The Sickly Beauty Gives Up Struggling [Rebirth] Chapter 200

Cen Xiao really kept his word and sent Li Rong into the Hongsuo Research Institute.

But this incident caused an uproar in Blue Pivot.

There were those who watched with schadenfreude, those who worried, and those who were furious. Because of their differing positions, everyone’s reactions were distinct. Yet ultimately, they all thought Cen Xiao had gone mad.

Only a madman would involve himself in the mess of the Li family.

Cen Xiao had always known that helping Li Rong would mean enduring immense pressure and facing enemies in the shadows whose power was unknown.

But he still did it. If he had been just a bit more rational, perhaps he would have given up on Li Rong.

Cen Qing was among the furious ones. He couldn’t just slap Cen Xiao anymore, but he still pointed at Cen Xiao’s nose and cursed angrily: “You b*stard! Are you trying to drag the entire Cen and Xiao families down with you? No one dares touch the Li family’s mess—why did you jump in?!”

Cen Xiao, calm and composed, flicked open his lighter, lit a cigarette, and took a slow drag. “Then tell me, who’s responsible for what happened with the Li family?”

He had picked up the habit of smoking as a child. Back then, it was an immature form of rebellion, a way to seek his parents’ attention. Later, it became a habit that was hard to quit.

But now that Li Rong disliked smoking, Cen Xiao had cut back significantly. He only smoked during moments of immense stress.

Cen Qing sneered. “Don’t tell me you don’t know how deep the waters run with the Luyinxu incident.”

Cen Xiao replied indifferently, “How deep is it? Deep enough for District Nine to turn a blind eye and for Hongsuo to not dare interfere?”

Cen Qing narrowed his eyes. “Cen Xiao, do you think you’re so amazing now that you’ve sidelined me? That you can meddle in everything? Aren’t you afraid that one day you’ll drown in those same waters?”

“I don’t want to meddle in troublesome matters either.” Cen Xiao exhaled a plume of smoke and snuffed the half-burned cigarette out in the ashtray. Then he stood up. “But to obtain something precious, sacrifices must be made.”

Unfortunately, he hadn’t completely obtained that precious thing.

Li Rong lived with him, made love with him, ate with him, and breathed the same air as him. Yet Cen Xiao realized that Li Rong had completely shut off his emotions.

In Li Rong’s mind, their relationship was simple: give and take.

Li Rong had turned himself into a rapidly functioning, energy-consuming machine, pouring all his focus and energy into his work at Hongsuo Research Institute. Every time he returned home, he was like a numb doll. Only when Cen Xiao provoked him would Li Rong show the emotions of a living person.

This wasn’t normal, but Cen Xiao didn’t know what to do.

The harder he tried to get Li Rong to feel, the more abnormal Li Rong became. By the end, Cen Xiao wasn’t sure which of them was sicker.

Still, he comforted himself. None of that mattered. As long as Li Rong was alive, it was enough.

As long as Li Rong could appear before him on time, eat, drink, breathe, have a heartbeat, and blink, it was enough.

Cen Xiao knew deep down that the Hongsuo Research Institute wasn’t safe. Ever since something had happened to Li Qingli and Gu Nong, Hongsuo’s reaction had been disturbingly strange.

Sending Li Rong into Hongsuo was like sending him back into the tiger’s den. Those who had been involved in the incident years ago would undoubtedly target Li Rong again.

Cen Xiao didn’t really care if Li Rong could optimize the Luyinxu system. But he couldn’t stop Li Rong from going because that work was the spiritual pillar keeping him alive.

Thus, Cen Xiao had to be even more cautious, more stringent—keeping Li Rong firmly within his grasp.

Yet in the fiercely opposing environment between Blue Pivot and Hongsuo, Cen Xiao couldn’t afford to be too overt. He couldn’t even show how much he cared for or loved Li Rong. Otherwise, Blue Pivot would no longer be a shield protecting Li Rong but a blade stabbing him instead.

Cen Xiao hadn’t expected that, on that night, he would see Li Rong calmly cutting his own arm.

For a brief second, his mind went blank, but he quickly realized that Li Rong wasn’t trying to kill himself—the location of the cut, no matter how deep, wouldn’t have caused him to die quickly.

What truly shocked Cen Xiao was how Li Rong seemed utterly devoid of any emotional fluctuation while hurting himself.

That was the first time Cen Xiao considered opening up his protective walls, giving Li Rong some breathing room.

He had no choice but to retreat—he simply had no other way.

Though he was learning slowly, he was still trying to learn how to coexist with this version of Li Rong.

Cen Xiao bought back the Li family’s old house and handed the keys to Li Rong. On Li Rong’s birthday, he insisted on sending him there.

He made a promise: as long as Li Rong hid in that house, Cen Xiao wouldn’t go looking for him.

Li Rong showed little reaction to his former home, but he was surprised by Cen Xiao’s promise.

So, Li Rong didn’t argue. For a brief period, they maintained a fragile peace.

Li Rong took this opportunity to move into the laboratory, where he buried himself in work with even greater intensity, deliberately avoiding any thoughts of Cen Xiao’s change in behavior.

He could feel Cen Xiao’s complicated love for him, but he had no intention of probing deeper into Cen Xiao’s heart—he didn’t have the time.

To be fair, in the time he spent with Cen Xiao, he had indeed learned many survival skills that could never be taught in school or textbooks, and he had glimpsed another side of the world.

Once, he couldn’t even hold a real gun. The first time he aimed a gun at Cen Xiao, his wrist trembled uncontrollably. Now, he could load the gun with an expressionless face and expertly aim it at someone’s life.

Of course, this wasn’t something Cen Xiao had taught him. Instead, Li Rong had trained at shooting ranges, studied combat techniques, and read many books on psychology and related subjects.

All of this was knowledge Li Rong had acquired to resist Cen Xiao. Under high-pressure circumstances, one’s ability to learn becomes truly remarkable.

Unfortunately, their brief period of peace didn’t last. Their secrets were discovered by Xiao Muran and Cen Qing.

Cen Xiao fought bitterly with his family while Li Rong watched the commotion with cold indifference.

At that time, Li Rong didn’t yet know about Xiao Muran’s feelings for Li Qingli.

In the Cen family villa, Xiao Muran—still weak from a recent illness—leaned against the sofa. Her face was pale as she questioned Cen Xiao in a voice full of disappointment: “How could you do something like this, Cen Xiao?!”

Seeing Xiao Muran clutch her chest with a heartbroken expression, Cen Xiao was reminded of how she always grieved for Li Qingli. He couldn’t resist replying with cold mockery: “I forced him, of course, to get back at you for never forgetting Li Qingli.”

“Cen Xiao!” Xiao Muran’s gaze trembled, and tears welled up in her eyes, like ripples shattering on a lake’s surface. Overwhelmed, she gasped for breath. “The Li family has already fallen this far. Why must you harm his only son?!”

“His only son.” Cen Xiao sneered, his gaze turning icy. “But I must say, his son is indeed beautiful—and quite tasty too. You do have good taste.”

Xiao Muran’s teeth chattered as she accidentally bit her lip, blood seeping from the corner of her mouth. She looked at Cen Xiao with terror and alienation in her eyes: “Why have you become so frightening? How did you turn into something so terrifying?!”

After saying this, Xiao Muran clutched her head and collapsed in pain.

“Ma’am, please don’t get upset!” The housekeeper rushed over, holding Xiao Muran and touching her forehead, then helplessly glanced at Cen Xiao.

Suddenly, Cen Xiao felt the entire situation had become dull and pointless. His mother was simply too fragile. Even her resistance was repetitive, her words unimaginative, as if all his provocations landed uselessly on soft cotton.

Watching the housekeeper help Xiao Muran away, Cen Xiao left the house with a heavy heart.

He hadn’t meant the things he said. Countless times, he’d weighed his feelings for Li Rong, trying to determine whether they stemmed more from the influence of his dysfunctional family or from his deepest desires.

Once, the balance had been stable. But now, he had to admit—it had tipped. From the moment he made his first compromise, the scales had leaned irrevocably in one direction.

He didn’t know when the side of him driven by hatred would be completely erased, but he believed that day would eventually come.

He was destined to fall for Li Rong.

After this argument, Xiao Muran fell ill again.

Her condition was severe; she was hospitalized and was not recovering well.

This time, Cen Xiao, as her family member, was summoned to the hospital by the attending doctor.

However, what he hadn’t expected was that, in addition to the surgeon, there was also a psychiatrist present.

The psychiatrist looked at Cen Xiao gravely, took a deep breath, and said, “Hello. I’ve been informed that your mother’s current illness is related to you, so I’d like to have a conversation with you.”

Cen Xiao frowned. “Isn’t it just a cold and fever?”

The psychiatrist replied, “Yes, it is.

It started as a cold and fever, which has now turned into early-stage pneumonia. But that’s the physical illness. What I want to discuss is Mrs. Xiao’s mental health.”

Cen Xiao said, “I thought she had already recovered from that.”

The doctor gave a faint smile. “You’ve probably never fully understood this illness. While it can be cured, it’s also very difficult to cure completely. Many people experience a relapse after recovery because their living environment hasn’t changed at all, and the pressures they face remain the same. Medication can stabilize emotions and suppress negative thoughts, but it also takes a toll on the body. If Mrs. Xiao continues like this, I fear…”

Cen Xiao remained silent.

The doctor continued, “You might think Mrs. Xiao often acts unreasonably. But that’s how it is for people with this illness. They know they shouldn’t lose their temper or break down, but they can’t control it. A healthy person can never truly understand the feeling—it’s as if the entire world has isolated you, leaving you with no way out.”

Cen Xiao glanced at the surgeon, who sensibly stepped out and closed the door behind him.

The psychiatrist resumed, “While it involves patient confidentiality and I shouldn’t say much, you likely already know the source of Mrs. Xiao’s symptoms—a lost relationship.”

Cen Xiao nodded, as he did know.

The doctor said, “Mrs. Xiao has a deep sense of guilt. She believes she was at fault in that relationship and that she hurt someone. Her inherently gentle personality makes her prone to being consumed by guilt. Recently, your conflicts with her seem to have triggered those emotions again, leading to her relapse.”

“I had previously made considerable progress in helping her find new interests and redirecting her energy, and her recovery was going well. But after that person’s tragic death, the treatment hit a bottleneck. She watched them die miserably and realized she could never make amends, turning it into an unshakable emotional knot.”

“Mr. Cen, I understand you have many grievances against Mrs. Xiao, but perhaps you could refrain from transferring those feelings onto an innocent person and help reduce Mrs. Xiao’s guilt. As the saying goes, ‘At first, you don’t understand the meaning of the song, but later, you find yourself within it.’ Hurting others will never bring you true happiness.”

Cen Xiao understood all the grand principles of life, but stepping out of his own emotions was incredibly difficult—especially emotions he had held onto for more than a decade.

He harbored resentment toward Xiao Muran and Cen Qing, but he genuinely wished for their health.

He had been domineering and possessive toward Li Rong, but he didn’t want to see Li Rong cutting his arms again.

For a long time, he struggled—one month, two months, three months…

Finally, one day, he thought, though his birth had not been blessed, he couldn’t stay trapped in the shadow of his original family forever.

He wasn’t a coward; he had to move forward.

He didn’t want to hurt Li Rong. Deep down, he actually wanted to love him.

That day was bright and sunny, and his mood was unusually good. He thought about inviting Li Rong to have breakfast together, but Li Rong brushed past him with his usual cold demeanor, shutting the door behind him.

Cen Xiao felt a moment of frustration but quickly recovered.

He simply didn’t know how to express himself yet. But he could learn—he could change their relationship.

The future was long, and they were still young. He could learn, bit by bit, how to love someone.

But just a few hours later, he received the news of Li Rong’s death.

For more than twenty years, he had wrestled with his inner demons. He had finally mustered the courage to let them go. He had finally decided to give his all to love him—only for them to take Li Rong away.

He no longer had the chance.

At first, you don’t understand the meaning of the song, but later, you find yourself within it.

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