What was I Thinking when I Ditch the Second Male Protagonist Chapter 120

Chapter 120

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This resolute voice was filled with stubbornness, yet Han Jiao sensed the hidden anxiety.

Xie Duo from his memory had never sought something from others in such a desperate manner.

The usually arrogant Ninth Prince was now acting helplessly outside the door but dared not kick it open.

Through the door, it was as if one could hear Xie Duo’s heavy breathing. Han Jiao’s heart tightened instantly, all the overwhelming emotions dissipating in uncontrollable concern.

Xie Duo was afraid.

Han Jiao summoned the strength to lift his hand and prop himself against the door, attempting to stand again.

He decided to go out and embrace Xie Duo.

If this was a dream, he might as well follow his heart to the dream’s end.

But as he unsteadily stood up, he heard Xie Duo outside the door softly warning, “There’s movement in the main hall.”

Han Jiao froze, and the courage that had just ignited was extinguished by the stern image of his father that came to his mind.

The sounds of movement in the main hall were getting closer.

Xie Duo still held onto a last glimmer of hope, staring intensely at the crack in the door.

He reminded Han Jiao that someone was about to come out, hoping to push Han Jiao to stop hesitating. He wanted Han Jiao to immediately open the door and give him a hug as unforgettable as the one from the previous night. However, even as the door’s hinges creaked behind him, Han Jiao still hadn’t appeared before him.

After Master Han opened the door, the courtyard was already empty and quiet. He walked drowsily to the well to fetch water. Passing the eastern wing, he didn’t notice the three packs of medicines stacked on the windowsill.

For some reason, Han Jiao could feel that the person outside the door had already left. His heartbeat finally calmed.

He composed himself and told his parents that he had a severe dizziness yesterday, possibly due to the excessive workload recently. He informed the palace that he needed a few days off.

He couldn’t go to the palace in his current state, knowing that Xie Duo would surely find an excuse for his absence.

In the time ahead, he needed to sort out everything, even if it meant thinking relentlessly about what had happened last night.

Alcohol, for him, was like an amnesia potion. When he drank and fell asleep, he couldn’t remember his dreams. When he was awake, he only knew that he would cry uncontrollably.

Facing Xie Duo last night, he clearly wasn’t the former, but if he was awake, he should have only shed tears. Why did it lead to such a situation?

This sudden unexpected event was unbearable for Han Jiao. But from the moment he became aware of what had happened, he was already certain that Xie Duo hadn’t forced him.

Xie Duo wasn’t that kind of person.

Han Jiao understood Xie Duo, even better than himself.

From the moment he looked up and saw that familiar face, the rising corners of his mouth and the racing heartbeat gave away Han Jiao’s thoughts completely.

What pushed him to the brink of collapse wasn’t the fact that he had a relationship with Xie Duo, but the confusion and shame of his deeply buried secrets being torn open.

Right now, the pain made him incredibly clear-headed.

All those dark thoughts that he had hidden away, they all emerged, wearing mocking smiles.

Mocking himself for bantering with Xie Duo while ignoring the Princes gathered together.

He, the hypocrite, who praised Xie Duo day in and day out, pretending that Xie Duo was the best student, when in reality, every time he went to or left class, entered or exited the palace, he had only Xie Duo in his eyes and in his heart.

He could remember the curve of Xie Duo’s lips, but he couldn’t recall what the princes, Xie An and Xie Jing, had asked him in every class.

When he cleared the way for Xie Duo’s future position, he wholeheartedly acknowledged Xie Duo’s talent in his mind, convincing himself that he had no ulterior motives.

But truly, when Xie Duo got busy with state affairs and started neglecting him for less than half a month, he began to feel anxious and regretted not taking the initiative before.

He was indeed a hypocrite.

Han Jiao lay still in bed, tightly pursing his lips, forcing himself to halt his chaotic thoughts, but he couldn’t stop them.

Everything that happened last night shattered the carefully constructed facade of peaceful years.

He never dared to dream of reaching this point today, but with just one glass of alcohol, he removed his own mask.

Han Jiao closed his eyes in pain.

Looking at the obedient Xie Duo this morning, how had it come to this?

What intense admiration had he shown Xie Duo last night to make Xie Duo so attentive overnight?

What would be the result of this shameful secret being completely exposed?

Becoming the future Emperor’s favorite?

Was this the future Han Jiao had dreamed of?

No.

He’d rather forever maintain the facade of being Xie Duo’s buddy and preserve his self-respect, than compete with a group of palace ladies for that one-tenth or one-hundredth of Xie Duo’s true affection.

But now, due to a glass of wine, he had betrayed that resolve. If he were to gather the courage to tread this path, he would have to, like a modern man unfamiliar with palace life, demand that Xie Duo commit to a lifetime of exclusive partnership with him.

In this era, a man unable to bear children making such a request to the future Emperor was something he had never dared to consider before.

But it had come to this point, and he had no way back.

Tossing and turning, he had reached this stage, and he couldn’t bring himself to leave Xie Duo. He could only keep finding reasons to comfort himself.

Like all those deeply in love, in the end, Han Jiao felt that he might be different to Xie Duo.

What if Xie Duo truly held a unique affection for him?

Did he possess that kind of charm?

Han Jiao’s pale face flushed again. He reached for the bronze mirror on the low table, eager to examine his own reflection.

Han Jiao received more compliments for his intelligence than his looks, so he considered his appearance to be just passable.

To be of this standard, how could he seduce the Great Chu Empire’s leading heartthrob?

The boss’ looks were truly miraculous, not just through the eyes of a lover. Whether it was Prince Yan or Prince Duan, each had their unique handsomeness, but standing next to the big boss, they all seemed to fade into the background.

Han Jiao was somewhat curious about what the Empress looked like. She must have such a delicate and exquisite appearance that complemented the Emperor’s strong and prominent features.

Han Jiao, shedding all his burdens, let himself go completely during the two days of rest at home. His mind was filled with thoughts of the big boss.

However, the man he hoped would hold a unique affection for him hadn’t shown up in the two days following his departure that morning.

Two days later, a message brought back by Master Han made Han Jiao restless.

Something strange had occurred in the palace: the Crown Prince had been attacked, and the whereabouts of the assassin were unknown.

It was said that the Crown Prince had gone to Prince Yan’s mansion for a drink the evening before, originally planning not to return to the palace for the night. But in the early morning, the eunuchs suddenly heard the Crown Prince’s shouts coming from the Eastern Palace chambers.

The eunuchs rushed in and found the Crown Prince holding a broken sword hilt, claiming there had been an assassin.

Before Master Han could finish the story, Han Jiao asked in astonishment, “Is His Highness injured?”

“It’s said there’s a wound in the back, but fortunately, it’s not serious.”

Seeing Han Jiao still deeply concerned, Master Han reassured him that later in the afternoon, the Crown Prince had personally gone to the training grounds to assess the Eastern Palace guards.

It was said the Crown Prince defeated dozens of the palace’s top martial artists in succession. He declared that the Eastern Palace had been infiltrated by assassins due to the presence of these guards. Then, surprisingly, the Crown Prince expelled all the Eastern Palace guards and handpicked a group of Longyin Guards who had previously been involved in ambushing the Tatars, entrusting them with the responsibility of guarding the Eastern Palace.

Han Jiao was shocked in his heart.

Disbanding the Eastern Palace guards and handpicking trusted individuals to replace them.

In the novel, Xie Duo had done something similar not long after becoming the Crown Prince.

Any coincidences resembling the original plotline made Han Jiao uneasy. Early the next morning, he hurried into the palace, using official business as an excuse, to wait in the Xiyuan Hall for the Crown Prince.

It wasn’t until the end of the morning hours that Han Jiao heard the footsteps of a few people coming from the eastern corridor. He turned and saw Xie Duo walking ahead with lowered eyes, followed by four eunuchs.

As they approached, Xie Duo remained silent with his head bowed. Han Jiao thought he hadn’t noticed him and cheerfully greeted, “Your Highness.”

Xie Duo paused a few steps away, raised his eyes, and looked at him.

Han Jiao eagerly walked closer, but his legs were still a bit stiff. Just as he took a couple of steps, Xie Duo quickly closed the gap and grabbed his arm, steadying him.

Han Jiao anxiously examined his complexion. “I heard you were injured? Is it severe?”

Han Jiao’s concerned expression brought a hint of bewilderment in Xie Duo’s eyes, quickly replaced by self-mockery. He raised the corner of his mouth and grinned with narrowed eyes, “I’m sorry to disappoint you. The injury has already healed.”

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