Chapter 106
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Closing his eyes, he refrained from relying on external stimuli like closing the windows, attempting for the first time in his daily life to feel something beyond logical reasoning within his memories.
Struggling to find himself.
Preventing himself from committing murder.
Engaging in transactions that were like a loss-making venture with himself.
Feeling irritated about using his body as a means to gain benefits.
He was sometimes unbelievably gentle and sometimes irrationally enraged.
Shattering his joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness one by one.
After being hurt countless times, he still chose to approach him again.
“What he wants is for me to let go of the past and be happy again.”
“Is that so? Are you sure this time?”
Are you sure?
Sure.
Shen Chu seemed to hesitate again.
“Yes. But he’s too young, and maybe there’s also an issue with me. In any case, when we truly get close to each other, we always end up arguing, even…”
The doctor raised an eyebrow slightly, as if finally understanding, “Are you in a romantic relationship?”
Shen Chu hesitated for a moment, thinking that they had gone through a marriage ceremony and had an intimate relationship, “Sort, sort of, it is.”
Dr. Chen’s lips curled up slightly, and he scribbled down a few more notes, “Could it be your student? How much younger, one grade?”
“Eigh, eighteen…”
The doctor’s pen paused.
Suddenly coughing lightly, he frowned, “High school student?”
“Close, close enough.”
Shen Chu didn’t know why he started stuttering.
The doctor laughed and no longer dwelled on his personal privacy, returning to the topic of the illness itself, which made Shen Chu breathe a sigh of relief.
“So, Mr. Shen, you are very fortunate. That girl is quite brave.”
“What?”
“Emotionally disturbed individuals usually misjudge others because they cannot accurately perceive the other person’s emotions. Communication difficulties are normal in intimate relationships. Among all close relationships, lovers are the ones with the most intimate emotional perception. Usually, in a romantic relationship, emotional changes are the most easily noticed by the partner. If you have a certain emotional cognitive disorder, then in this romantic relationship, your positive feedback must be very limited. That girl must have been in a state of extreme insecurity for a long time, often facing many communication problems. But she didn’t give up on you or distance herself from you due to various misunderstandings. Probably, it’s precisely because of those so-called ‘conflicts’ during those times of closeness, continuous emotional fluctuations breaking through the threshold, that has truly brought a turning point to your current condition.”
“Mr. Shen, in a way, that girl helped you. Perhaps, she should have taken you to see a psychologist earlier. But it’s strange. According to Miss Shen, you’ve been in a normal state for the past decade, this…”
Shen Chu wiped his nose with his fingers and turned his eyes away.
“Oh, me. Because I’ve been staying at school, and it looks pretty normal on the surface, so many times my sister might not be very clear. Plus, the claustrophobia did indeed relapse recently…”
“Oh. But there’s no need to worry too much. Your condition is already improving in a positive direction.”
The doctor nodded, “And congratulations, you found a young and beautiful girlfriend.”
“No, he’s* not…”
* note he/him pronouns sound the same as she/er
“She’s not beautiful?”
Shen Chu fell silent.
The doctor smiled, “Eighteen years old, where can you find an unattractive girl. Relax, Mr. Shen, my professional ethics are very high, and I will absolutely keep the patient’s condition and privacy confidential. I won’t even tell your sister.”
Visibly, his ears turned red.
Thinking carefully, Jiang Yanchi was indeed good-looking.
High nose, fair skin. Sharp features, yet warm eyes. A bit stern when not smiling.
Shaking his head forcefully, he knocked himself on the back of his head: D*mn, what am I thinking?
Walking out of the hospital dispiritedly, a few strands of clouds drifted across the clear sky. Shen Chu sighed deeply.
“It’s a good thing no one heard the conversation with the psychologist just now,” he murmured.
“Oh, no, I heard it quite clearly.”
A sudden voice in his mind startled him.
“You, you heard it!”
“Yeah, didn’t I say I heard it.”
“An eighteen-year-old girl, oh, Shen Chu, you’re into some fresh stuff. People might think you’re a pervert.”
A blush spread rapidly across his face, “I’m not!”
“How did you end up on that boat with Jiang Yanchi? That really puzzles me,” Original Chu said, “It’s unbelievable.”
“It’s probably… face.”
Shen Chu thought for a moment, “He was quite superficial in the beginning.”
“Heh, face?”
Original Chu sneered in his mind, “I was tortured to death by that b*stard.”
“…”
“Superficial, hmph. He, a prince born in the Cold Palace, managed to survive among several major forces and, in the end, took advantage of Su Mingan to kill me and avenge his mother’s murder. He cunningly secured the position of the crown prince, looking like a wallflower that’s easy to manipulate, but he’s actually very shrewd. He aimed for the throne from the beginning. I fought against him, so when I died, I knew that even Su Mingan would eventually fall into the hands of this scheming crown prince.”
He, he was talking about Jiang Yanchi?
Why does Shen Chu feel like the Jiang Yanchi he saw is completely different?
Very childish, not particularly shrewd.
Also cries a lot.
“Do you have any misunderstandings about him…”
“I’ve been killed by him once, what misunderstandings could I have.”
Shen Chu remembered that he had unlocked the original text.
In the original text, Su Mingan was indeed manipulated by Jiang Yanchi in the later stages, and within less than three years after boarding the plane, he immediately stripped him of his power. Not to mention restoring the country, he couldn’t even retain the Grand Tutor’s authority in his hands.
In just seven years, Jiang Yanchi had successfully promoted a group of new central ministers.
Completely ending the situation of power ministers dominating for nearly thirty years in Great Wei.
That is the way Jiang Yanchi should be in the book.
Shen Chu vigorously shook his head, feeling that something was off.
“But the Jiang Yanchi I saw really isn’t like that.”
Original Chu casually said, “That’s because his mother didn’t die. From the moment you saved Duan Se, his fate changed.”
Shen Chu hesitated, self-blaming bitterly, “Is it that if he hadn’t met me, Jiang Yanchi’s life would have been smooth, becoming a great king as described in the book, leaving a lasting legacy.”
“Is that so? No parents, having to carry the burden of hatred among a pack of wolves and tigers from a young age, facing survival challenges, only to end up with nothing but the cold power and the so-called fame throughout history throughout his life. I don’t think that’s a good life. Meeting you, he’s quite fortunate.”
Shen Chu asked in amazement, “You said you were skinned alive by him in the previous life. I thought you would hate him.”
“He didn’t skin me alive, but plenty of people would kill me. It’s thanks to him for this life, Xu Chunmu was able to survive in this hopeless situation. As long as he survives, I don’t want to hate anyone anymore.”
Shen Chu knew that feeling.
The feeling of something heavy that had bound him for half a lifetime, finally completely lifted, leaving behind a light and pleasant sensation.
As long as Little Yin could survive, he was also willing to completely let go of that heavy past and strive to embrace a brand new life.
The warm sunlight spilled onto one person’s head.
But it seemed to warm the souls of two people.
“Shen Yin, I will be counting on you.”
“You really won’t be reborn.”
“Yeah. This is good. I’ve said it before, this life belongs to you. You saved my sister, which is saving me. I won’t let you disappear. Chunmu probably also hopes that you can completely escape from that life without vitality and have happiness and joy again.”
For some reason, this sentence seemed to touch Original Chu’s deep inner feelings.
He remained silent for a long time.
“What kind of child is Chunmu?”
“Last life, I only saw him briefly, and in fact, I didn’t even exchange a few words with him.”
Shen Chu was stunned for a moment, then smiled gently.
“He’s very much like your father. Youthful and spirited, full of enthusiasm. He’s a natural born commander, and his military tactics are like a god. But his temperament is gentle, without any bloodthirsty aura. Just like the name given to him by Xu Yi, he’s a pure and upright good boy.”
“He’s a brother you can be proud of.”
The breathing sound in the darkness seemed to tremble slightly.
“That’s good.”
Under the shade of the trees, the birds chirped. This time, both of them fell into silence together.
Previously, Yuan Chu had mentioned that after completely relinquishing his body, his soul would gradually dissipate, disappearing completely in about half a month.
Now, it was exactly the fifteenth day since he returned to the present world.
He was about to leave.
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