Chapter 142
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“Go astray?” Tears rolled down Lu Xiao’s cheeks, gathering into pearls at the tip of his chin. “Are you ignoring me because you’re afraid I’ll go astray? If that’s the case, at least every now and then, ask me a few questions to see if I meet your expectations. Ignoring, not asking, not responding…” His eyes narrowed, suddenly roaring, “Is this the carefully considered teaching method you’ve chosen for me!”
The Noble Consort Dowager lowered her head like a child who had made a mistake, slightly hunching her chest. “I’m sorry.”
She gave up all pretense of being cautious, knowing that whatever she did was wrong.
“I don’t want apologies,” Lu Xiao grinned, his voice husky as a whisper. “I want Mother Consort… not to detest me so much. I just want to stay by your side, is it not allowed to be silent? Why must the nanny take me elsewhere? I’ve tried to shrink myself as much as possible, and you make me feel like even my breathing is repulsive to you.”
“I’m sorry.” The Noble Consort Dowager displayed a look of rejection again, signaling her need for solitude.
The sorrow on her son’s face made her feel like she was about to suffocate.
If she had simply thrown herself down a well in the earlier years, it might have been better. However, at that time, she was afraid of causing trouble for her son. Being a useless person like her, all she could do was avoid causing trouble for others. Even in that aspect, she couldn’t do well. She could only escape.
Lu Xiao closed his eyes in despair, took a moment to breathe, opened his eyes, and asked as calmly as possible, “I heard that Mother Consort used to chase after Third Brother while playing cuju, fanning and wiping sweat for him. How did she chase him? Third Brother ran so fast, didn’t Mother Consort feel tired? Can you also chase after me and fan me, just like nanny said? Give me applause and cheers too.”
The Noble Consort Dowager raised her head at the words, looking at her son with a puzzled expression. “It’s the first time you’re asking Mother Consort to do something for you.”
Lu Xiao pursed his lips, smiling wryly as he nodded. “Can I?”
The Noble Consort Dowager didn’t answer. Rarely, she revealed an inquisitive look to her son. “I thought you were different from Old Third.”
“Different?” Lu Xiao self-mockingly laughed. “Mother Consort would notice that I’m different? Sometimes, I worry that if I meet Mother Consort outside the hall, she probably wouldn’t recognize me.”
The Noble Consort Dowager turned to gaze out of the window for a moment before refocusing, as if suddenly realizing her son was beside her.
Slowly recalling the recent events, she wore a numb expression and murmured, “Old Third, as long as he’s happy, as long as his needs are met, he’s content. Xiao’er, you’re different. You always want to make me happy. Just surviving is exhausting for me, and you always try to get me to do something. Since you were little, you’ve been lively around me, but I’m always absent-minded. When I come to my senses, I find your entire face filled with disappointment. I’m so afraid, so tired, unable to do anything well. Can’t you consider me as good as dead?”
“Why is it so tiring?” Lu Xiao stepped forward, gripping the Noble Consort Dowager’s frail shoulders, frowning. “Is Father Emperor so important to you? If he doesn’t come, I can still amuse you!”
The Noble Consort Dowager looked up at her son in confusion. “Your Father Emperor? He… he’s not important anymore. I used to think he was, thought everything would be fine when he returned. But after he came back a few times, I realized he couldn’t save me. I don’t want to see him. He made me feel uncomfortable, but that has nothing to do with you.”
Suddenly, she reached out to touch her son’s cheek, her eyes showing a rare sense of fear. “Heavens, why do you want to take responsibility for all of this? Why… why are you so much like me? Please don’t… don’t become like me…”
Lu Xiao’s eyes lit up in a moment of revelation, as if, at that instant, some unspoken understanding had illuminated the path to his mother’s heart.
Nearly two decades of estrangement, due to a shared trait in their bloodline, brought the mother and son closer than they had ever been.
Lu Xiao slowly knelt on one knee before the Noble Consort Dowager, looking up at her with solemnity. “I am your biological son, so I naturally resemble you. Just like you, I am willing to take on responsibilities. If Mother Consort is tired, let me bear the burden and be a useful person.”
•••
After returning home, Xue Yao paced alone in the backyard.
His head was aching. The subconscious release from last night thoroughly wrapped his feelings for Lu Qian in a hormonal embrace.
Trying to recall Lu Qian’s chubby image to resist the occasional acceleration of his heartbeat, but in his memories, the little bunny was even swaggering, sword in hand, sipping milk, looking so handsome it made people weak-kneed.
Xue Yao could only take a different approach. He started to recall various misdeeds of Lu Qian’s biological father, forcibly attributing all faults to Lu Qian, concluding that this kid would also become a heartless and flirtatious playboy.
In the evening, someone came to see Xue Yao, reportedly accompanied by a eunuch-like servant.
Since the gatekeeper didn’t recognize them, Xue Yao guessed it might be the warm baby coming to find him. He hurried to the front hall to welcome them, only to find it was Lu Jinan.
“Prince Rui?” Xue Yao quickly stepped forward to bow. “If there’s something, you could have had someone inform me to go to the royal residence. No need for you to come in person. Please, have a seat!”
Lu Jinan smiled. “I happened to be passing by, just came to say hello to you. I’ve already handled the matter with the blessing practitioner, so you don’t need to worry.”
Xue Yao quickly nodded in gratitude.
“Why did Seventh Brother release you from the palace so early today?” Lu Jinan noticed Xue Yao’s uneasy expression and asked with concern, “Is something wrong with your health?”
“Just had trouble sleeping the past couple of days. I asked for leave today to rest at home. Many thanks for Your Highness’ concern.” Xue Yao bowed in response.
Lu Jinan nodded. “Why do you become so formal when facing me alone? Every time Seventh Brother stands by your side, you seem like a different person. You’re quite good at using his influence. Today, without Seventh Brother backing you up, should I take the opportunity to settle the score with you?”
Xue Yao looked up in embarrassment, about to explain, when he saw Lu Jinan revealing a mischievous triumphant smile.
“It seems you’re really afraid of me.” Lu Jinan found Xue Yao quite amusing.
In the court and beyond, most officials and eunuchs were afraid of Prince Ning because of his unpredictable temperament.
Lu Jinan, known for his broad-minded and rational nature, found it strange that Xue Yao, who usually showed utmost respect, became unrestrained in the presence of his Seventh Brother, almost domineering.
What was even stranger was that his usually impatient Seventh Brother seemed to indulge Xue Yao.
Xue Yao didn’t see anything inappropriate in treating the Seventh Prince differently. The chubby cub was his own. “I respect Your Highness and always observe proper etiquette.”
“Then you don’t respect Seventh Brother?” Lu Jinan casually turned his head to look around, intending to appreciate the calligraphy and paintings hanging on the walls of Xue Yao’s residence. However, his attention was drawn to a set of bow and arrows placed in the corner of the east side.
Lu Jinan quickly walked over, raised his hand to take down the horn bow, and checked the inscription carved in the center of the bow’s inner wall. Sure enough, it was engraved with Lu Jinan’s courtesy name.
“This bow…” Lu Jinan looked at Xue Yao with a puzzled expression.
“Ah! This bow is indeed the horn bow you gave me before. It has lacked maintenance in recent days…” Xue Yao thought to himself, “It’s over! The gift that the Crown Prince gave me back then has turned discolored from accumulating dust!”
“I gave this to you?” Lu Jinan showed a surprised expression, lowered his head to scrutinize the bow and arrows, carefully recalling for a moment. Finally, he remembered.
“Isn’t this bow the one Old Seventh snatched from my tent during the autumn hunt a few years ago? How did it become a gift from me to you?”
Xue Yao was initially confused, and his mind quickly searched for memories related to this bow.
Many years ago, in the hunting ground under the moonlight by the bonfire, Xue Yao chatted with a group of princes, mentioning that he lacked a horn bow. The next day, when he woke up, a young eunuch delivered a bow, saying it was “from His Highness.”
At that time, Xue Yao didn’t know which “Highness” it was, suspecting the Crown Prince, Fifth Prince, and Sixth Prince, but he never thought…
Lu Jinan looked at Xue Yao’s face with a puzzled expression. “Why are your eyes so red? If the bow is a gift for you, it’s yours. I won’t take it back. Don’t get upset.”
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