Madam,” the pageboy quickly greeted her.
Song Lian asked, “Where’s Jingqing? Already asleep?”
“Yes, Madam,” the boy replied.
Song Lian glanced at the tightly shut door behind him and frowned slightly. “He’s been going to bed so early lately… I suppose running around all day must be tiring.”
The pageboy gave an awkward laugh and said nothing.
“Qi An, you’re always by his side. Do you know where he goes every day?”
Of course he couldn’t say it was to the Eldest Princess’s residence. After a brief hesitation, he answered, “Uh… just out enjoying the flowers and scenery. Now that the weather’s nice, it’s normal the shizi would want to go out more.”
“He spends the whole day admiring flowers and scenery?” Song Lian was clearly unconvinced.
The pageboy broke out in a cold sweat, lowering his head and not daring to meet her eyes. “Yes, exactly.”
Song Lian frowned and was about to press further when the boy suddenly exclaimed, “There’s still medicine warming in the kitchen—I need to take care of it!”
Since it concerned her son’s medicine, Song Lian quickly waved him off. The boy gave a hurried bow and ran off.
Song Lian watched him flee and then looked back at the tightly shut room, the doubt in her heart only growing stronger. After thinking it over, she decided she’d come back early tomorrow morning and ask her son directly where he had been going.
With that on her mind, she came to the main courtyard at first light the next day—only to find she had missed him again.
“He’s gone again?” she asked, surprised.
A servant sweeping the courtyard answered respectfully, “He left a quarter of an hour ago.”
“Do you know where he went?”
“Usually Qi An follows the young master. I don’t know where they went.”
Song Lian pressed her lips together and glanced at the servants coming and going from the room. After a moment of thought, she stepped inside.
Usually, Qi Jingqing stayed in his room with the windows shut. But now that he had left early, the servants had opened the doors and windows to air it out as they cleaned.
Song Lian stood in the room for a while and slowly began to sense something was off.
“Why hasn’t the bedding been taken out to be aired?” she asked. “The sun is nice today—it’d be good to take it out.”
“Madam, the shizi said no one but Qi An is allowed to touch his bed,” the servant replied.
It was normal for a grown boy to care about such things. Song Lian didn’t dwell on it and continued walking through the room, mentally noting what needed to be replenished so she could send someone out to shop.
Just as she neared the bed and was about to turn away out of propriety, her gaze caught the corner of a handkerchief peeking out from under the pillow.
A handkerchief by itself wasn’t unusual—but the bit showing bore a double-sided embroidery stitch.
That was a technique favored by noblewomen in the capital. In Yingguan, she had only seen such work on Feng Lezhen’s handkerchiefs.
Song Lian’s heart trembled. After a long moment, she reached out with a shaking hand and slowly pulled the handkerchief from under the pillow.
Qi Jingqing had spent the whole day at the Eldest Princess’s residence again. As he was heading home, he hadn’t even reached the carriage before he was already yawning nonstop. Feng Lezhen, watching him, couldn’t help but laugh. “You’d best not come tomorrow. Stay home and rest. You keep running around like this, your body won’t take it.”
“My body’s been getting better lately,” Qi Jingqing explained.
The pageboy chimed in from the side, “That’s right, that’s right! The young master’s been taking his medicine on time and eating more than he used to. He’s much healthier now.”
Hearing this, Feng Lezhen took a closer look at Qi Jingqing’s face and found that his complexion truly had improved quite a bit compared to before.
“You still need to rest more. Don’t tire yourself running around,” she reminded him.
Qi Jingqing nodded obediently, his eyes lingering on her with something unspoken.
Feng Lezhen paused, the smile at the corner of her lips deepening. “Go on back.”
“Alright.”
Qi Jingqing turned and boarded the carriage. Feng Lezhen took a step back and watched him leave. Only then did she return to her room with Ah Ye’s help.
“Tomorrow, prepare one of the side rooms,” Feng Lezhen instructed. “Also, go to the marquis’s estate and bring back the pillows and bedding he’s used to. Otherwise, he won’t be able to rest properly when he naps here.”
Ah Ye laughed. “Didn’t Your Highness say you wouldn’t let him come anymore?”
“Just because I say he can’t come, he won’t come?” Feng Lezhen also laughed.
Ah Ye grinned. “So does Your Highness want him to come, or not?”
“Don’t talk nonsense.” Feng Lezhen knew exactly what she was implying and shot her a glance.
Ah Ye blinked innocently. “Your Highness, the shizi is being so obvious—how could you not notice?”
Feng Lezhen’s eyes shifted slightly.
“In the past, because of what happened all those years ago, you didn’t dare get too close to him. But now that the truth has come to light, and Qi Jingren holds the military power, what do you still have to be afraid of?” Ah Ye asked, confused.
“There’s still plenty I have to be cautious about,” Feng Lezhen sighed.
Ah Ye didn’t understand, but seeing that she didn’t wish to explain further, she dropped the matter.
When Qi Jingqing returned to the marquis’s estate, Song Lian had already been waiting in the main courtyard for nearly half an hour. Seeing him enter looking worn out, she stepped forward gently. “Jingqing.”
Qi Jingqing stopped. “Mother?”
“You’ve been so busy these past few days. You’re not coming back until after dark every time,” Song Lian said with mild reproach.
Qi Jingqing smiled gently. “What do I have to be busy with? I’m just passing the time. Did you wait up for me, Mother? Is there something you wanted to talk about?”
“Qingming is coming up soon,” Song Lian began. “I want to offer an ever-burning lamp for your maternal grandfather. But just offering a lamp feels a little too perfunctory. Would you stay home tomorrow and copy some scriptures to send to the temple on my behalf?”
Qi Jingqing nodded. “Alright, I’ll copy them tomorrow. When do you need them by?”
“There’s no rush. Take your time and be careful with your health,” Song Lian said warmly.
Qi Jingqing agreed, and the matter was settled.
Song Lian lovingly touched his face. “It’s getting late. Go and rest.”
“Yes.” Qi Jingqing had a faint sense that something was off with his mother’s mood today, but no matter how he looked, he couldn’t find anything out of place. After a moment’s hesitation, he turned and went back to his room.
Song Lian watched as the door closed behind him, and the smile on her lips slowly faded.
“Madam,” a figure emerged from the shadows, “the shizi indeed returned from the Eldest Princess’s residence.”
“Understood. You may go. And remember—do not tell the Marquis about this.”
“Yes.”
After the figure left, Song Lian stared at the shut door, letting out a troubled sigh.
The night passed without incident, and dawn came in the blink of an eye.
Feng Lezhen awoke in the morning to the scent of damp earth after the rain. Her mood instantly brightened. “It rained last night?”
“Nothing escapes Your Highness,” Ah Ye replied with a laugh. “It did rain.”
Feng Lezhen rose leisurely. With the help of Ah Ye and the other maids, she washed and dressed. By the time she was ready, half an hour had passed.
“There’s really no need to get so properly dressed when I’m not going out,” she said, walking slowly with Ah Ye’s support.
“That won’t do,” Ah Ye objected. “Your Highness is the most noble woman in the realm. Your grooming and attire must never be sloppy.”
Feng Lezhen raised her eyebrows. “You just enjoy fussing over me.”
Caught red-handed, Ah Ye stuck out her tongue. “Well, Your Highness is so beautiful, and I happen to be skilled at adding the finishing touches. Naturally I want to make you even more beautiful.”
Feng Lezhen chuckled and was just about to speak when Fan Gonggong came rushing into the courtyard.
“The shizi’s come again?” Ah Ye asked before he could even speak.
Feng Lezhen said nothing, but the smile in her eyes deepened.
Fan Gonggong bowed. “The shizi hasn’t come—but the marquis’s wife has.”
Feng Lezhen paused.
“The marquis’s wife?” Ah Ye was surprised. “What’s she here for?”
“I don’t know,” Fan Gonggong replied. “I asked a few questions but couldn’t get an answer, so I’ve led her to the side hall for now.”
Feng Lezhen’s expression remained calm. “Let’s go see.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
Fan Gonggong led the way, with Ah Ye at Feng Lezhen’s side. The three of them quickly arrived at the side hall.
“Greetings to Your Highness the Eldest Princess,” Song Lian said, bowing deeply.
Feng Lezhen stepped forward to give a courtesy lift. “There’s no need for such formality, Madam.”
Song Lian rose with the gesture and gave her a slight smile.
“It’s early—what brings you here so soon, Madam?” Feng Lezhen asked politely.
Song Lian glanced meaningfully at the people behind her. Feng Lezhen understood and looked to Ah Ye.
“You all, come with me,” Ah Ye instructed. The servants followed her out of the room.
Once everyone had left, Ah Ye quietly closed the door—but instead of leaving, she leaned against the crack to eavesdrop.
Fan Gonggong frowned. “You…”
“Shh,” Ah Ye whispered. “It’s just the two of them in there. What if she tries to harm Her Highness?”
Fan Gonggong twitched his lips. What would the marquis’s wife harm Her Highness for? But seeing Ah Ye’s sparkling eyes, he knew there was no use arguing. So he simply walked away.
Inside the hall, Feng Lezhen personally lifted the teapot. Song Lian hurried forward to receive it, and Feng Lezhen handed it to her as a matter of course.
“I came today because there is indeed something I wish to speak to Your Highness about,” Song Lian said, lowering her eyes respectfully. She poured a cup of tea and offered it with both hands.
Seeing her take such a humble posture, Feng Lezhen’s brows shifted slightly. She took the tea and placed it on the table. “It seems Madam has encountered some difficulty and requires my help.”
Song Lian gave a faint smile. After a moment of deliberation, she spoke: “Jingqing has been going out frequently these days. Does Your Highness know where he’s been going?”
At those words, Feng Lezhen already knew what she was getting at, so she answered directly, “He’s been here.”
Although Song Lian had guessed as much, hearing Feng Lezhen say it out loud almost made her smile falter. “And what does he do here?”
“Nothing much—chats, plays chess, eats a few pastries. Nothing else. Madam needn’t worry. I’m aware of his health condition and would never let him do anything dangerous,” Feng Lezhen replied gently.
Song Lian forced a smile. “Your Highness has always been measured. Naturally, I trust you.”
Feng Lezhen didn’t respond, simply looked at her unhurriedly, as if waiting to hear what she really wanted to say.
Song Lian’s composure nearly cracked. After a brief silence, she finally spoke: “Yesterday, with nothing else to do, I went to look for Jingqing in his room, but he had already left early in the morning.”
“Mhm. He was here.”
“…With nothing to do, I walked around his room to see if anything was lacking, something I could restock. As I looked around, I accidentally found a woman’s handkerchief under his pillow.” Song Lian’s voice trembled slightly at this point and she had to pause briefly. “It was double-sided embroidery, with one corner stitched in a cloud pattern that only the imperial family is allowed to use. Your Highness, do you know whose it is?”
Feng Lezhen paused and looked up at her.
In the marquis’s manor, Qi Jingqing had been restless since waking, with the uneasy feeling that something was wrong. He kept making mistakes while copying scriptures, and in half an hour had only completed one page.
Rubbing his brow and considering whether he should go out for air, his attendant suddenly burst in, stumbling in panic: “M-my lord, bad news—Madam has gone to the Eldest Princess’s residence!”
Qi Jingqing shot to his feet. “Why did she go there?”
“I—I don’t know, but…”
Before he could finish, Qi Jingqing was already out the door with his cane. The servant blinked, then hurried after him.
At the Eldest Princess’s residence—
After Song Lian asked her question, the side hall fell into complete silence.
A long pause. Then Feng Lezhen spoke calmly, “I have many handkerchiefs. I don’t recall when I lost one.”
Song Lian’s eyelashes fluttered. “That handkerchief was kept very well. Only one corner was slightly frayed from frequent handling. It seems Your Highness must have lost it some time ago.”
“What exactly does Madam intend by telling me this?” Feng Lezhen didn’t want to play this game of circles and simply asked outright.
Song Lian stared at her for a long while, then suddenly knelt down.
Feng Lezhen let out a laugh. “Madam, what is the meaning of this?”
“I… beg Your Highness to spare my son,” she said, bowing low in supplication.
Feng Lezhen’s smile deepened. “The way Madam says that—it’s as if I’m some villain who forcibly abducts men. I honestly don’t know when that handkerchief ended up with Qi Jingqing. If Madam wishes to accuse me over it, I’m afraid I won’t accept that.”
“Your Highness has always been open and forthright. Since you say so, I will believe you.” Song Lian straightened, meeting her gaze directly. “It’s my son who’s been bold and reckless, daring to long for a woman like Your Highness—one beyond all others. I only hope Your Highness will show lenience, knowing he’s been raised sheltered and is naïve to the world.”
Feng Lezhen picked up her teacup and gently swept away the surface foam with the lid. The crisp clink of porcelain was the only sound in the hall.
After a while, she finally said, “This manner of pleading—truthfully, I dislike it. It makes me seem like something shameful, unfit to be seen in the light.”
“…That wasn’t my intention,” Song Lian quickly explained. “I just thought it better to be clear sooner than let this drag on.”
“And why the rush to clarify? Could it be that Madam still resents the matter from years ago?”
“My lord and I misunderstood Your Highness for many years and made many mistakes. If Your Highness brings up the past now, I truly feel ashamed beyond words.” Song Lian’s hands twisted together. “My coming today to plead has nothing to do with lingering resentment, nor with holding a grudge against Jingren for siding with Your Highness and nearly causing a rift between father and daughter. I come only as a mother, feeling that my son’s affection is not appropriate, yet unable to bear scolding him too harshly because of his frail health. So I’ve come, foolish as it may be, to beg Your Highness.”
“What’s so inappropriate?” Feng Lezhen asked, genuinely curious.
“Does Your Highness truly not see?” Song Lian looked her directly in the eyes. “Let’s leave everything else aside. What Your Highness seeks to accomplish is the grand matter of changing the world. Now that Jingren has pledged herself to you, once it’s done, the Qi family will not only hold military power, but will also be credited with aiding your rise. That’s already a wealth and honor beyond measure. If Jingqing… Today, Your Highness needs the Qi family and might grant him some dignity. But in the future? What title will you give him? Attending male? That would be improper. Emperor’s consort? Would Your Highness dare?”
Though no woman had ever become emperor in history, in truth, there was no real difference between a woman and a man in that seat. Dynasties rose and fell through the power of the inner palace and the bedchamber. When one truly reached that position, what was love between man and woman worth? In the end, no one could escape being ground beneath the wheels of power. Song Lian had no great ambitions—she didn’t hope for her son to become some important figure. She only wished for him to stay by her and the marquis’s side and live out his life in peace.
The tea in Feng Lezhen’s cup had long gone cold. The woman who had come to pour her tea was now kneeling on the floor, eyes red, staring up at her, with the look of someone who would remain kneeling until death if she didn’t get an answer.
Feng Lezhen had never been a mother. She didn’t know if, one day, should she bear a child, she would also kneel like this for that child’s sake… But thinking about it, probably not. She did admire the greatness of mothers like this, but she had never imagined going to such lengths for anyone—not even her own child.
After a long silence, she set down her teacup.
“Madam, you’re thinking far too far ahead,” Feng Lezhen said with a smile.
Song Lian paused in surprise.
Feng Lezhen leaned back against the chair, relaxed and graceful, her every gesture exuding nobility despite the languid pose. “It’s a pity. I’ve only ever regarded the young shizi as a friend. All the scenarios you’ve envisioned, I’m afraid they simply won’t come to pass.”
It was just at this moment that Qi Jingqing entered. Upon hearing Feng Lezhen’s words, he froze.
Song Lian turned around at the sound of the door, startled when she saw him. “Jingqing?!”
Qi Jingqing had hurried over and was still catching his breath. He stared directly at Feng Lezhen, unable to say a single word.
“If Madam is still uneasy, I can go so far as to stop being even friends with the shizi,” Feng Lezhen met Qi Jingqing’s eyes calmly. “Starting today, I won’t see him again—we’ll become complete strangers.”
Qi Jingqing stood there dazed. The cold air he had swallowed during his rushed journey now turned into countless tiny needles stabbing at his throat, making it ache.
“Jingqing…” Song Lian quickly rose to her feet, patting her lap as if dusting off non-existent dirt in a flustered reflex.
Head lowered, Qi Jingqing slowly walked toward them with the help of his cane. The steady tap of it on the floor sounded like it was knocking directly on the heart.
“Greetings, Your Highness,” he said, bowing.
Feng Lezhen smiled faintly, lips curved.
Qi Jingqing no longer looked at her. He turned to Song Lian and asked, “Mother, what are you doing here?”
Song Lian grew flustered. “Don’t misunderstand, I was only—”
“Come back with me,” Qi Jingqing interrupted gently.
“Jingqing…”
“I beg you,” he laughed softly, as if nothing had happened—but the words that followed seemed soaked in blood. “I feel so ashamed I could die…”
“No, no, don’t talk like that. It’s my fault,” Song Lian panicked upon hearing that word from his lips. She quickly bowed to Feng Lezhen. “I was too forward today. I hope Your Highness can forgive me.”
Feng Lezhen smiled politely.
Song Lian looked between the two of them, then lowered her head and quickly left.
Only Qi Jingqing and Feng Lezhen remained in the room. Qi Jingqing glanced at her, hesitated, and finally said softly, “I’ll take Mother home first, then come back to explain everything to you.”
“There’s no need to come back,” Feng Lezhen said, lifting the cup of cold tea again.
Qi Jingqing paused, as though he hadn’t heard her. “I’ll come this afternoon…”
“I said, there’s no need to come,” Feng Lezhen looked up and met his gaze, her voice calm.
Qi Jingqing was silent for a moment, then forced a small smile. “You’re upset with me, and don’t want to see me for now. Then I’ll just—”
“Jingqing,” Feng Lezhen interrupted him again, “you know I’m not someone who takes my anger out on others.”
So her refusal to see him was not out of anger. It was simply that she didn’t want to see him. Nothing more.
Qi Jingqing trembled. His face turned even paler, like a thin leaf trembling in the spring breeze.
But he didn’t say anything more. With red-rimmed eyes, he turned and left. Feng Lezhen watched his unsteady, solitary back as he walked away, and after a long time, sighed faintly.
