Chapter 105
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The light of the blade flashed by, leaving a long cut on the lifeless body.
Jiang Yanchi’s figure was upright, like the silent mountains standing in the quiet end of winter, the faded green exceptionally stern.
The tip of the sword dripped with a little blood.
In the crimson color of blood, Su Mingan’s eyes were imprinted with an ashen look.
Both he and the young emperor in front of him knew very well.
In this protracted and consuming struggle that cost too many lives, ultimately, there was no winner.
Jiang Yanchi did not directly kill Su Mingan, but not long after, news came that Grand Tutor Su was seriously ill and incurable. The death of Zhao Lingqu extinguished the last glimmer of hope in Su Mingan’s heart.
Illness strikes like a collapsing mountain.
Suddenly, he dreamt of more than twenty years ago, on the icy desolate northern frontier, the once exiled and destitute prince, young and full of vigor, holding a long blade, carved the entire outline of Great Wei on the frozen yellow soil that was as hard as iron.
He said, “Do you believe, someday, I will make Great Wei like this?”
As he spoke, he extended the blade outward, extending the border lines.
He continued, “If I have the chance to be the emperor, I will definitely, definitely achieve it.”
Su Mingan didn’t know why he thought of the young man who stood like a pine tree in the freezing wind on the barren ice desert over twenty years ago.
“What if you can’t become the emperor?”
The young man sneered lightly from his throat, “I can become.”
“You have no backing, and now the Crown Prince is thriving. You have been deprived of military power and exiled to this bitter cold place. How will you…”
“To the capital, I will go back.”
The winter sun shone warmly on him, “I will leave a vivid and colorful brushstroke in the history books. I want the people of Great Wei to see the vast ice plains, boundless deserts, and towering peaks. I will be—an emperor remembered for eternity by generations to come.”
At that time, Emperor Xuanhe was only sixteen.
Who could have imagined that such an spirited young man would later brew the horrifying Yongan Rebellion.
Completely destroying the Yue Clan, stirring up internal imperial power struggles within Great Wei, causing the Qiang tribe to lose more than half of its land, and splitting the Northern Xiongs into thirteen tribes, starting endless internal strife from then on.
Was he clever?
Clever.
He achieved it.
He extended Great Wei’s territory to previously unimaginable distant lands.
But the cost was too great.
The destinies of countless people changed, and the pain lingered through generations.
In the early spring of the second year of Jinghe, Grand Tutor Su Mingan fell seriously ill. Emperor Jinghe went to visit him. At the moment of his death, the emperor said something to Su Mingan’s ear, causing him to instantly spit out a mouthful of blood.
He passed away in an instant.
Green willows budded, and old stumps sprouted.
It was another year of flourishing spring, with new flowers blossoming.
In the imperial tomb, outside the newly built tomb for the new empress, lush new grass had grown, with small white flowers blooming like stars.
This was the ninth time Xu Chunmu had seen him. Holding the war horse that had followed him for over a decade, he wore a plain white linen robe and offered a pot of clear tea in front of the grave.
“So, you’re my brother.”
He lowered his eyes with a sense of sadness, brushing away some dust on the tombstone. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
I actually.
To you.
The fingernail scratched across the stone tablet, leaving a white mark.
“I have no memory of those things. I know nothing about the Shen family… Your entire life has been destroyed by hatred, while I have been living carefree in the northern territories as a member of the Xu family. I’m sorry, brother. Now I finally understand why Grandfather never allowed me to enter the capital, why he gave the Marquis title to the eldest brother but entrusted me with the command of three hundred thousand troops. Why in the previous life, you clearly hadn’t seen me, yet you were willing to take the blame for me. Why in this life, you’ve done many wicked things but treated me with kindness…”
Xu Chunmu took the wine bag from his waist, and with a gulp, he drank several mouthfuls.
The spicy liquid burned down his throat but felt like ice shards, freezing his internal organs.
A touch of moisture appeared in the corners of his beautiful eyes.
“Chu Xie.”
“If, in that big fire, the one carried away by the Xu family was you, and the one picked up by Su Mingan was me.”
The moisture gradually condensed into a pool, causing a tingling sensation in the nose.
“Would your life be a little happier?”
The sensation of intoxication spread to his head. Xu Chunmu lowered his head, drank a few more sips, and the person who had never cried before shed two clear tears.
“Why was it you, with a frail body, who Su Mingan chose to pick up? Didn’t he know that you wouldn’t live long? Why did he raise you like this… At that time, you were just a five-year-old child, and I was just born… What did we do wrong? Why, for two lifetimes, can we only live like this? Why is it that only I am always saved…”
“Why, in starting anew, your life still has no hope.”
A warm breeze blew, brushing away a teardrop under his jaw.
Like a warm hand wiping away his tears.
As the sun set in the west, he got up and led the horse.
“Brother, I’m going back to the northern territories. This time, it’s to bid you farewell. I’ve understood the letter you gave me. I will guard the northern territories for thousands of miles and truly ensure the peace and prosperity of Great Wei. As long as the Changming Army exists, the Northern Xiaong will never set foot into our Great Wei territory.”
Mounting the horse, he looked back one more time, “Next winter, I’ll come to see you again.”
Whipping the reins, he left, leaving a trail of dust on the road.
***
This was Shen Chu’s third visit to Dr. Chen for a consultation.
Back in the present world for half a month.
Shen Chu felt, from the bottom of his heart, that it was longer than the more than ten years he spent in Great Wei.
This was the last psychological counseling session.
Dr. Chen said that the treatment could only reach a certain limit.
Many things in the future would depend on gradually adjusting emotions in daily life to achieve complete recovery.
“So, it’s not about a specific event but a particular person… All the events that exceeded your emotional threshold are related to that person, right?” the doctor summarized.
“It seems so.”
Dr. Chen continued to write on the notepad without lifting his head and asked again.
“What kind of person is he?”
“He is an impulsive and willful person, very smart but also like a child… In fact, he is just a child. Many times I don’t know what he’s thinking, I can’t understand him. Initially, I treated him like any other bystander, but he always found ways to intrude into my life, wanting to intervene in my life, and even, I can feel that he wants to control my life.”
The doctor frowned slightly, as if contemplating something.
“Control your life?”
“Yes, he seems to have a strong desire for control. Continuously interfering with my goals, constantly trying to impose his expectations on me…”
“What are his expectations then?”
Shen Chu hesitated for a moment, “Perhaps, to marry me, to have me as his.” When he said this, it was a bit unexpectedly embarrassing. Seeing that the door was tightly closed, he added, “His possessiveness and desire for control are very strong.”
The doctor pushed his glasses and pondered for a moment. “It seems not to be like that.”
“Doctor, you haven’t even seen him. How do you know he’s not like that?”
The doctor smiled and said slowly, “If you really believe this in your heart, then your reason would prioritize judging him as a dangerous individual. You wouldn’t let your heart approach him, trust him. It’s even more impossible for him to emotionally move you to repeatedly exceed your threshold.”
“Think carefully again about his expectations.”
Shen Chu seemed to become a little anxious.
The doctor didn’t press on with the inquiry, just patiently waited for him to contemplate.
However, in such contemplation, Shen Chu gradually became uneasy, even with a hint of evasive emotion.
“I don’t know what his expectations are. I only know mine. I just want to save my sister. I…”
The doctor immediately comforted his fluctuating emotions, simultaneously analyzed rationally, staring into his eyes as if trying to peer into the depths of his soul.
His words were soft but edged with a certain aggressiveness.
It was as if he wanted to pry open the intuition deep within him.
“Relax, right now, no one needs saving, and in reality, you can’t save anyone.”
“A person who doesn’t waver, feel sad, angry, or desperate, can’t even save themselves, let alone talk about saving others. Mr. Shen, what’s most important for you now is to cooperate with me, to heal your illness. Don’t evade my questions.”
“Think again, ask your emotional judgment, ask your heart. Rather than simply making a rational analysis of that person’s behavior. What is it that person really wants?”
In the doctor’s questioning, he began to sink his thoughts into this question.
Not asking reason, but emotion and the heart.
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