Chapter 135
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Han Jiao, as a court official, found it difficult to meet with the ladies of the palace.
Xie Duo sent someone to invite the Empress to visit the Eastern Palace in person, as if she were just dropping by to see her son’s playmate.
Compared to Xie Duo’s calm composure when meeting Mrs. Han, Han Jiao was much more nervous when meeting the Empress.
Before the meeting, he kept asking, “Does the Empress prefer someone lively or more reserved in character?”
Xie Duo found this amusing and teased him, asking if he should do his makeup first.
Han Jiao ignored him and sat upright, trying to stay calm.
Shortly after, the Empress’ carriage arrived outside the courtyard. Han Jiao went out with Xie Duo to welcome her.
The Empress he had imagined was a powerful and ambitious beauty, but after meeting her, she proactively asked Xie Duo to introduce him. When she saw Han Jiao, she was amazed at his youth and his very kind and affectionate attitude.
Han Jiao appeared calm and gentle on the surface, but he was somewhat surprised in his heart.
He had thought the Empress would be a delicate and stunning beauty, but to his surprise, she had a slightly regal appearance with deep, high-bridged features. Her shining eyes were full of vitality when she looked at people. This reminded Han Jiao of the way Prince Yan and Prince Duan would scrutinize others.
After entering the hall, the Empress warmly exchanged greetings with him before bringing up the matter of Prince Duan.
Her eagerness to meet Han Jiao was indeed related to Xie Xiu.
She wanted to know how Han Jiao managed to make Xie Xiu let his guard down around the Sixth Prince and whether this method could work on her.
Han Jiao gently told her that Prince Duan’s resistance and fear towards her were much more severe than towards Prince Yan, and it had been that way since he was four years old.
Honestly, Han Jiao wasn’t sure if he could make Xie Xiu accept the Empress as his birth mother. Getting him to see the Empress as an unthreatening ordinary person was quite challenging.
When Xie Xiu was a child, his wetnurse was banished from the palace. Very few people in the palace knew about this. Han Jiao had learned it from the novel, so the Empress didn’t know he was aware of the situation. When she mentioned the Seventh Prince, she seemed to blame him for his eccentric nature.
Han Jiao certainly couldn’t reveal the novel, so he kept emphasizing that he would do his best to help Prince Duan trust the Empress.
The Empress looked at him with hopeful eyes.
Prince Duan had lost his usefulness now. The Empress’ sincere hope for her son’s forgiveness didn’t seem as heartless as it did in the novel.
Their first meeting ended with several reminders from the Empress.
After seeing off the Empress, Xie Duo asked Han Jiao if he was satisfied with his future mother-in-law.
Han Jiao turned. “Your mother looks a lot like your Sixth Brother!”
This remark made Xie Duo’s previously lazy smile freeze instantly.
After a brief silence, Xie Duo’s expression quickly softened. “Everyone says the same. Sixth Brother used to look even more like Mother Empress when he was young, but he has changed a lot now.”
“I resemble my mother a bit more. If my eyes were like my father’s, with those thin single eyelids, I’d appear more imposing. People always say my eyes make me look pitiful, but I think it just makes me an easy target. Everyone thinks I’m an easy pushover!” Han Jiao looked at the big boss with envy. “How did you end up with a face that’s so good-looking and intimidating at the same time? Did you just pick and choose the best traits from your parents?”
Xie Duo’s gaze darkened as he stared at him.
The oblivious Han Jiao continued to complain, “I’ve never seen someone with a unique and striking appearance like yours that also makes people think twice about messing with you. Did you just inherit the best of both your parents?”
Xie Duo laughed nonchalantly and said he had to go to Xiyuan Hall to deal with paperwork. Han Jiao had no choice but to leave as well.
Unexpectedly, after that day, Xie Duo didn’t return home for five whole days.
Han Jiao went to Xiyuan Hall twice to ask what Xie Duo was busy with, but the answers he received were far from convincing.
This sudden distance took Han Jiao by surprise.
He thought that all the goodness had just begun, but the man he loved deeply had suddenly lost interest in him.
Han Jiao’s pride had always been his strongest armor, but this time, it failed him.
He reassured himself over and over: if he doesn’t come tonight, I’ll leave on my own tomorrow.
But day after day, it dragged on until the eighth night.
Han Jiao was awakened by a kiss.
The room was dark, and the man on top of him was eagerly seeking pleasure, but it didn’t make Han Jiao feel anxious at all.
He was familiar with Xie Duo’s touches and where he placed them.
The moment he woke up, he knew who the person on top of him was.
Han Jiao lay there in the darkness, his face expressionless, allowing the man to take what he wanted.
Xie Duo was in a hurry, his breath trembling, like a wild beast that hadn’t eaten for half a month, yet he was also very careful, as if he didn’t want to wake Han Jiao.
His urgency and caution started to melt Han Jiao’s frozen heart. He started finding excuses for himself in the dark.
After all, Prince Yan was still in Luozhou fighting a war, and with urgent military matters, Xie Duo couldn’t delay, which was understandable.
Thinking this, Han Jiao slowly raised his hand and embraced Xie Duo, responding to his kisses.
However, this action startled Xie Duo, who suddenly stopped all the affectionate gestures.
“I thought you wouldn’t come back,” Han Jiao said in a hoarse voice.
Xie Duo was momentarily stunned, buried his head in Han Jiao’s embrace, and mumbled, “I missed you so much.”
“I have something to discuss with Your Highness.”
“It’s late. We can talk another day.”
“I don’t know when Your Highness will come to see me.”
Silence for a while.
“I think about you all the time.”
Han Jiao forced a bitter smile. “Your Highness is only this affectionate in front of me.”
Still no response, no explanation, no comfort.
“Don’t hold me!” Han Jiao pushed the person in his arms away forcefully.
Xie Duo firmly held him back, not letting him break free.
“I’m afraid of scaring you,” he spoke softly as if on a fragile thread. “Han Jiao, I’m going crazy. The more I love someone, the more they terrify me, but I still want to hold you.”
Han Jiao calmed down, thought for a moment, and didn’t quite understand what he meant. “What are you afraid of?”
There was no answer.
“Xie Duo!” Han Jiao lowered his head and cupped his face, unable to see his expression in the darkness. “What exactly are you afraid of? You’re the Great Chu’s War God. There’s nothing in this world that should scare you!”
“I’m afraid of losing you.”
“Right now, it’s you who doesn’t want me!” Han Jiao pushed him again. “Let me get up and light a lamp. We can talk properly.”
“No.”
“Why not? We haven’t seen each other for days. Don’t you have anything to say to me?”
“We can talk like this.”
It took Han Jiao a moment to realize that Xie Duo didn’t want him to light a lamp.
This was truly strange. Xie Duo used to insist on keeping the lamp on when they slept, always wanting to see him clearly. Now, in such a rush, he didn’t want to light a lamp and look at him. Had he really grown tired of him?
“Then lie down next to me.” He couldn’t resist indulging Xie Duo’s capriciousness.
Xie Duo held him tightly for a moment, and then reluctantly let go, turning to lie beside him.
Han Jiao’s eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness. When he turned his head, he could vaguely make out the contours of Xie Duo’s face.
In Xie Duo’s light-hued eyes, there was a clarity as if moonlight protected something unspoken inside them. It dissolved all of Han Jiao’s accumulated grievances, leaving behind tenderness.
What on earth had made this once-confident stinky little brother so anxious and uncertain day after day?
The Xie Duo before him seemed to have built an invisible wall around himself, and the more Han Jiao tried to get closer, the more he realized the wall was unbreakable.
Xie Duo never did tell him what he had been busy with these past days, but Han Jiao wasn’t angry.
His intuition told him that Xie Duo hadn’t changed his feelings. There must be a very frightening reason behind all these unusual behaviors. He would never give up on Xie Duo when he was at his most vulnerable.
“I won’t pressure you, and I won’t be angry.” Han Jiao reached out to touch Xie Duo’s cheek. “I’ll wait right here for you until you’re willing to believe in my feelings for you, until you’re willing to let me share your fears.”
The confusion in Xie Duo’s eyes seemed to fade as he reached out and pulled Han Jiao into his embrace, closing his eyes in peace.
However, when Han Jiao woke up early, Xie Duo had already left.
It was as if the guy who used to be like the sun, now wandered in the darkness like he feared the light. This made Han Jiao feel more pity than disappointment.
Throughout the entire day, he couldn’t help but recall Xie Duo’s light-hued eyes in the darkness.
Han Jiao only now realized that those sharp and piercing eyes could also carry such sadness and helplessness, making his heart ache.
Even during Prince Duan’s previous bouts of illness, he had never shown such a pitiful expression.
Xie Xiu and Prince Yan always had bright, spirited eyes. Pain only made their gaze more intense. But it wasn’t the same for Xie Duo…
Suddenly, an unfamiliar thought crossed Han Jiao’s mind.
He noticed that Prince Yan and Prince Duan resembled the Empress a lot.
Prince Duan’s features appeared somewhat youthful, and Prince Yan, in particular, had a striking resemblance to the Empress, right down to the dimple on his chin.
Comparatively, Xie Duo seemed to inherit the Emperor’s appearance completely.
But this made Han Jiao wonder a bit. When he hadn’t seen the Empress before, he suspected that Xie Duo resembled her because his features were very delicate, quite different from the Emperor’s rugged appearance.
He had thought the Empress had a particularly delicate look, but now…
The more he thought about it, the stranger it seemed. Han Jiao began to carefully recall the Emperor’s appearance.
The last time he was closest to the Emperor was when he got caught ghostwriting a policy essay. It happened in the study, and the Emperor had ordered him to look up and meet his gaze.
Because of the fear and despair, that moment remained etched in Han Jiao’s memory forever. The Emperor’s stern face was vivid in his mind.
He examined the Emperor’s face closely in his memories.
Undeniably, Xie Duo’s features resembled the Emperor, but with more delicate proportions and finer facial features. However…
However, it was those deep black dragon-like eyes.
Han Jiao’s eyes gradually widened, lost in thought as he remembered the Emperor’s imposing gaze.
Why were Xie Duo’s eyes such a pale color?
They weren’t like the Emperor’s and definitely not like the Empress’.
Lingering memories from high school biology class made Han Jiao feel that this was quite abnormal.
It was so abnormal that he didn’t dare to delve too deeply into it.
Xie Duo’s oddities seemed to have started after the Emperor’s severe illness.
Why did the Emperor’s illness make him so severely lacking in security?
It was as if overnight, his mother, brothers, all of them couldn’t provide him with a sense of belonging. Xie Duo had never previously displayed such a singular and strong reliance on the Emperor.
Han Jiao still remembered how this salted fish prince had initially looked forward to his sixth brother ascending the throne, so he could set aside politics and focus on playing soccer.
Why, after the Emperor’s severe illness, did Xie Duo impatiently begin to diminish the influence of Prince Yan within the court?
Why did the Xie Duo from the novel and Han Jiao’s Xie Duo both suddenly develop a desire for the throne and urgently target Prince Yan’s faction after the Emperor’s severe illness?
After falling ill, the Emperor would only see Xie Duo.
What would he say to Xie Duo?
Han Jiao felt a chill run down his spine.
What could make Xie Duo fear and doubt all his closest people overnight?
Fear to the point of willingly giving up his freedom and tightly clutching the supreme imperial power.
But even with power in his grasp, he still appeared incredibly lost and despondent.
The strange words Xie Duo had spoken in recent times suddenly connected in Han Jiao’s mind.
“I didn’t care about these things before because I’ve had them since childhood. They make up the ‘Ninth Prince Xie Duo’. If I were to lose all of this, who would I be?”
“As a person who indulges in merriment and is of no use, why should I be able to preserve others’ feelings for me?”
“And you, Han Jiao, if I were nobody, would you still like me a bit?”
“Han Jiao, I’m going crazy. The more I love someone, the more they terrify me, but I still want to hold you.”
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