Sun Wenqu is Fang Chi’s.
Is Fang Chi’s.
Fang Chi didn’t hug the shoebox to sleep on the bus, but he still didn’t put it on the luggage rack, he placed it on the small table instead.
If he weren’t worried people would think he looked silly holding a plate on the bus, he would’ve taken it out to look at it again.
Sun Wenqu is Fang Chi’s.
Hehe.
As the bus neared the station, Cheng Mo called. “You there yet?”
“No,” Fang Chi paused. “Why?”
“I’m at the exit,” Cheng Mo said. “I’m picking you up.”
“Picking me up?” Fang Chi was completely confused. “You’re picking me up? I’m Fang Chi, not Xiao Yiming.”
“…I know you’re Fang Chi,” Cheng Mo clicked his tongue. “Just come out and look for me.”
After hanging up, Cheng Mo stared at his phone for a while, feeling like laughing. Was he starting with the friend in order to pursue Xiao Yiming?
When the bus arrived, Fang Chi called Sun Wenqu as he walked out. Sun Wenqu was eating with Ma Liang and his wife, so they exchanged a few words before hanging up.
The moment he exited, he spotted Cheng Mo, standing on a concrete platform to make himself more visible.
“Here,” Fang Chi raised a hand.
Cheng Mo jumped down and ran over, reaching for the shoebox. “Bought a pair of… cloth shoes?”
“No,” Fang Chi held onto the box. “No need to help me carry it.”
“What kind of treasure are you hugging like that?” Cheng Mo asked.
“Made a plate,” Fang Chi said.
“A plate? You two made it together?” Cheng Mo immediately understood.
“Mm.” Fang Chi nodded.
“Having a skill is great, you can even make keepsakes together,” Cheng Mo said. “If I really end up with Xiao Yiming, we’d probably just sell roasted chestnuts on the street, eat half, sell half…”
Fang Chi laughed. “He likes playing basketball. We used to play together all the time.”
“Really?” Cheng Mo looked at him, then patted his shoulder. “I only know badminton.”
“Then you two should stick to selling chestnuts,” Fang Chi said.
Fang Chi had thought Cheng Mo would show up on He Dongbao’s Kawasaki, but instead he came on a small electric scooter.
“You’re something else,” Fang Chi said, speechless. With both of them plus a suitcase, he was worried it’d run out of battery halfway.
“Relax. I modified this thing, it could take part in an Indian military parade,” Cheng Mo said. “Get on.”
Fang Chi strapped the suitcase behind and squeezed on, wedging the shoebox between them.
“Can’t you just hold that box?” Cheng Mo shifted.
“No,” Fang Chi said. “What if it falls?”
“With your rock-climbing grip?” Cheng Mo sighed. “Fine, keep it there.”
Cheng Mo didn’t take him back to the dorm, instead, he brought him to the snack street for barbecue.
“This is the best season for barbecue,” Cheng Mo opened two beers. “Not too hot, not too cold.”
“So how’s it going with Xiao Yiming these days?” Fang Chi asked.
“What progress could there be? Just chatting a bit. At least he doesn’t ignore me. Honestly, I should go learn how to roast chestnuts,” Cheng Mo said, taking a sip. “He had to work at an amusement park the other day. I offered to take him, he said no. Then I said I’d bring him chestnuts from our local ‘Chestnut King,’ and he agreed.”
Fang Chi laughed for a long time. “He really loves chestnuts. We used to eat a bag every day after school. You should go learn.”
“…Okay.” Cheng Mo nodded.
After eating a few skewers, Fang Chi hesitated, then looked at him. “Does your family know about your situation?”
“They do,” Cheng Mo said.
“And… their attitude?” Fang Chi asked.
“My mom’s very open-minded, she says as long as I don’t end up alone forever. I think she might be one of the first fujoshi in the country,” Cheng Mo said. “My dad was upset for a while, when he was, he’d beat me up, but now it’s fine.”
“Oh.” Fang Chi responded.
“Xiao Yiming’s family doesn’t accept it, right?” Cheng Mo asked. “He didn’t go home at all during this long break.”
“Mm. He hasn’t gone home since before the college entrance exam,” Fang Chi added, “Don’t ask him about it. I don’t know if he wants to talk about it.”
“I won’t,” Cheng Mo picked up a chicken wing. “What about you?”
“I haven’t… told them yet,” Fang Chi frowned. “I feel like it’ll be difficult.”
“Most families have a hard time with it,” Cheng Mo said. “Are you planning to tell them?”
“I have to,” Fang Chi stared blankly at the bamboo skewer in his hand for a while. “I just don’t know how.”
“Test the waters first, then think about how to say it,” Cheng Mo said. “You need to know their attitude before you can figure out the gentlest way to explain it.”
“Is there really any gentle way to say it?” Fang Chi frowned.
“‘I’m gay, I like men,’” Cheng Mo said. “‘Look at those two guys, they’re a couple and they seem pretty happy, right? I’m probably the same…’ Those are still two different ways of saying it.”
“Mm.” Fang Chi nodded.
“Who do you want to tell first?” Cheng Mo asked. “Your dad or your mom?”
“My grandpa,” Fang Chi said.
“…An elderly person?” Cheng Mo sounded surprised.
“Mm. He’s more open-minded, and…” Fang Chi’s voice lowered, “he loves me very much.”
The moment he said that, Fang Chi suddenly felt like something stabbed into his heart, a sharp, pulling pain.
Cheng Mo didn’t say anything. He clinked his beer bottle against Fang Chi’s and tilted his head back, drinking half the bottle in one go.
Fang Chi picked up his bottle and gulped down a long mouthful too, then wiped his mouth.
“If you ask me,” Cheng Mo spoke again only after a long while, “there’s no need to rush this too much. Is your boyfriend’s side pressuring you to tell them or something?”
“No. His family’s side has no pressure anymore, and he hasn’t asked me to tell them,” Fang Chi said. “But I have to do it soon.”
“Well… if you need it when you do tell them,” Cheng Mo thought for a moment, then took out his phone, tapped a few times, and held it out to him, “you can call me or my mom… maybe my mom can help explain things. This is her number.”
Fang Chi turned to look at him in surprise.
“Seriously,” Cheng Mo waved the phone. “My mom’s a pretty warm-hearted person. Save it, just in case.”
“…Thanks.” Fang Chi took out his own phone and saved the number. On Cheng Mo’s phone, his mother’s contact name was “Dear Sis.”
After barbecue and some porridge, Fang Chi and Cheng Mo returned to the dorm together.
Everyone in the dorm was already back. Fang Chi chatted with them for a while, took a shower, then lay back on his bed. He took the plate out and placed it beside his pillow, lying there with his arm under his head, staring blankly at the ceiling.
It was probably only today that Fang Chi truly understood why some people longed so much for “their own kind.”
They could empathize with you, know what you feared and what you wanted, know exactly where it hurt most.
Fang Chi had never expected he would need to face this issue so soon. He had always thought he’d slowly bring it up with his family first, let them gradually gain some understanding, and then after graduation, once things were stable, he’d tell them everything.
But Li Bowen, whose brain seemed stuffed full of water hyacinths, suddenly pulled this stunt. Nothing was certain yet, not whether Li Bowen would really start that farmhouse business, nor whether he would use that chance to tell Grandpa and Grandma something, but Fang Chi had no choice except to guard against it.
He could only come clean to his family when Li Bowen made a move. Otherwise both he and Sun Wenqu would end up in an extremely passive position, and he didn’t even dare imagine what would happen to his completely unprepared grandparents.
At first he had considered whether to tell Sun Wenqu about this. After thinking about it for a long time, he ultimately decided not to.
If Li Bowen really did say something in the end, it wouldn’t just be to target Sun Wenqu. The fact that Fang Chi had kicked Li Bowen into the pit that day might also be part of the reason.
He was the one who caused this. So he had to bear the consequences himself. He couldn’t let Sun Wenqu worry over him anymore.
But… no matter how much he thought things through, no matter how much he planned, compared to actually doing it, all of it felt pale and powerless.
Before bed that night, Sun Wenqu called him. Fang Chi rejected the call directly and sent a video request instead.
The moment Sun Wenqu’s face appeared on the phone screen, Fang Chi felt his heart jump, and the smile at the corners of his mouth spread wildly like an unleashed wild dog.
“Already in bed?” Sun Wenqu asked.
“No, just lying on the bed,” Fang Chi whispered. “Man, I was trying not to miss you. Then I saw you and started missing you again.”
“Then I should turn the video off,” Sun Wenqu laughed.
“Don’t,” Fang Chi lightly tapped the screen. “I can’t touch you or hold you, if you won’t even let me look, I’m gonna croak on the spot.”
“Look all you want then,” Sun Wenqu said with a smile.
Fang Chi giggled foolishly.
“Classes start tomorrow, right?” Sun Wenqu asked.
“Mm,” Fang Chi nodded. “I feel like I’m going to fall asleep in class.”
“I won’t lecture you,” Sun Wenqu clicked his tongue. “Think about it yourself.”
Fang Chi laughed. “Got it. I spend every day being lovey-dovey with a top student, so I’ve gotta at least make myself somewhat worthy.”
“You should sleep early. You haven’t touched books or sat in class properly for ages. You might really not be able to hold up these next few days,” Sun Wenqu said. Then suddenly he laughed, narrowed his eyes slightly, and tugged at his collar. “Wanna jerk off to some mushrooms?”
“Holy sh*t,” Fang Chi instinctively covered the screen, then turned to glance behind him. “Can you stop?! There’s a whole room of people here who aren’t asleep yet!”
“Wasn’t I being considerate?” Sun Wenqu smiled and traced a finger lightly across his collarbone.
“Dad!” Fang Chi shouted in a hushed voice. “Don’t do this! I’m still growing!”
Sun Wenqu laughed for quite a while before saying, “Alright, go to sleep.”
“I’ll try. I was kinda sleepy, then you pulled this stunt and now I’m wide awake…” Fang Chi sighed. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” Sun Wenqu blew a kiss toward the camera.
Fang Chi leaned over and kissed the screen too before ending the video.
Just like Sun Wenqu said, it had been too long since he’d properly sat in a classroom with textbooks. After fooling around for months, suddenly going back to sitting in class all day was genuinely hard to adapt to.
The first couple of days, because the material still felt fresh, Fang Chi managed to stay awake in class. But after a few days, he started getting sleepy.
If it had been before, he definitely would’ve just slept. College teachers weren’t like high school teachers anyway, they just lectured whether you listened or not.
But Fang Chi felt that after struggling so hard to get into a decent university, if he went back to aimlessly wasting his days again, he’d be letting both Sun Wenqu and himself down.
Still, in the dorm, only he and Zhang Junyi actually listened during class. The others seemed like they still hadn’t had enough fun yet.
“Fang Chi, you really don’t look like the kind of person who goes back to the dorm and studies,” Li Zheng said emotionally.
“I’m just flipping through stuff casually,” Fang Chi said. “What else am I supposed to do?”
“Play games, mess around on your phone, make calls, video chat, go shopping, get late-night snacks…” Li Zheng rattled off a whole list. “Such a rich life.”
“Oh,” Fang Chi answered.
Thinking about it, he really didn’t have time for any of that. Starting next week, he’d be training at the climbing club and also working part-time as a coach. His evenings and weekends would all be spent there.
“So cold!” Li Zheng smacked him once, then climbed onto his bed with his laptop to play games.
Fang Chi felt his adaptability was actually pretty strong. Within a few days, he’d adjusted smoothly to the routine of classes during the day, training at night, and part-time coaching on weekends.
The best part of every day, the most relaxing part, was talking to Sun Wenqu before bed.
“How’s the club?” Sun Wenqu asked.
“It’s pretty big, bigger than Chen Xiang’s place,” Fang Chi said. “There are a lot of people too. I’ve even met some of them before at competitions, so we kinda know each other. They’re all pretty easy to get along with.”
“And the coaching job? Mostly teaching kids?” Sun Wenqu smiled.
“Quite a few elementary school kids. There are some older ones too. The younger kids are fine, they look at me like I’m some kind of god and totally worship me. The older ones are annoying. Once they start thinking for themselves, they keep causing trouble,” Fang Chi clicked his tongue. “Oh, and there are two girls too, probably high schoolers. They’re actually pretty good.”
“Pretty?” Sun Wenqu asked.
Fang Chi thought about it. “Average. But they’ve got great figures, tiny waists, long legs…”
“Oh?” Sun Wenqu laughed. “Your attention’s focused in all the right places. At this rate, maybe you won’t even need to come out. Work hard enough and marrying a wife isn’t impossible.”
“Come on,” Fang Chi clicked his tongue. “Look, even with bodies like that right in front of me, my head’s still full of you.”
“You’re getting smoother with your words,” Sun Wenqu yawned. “Oh, I might not have time to call you tomorrow. We’re opening the kiln here, all the pieces are done.”
“Oh, so the work’s finished?” Fang Chi raised an eyebrow. “When does the exhibition start? Can you come see me?”
“Late November,” Sun Wenqu said. “It’s pretty troublesome. There’s a lot to do before and after the exhibition. Even if I come see you, I probably can’t stay long, maybe one or two days. Mainly because all the work is mine. If I leave too long, Ma Liang and his wife probably won’t be able to handle everything.”
“It’s okay,” Fang Chi said quickly. “Come after you’re done. A few extra days doesn’t matter.”
“I thought you’d miss me,” Sun Wenqu said.
“I’m already used to missing you,” Fang Chi laughed twice. “Oh right, do you still have money?”
“Yeah. I’ve been busy lately, nowhere to spend it. I just bought a jacket. Your auntie picked it out for me, not even five hundred yuan. She really knows how to live frugally…” Sun Wenqu clicked his tongue.
“When New Year comes I’ll buy you something pretty. I’ll buy you something over five hundred,” Fang Chi laughed. Then after a while he asked, “What date does your exhibition start again?”
“The 24th. Five days, I think,” Sun Wenqu said. “Not sure. Hu Yuanyuan handles all that.”
“Oh.” Fang Chi pulled over his notebook and checked the calendar. The 24th was a Saturday, perfect timing.
Sun Wenqu had once surprised him for his birthday. Fang Chi could still vividly remember the joy he felt when he suddenly saw Sun Wenqu outside the school gates.
Even though they had made the plate together for Sun Wenqu’s birthday this year, which was pretty romantic, the actual birthday had fallen on a weekday. All Fang Chi had done was call him and say happy birthday.
He wanted to surprise Sun Wenqu too, suddenly appearing at the exhibition, or maybe on the way there.
Thinking about it, around this same time last year was when he and Sun Wenqu first met. Even though the meeting itself hadn’t been pleasant, it was still something worth commemorating.
Fang Chi smiled. It was a little silly, but once he thought of it, the next half month suddenly didn’t feel so unbearable anymore because he had something to look forward to.
Over the next few days, whenever he had time, Fang Chi wandered around near campus. There were lots of flower shops, and he went into every single one, but he felt disappointed.
All the flowers were cut stems, and none of them had lily of the valley.
He wanted to buy a small potted flower for Sun Wenqu, preferably lily of the valley. If not, something else would do. But none of the shops near school had anything suitable.
After two days of searching without success, he went to Cheng Mo’s dorm, the legendary dorm where three out of four guys were gay.
All four of them were there. Two were taking naps, He Dongbao was watching climbing videos, and Cheng Mo was chatting with someone on the computer.
“What are you doing here?” Cheng Mo looked back at him in surprise.
“I wanted to ask you guys something,” Fang Chi smiled. “You’re familiar with this area.”
“You have to promise to visit the climbing team this week first,” He Dongbao immediately said.
“Didn’t he just go Monday?” Cheng Mo said.
“One more time,” He Dongbao turned to Fang Chi. “Okay? There are some technical issues I want you to explain to them. Just a few minutes.”
“Sure.” Fang Chi nodded.
“So what did you want to ask?” Cheng Mo asked with a smile.
“So, around here, is there a flower market, a bigger one?” Fang Chi asked. “I want to buy a potted plant.”
“What kind of flower?” Cheng Mo asked. “There’s a flower market next to the building materials market. Go out the west gate of our school and head straight north, cross the railway and you’ll see it. Not very big, but they’ve got the usual flowers.”
“I want to buy a pot of lily of the valley,” Fang Chi said softly, a bit embarrassed.
“Lily of the valley doesn’t bloom in November,” a guy on the top bunk who was taking a nap turned over. “Its flowering season is April to May.”
“Oh.” Fang Chi froze for a moment. He’d already felt awkward about a grown man buying flowers so he spoke very quietly, he hadn’t expected even the guy on the top bunk to hear him.
“Yeah, this is something Lu Yu would know,” Cheng Mo turned his head to look at the top bunk. “So what flowers are blooming right now? Pretty ones.”
“Hyacinths,” Lu Yu said. “They’re blooming now, can last a month. If it’s colder, they can last even longer.”
“What do hyacinths look like?” Cheng Mo asked.
“You’re holding a computer, look it up yourself.” Lu Yu turned over and went back to sleep.
Fang Chi went to the flower market and bought a pot of pink hyacinth. It was in full bloom, very lively and looked extremely pretty.
The shop had ceramic pots and also glass bottles with pebbles for hydroponic growing. Fang Chi chose the glass bottle, better not show off any ceramic pot in front of Sun Wenqu.
Cheng Mo even called to follow up: “Did you buy it? What color?”
“Pink,” Fang Chi said.
“Let me see…” There was the sound of mouse-clicking on Cheng Mo’s end, then he laughed. “Admiration and romance, pretty fitting. You’re giving it to your guy, right?”
“Mm,” Fang Chi smiled. “I’m going back in a couple of days.”
“When?” Cheng Mo immediately asked. “Hey, can I ask you a favor? If you’ve got time, help me out.”
“What favor?” Fang Chi paid extra for packaging. The shop owner brought out several cylindrical cardboard tubes for him to choose from; he pointed at a white one with a subtle pattern. “I’ll just go Saturday and have to come back Sunday night.”
“Depends on your situation, but if possible, help me buy some chestnuts, the roasted chestnuts from that stall at your school gate,” Cheng Mo said. “Bring me two bags.”
“For Xiao Yiming?” Fang Chi asked.
“Mm,” Cheng Mo said. “Keep it a secret for me. I’ll process it a bit and say I made them.”
“…Do you think I can keep a secret?” Fang Chi felt like laughing as he listened.
“You can,” Cheng Mo said firmly. “This concerns my future, you’ll definitely keep it secret.”
“Two bags, right?” Fang Chi asked.
“Two bags is a concept, equivalent to several bags,” Cheng Mo said. “Buy more so I can go see him more times.”
“Alright.” Fang Chi smiled.
***
He had already taken leave from the club for the weekend. Early Saturday morning, Fang Chi set off holding that rigid cardboard tube containing the hyacinth.
When he went back to school before, he carried a shoebox. Now he was carrying something like a big cake box… fortunately, across the aisle there was a guy holding a huge bouquet of roses.
Fang Chi didn’t know what Sun Wenqu’s reaction would be when he saw him. Anyway, he himself was very excited.
Sun Wenqu, on the other hand, felt so busy these days that he couldn’t even sleep properly. Whether his eyes were open or closed, he kept thinking about that set called “Growth,” always feeling something still wasn’t expressed perfectly, yet not knowing how to improve it further.
Ma Liang, however, didn’t feel that way at all, he was extremely satisfied with the set.
Sun Wenqu sighed. Maybe it was just because this piece carried over twenty years of feelings he couldn’t quite put into words. Whether he liked it or disliked it, this was the first time he had truly created something that expressed what he wanted.
Today was the first day of the exhibition. Ma Liang and Hu Yuanyuan had already gone early in the morning. Sun Wenqu got up late, by the time the exhibition opened, he had only just gotten out of bed, heading there together with the studio’s design director.
The director drove, and Sun Wenqu was still dozing off in the passenger seat. But before he could nap for long, Ma Liang called: “The old man has ar–arrived.”
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