Xiao Yiming didn’t say anything else. After the two of them reached the river, he found a shady place under a tree and sat down, watching the others splashing in the water like dumplings whose filling had fallen apart.
Fang Chi watched the dog running back and forth by the riverbank. His heart was as unsettled as the water.
He knew Xiao Yiming had seen through it. Maybe Xiao Yiming had already sensed something even before Sun Wenqu appeared, which was why he had said those things to him before.
Now that Fang Chi and Sun Wenqu were together, it must be even clearer to Xiao Yiming.
But Xiao Yiming had always been like this, if Fang Chi didn’t want something talked about, Xiao Yiming wouldn’t say more. Even now, when he seemed helpless and might want a little support from someone like him, he still wouldn’t say more.
“Actually,” Fang Chi took a cigarette from his pocket. He had bought the pack quite a while ago and smoked it on and off; today there was finally only the last one left. He put it in his mouth and lit it, then crushed the empty pack in his hand, “did you already figure it out?”
“You and Uncle Sun?” Xiao Yiming asked.
The word “uncle” made Fang Chi laugh so hard he almost choked, coughing for a while. “Yeah.”
“I was just guessing,” Xiao Yiming forced a smile. “When he first came to bring you the backpack I already…”
“There was nothing back then,” Fang Chi interrupted. “He just brought the backpack.”
“Oh.” Xiao Yiming glanced at him. After a long pause he asked, “Then now there is?”
“Yeah.” Fang Chi answered, then whistled toward the river.
The dog sprinted over and flopped down in front of him.
“You…” Xiao Yiming seemed unsure what to say, opening his mouth but making no sound.
“Mm?” Fang Chi rubbed the dog’s head.
“Are you planning to tell your family?” Xiao Yiming asked softly.
“I will,” Fang Chi frowned. “But I don’t dare say it now… I’ll have to say it eventually.”
“Does his family… know? Has he come out?” Xiao Yiming asked again.
“Yeah.” Fang Chi nodded. “But his relationship with his family isn’t good anyway, so saying it probably didn’t matter much.”
Xiao Yiming sighed softly.
The two fell silent again, watching the people in the river.
“If you can tell them later, then tell them later,” Xiao Yiming said while picking at stones on the ground. The dog excitedly came to his hand, and he handed it a stone. “Before that, give them more hints. Don’t make it too sudden like mine, it’ll be impossible to deal with.”
“Did you give them hints before they found out?” Fang Chi looked at him.
“No,” Xiao Yiming gave a bitter smile. “I hadn’t even planned to say anything yet. I didn’t plan on getting another boyfriend or anything, so it didn’t matter whether I said it or not.”
“Oh.” Fang Chi responded, taking the stone from the dog’s mouth and throwing it. The dog ran to fetch it and dropped it at his feet again.
Fang Chi felt both surprised and not surprised that Xiao Yiming had guessed about him and Sun Wenqu, or guessed that he was the same kind.
Xiao Yiming seemed fairly calm, not asking for details or showing much emotion.
They talked for a long time. It wasn’t until the people in the river had soaked so long their skin wrinkled that the two of them stood up and slowly wandered back home together.
Because everyone was tired from playing, the barbecue that night was set up beside the vegetable garden in Fang Chi’s backyard, convenient for getting things and next to the water, with a nice atmosphere.
Grandpa and Grandma had prepared plenty of meat and vegetables. Everyone sat in the yard resting and skewering meat. Even though they were tired from playing in the water, they were still excited and kept chatting non-stop.
Fang Chi stayed for a while. After seeing Xiao Yiming also join in skewering meat, he stood up and went upstairs.
Sun Wenqu’s door wasn’t locked. With a light twist it opened.
“I’m coming in,” Fang Chi stuck half his head inside and saw Sun Wenqu still sitting at the desk.
“Mm,” Sun Wenqu responded. “Back from playing?”
“Didn’t play,” Fang Chi closed the door and walked behind him. “Talked with Xiao Yiming for a while.”
“Was the talk good?” Sun Wenqu’s pen was still moving across the paper.
Fang Chi didn’t answer. He lifted a leg over the back of the chair and forced himself into the seat behind Sun Wenqu, wrapping his arms around his waist.
Sun Wenqu smiled and reached back to touch his face.
“Xiao Yiming’s situation isn’t easy to solve,” Fang Chi said, tilting his head and resting his face against the back of Sun Wenqu’s shoulder, closing his eyes. “Maybe he’ll break with his family from now on.”
“Everyone is doing multiple-choice questions,” Sun Wenqu said.
“Huh?” Fang Chi didn’t understand.
Sun Wenqu didn’t speak again and lowered his head to continue drawing.
Fang Chi didn’t press further. He just felt a little sleepy. Leaning against Sun Wenqu’s shoulder like this felt comfortable. He could feel the subtle movements of Sun Wenqu’s muscles as he worked.
Sun Wenqu braced his arm on the desk, staring at the drawing while making the final adjustments.
Fang Chi seemed to have fallen asleep. He had been lying on his back for twenty minutes without moving, the arm around his waist relaxed, his hand resting on Sun Wenqu’s leg.
Sun Wenqu sighed. His temper really had become much better.
His arms and shoulders were already sore, yet he still hadn’t thrown Fang Chi off.
Maybe Fang Chi’s tangled state of mind made him feel sorry for him. In the past he would never have had such feelings, even toward his boyfriends, he wouldn’t have cared whether they came out or not, whether they suffered or not.
These were things people had no choice about, roads they couldn’t avoid. Just walk them. Sympathy, pity, those were all pretentious.
But when facing Fang Chi, he couldn’t be like that.
Fang Chi was very lost, lost enough that anyone could see it, but at the same time very… serious.
This kid really was a serious person. Even if it were something like a teasing contract of selling himself, once he agreed, he would seriously carry it out.
It was hard to say whether that kind of personality was good or bad.
In any case, it meant he would live more painfully than those who had “figured things out.”
A cautious boy in love, confused yet firm, serious.
Sun Wenqu put down his pen and leaned forward onto the desk. “Hey, Fang Little Chi.”
Fang Chi leaned forward along with him, still lying on his back without moving.
“Your dad’s waist is about to break,” Sun Wenqu said weakly while lying on the desk. “Believe it or not, I’ll elbow you straight to the ground.”
“I don’t believe it.” Fang Chi said, his voice still carrying the nasal tone of someone who had just woken up.
For some reason, hearing it made Sun Wenqu feel a bit heated. He reached over and touched Fang Chi’s leg. Fang Chi’s arm tightened, pulling him closer.
His hand slid upward, reaching Fang Chi’s waist.
Fang Chi’s waist was very beautiful, the lines beautiful, without a bit of excess flesh. His hand circled from the waist to the front, sliding down along the lower abdomen.
Fang Chi gave a very low hum, and the arm holding him also moved downward at the same time, first groping once through the pants, then slipping inside the pants.
“Hey?” Liang Xiaotao slowly skewered meat while looking around. “Why haven’t I seen Fang Chi? Where did he go?”
“Probably slacking off somewhere.” Xu Zhou said with a laugh.
“This little b*stard,” Grandma came out of the kitchen and walked toward the living room, “his classmates come to visit and he doesn’t care about anything, even letting the guests do the work. I’ll call him to, ”
Xiao Yiming stood up as well, wiped the grease from his hands on his pants, quickly followed into the living room, and called out, “Grandma.”
“Oh, Yiming,” Grandma turned and looked at him with a smile. “What’s the matter?”
“Well,” Xiao Yiming glanced upstairs and said quietly, “it’s like this, Fang Chi’s friend isn’t he someone who makes pottery?”
“Shuiqu? Yes, he makes pottery, and very well too. He can even write calligraphy and play the erhu.” Grandma said with a smile.
“Shui… Shuiqu?” Xiao Yiming froze for a moment. “Oh, so just now I asked Fang Chi to go upstairs and help me ask if Shui… qu could help my family make a… make a vase.”
“Oh, like that?” Grandma also glanced upstairs. “Why is he asking for so long?”
“Fang Chi said he’s busy and might not have time,” Xiao Yiming smiled. “I asked him to help me plead a bit, they’re probably talking about it now.”
“Ah, there’s no need to plead. Shuiqu is easy to talk to,” Grandma patted him and turned toward the backyard again. “He even made a few plates for me. Very pretty. Come take a look later, if you like them, you can take two back with you.”
“Thank you, Grandma.” Xiao Yiming watched Grandma go out the backyard door, then took out his phone and sent Fang Chi a message.
“Tissue,” Sun Wenqu said. “On the bed.”
“Oh, I’ll get it.” Fang Chi stood up from behind him and went to the bedside to get the tissues.
The tissue box was being held by Chief Huang. When Fang Chi pulled one out, he even got swatted with a paw by Chief Huang. He pointed at Chief Huang. “Fat eunuch.”
After the two of them cleaned up, Sun Wenqu reached his hands behind him and felt the clothes at his lower back. “You didn’t get it on my clothes, right?”
“No.” Fang Chi felt a little embarrassed and touched it too, then picked up the phone that had just made a sound and glanced at it.
A message from Xiao Yiming.
—When you come down just say you went up to ask if your friend can make a vase for me.
Fang Chi froze for a moment, then immediately understood and muttered quietly, “F*ck.”
“What’s wrong?” Sun Wenqu glanced at him.
Fang Chi handed the phone to him. “My grandma probably wanted to come up to find me… f*ck, what if she just came up?”
“The door’s closed. Your grandma knocks when she comes into my room,” Sun Wenqu patted his face. “It’s fine. At most it’ll scare you into premature ej*culation.”
“If she knows I’m in here she probably won’t knock,” Fang Chi still hadn’t quite recovered from the fright, but he didn’t say anything more. He didn’t want his nervousness to make Sun Wenqu uncomfortable. “I’ll go downstairs and take a look.”
“Mm.” Sun Wenqu responded.
“They’re having a barbecue tonight,” Fang Chi said. “Do you want to eat anything? I can grill it and bring it up for you.”
“No need.” Sun Wenqu leaned against him. “I’m very busy tonight. Go play with them. Don’t worry about me.”
“Oh.” Fang Chi hugged him.
Everyone was in the yard. As soon as Grandma saw Fang Chi come down she walked over and slapped him lightly. “Asking something took half an hour.”
“He… was busy,” Fang Chi glanced toward Xiao Yiming. “So I waited a bit.”
“Can it be done?” Xiao Yiming walked over.
“Mm.” Fang Chi nodded with a fake seriousness. “But he has to finish what he’s working on first. It’ll take some time.”
“It’s fine, I’ll wait,” Xiao Yiming said. “Thanks.”
“Come,” Grandma beckoned to Xiao Yiming. “Come look at those plates. They’re really beautiful. Take two back with you first.”
“Okay.” Xiao Yiming followed Grandma over.
“Thanks.” Fang Chi whispered behind him.
Xiao Yiming flashed a V sign with his hand without turning back, and Fang Chi smiled.
The barbecue was in the backyard. Several lights were strung up. Living in the countryside, having a barbecue was incredibly easy. Firewood was right there, just take it whenever you needed it. Stack a stove with bricks, put a grill rack on top, and you could start.
“Does anyone have an external speaker?” someone asked. “Fang Chi, do you have one here?”
“Definitely not,” Xu Zhou said. “Haven’t you seen what Fang Chi uses to listen to music normally? At that audiophile level who still uses external speakers? You think everyone’s like you, climbing halfway up a mountain with a speaker blasting music…”
Everyone burst out laughing.
“What does he use?” Lin Wei asked. “I never really noticed, just that the headphones are huge.”
“What’s it called again…” Xu Zhou frowned and tried to think. “Big… big city person! Oh! Big city people!”
“That’s called Metropolitan,” Fang Chi sighed as he went up the stairs to the rooftop. “I’ll get you a speaker.”
Fang Chi went into the room. He actually did have an external speaker. Grandpa and Grandma usually used this little speaker to play the music for their Baduanjin exercises.
He took the speaker, but when he was about to go downstairs he couldn’t help wandering to Sun Wenqu’s room door.
Just as he was about to knock, the door opened.
“You…” Fang Chi froze.
Sun Wenqu didn’t say anything. He grabbed Fang Chi by the collar and dragged him into the room, hooked an arm around his neck, and fiercely kissed him twice. After Fang Chi came back to his senses, he panted heavily and pressed him against the wall, kissing him for quite a while.
“You going downstairs?” Fang Chi asked only after they finished.
“No,” Sun Wenqu pushed him away and straightened his clothes. “I just knew that when you came upstairs to get something you’d definitely come over.”
Fang Chi scratched his hair a little awkwardly.
“Listen, son,” Sun Wenqu held his face. “I just told Grandma to cook me a bowl of noodles. Tonight before you go to sleep, don’t come over again. I really have to rush my work. Every time you come in, my train of thought gets cut off.”
“Ah.” Fang Chi immediately felt guilty. “I…”
“Are you guys grilling chives tonight?” Sun Wenqu rubbed his face.
“Huh? Probably. I saw some,” Fang Chi said, then sighed. “I just won’t eat chives.”
“Why?” Sun Wenqu asked with a smile.
“I already act like a chive spirit even without eating them. If I eat them I’m afraid your train of thought will be cut off for the next week.” Fang Chi clicked his tongue.
Sun Wenqu leaned against the table and laughed. “Get lost.”
“Then I’m going down.” Fang Chi smiled and turned to leave.
Music started playing downstairs, mixed with the cheerful laughter of a bunch of kids and the happy voices of Grandpa and Grandma.
Sun Wenqu leaned back in his chair, his legs resting on the table, tilted his head back and listened for a while, then put in his earphones.
The device still had all the music Fang Chi had stored earlier. He hadn’t changed it.
Listening to those songs, he could more or less imagine Fang Chi’s life. His unusual life experiences had made him more mature and independent than his peers, and his sexual orientation made him quiet and reserved among people. Aside from that, Fang Chi was still an ordinary boy with sunshine about him.
He would joke and laugh with his classmates, eat barbecue, listen to that external speaker music that sounded like someone holding their throat while singing…
There was a generation gap.
Sun Wenqu smiled.
When he was in school he already hated making noise with classmates. Later he often hung out with a group of people at Li Bowen’s bar, but he had never truly blended in.
He felt like an observer, sitting to the side, his heart empty, quietly pretending to be cool, watching his chaotic and boring life.
Fang Chi was like sunlight, cutting open a gap in his blurred, muddled life and letting a patch of brightness shine in.
But how long could it warm him, how far could it shine? Even though Fang Chi had said, “I won’t run away,” it made him feel reassured, yet he still didn’t have much expectation. After all, he was still a kid, and that kid had a family he wouldn’t dare hurt no matter what.
Grandpa had ordered beer from the small shop at the village entrance. It was all chilled, when they finished they could just go get more.
A group of people cheered. The boys grabbed beers and started chugging.
“Don’t drink too much,” Grandpa said with a smile. “I ordered it by headcount, three bottles per person. No more.”
Fang Chi took a bottle and leaned against the backyard wall while drinking. Xiao Yiming brought over several skewers of grilled meat and handed them to him. “Do you need delivery service?”
“No need. He’s eating noodles,” Fang Chi took a bite of meat. “If I go upstairs I keep interrupting his train of thought.”
“Oh.” Xiao Yiming looked up at the second-floor window. “Then with us making noise here, will it bother him?”
“That should be fine,” Fang Chi said. “Only when I go into the room will it… bother him.”
Xiao Yiming didn’t speak. After tilting his head back and drinking a couple gulps of beer, he laughed.
“What are you laughing at?” Fang Chi glanced at him and lowered his voice. “Are you overthinking it!”
“I probably am not overthinking it.” Xiao Yiming said with a smile.
Fang Chi clicked his tongue and said nothing.
“I kind of envy you,” Xiao Yiming said after laughing, lowering his head to bite a piece of meat. “It’s really nice.”
“You…” Fang Chi thought for a moment. “Why don’t you ease things a bit first, then go back and tell your parents you’ve changed, that you don’t like men anymore? Go home first and talk about it later.”
“No.” Xiao Yiming looked at him. “Even though I don’t want it to be like this, since I’ve already taken this step, I can’t shrink back. If I say now that I’m not like this anymore but later I’m still like this, wouldn’t it just go on forever?”
“…True.” Fang Chi sighed, staring at the beer bottle in his hand.
“Don’t keep thinking about my situation,” Xiao Yiming said. “No family’s situation is exactly the same. Besides, you’re not at that point yet. If you keep thinking about these things all the time, you won’t even be able to enjoy your relationship.”
What Xiao Yiming said sounded a bit like Sun Wenqu. Fang Chi smiled.
“Hey, want some chives?” Xu Zhou turned around with a plate of grilled chives. “There’s also water spinach and bell peppers, all just picked from the vegetable field. Want some?”
“I don’t,” Fang Chi said. “I’m sick of eating them.”
“I want peppers.” Xiao Yiming took the plate and got some bell peppers.
“Hey,” Fang Chi ate silently for a while, then turned to Xiao Yiming. “Let me ask you something. When two people are together, if they’re too clingy, does it get annoying?”
“Hm?” Xiao Yiming looked at him. “Probably not. When things are good, don’t you just want to stick together?”
Fang Chi didn’t speak, lowering his head to eat meat.
“Actually I don’t have much experience,” Xiao Yiming said quietly. “I only had that one time… you know.”
“Mm.” Fang Chi nodded. “That idiot.”
“I think,” Xiao Yiming said, “you don’t need to think so much. You just like to overthink. Actually if you don’t think about all that stuff, it’s a lot easier.”
“Is that so?” Fang Chi laughed. He really did think too much.
“Having someone walk with you,” Xiao Yiming said, “how nice is that? You just walk together.”
Fang Chi patted his shoulder and grabbed it twice.
The external speaker was playing songs from Xu Zhou’s mp3, all explosive nightclub music. Only coming out of the little speaker, it sounded somewhat agonizing.
Others didn’t seem to feel anything about it, but Fang Chi several times wanted to go over and turn the music off.
When the speaker broadcast “Come! Everyone shake together, ” for the third time, the barbecue party finally broke up, and everyone decided to go to sleep.
Fang Chi quickly went over and unplugged the speaker.
The two girls slept in Fang Chi’s room, while the boys spread out on the sofa, the bamboo bed, and the mats.
After Fang Chi finished washing up, he sprayed a circle of mosquito repellent around the room and lit a mosquito coil before going upstairs.
The light in Sun Wenqu’s room was still on. Fang Chi knocked but there was no response. When he pushed the door open he discovered Sun Wenqu had already lain down on the bed and fallen asleep.
Fang Chi turned off the light and quietly climbed onto the bed, picking up Chief Huang, who was sleeping boldly on his pillow, and placing him to the side.
“Finished?” Sun Wenqu turned over and opened his eyes.
“Did I wake you?” Fang Chi lay down.
“No,” Sun Wenqu smiled. “I was awake when you knocked.”
“Then why didn’t you answer?” Fang Chi said, then nodded after thinking about it. “Oh, got it. You were too lazy to answer, right?”
Sun Wenqu smiled without speaking.
Fang Chi stared at him for a while, then scooted over and hugged him. “Hey, are you tired?”
“Not really,” Sun Wenqu said. “What do you want to do?”
