Chapter 72: Exclusive Gaze
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“During my competition, were you watching from the audience?” An Lan was surprised.
“Yes,” Gu Liyu replied.
“With your conspicuous presence, how did I not notice you in the audience?” An Lan asked.
“Because you were too focused on the competition. People in the audience didn’t matter to you at all,” Gu Liyu explained.
“But in my sophomore year… my performance in the competition was average. It’s really strange. What attracted you to me?” An Lan found it strange. It was entirely unscientific.
In his sophomore year, entering the top sixteen in the provincial shooting competition was already the best result.
“I was attracted to your slow warmth,” Gu Liyu said.
Being attracted by being slow-warming?
An Lan couldn’t help but smile wryly.
“You usually shoot between seven and eight in regular shooting. After entering the rapid shooting stage, your performance improves, and you usually hit over nine,” said Gu Liyu, unexpectedly recalling this detail.
“I relied on fate to break through from the preliminaries at that time,” An Lan chuckled helplessly.
“It’s not just fate. Many shooters, like you, have already lost their composure. But you’re different; every shot is focused, as if the result of the previous shot doesn’t affect you. The first time I noticed you, you were at the bottom among the twelve participants. By the time the rapid shooting started, you had already moved into the middle. After ten rapid shots, you usually enter the top three.”
However, only the top two in the group can advance to the finals.
“In that particular competition… I should have been stuck in third place and didn’t qualify,” An Lan desperately recalled.
“Yes, you didn’t qualify. Your performance was getting better, and you missed the comeback by only 0.1. I thought you would be very upset,” Gu Liyu said.
“There is a bit of regret, but I know my own capabilities, so I wasn’t too upset.”
Gu Liyu looked at An Lan and smiled, “Yeah. You put down the gun, turned around, and grinned at your coach. I remember your smile that day.”
An Lan never expected that he would be remembered by Gu Liyu in such a simple moment.
Without any outstanding performance, without the glorious moment of a novel or movie, just because he shot from seven to over nine and was eliminated in the end, and because he turned around and smiled.
An Lan couldn’t understand – was it really so simple to capture Gu Liyu’s heart, or was it just a coincidence?
“When you shoot…. there’s no desire for victory or defeat, but there’s a very focused feeling. Every time I see your back while shooting, I feel like the whole world isn’t that important, only the targets running in front of you. My shooting has never been as pure as yours because… the reason I concentrate is to win.” Gu Liyu answered.
For alphas, shooting challenged their self-control.
Gu Liyu came from the Gu family, and the top alphas in the Gu family always seemed unable to escape the fate of losing control and going mad. Winning the championship in a shooting competition meant proving to the world that he wouldn’t lose control.
“I want to beat Xu Xingran, I want to beat Xiao Chen, I want to beat Ye Yun, I want to beat everyone.”
Perhaps in everyone’s mind, Gu Liyu was aloof and indifferent, where did he have the desire for victory and defeat?
But, ironically, he did have that desire.
“You don’t want to beat everyone, but only by winning them, you can have the sense of self-control and security,” An Lan said softly.
Gu Liyu’s gaze paused for a moment, he had been staring at An Lan.
“In the final of that competition, I knew you were in the audience. No, I should say, since then, I knew you were watching our finals in every competition.”
“As long as someone participates in the shooting competition, how could they not watch your finals?”
“Yes, from the moment I realized this, the reason I wanted to beat them was no longer to prove my self-control—it was for you to watch me. I want to have your exclusive gaze.”
His cold voice set a fire in An Lan’s heart, and the surging flames spread through his heart and into his marrow.
An Lan’s face was burning.
“When I found out you were my classmate, I kept thinking… why didn’t I notice you before?”
“What about… after that?”
An Lan couldn’t help but say, being secretly admired by the school grass was a very fulfilling thing.
“From my perspective, I could see your neck, very fair and long. Sometimes during breaks, you would sleep on the desk, and a little sunshine would fall on your neck… I really wanted to bite it.”
An Lan covered his neck, realizing that from the first year to the third year, his neck had been noticed by someone.
Looking at An Lan’s appearance, Gu Liyu smiled faintly.
“Do you know what I used to do at that time?”
“I don’t know.”
“I would carry a water bottle, pretending to go for hot water. This way, I could pass by you twice.”
An Lan raised his hand to cover his face.
“You’re not very ‘Gu Liyu’ at all!”
“I know. Every time you mention me to Qiao Chuluo, you say I’m too cold.” Gu Liyu was clearly self-mocking, but An Lan felt he was being mocked.
How naive he was to discuss Gu Liyu with Qiao Chuluo!
Retribution will come when the time is right!
“But in fact, not only would I think about you when I went home, but also during class.”
An Lan trembled, subconsciously asking, “How do you think about me during class?”
After asking, he regretted it. What could an alpha think about when he’s emotional? Some kind of youthful, artistic story?
“I would think… that today after class, it seems to be his turn to clean up. I can go home a little later.”
“Help me sweep the floor?” An Lan forgot that Gu Liyu was actually quite considerate.
Who knew Gu Liyu smiled again, somewhat wickedly, making An Lan’s heart race.
“I would stay behind, lock the classroom door…”
Hearing the word “lock,” An Lan had a very bad feeling.
“Generally, it wouldn’t be only one person left for cleanup duty.” An Lan quickly interrupted him.
“The others can tell from a glance that they should leave when I look at them.”
“Then, just look at me and let me know it’s time to leave!”
“I don’t look at you any less.” Gu Liyu retorted.
“When it comes to cleaning, everyone leaves various kinds of trash behind! Have you ever seen moldy buns with green hair?”
An Lan broke into a thin sweat. All he could think of now was to quickly change the topic.
“I would walk to your side and lift you up.”
“Whatever is in your mind, you don’t need to tell me! I didn’t say I wanted to know!”
“Put you on my desk.”
“The desk is sacred.” An Lan turned his face away.
“My desk is in a good position. You can’t see it from the windows in the corridor.”
“But it can be seen from the sports field!”
“People on the sports field will only see your back sitting there, not what I’m doing.”
“Enough… you’ve finished watching the movie, and we’ve done some bad things. Can we go to sleep now?”
“Bad things? Is that what you call bad things?”
An Lan’s ears buzzed.
Now, Gu Liyu was teaching him bad things!
“I would be thinking, when I put you on my desk, would you be afraid of me? Would your hands rest on my shoulders, or would you keep moving backward?”
Options, really? Should I thank you for this?
An Lan knew he couldn’t escape, so he simply laid down, pulled the blanket over himself, turned his back, and thought, whether you say it or not, it’s like “not listening, not listening, a turtle reciting scriptures” to me.
“If you put your hands on my shoulders, I’ll kiss you immediately.”
Gu Liyu also laid down. Since An Lan had wrapped himself up in the blanket, Gu Liyu hugged him from behind, separated by the blanket.
This guy is good at kissing, he can make An Lan’s legs go weak in just ten seconds.
“If you keep moving back, I’ll let you retreat.”
So kind?
“When you reach the end of the desk, either you’ll turn around, or you’ll slip down from the side. Either way, it’s quite nice.”
Gu Liyu’s arm wasn’t tight, but An Lan’s heart was firmly grasped by him, and his blood couldn’t flow, about to burst.
“The entire time you’re thinking of these things during class!”
“I also know that you copied my physics practice test.” Gu Liyu said.
An Lan’s heart skipped a beat. This was something he did in the second semester of his sophomore year. How did Gu Liyu know?
During that time, An Lan wasn’t doing well in physics. He would stay up until ten o’clock at night, spreading the physics practice test from 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. Even if he didn’t know how to do some of the questions, he wouldn’t do them. Later, An Lan simply didn’t do it. The next day at school, he would just copy.
In any case, Gu Liyu would always be the first to turn in his paper, and his big answer would be neat and detailed. Even if he didn’t know how to do the questions originally, as long as he concentrated on reading the process he wrote, he could understand seven or eight points.
So, before the early morning self-study, Gu Liyu handed in the practice test. During the first class, when the class was over, he would definitely go to get hot water. At this time, everyone would go to the physics class representative to take pictures of Gu Liyu’s answers. As long as Gu Liyu wasn’t around, the physics class representative would turn a blind eye, and once someone took a picture, it would spread throughout the class.
Although An Lan had copied assignments quite a bit, he belonged to the type who copied with understanding. After copying, he would take out the photos and review them during breaks.
“How did you know that I copied your physics practice test?”
“Because when I passed by you while getting water, you were looking at your phone, and the physics paper in your phone was the one I wrote.”
“I didn’t notice you?”
“You were looking very seriously. Did you think I needed to write the physics essay so detailed?” Gu Liyu countered.
“You… showed it to me?”
“Yeah.” Gu Liyu responded lightly.
An Lan didn’t turn around, but he couldn’t help suppressing the urge to smile.
“I’ve actually been waiting for you to come and ask me questions. But you only know how to copy, and you’ve never come to ask me.”
“Who would dare?” An Lan whispered.
“So every time I see you copying my papers, I think of other interesting things.”
An Lan learned from his experience that it was better not to ask about these “interesting things.”
But just because he didn’t ask didn’t mean Gu Liyu wouldn’t say it.
An Lan understood. In order not to affect his differentiation, Gu Liyu couldn’t do too many boundary-crossing things to him. However, the more restrained he was, the more he would surely want to do something bad. Since he couldn’t put it into practice, he might as well just say everything he had thought of to An Lan.
This way, these things wouldn’t just be in Gu Liyu’s thoughts; An Lan would surely be thinking about them over and over again in his mind.
“The thing I thought about the most was during break times, you would come to me carefully with the paper and ask me questions. I would say, ‘I’ll teach you after school.'”
Again, “after school”?
Was after school a magical moment?
To show his rejection of hearing Gu Liyu’s nonsense, An Lan covered his ears with his hands.
But unfortunately, his hearing was too good, and Gu Liyu’s voice couldn’t be blocked by covering his ears.
“While waiting for school to end, I would let you sit inside, and I would sit outside. Spread out the paper, and I would teach you a multiple-choice question; you would have to let me kiss you. If I taught you a big question, you would have to open your mouth and not keep it tightly closed. If you let me be your boyfriend, then I would teach you anything you didn’t know. But whatever a boyfriend can do, I would do.”
An Lan didn’t know how to make his heart beat less forcefully. He was sure Gu Liyu heard it.
“If you reject me, sorry, you sat inside, and I can trap you. Think for however long you want, until you agree obediently.”
“D*mn…” An Lan cursed viciously.
Compared to Gu Liyu, what kind of school bully was Xiao Chen?
“Every day during class, I can see you, and then I have many interesting thoughts. Class is so boring, if it weren’t for you, I might just lie down and sleep.”
I would rather you lie down and sleep!
“In the competition in the second semester of our sophomore year, you didn’t make it to the finals again. I saw you go to the restroom and thought you might be a bit upset.”
Hearing this, An Lan suddenly had a bad feeling.
“But you clutched your phone and made a hot pot date with Qiao Chuluo. You didn’t even notice that I was right next to you. I felt sad that I couldn’t meet you in the finals, but you thought, ‘There’s always next time.'”
Finally, in Gu Liyu’s voice, An Lan heard a hint of resentment.
“At that time, I wanted to kill you.”
An Lan stiffened under the blanket. Of course, he knew what Gu Liyu meant by “kill you.”
“I’m sorry… I didn’t know someone was waiting for me in the finals.”
“I regret it now. At that time, I should have done whatever I wanted. I could have used my pheromones to influence you. Maybe you would be my omega now.”
An Lan knew Gu Liyu was telling the truth.
Before he showed signs of differentiating, if he had a lot of contact with Gu Liyu’s aplus, he might really be an omega now.
“You won’t.” An Lan said.
“What do you mean I won’t?” Gu Liyu’s counter-question was light, but it carried an irresistible force.
“You’ve talked about so many of your fantasies, but not one of them involves using pheromones to seduce me. This shows that from beginning to end, you have always imagined me as a beta.”
Even though Gu Liyu had the face of a high-level alpha and had all sorts of inappropriate thoughts, he had accepted An Lan’s original appearance from start to finish.
“What’s the difference between conquering you with alpha power and conquering you with pheromones?”
As soon as Gu Liyu said this, An Lan’s anger flared up, and he immediately turned around. “Do you think you’re really that powerful? Leaving out the pheromones, do you believe that if I find a professional teacher to learn close combat, I can make you search for your teeth all over the floor…”
An Lan suddenly met Gu Liyu’s eyes, which were filled with a smile. This guy deliberately provoked him to turn around.
“Originally, it was nice to think about you every day.”
Hello, I’m not okay.
“Have you ever thought about actively approaching me?” An Lan felt a bit frustrated.
Was this guy addicted to secretly admiring others? Instead of fantasizing about all these random things, couldn’t he actively come and teach him some problems, or ride a bike behind him or something? Over time, they could become friends starting from that.
“Actively approach you?” Gu Liyu’s eyebrows slightly lifted, “And then easily ruin you?”
An Lan opened his mouth, speechless.
In his mind, there was only one thought—d*mn, he spoke as if he couldn’t ruin me now!
“When did you start to feel unsatisfied with… looking at me?”
“After watching this ‘Mysterious Night.’ During that dinner, Bruce did something I’ve always wanted to do and reminded me of a… problem I’ve been ignoring. You’re a beta, even if I shamelessly try to seduce you with pheromones, you won’t react like an omega. You’re a beta, I can never truly mark you, not even once. You’re a beta, you’ll never cling to me like an omega, revolving around me. You’re a beta, when I enter my susceptible period for you, you can’t release pheromones to soothe me like an omega. You’re a beta, and I don’t know how to possess you.”
An Lan looked into Gu Liyu’s eyes, lowered his head, and nestled into his embrace.
“So, after that, what I thought about the most was that there could be a masked banquet between us as well. No need for pheromones; I can recognize you even without them. At the moment darkness arrives, I could accurately grab your hand, pull you into that room, and make you realize, even more recklessly and arrogantly than Bruce, how much someone desires to possess you.”
Buried in Gu Liyu’s embrace, An Lan dared not lift his head to look at him.
“I don’t want to be treated as an alpha by you. I just want to be seen as a man by you, both crazy and shameless.”
An Lan tightly closed his eyes; he really couldn’t face Gu Liyu.
Because the terms “crazy” and “shameless” were the words An Lan used to describe Gu Liyu when he ranked first in the year-end exams of their second year of high school, in Qiao Chuluo’s description of Gu Liyu.
Oh my God, he got a full score in comprehensive science. In our class, Gu Liyu is really crazy!
D*mn, he got a full score in math too… crazy is not enough to describe him, he’s completely shameless!
Hehe, every omega dreams of having an alpha who is crazy and shameless toward them~
Even if I’m a beta, it doesn’t prevent him from being crazy and shameless, getting full scores and tormenting me.
“Why… can’t you just not listen to me?” An Lan said softly.
“But I can hear it.”
“But every time I finish thinking about the banquet, I feel scared. Because I know the ending might just be your ‘farewell.'”
Upon hearing this, An Lan felt a pang of heartache. He held the other even tighter.
“There will never be a ‘farewell’ between us.”
“Until the day you suddenly showed signs of differentiating. Without Xu Xingran saying it, I knew your pheromones, although not very aggressively attacking, were leaning toward alpha. But you said, ‘What if it’s omega?’ You filled me with unwarranted expectations and impossible fantasies. I thought you would really turn into an omega. Knowing you as I do, you probably wouldn’t be aware of what an omega should pay attention to. You would be defenseless, even entering the heat in front of me. You would tug at my sleeves, nestle into my arms, and you would want me to help you. Then, I could openly mark you, leaving my scent on you. No matter how attractive you are, I could keep those alpha predators away from you.”
But with so many opportunities, Gu Liyu didn’t use his advantage to reverse An Lan’s differentiating.
An Lan knew what Gu Liyu was thinking. He had already been troubled by super-strong pheromones, and he saw his father’s madness and his mother’s regret. He would never use his pheromones to get An Lan.
“The hospital where I had the checkup has shares from your Gu family. You could easily get hold of my medical report, right?”
“I didn’t. That day at the hospital, I just didn’t want you to be alone… But Xu Xingran has been with you all along. After that, I could often smell your pheromones in the classroom, very faint, but it’s alpha pheromones. I could smell them for as long as you were in school. No matter how many times I identified them, my reason told me… you were going to differentiate into an alpha.”
An Lan grabbed Gu Liyu’s back tightly and whispered, “Are you feeling sad?”
“No. Because if you become an alpha, I can’t mark you… No one in this world can mark you. And, as an alpha, you can be even more powerful. If I bully you… I can be even more outrageous.”
“…D*mn.”
Gu Liyu chuckled softly, and An Lan’s heart trembled along with it.
“I thought we would meet in the finals of the shooting competition. I thought I could teach this new alpha how to control pheromones. I thought maybe the plot of ‘Mysterious Night’ could change a bit. You crazily resist me, so stubborn, so resilient, even the look of hatred in your eyes makes me…”
An Lan immediately reached out to cover Gu Liyu’s mouth.
“That’s enough… you’ve already achieved your goal.”
“What goal?” Gu Liyu’s voice carried a hidden smile.
“To chat and let me be bullied.”
An Lan’s voice carried a sense of resignation.
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