Su Yan suddenly panicked, and when he panicked, he wanted to run. “Your Majesty is busy with state affairs—I wouldn’t dare trouble you further. If there are no other instructions, I shall take my leave—”
But the Emperor didn’t grant him leave. Instead, he stood up, scooped Su Yan into his arms, and placed him on the imperial desk.
“Th-the imperial edict… and the memorials are under me!” Su Yan yelped, scrambling to get off the table.
“Let them be,” the Emperor said as he pressed Su Yan’s upper body down onto the wide desk. The dragon-embroidered sleeves of his ochre robe brushed across, knocking pen holders, ink stones, and paperweights clattering to the ground.
Su Yan’s tailbone bumped painfully against the hard golden nanmu desk edge, his legs hanging uncomfortably in the air. The Emperor hooked Su Yan’s knees over his waist and ordered, “Hook them tightly.”
“Your Majesty! Your Majesty! This really isn’t appropriate—I can’t…” Su Yan flailed in panic, grabbing randomly—only to realize he was clutching a memorial from the cabinet, which he quickly let go of.
He’d dared to smash a chessboard over Yu Wang’s head, but he didn’t dare fling things from the imperial desk at the Emperor—
Even if he dared, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
In the end, he could only clutch tightly at the Emperor’s arm, pleading softly, “It’s broad daylight, and we’re in the Outer Court’s imperial study. If anyone sees this, my reputation is the lesser concern—it would greatly damage Your Majesty’s dignity. Please let me down, I have important matters to discuss…”
The emperor’s arms were braced on the table, one on each side of Su Yan’s shoulders, leaning in and gazing at him intently. Their faces were just inches apart. The emperor’s heavy, warm breath brushed against Su Yan’s cheeks and neck, making him shiver involuntarily, as though all the pores on his body exploded in an electric jolt, bursting out small sparks of tingling numbness.
“Without my order, who dares to approach the imperial study? If you want to discuss official business, we can do it like this.” The emperor picked up a memorial from the corner of the table and shoved it into Su Yan’s hand. “Read this to me.”
Su Yan, a bit dizzy, opened the memorial and glanced through it. He could feel the emperor loosening his belt and quickly pressed his hand down to stop him, trembling as he said, “Your Majesty, don’t—”
“Read.”
Su Yan had no choice. One hand futilely clutching his lapel, the other holding the memorial, he read a few scattered lines and then exclaimed in shock, “It’s an impeachment against me? Saying I have ties to the Hidden Sword Sect, that I staged the prophecy rebellion of the Void Sect, fabricated merits to claim rewards—what utter bullsh*t!”
The emperor gave him a disciplinary slap on the buttocks. Su Yan trembled at the faint, numbing pain and hurriedly said, “Your servant misspoke. I should not have used vulgar language before Your Majesty.”
The emperor tossed another three or four memorials toward him. “All impeaching you.”
Su Yan quickly flipped through them one by one, finding a dazzling variety of accusations: from currying favor and flattery to forming factions and excluding dissenters. One even scolded him for deliberately living in a small house without hiring servants, claiming he was faking frugality to build a reputation.
At first, Su Yan was furious. The more he read, the more absurd it seemed, until he was practically laughing. “These—all this—what absolute cr*p!” He curled his lip in disdain. “Forgive me, Your Majesty, I couldn’t hold back again. I sullied your ears.”
The emperor said, “Actually, I sometimes wish I could curse people like that too, but as an emperor, I must uphold imperial decorum, so I can’t speak so freely.”
Su Yan asked, “Your Majesty is showing me these memorials to urge me to correct my faults if I have them, and encourage me if I don’t?”
The emperor gestured to another stack of documents at the other side of the table. “Look over there.”
Su Yan turned his head and saw a thick pile of memorials, at least a dozen. He was a little shocked. “All scolding me? Seriously… Am I really that annoying?”
The emperor laughed. “No, those are impeachments against the grand ministers, especially the Grand Chancellor Li Chengfeng—he alone accounts for over half of them.”
“Even the Grand Chancellor gets scolded?”
“I get scolded too—how could the grand chancellor not? Since the founding of this dynasty, every chancellor, no matter their achievements or character, has been impeached.”
“…So Your Majesty is trying to tell me, if I’m impeached, I shouldn’t panic. If someone curses me, I can just curse them back, and even more fiercely, stacking up even more serious accusations?”
“Nonsense!” The emperor slapped his butt again in mock anger, though his eyes were smiling. “I’m telling you to simply do what you should do. There’s no need to lose your composure or hesitate just because someone impeaches you. These memorials only matter if I approve them with the word ‘granted.’ Otherwise, they’re just worthless pieces of paper.”
Su Yan was stunned, gazing at the emperor who loomed over him like the sky itself. His cheeks flushed, his breathing quickened. He tossed the memorial in his hand off the table, wrapped both arms around the emperor’s neck, and softly asked in a murmur, “Then what about my memorials? Are they also just worthless paper?”
The emperor cupped the back of Su Yan’s head with his palm, opened a drawer with the other hand, pulled out a thick memorial, and placed it on Su Yan’s chest. “Why don’t you see for yourself?”
Su Yan picked it up and immediately recognized his own handwriting on the cover. It was the memorial he had hurriedly sent from the relay station while serving as Imperial Censor in Shaanxi. Inside, he had secretly written an acrostic, carrying a subtle affection, hoping the emperor would notice.
The edges of the memorial were frayed, clearly from frequent handling. Su Yan saw that the words “Though I am thousands of miles away, my heart is with the Purple Palace, praying for Your Majesty’s good health,” scattered in the black ink across the pages, had been touched so much that the ink had blurred in places. A wave of warmth and emotion surged in his heart.
“You were in Shaanxi for half a year. Whenever I missed you, I would take out this memorial and read it again and again. The way you sat under the lamplight writing, carefully planning the hidden characters, the way you crumpled the pages when you made mistakes, and the way you proudly massaged your sore wrist when you finally finished— I could see it all.”
Tears welled in Su Yan’s eyes. “Your Majesty’s devotion… I am not worthy, not even by a tenth. I feel… deeply ashamed…”
The emperor gave a faint bitter smile. “I don’t want to hear you say ‘ashamed’ again. That word mostly comes from a sense of guilt. When it comes to feelings, whether giving or receiving, it should always be voluntary. I don’t want you to feel like you owe anyone.”
Su Yan felt even more uneasy, choking out, “Your servant…”
The emperor said, “Keep reading.”
Su Yan sniffled and flipped to the last page. From the crease suddenly fell a palm-sized green jade pendant, landing against his half-open chest, sending a wave of coolness through him.
He picked it up and stared—wasn’t this the intricately carved lotus jade pendant he had lost earlier? When he first entered the palace, he had accidentally overheard Emperor Jinglong and Lan Xi’s conversation in the imperial garden and learned the truth behind the farcical palace examination. In his haste to escape, he had lost this pendant. When he went back to search for it, it was nowhere to be found. So, it had been in the emperor’s possession all along… then the emperor must have known he was eavesdropping from the start?
Su Yan was mortified. “So Your Majesty knew from the beginning… When I first entered the palace, I was reckless and brash. Your Majesty was merciful, not only sparing me punishment but also…”
The emperor gave a faint smile, holding both his hand and the jade pendant, his fingers gently tracing the back of Su Yan’s hand. “I even wanted to catch that bold white cat who dared eavesdrop and keep it on my lap to pet.”
Lan Xi had covered for his cousin at the time, claiming it was just a white cat that had run off. The emperor had never pursued the matter or told anyone.
Su Yan’s face flushed red. He instinctively tried to tuck the jade pendant into his robe, but realized at some point his belt had been loosened and was now hanging from the edge of the table. His outer robe and inner garment had both slipped down to his shoulders, completely open. He let out a low cry: “Ah.”
“Last time you asked Zhen for the private seal, didn’t Zhen say then that the return gift had already been received? And now you want to go back on it and take it back?” The Emperor pulled the jade pendant from his hand, tucked it into his dragon robe, and then took off the red cord with the jade seal from around his neck.
Su Yan, without thinking, lunged to grab it, clutching the jade seal and saying: “Your Majesty can’t go back on it either. A gift once given is given—”
“I never meant to take it back.”
“Then Your Majesty means…”
The Emperor leaned down close to Su Yan’s ear, his breath growing heavy, his voice hoarse with desire: “I said I would stamp you with a seal. A ruler’s words are no jest. Beloved minister, where do you think it should be stamped most fittingly?”
Su Yan let go of the seal and instead clutched the Emperor’s shoulders. The golden dragon embroidery of the robe rubbed faintly against his palm, making him burn with restless heat, while inside he felt hollow, yearning to be filled with something fierce, deep, lingering, and tender.
“Your servant… does not know…” he almost whimpered.
The Emperor’s hand slid down from his collarbone: “How about here?”
“Ah!” Su Yan drew a sharp breath, “Your Majesty, don’t—”
“Not suitable?” The Emperor regretfully moved his fingers away, only to continue exploring lower.
The skin of his chest and stomach was smooth and pale as jade; the newly grown muscles were lean and firm, cleanly outlined, carrying the freshness and suppleness between youth and manhood. The Emperor fondled him with fascination, as if playing with a most precious piece of jade, savoring each faint tremor under his touch, stirred by surging passion.
Su Yan felt like a lump of wax, about to be crushed or melted. It was hard to describe—the panic of being utterly controlled mixed with the urge to surrender himself. When the Emperor caressed the shallow dimples at his waist, he let out a sobbing plea for mercy.
“Not suitable here either?” The Emperor, breathing unevenly, went to untie his belt. Su Yan suddenly seized his hand, head thrown back, his tear-filled eyes like a deer caught in a snare, helplessly staring at the hunter closing in.
That look nearly softened the Emperor into letting go, but the next moment an even stronger wave of desire overwhelmed everything. Its force was so great that not even the ruler of the world could resist.
The trousers slipped down to his knees, half hanging at his ankles. Su Yan clamped his legs together in shame.
Touching the inside of his thigh, the Emperor gasped: “I think this spot is just right. What does My beloved minister think?”
Su Yan lay with his official robe beneath him, with only his arms and lower legs still covered. Shame and desire tangled, leaving him unable to answer.
Taking his silence as assent, the Emperor dipped the jade seal into vermilion ink from the overturned inkstone on the desk and stamped down the two crimson characters “Jin Tang.”
Su Yan felt a coldness at the root of his thigh and cried out: “Your Majesty!”
The Emperor pressed on his thigh to keep the fresh mark from smudging, his movements gentle yet his intent forceful: “I give Zhen’s name to you alone. Should anyone else see it, it would be a capital crime of grave disrespect.”
Su Yan sobered at once and frowned: “What does Your Majesty mean by this?”
“My beloved minister is clever as ice and snow; I needn’t explain. Just be careful when bathing, don’t wash the mark off. In a few days I will check. If the two characters are gone, you will be punished.”
This… was not just a collector’s seal, it was a chastity mark! Su Yan grew angry and struggled to get off the imperial desk.
In struggling he turned over onto his stomach. The Emperor caught both his wrists in one hand and pressed them to his lower back, leaving red welts on his skin.
Su Yan’s cheek pressed to the desk, and he felt wronged to the point of tears: “How can Your Majesty treat me like this… I am not one of your paintings!”
The Emperor knew he was upset, but thought if he didn’t bind him firmly now, there would only be more green hats on his head in the future. His voice cooled: “If you truly were a painting, I would lock you inside the palace. I have already given you enough freedom. All I ask is a little loyalty in return—can you not even manage that?”
Su Yan retorted angrily: “And can Your Majesty be loyal to me? With a harem full of beauties, have I ever asked you not to go to them? Never, because I know it is your duty as Emperor. Even when Your Majesty has been staying every night in Yongning Palace lately, I have uttered not a word of complaint. Since even you cannot keep loyalty, how can you ask it of me?”
The Emperor paused, then gave a short laugh: “Qinghe is jealous?”
“I am not!” Su Yan answered stiffly.
Unable to help himself, the Emperor lowered his head to kiss the bare skin of his shoulder and neck, soft and lingering as spring rain. Su Yan twisted unwillingly, but in the end did not resist too hard. The Emperor took his earlobe into his mouth and whispered: “I have not touched Lady Wei.”
“…What did Your Majesty say?”
“I said, though it’s true I stayed in Yongning Palace, I did not touch her.”
Not favored, yet deliberately putting on the appearance that Consort Wei was restored—clearly the Emperor had another purpose… Just as Su Yan began to ponder it, his buttocks received several smacks, turning the pale mounds flushed like ripe peaches. He bit his hand to stifle his moans, unsure if from pain or pleasure.
“My beloved minister so distracted—does that mean Zhen’s seal was stamped in the wrong place?”
Dazed, he felt as if the jade seal were a cavalry ready to charge in. Frightened, Su Yan cried out: “I’ll focus! I swear I won’t drift off again, Your Majesty, spare me—”
Seeing him so scared, the Emperor found him unbearably endearing.
“All right, all right, no more scaring you.” He rubbed the red marks on Su Yan’s wrists, then lifted him into his lap, making him straddle him as they fell back into the broad imperial chair.
Su Yan tried to rise, but the Emperor held his waist and pressed him down.
They wrestled in silence, then kissed deeply, breathless, dragon robe and crimson official robe tangled together, glimpses of thigh or arm flashing amid the fabric, like snow glowing in fierce flames.
Outside the hall faint noises rose, someone calling shrilly. Inside, neither spared it a thought.
A sharper voice rang through the hall doors—it was Lan Xi’s high-pitched cry: “Your Majesty! The Empress Dowager has arrived, Her Majesty’s sedan is already in the courtyard—”
【Small Theatre】
Xiaobei & Xiaojing: The hot water’s ready, but the lord’s already half undressed and still won’t bathe. What’s he rummaging around for?
Su Yan: Looking for tape—uh, that doesn’t exist in this era. Fine, oil paper then—but it doesn’t stick! Ahhh, what on earth can wrap it up and still prevent leakage? I’m going crazy!
Jinggong Zhui: Wrap up… prevent leakage… My lord, are you looking for this to use with me? (blushing)
Shen Qi: It’s fine, if you get pregnant, just give birth. I’ll take responsibility.
Yu Wang: You should’ve asked me. I know all about this stuff. Use sheep intestines to make it. Come, I’ll measure it to fit you.
Crown Prince: What are they talking about?
Su Yan: Children shouldn’t ask too much. Don’t learn from their dirty minds.
Years later, when the tribute of rubber from Jiaozhi arrived, after Su Yan processed it, the new emperor came up with many new uses for it.
