Chapter 141
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The terrifying system prompt, like a nightmare, filled Xue Yao with fear. However, the exhaustion from two sleepless nights kept him in a half-asleep state, unable to fully wake up, only whimpering and trembling.
At this moment, the villain’s arm took advantage of the opportunity, swiftly lifting Xue Yao from the lower back and pulling him close.
Xue Yao, like a magnet, found himself irresistibly drawn into Lu Qian’s arms, providing a solid hug that immediately dispelled the fear and unease.
Xue Yao abruptly moved from the soft pillow to the young man’s rigid chest. Dissatisfied with the firm touch on his cheek, he instinctively shifted, seaeching for a softer spot to lean on.
Naturally, it couldn’t be found.
“Your grandpa will eat a bit more to become soft and supple in the future. Is that good?” Lu Qian’s low, hoarse voice sounded enchanting above.
The young man apologized for the less-than-comfortable feel of his touch, hoping that Xue Yao would grant him the chance to depend on each other in the future.
In a half-asleep state, where one would lose much of their self-control, all reactions were instinctively driven. Xue Yao, with half of his face against Lu Qian’s chest, felt an intense warmth, and the waist held tightly began to tingle. Lu Qian’s voice, unusually seductive, proved irresistible, prompting a soft “hmm” from Xue Yao.
Lu Qian’s fluttering heart immediately revealed to Xue Yao how satisfied he was with that “hmm.” If Xue Yao were fully awake at this moment, he would notice a certain part of Lu Qian becoming more noticeably “satisfied.”
Xue Yao was entirely responsible for such a reaction.
He should bear the unruliness caused by Lu Qian’s unexpected excitement. Even if it was just a more intimate contact, it could also make Lu Qian feel a little more comfortable. Xue Yao, who had never let himself wake up completely, actually condoned the occurrence of that unruliness in his subconscious.
But Lu Qian didn’t do anything.
He didn’t even lift Xue Yao’s inner clothes. Throughout the night, they were only separated by thin fabric, maintaining the demeanor of a chivalrous knight, guarding the little squire in his arms.
A man unrestrained by societal norms, transcending the restraint of ordinary men for the sake of love. Even someone with a heart of stone would soften, not to mention Xue Yao, who already had a tender heart.
However, when Xue Yao woke up the next morning, his profile obediently rested on the pillow, but the young man from the half-dream was nowhere to be found.
A profound sense of shame and self-blame instantly woke him up.
If Lu Qian hadn’t left early, it would mean Xue Yao had a dream he couldn’t bear last night.
What was he thinking?
Every memory from last night allowed the other Xue Yao hidden inside him to surface without restraint.
Finally acknowledging the reality of their relationship, this whirlwind of emotions didn’t belong to Lu Qian alone. He was deeply entangled in it as well.
He wasn’t even sure if the 70+% progress in calming Lu Qian to sleep was something he imagined.
Xue Yao felt extremely embarrassed, considering himself irrational. He sat on the bed, lost in continuous recollection.
In the haze between dream and wakefulness, were those memories real or fabricated? Xue Yao naively searched for traces of that person in bed.
Hearing someone gently lift the bead curtain and enter the bedroom, he immediately anxiously lay down, pretending he hadn’t fully woken up.
When he heard the approaching small steps, a sense of disappointment washed over him.
Just by the footsteps, he knew it wasn’t Lu Qian.
Only then did he realize he could distinguish the weight and urgency of Lu Qian’s footsteps.
Xue Yao opened his eyes. The person was a eunuch from the palace.
“Is the young master awake?” the eunuch asked in whisper. “This servant has called someone to assist the young master with washing up.”
Xue Yao pretended to yawn as if just waking up and lazily asked, “Has His Highness already awakened?”
What he really wanted to ask was if His Highness woken up from this room.
“Yes, His Highness rose early and has already gone to the study hall.”
“What?” Xue Yao frowned. “Why did he leave so early?”
Especially, why didn’t he wait for him to go together?
“It’s already past the second quarter of the hour of the Snake.” The young eunuch chuckled. “His Highness rose as usual at the hour of the Dragon. You were sleeping so soundly today, so he instructed this servant to check if you were awake by the third quarter of the hour of the Snake. We are not allowed to disturb you.”
Every worry since waking up was instantly swept away by this statement.
He almost laughed. Finally, the lazy look of someone just waking up appeared. His voice was hoarse as he grumbled, “Why didn’t you wake me up? He…”
Did he spend the night here?
The questions he really wanted to ask were awkward to voice.
There was no need to conceal this question. He and Lu Qian had grown up together and had slept in the same room more than once.
But human nature was like that. When they were innocent, they wouldn’t think twice about being intimate. But when they were hiding something, even the most innocent actions could take on an air of ambiguity.
But what was he expecting?
If he were Zhou Chong’s granddaughter, it would be understandable to act coy at this moment. In the current situation, why act coy? What was he hoping for?
Was he hoping to become the most favored but clandestine male consort in the future harem of Long Aotian?
Xue Yao’s lips curved into a subtle smile, but he was abruptly chilled by a splash of cold water.
He shook his hands as he reached for his clothes.
The eunuch immediately turned to call someone in to assist, but Xue Yao insisted he didn’t need it.
After freshening up, without taking a meal, he left the palace, instructing other attendants to serve Lu Qian in the study and excusing himself from his duties.
He felt he had to stay beyond a certain distance from Lu Qian to regain clarity.
He needed to step outside of the whole situation to understand where he went wrong and how he could develop such thoughts towards the boy he watched grow up.
Why did his mind become so muddled in front of Lu Qian?
He pondered this question all the way.
His memories of Lu Qian were now infused with a hormonal atmosphere. The childhood innocence was gone. In his memories, Lu Qian was the one playing chess against three opponents, creating a dazzling scene.
That guy, with a glance or a lift of his eyes, was like a little hormonal bomb, a born heartthrob.
It was at this moment that Xue Yao realized how he had gradually twisted himself into a knot.
Having been a single dog for two lifetimes, Xue Yao found himself defeated by a seemingly insignificant boy. Every cell in his body screamed, “I refuse to accept this.”
As Xue Yao was not seen in the morning, Lu Xiao took early leave, heading to Mother Consort’s palace to deliver medicinal herbs. This way, when the eunuchs served lunch, he could mix the medicine into the soup.
He felt self-reproach for persistently “saving” Mother Consort and pretended in his mind that he was doing this for Xue Yao.
After instructing the eunuchs, he left the palace briskly, as if he had committed a misdeed.
Passing by the side hall, Lu Xiao caught a glimpse of Mother Consort sitting by the window as usual, gazing blankly at the palace doors.
Father Emperor had left, leaving Mother Consort in this perpetual posture of waiting.
From his earliest memories, perhaps Mother Consort had simply grown accustomed to this stance and location, not truly expecting anything.
Because if Mother Consort anticipated Father Emperor’s arrival, she would have meticulously groomed herself. However, she had stopped maintaining her appearance ten years ago. She had truly grown accustomed to the posture of waiting.
Yet, every time he saw her sitting there with an empty expression, Lu Xiao couldn’t help but anxiously anticipate that the announcement of Father Emperor’s arrival would come at any moment.
While passing by the side hall, there was a fleeting connection between Lu Xiao’s peripheral vision and Mother Consort’s vacant gaze.
Mother Consort didn’t disdainfully avert her gaze, giving Lu Xiao a glimmer of hope. He instinctively turned, flashing Mother Consort a pleading look like a dog.
The Noble Consort Dowager seemed to awaken suddenly, realizing her son was standing nearby, looking at her with an expectant gaze.
She immediately stood up, leaving the window, presenting her son with the familiar rejecting silhouette, as she had countless times before, to prevent him from offering his respects.
Lu Xiao’s eyes welled up with tears.
He wanted to slap himself hard, questioning why he had demeaned himself for over a decade and still hadn’t learned his lesson.
However, he remained silent, simply passing by the window with the same indifferent expression as Mother Consort.
But he knew his retaliation was too late. Mother Consort wouldn’t spare him a glance. The last image he left her with was that of a dog continuously kicked and yet still begging for mercy.
You deserved Father Emperor’s neglect.
Lu Xiao shivered, mocking fiercely in his mind.
“Ahem… Ahem!”
After he passed the window, the side hall echoed with Mother Consort’s cough, like the rustle of dry leaves. His feet felt rooted to the ground.
He stood there for a long time.
Lu Xiao turned around, stepped into the side hall, facing Mother Consort’s resistant and disdainful gaze. He shamelessly approached her, futilely attempting to maintain his dignity, and coldly inquired, “Has the Noble Consort Dowager caught a chill? Why not summon the imperial physician to check on you?”
Knowing this awkward exchange was inevitable, the Noble Consort Dowager sat back at her accustomed window with an expressionless face, staring blankly at the same spot. “I am perfectly well, no need for Your Highness to worry.”
Lu Xiao’s gaze suddenly drifted away.
In this frank gaze, he realized Mother Consort had grown thinner than before.
Seeing he didn’t leave, the Noble Consort Dowager turned her head to face her son. “What wind brings Your Highness here today?”
Lu Xiao looked at her expressionlessly. “I brought some herbs to soothe Mother Consort’s liver and relieve stress.”
Her frailty prompted him to unilaterally reconcile with her.
Lu Xiao once again, disregarding his dignity, wagged his tail by her feet, waiting for Mother Consort’s foot to come down harshly at any moment.
Somewhat consoling was the realization that Mother Consort wasn’t only heartless towards him. She had treated Third Brother the same way in the past.
Lu Xiao heard that before his birth, Third Brother was raised by Mother Consort.
The old nanny said Mother Consort used to be an indulgent mother. Lu Xiao repeatedly questioned the old nanny about how Mother Consort spoiled Third Brother. Meanwhile, he quietly replaced the third brother in the stories with himself, all the while harboring jealousy towards his third brother.
He deceived himself, thinking that if he had been born a few years earlier, he would have enjoyed a few years of genuine motherly love.
However, ever since his mother’s drastic change in personality, Third Brother’s attempts to visit were met with Mother Consort’s indifferent rejection, leaving him disheartened each time.
Probably to preserve the cherished memories of their childhood, Third Brother, citing Consort Tong’s prohibition, never visited Mother Consort again.
Yet, before Third Brother’s suicide, the final request wasn’t to meet his birth mother but to see the Noble Consort.
This made Lu Xiao realize that Third Brother, like himself, had never truly let go.
No one knew what his Mother Consort said to Third Brother in the end. Could it have softened her, making her gentle like she was in her youth?
“You don’t need to bring herbs to my palace in the future,” the Noble Consort Dowager spoke with a numb expression.
Lu Xiao didn’t respond. He remained silent for a while, then suddenly asked in a soft voice, “Do you hate me? Do you regret giving birth to me?”
The Noble Consort Dowager, with a numb expression, slowly turned her eyes, displaying a puzzled look at her son. “What kind of talk is this?”
Lu Xiao chuckled bitterly. “Nanny Huifang said that to conceive me, you immersed yourself in medicinal baths almost every day, never stopping acupuncture. Did you genuinely hope for my birth back then?”
The Noble Consort Dowager showed a surprised expression, but quickly became numb again, turning her gaze outside as if refusing to engage.
She was always like this.
Lu Xiao was used to it and didn’t want to wait foolishly. He nodded politely, ready to take his leave.
As he turned around, he heard Mother Consort’s voice.
“You are the only value that justifies the existence of this wretched life of mine. Regret? If it weren’t for you, I would regret being born into this world.”
Lu Xiao was flooded with tears in an instant. He turned abruptly, staring in shock at the emaciated and numb woman by the window.
“Then… why… why do you hate me so much?”
The Noble Consort Dowager turned to look at him, her eyes filled with innocent confusion like a child. “Who said I hate you?”
“You don’t even want to see me!”
Silence.
The Noble Consort Dowager blinked, whispering as if from another world, “I don’t want to see anyone. I wish you all would forget about this useless person. I ruined Old Third, and the late Emperor thought I did it intentionally, deemed me extremely malicious. How am I worthy of having a child like you? If you stay with me for too long, you’ll also go astray.”
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