Are All You Straight Guys Like This Chapter 18

The atmosphere in the private room was suffocatingly tense.

Even the boys who had been drunk and rowdy slowly realized something was wrong and shut their mouths.

The words Lin Ziqian had said to Ye Ran on the tour bus that morning still echoed in everyone’s ears. They exchanged uneasy glances—first at Ye Ran, then at Liang Feng sitting in the shadows.

…What was going on?

Why had Lin Ziqian asked Ye Ran that question?

Ye Ran sat in the corner, beyond the reach of the light. His mind went blank for a moment; his fingers tightened around the soda can as he slowly lifted his head.

Across the round table, Lin Ziqian was looking at him. The curve of his smile grew wider, the emotion in his eyes sharp and twisted—like something wild breaking loose—before he forced it down again.

…He was doing it on purpose.

Ye Ran’s throat felt dry.

Maybe no one else there cared whether he liked men or women. 

But Shen Shi—

Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe properly.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Shen Shi slouched lazily in his seat, as if he hadn’t even heard the question.

But Ye Ran’s vision swam. He knew he should lie—no one would ever know the truth anyway. Then he could keep being friends with Shen Shi. They could still go to class together, eat together, join club activities together.

He could still have such a good friend.

…But he couldn’t do it anymore.

He couldn’t lie to Shen Shi once and then keep lying forever.

If one day Shen Shi found out himself, that would be far more humiliating than this moment.

There was no need to let it get that far.

His fingers trembled slightly as he forced himself to set down the drink, trying to appear calm.

“Hey, did we forget to set a rule earlier?” the club president suddenly said cheerfully into the silence. “To keep things fun—if someone doesn’t want to answer a question, they can just drink instead. The point’s to have fun, right? Drink a cup and we move on.”

The vice president put down his glass, glancing at Lin Ziqian. “I agree.”

Yu Ting chimed in almost at once: “Me too!”

Lin Ziqian smiled pleasantly at them. “Of course, it’s fine not to answer. But I’m a bit of a stickler—if you skip the question, you’ll have to drink five glasses as a penalty.”

The newly relaxed atmosphere froze again.

Five glasses… How was that any different from forcing someone to answer?

Ye Ran closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, everyone else was sitting under the light—everyone except him, still in the dark corner.

“I can answer.”

He didn’t look at Shen Shi. His lashes lowered, and his voice was very soft.

“I’m not straight.”

…

Clatter—!

The window was suddenly blown open, letting in a shrill whistle of wind. Outside, the rain poured down in torrents; the distant mountain ridges were shrouded beneath heavy, rolling clouds.

In the silence that followed, the vice president stood and went to close the window.

“It’s freezing,” a girl joked. “Winter in the mountains really hits different.”

“Haha, yeah, even back home it’s never this cold,” her friend added quietly.

Everyone tried to ease the tension—except Yu Ting, who swallowed hard, staring at Shen Shi across the table.

His fingers clenched around his beer glass, and the fog in his alcohol-dulled mind cleared instantly.

…It’s over.

Lin Ziqian had blindsided him completely. Yu Ting had wanted to ease Shen Shi into the truth little by little, so he could back away from Ye Ran peacefully. But now—everything was ruined.

No one knew better than Yu Ting just how bad Shen Shi’s temper was.

No matter how calm or indifferent he seemed on the surface, once he made up his mind, Ye Ran would never come out of it unscathed—

A gay guy trailing after a homophobic one every day… If you thought about it even a little, it could never look good.

Especially when the two had been so close before. Now that the pretense had been ripped away, the backlash would only multiply.

Yu Ting felt like an ant on a hot pan, terrified Shen Shi would suddenly turn cold and walk out.

Please, for the sake of the days you’ve spent together, don’t give Ye Ran the cold shoulder right now.

If Shen Shi were to leave suddenly, there was no need to imagine how the others would look at Ye Ran—

Yu Ting sighed inwardly.

What the h*ll kind of mess is this!

Everyone was trying to liven things back up, tossing out words here and there. Every so often, someone would sneak a glance at Ye Ran, then quickly look away. Others just stared at the bottle, unsure whether they should keep playing or not.

Ye Ran sat there in silence, both hands placed properly on his lap.

His body was strung tight like a bowstring. The distance between him and Shen Shi felt wider and wider. His fringe fell low, hiding his eyes. After a few seconds, his stiff fingers loosened from his pants, and he reached out toward the bottle.

But just then, Shen Shi suddenly spoke.

“It’s my turn to be asked.”

His voice was light, but in the not-too-large room, it rang out clearly.

Everyone froze. Ye Ran’s hand also stopped in midair.

“Uh,” the club president tried to smooth things over, “the bottle hasn’t been spun yet.”

Shen Shi tilted his chin slightly. The light—split by the rotating disco ball—cast fragmented shapes across his pale, handsome face. He looked down, speaking carelessly:

“Look closely. The bottle’s pointing at the two of us.”

Us…?

Yu Ting caught that word immediately.

Following Shen Shi’s gaze, everyone saw that the bottle indeed pointed at the narrow space between Ye Ran and Shen Shi. It leaned a bit more toward Ye Ran, but from another angle, it could just as well include Shen Shi.

Once again, everyone’s attention landed on Lin Ziqian.

He propped his chin up with one hand, lazily twirling a lady’s cigarette between his fingers. Getting another chance to ask a question clearly surprised him—but the next second, he smiled, a faint, unreadable curve.

“Another question, huh,” he said with interest. “Then let’s ask the same one. Since you two are so close—Shen Shi, how about you? Are you straight?”

…

F*ck—!

The vein at Yu Ting’s temple bulged. His look toward Lin Ziqian was the kind reserved for lunatics.

He bit back the urge to explode, wanting more than anything to rush over and shut that man’s mouth.

Was he out of his d*mn mind? Hadn’t he gone far enough?

A few others had also realized just how dangerous that question was, and they frowned deeply.

Once again, the room fell into painfully awkward silence.

Only the sound of wind and rain came from outside the window.

All eyes turned toward Shen Shi. He lounged against the back of the sofa, appearing completely unconcerned—as if the question didn’t even merit an answer. One arm draped over the armrest, he didn’t lift his eyelids, his expression detached.

The longer his silence dragged on, the stranger the mood became.

Lin Ziqian’s eyes narrowed. The next moment, Shen Shi casually sat upright, reached for the bottle of liquor on the table, and, without hesitation, drank five glasses in one go.

“—Hiss…” A girl couldn’t hold back a gasp.

…What did that mean?

Did that mean Shen Shi wasn’t straight either?

No way.

The campus heartthrob wasn’t straight?

Seriously?

Everyone’s minds started racing, eyes darting wildly at one another. Even Yu Ting stood frozen, unable to believe what he was seeing.

Something wasn’t right.

Shen Shi wasn’t acting right.

A bad premonition prickled up Yu Ting’s spine.

Across the round table, Shen Shi set down the empty glass—but didn’t release it completely. Instead, he tapped the rim lightly, then cast Yu Ting a glance.

That look was pitch-black and cold, carrying a violent chill like the storm clouds boiling outside the window.

Yu Ting shuddered. He instantly understood what Shen Shi meant. “…Let’s keep going, then. But which of you two is spinning next?”

“I will,” said Shen Shi.

Then, in front of everyone, he turned his head slightly toward Ye Ran.

“Is that okay?”

In the darkness, he leaned down a little, almost lowering himself to meet Ye Ran’s hesitant posture. His voice was soft, so soft it sounded like a patient kind of reassurance.

“…Okay,” Ye Ran answered a beat late.

He glanced at the distance between them—now almost gone again—and his mind went completely blank.

This wasn’t right.

Shen Shi didn’t like being close to other men.

He tried to straighten up, but Shen Shi had already placed his hand on the bottle. Their shoulders nearly brushed. Ye Ran went still at once, sitting there stiff as a statue.

Click—click—

In this increasingly distorted game of Truth or Dare, the brown bottle spun again, wobbled a few times, then stopped—its long neck pointing straight at one person.

Shen Shi set down his glass with a light clink and looked at Lin Ziqian, whose smile had gone stiff.

“Wait—”

Meeting those cold, emotionless black eyes, the hairs on the back of Lin Ziqian’s neck stood up. His heart plummeted like a stone. He immediately blurted, “…I give up!”

“I’ll drink the penalty—five glasses!”

“That’s your rule,” Shen Shi said evenly. “My rule is—if you give up, you drink ten.”

Ten glasses. Enough to drink someone under the table.

Lin Ziqian fell silent completely.

The usual cocky grin on his face faded, replaced by something dark and heavy. He stared at Shen Shi for a few seconds, then leaned back and gave a short, bitter laugh.

“Fine. Ask. I’ve got nothing to hide.”

Shen Shi acted as if he hadn’t noticed the edge in his tone. In the soundless room, his indifferent voice was the only thing audible:

“Last weekend, I saw you and a guy checking into the Swan Hotel.”

Buzz—

Lin Ziqian’s face went white in an instant. His blood seemed to rush backward in his veins. He jerked his head up, lips trembling.

“Shut—shut up! I give up—”

“Who was he?” Shen Shi interrupted calmly, eyes still on him. “A friend?”

No one dared make a sound.

…Holy sh*t.

A huge scandal.

Moments ago, everyone had been joking about how close Lin Ziqian and Liang Feng were—now, they all turned to look.

Liang Feng’s face was black as soot, while Lin Ziqian’s eyes were red and bloodshot.

Seeing Lin Ziqian’s expression, that man definitely wasn’t Liang Feng.

Last weekend… Ye Ran hadn’t come to the club event. Someone said the fine arts department had a dinner? Then Liang Feng must have been at that dinner too.

Usually invisible, Liang Feng clenched his fists tightly under everyone’s sympathetic gaze.

He could put up with getting entangled with Lin Ziqian, could even endure Lin Ziqian’s stubbornness—but what he couldn’t tolerate was being stripped bare in front of everyone, having his face ground into the dirt.

“…Lin Ziqian,” he said, each word deliberate, locking eyes with Lin Ziqian’s flustered gaze, “that night at the Swan Hotel—did we sleep together or not?”

***

The game continued in an orderly fashion afterward, but the atmosphere hovered in an awkward middle ground.

The bottle never pointed toward Ye Ran again.

He quietly put on his coat and wrapped his scarf around his neck. The chaos of the night had exhausted him. Half his face was hidden under the scarf, his eyelids lowered, his expression calm and silent.

At some point, while everyone was laughing loudly at the vice president’s cold joke, he quietly stood up. He murmured to the girl next to him, “Going to the washroom,” and slipped away into the dark.

The girl blinked, stunned for a moment, then replied softly. Watching his back fade away, she suddenly felt a strange pang of sadness.

…It’s all Lin Ziqian’s fault.

The thought made her angry.

Using the game as an excuse—when really his intentions were filthy.

She turned her gaze back, ready to take a sip of water to cool her temper, and suddenly met Shen Shi’s eyes.

His gaze was steady and commanding, making resistance impossible. “What did he say to you?”

“He said he was going to the washroom…” she answered instinctively.

Shen Shi nodded slightly at that, stood up, and put on his jacket. “Thanks.”

Across the round table, Lin Ziqian and Liang Feng had already left—no one knew where they’d gone to “deal with” their sudden new boyfriend situation.

***

The hotel’s back garden.

Lin Ziqian stood in the corridor, head lowered, smoking.

The thin lady’s cigarette was half burnt. He knew Liang Feng was looking for him, but he had no desire to see him. Let Liang Feng panic for a while—it was just as well. They were about to end anyway. This time Liang Feng definitely wouldn’t forgive him, so he needed another way to stall.

…Shen Shi had actually been at the Swan Hotel that night.

Thinking of Shen Shi, his expression twisted with rage. He crushed the cigarette violently, staring neurotically into the rain curtain.

D*mn Shen Shi.

D*mn him to h*ll!

There was no awning above the corridor; the storm wind and rain whipped straight through, soaking his clothes.

He wore only a trench coat, one boot braced on a stone bench, when suddenly he heard footsteps behind him.

The sound was faint and uneven beneath the roar of rain.

He smirked faintly, even a little pleased.

Liang Feng sure came fast this time.

He lit another cigarette, looking at the dark clouds roiling across the sky.

Thunder exploded from within the clouds, a deafening crack that shook the air. The clouds boiled and churned like scalding water.

The footsteps stopped behind him, and Lin Ziqian said lazily, “You’re here. This time you came fast—”

“Bang—”

His pupils dilated sharply as a brutal kick sent him flying into the corner of the corridor. Pain seared through his body, stabbing deep into his bones like needles.

He gasped for air and turned, gritting through the pain.

Through the storm, Shen Shi stood against the light—tall, straight, a shadow cast over everything. He looked down at Lin Ziqian like one might look at a corpse, calm and cold.

A surge of danger flooded Lin Ziqian’s chest. He hadn’t expected Shen Shi, who always seemed indifferent to everything, to suddenly resort to violence.

His palm scraped against the ground, stinging sharply, but he forced a crooked smile. “What, can’t take a joke?”

“Mm.” Shen Shi walked toward him unhurriedly, voice light. “I can’t.”

Another punch landed squarely on his face. The pain radiated through every nerve, and Lin Ziqian groaned, curling up in agony.

Shen Shi’s gone mad. How could he dare—?

His collar was yanked up roughly. Outside, the raging wind howled like ghosts, hammering both of them with bullet-like raindrops.

After being beaten down several times—his dignity crushed beneath Shen Shi’s fists—Lin Ziqian finally saw it: the dark, vicious fury burning in Shen Shi’s otherwise expressionless face.

His body went numb with pain, his eyes half-shut. Still, he let out a crazed laugh, hissing like a venomous snake. “Go on then—hit me again… if I live through this—”

“I can afford it.”

Shen Shi’s voice came from above, cool and clear. His pupils were a pure, cold black, and the way he looked down at Lin Ziqian was as if at garbage, utterly devoid of warmth. “Try me.”

Lin Ziqian shivered violently, his face drained of all color. From Shen Shi’s tone, he finally heard a genuine, icy threat.

Shen Shi had lost it.

Completely lost it.

Fear finally took root in him. He swung weakly in retaliation, only to have his stomach crushed under Shen Shi’s boot. Shen Shi looked down at him, emotionless, those dark eyes unreadable.

For the first time, Lin Ziqian regretted ever provoking such a lunatic.

Lightning split the sky, thunder cracking overhead—just then, the sound of hurried footsteps came from behind them.

“—What are you doing?!”

Liang Feng’s figure appeared through the rain, panting hard, his whole body soaked, clothes plastered to his skin. The wind and rain roared past him as his gaze flicked from Shen Shi, standing tall, to Lin Ziqian, lying battered on the ground. “Shen Shi? …Are you trying to kill him?!”

He had searched nearly the entire hotel for Lin Ziqian, and all the frustration he’d been bottling up instantly turned into fury the moment he saw Lin Ziqian’s condition.

Lin Ziqian might have done plenty of messed-up things, but that didn’t mean Shen Shi could act this arrogantly!

What did he think this was? His own backyard?!

Liang Feng stared at Lin Ziqian, who was being pinned under Shen Shi’s boot. Lin’s usually immaculate appearance was now completely ruined—his hair was a mess, his trench coat torn, his face bruised and swollen. When he saw Liang Feng, his lips moved faintly, as if begging for help.

Liang Feng’s eyes instantly reddened. He threw a punch and charged forward. “Get the h*ll off him!”

…

Shhhhhh.

The sky seemed to split open, and the rain poured even harder.

Through the noise of the storm, Shen Shi said quietly, “I’m really sick of you people.”

His voice wasn’t loud, only Lin Ziqian could hear him.

Fear flashed across Lin Ziqian’s face, usually so full of arrogance. He struggled, shaking his head toward Liang Feng. “Don’t—”

Before he could finish, a scream rang out.

Bang—

Liang Feng’s throat was caught in an iron grip. Like a fish out of water, he had no power to resist before being slammed to the ground amidst flying mud and water. Shen Shi’s boot pressed hard against his stomach. His face flushed red and swollen from lack of air, his throat constricted so tightly he couldn’t make a sound—not even a gasp.

His face was turned toward Lin Ziqian.

Lin’s eyes widened in terror, his heart and soul tearing apart at the sight. He trembled violently, reaching up with shaking fingers to grab at Shen Shi’s sleeve, desperately trying to make him stop.

“See now?” Shen Shi’s voice came from above him. “I’ve put up with you both for long enough.”

Liang Feng let out a hoarse, strangled cry of pain.

Lin Ziqian’s facial muscles twisted, veins bulging. “I—I see.”

He understood all too clearly what Shen Shi meant. Numbly, he tried to look away, but his head was yanked back by the hair, forcing him to meet Liang Feng’s gaze again.

Shen Shi’s tone remained calm, his slender fingers tense with quiet strength. “Good. Then remember.”

“If you dare show your face in front of Ye Ran again—next time, you’ll be meeting him in the hospital.”

***

Yu Ting rushed out of the private room into the heavy rain, holding a service umbrella the waiter had handed him, his mind in turmoil.

He’d already searched the lobby—Shen Shi wasn’t there. That meant only the back garden was left. As he ran, he sighed inwardly, feeling nothing but frustration.

D*mn it, running into two idiots like this on a night out—who wouldn’t be in a foul mood?

The rain was getting heavier. The hotel’s main display screen had just issued a storm warning—expected to last three or four days. The club president was already negotiating with the hotel to extend their stay.

Good thing it was midterm exam week; the school had given everyone a self-study week, so no one needed to worry about taking leave.

Thinking of the missing Shen Shi made Yu Ting’s head ache again.

Shen Shi was homophobic… How was he supposed to face Ye Ran now that they’d be seeing each other all the time?

What a pain.

The umbrella shook violently in the wind, nearly flipping inside out. Yu Ting, soaked to the skin, hurried into the covered walkway—and then stopped dead after a few steps when he saw a familiar figure.

Shen Shi stood there, phone in hand, head bowed, wet bangs dripping with rainwater.

“D*mn!” Yu Ting shouted. “Shen Shi, where the h*ll have you been?!”

Panting, he strode toward him, still trying to figure out how to bring up the whole Ye Ran-is-gay issue. Then he froze, his gaze caught on the faint bruise under Shen Shi’s jaw.

Not that obvious, but from his shorter height, it was impossible to miss.

“…You got into a fight?”

Yu Ting’s eyelid twitched violently. It had been years since Shen Shi had lost his temper like this. The last time was at a barbecue joint when a guy from the next table picked a fight.

Just once and Yu Ting had never dared provoke him again.

Shen Shi looked at him and frowned. “That obvious?”

“No sh*t—it’s super obvious!” Yu Ting was dumbfounded, mentally running through the possibilities. “Don’t tell me you ran into Lin Ziqian and the others?”

Well, if he did, that was poetic justice.

Then he thought of Ye Ran, who’d gone back to the villa earlier. His emotions swung wildly, and without much thought, he followed Shen Shi’s pace toward the main hall. “Uh… when you came out just now, did you see Ye Ran?”

Shen Shi’s expression turned cold. He grunted an acknowledgment.

Oh, h*ll.

Wouldn’t even talk when Ye Ran’s name came up.

Yu Ting really wanted to sigh: being homophobic was practically an illness.

He felt like an overworked eunuch worrying about the emperor, muttering in exasperation, “I know your views on homos*xuality are… extreme. But you actually get along with Ye Ran just fine. There’s no need to make it a big deal. Can’t you just stay friends?”

Shen Shi didn’t answer, but his steps slowed.

Yu Ting kept on, trying to reason with him. “If you’re really mad, save it till we’re back at school, okay? We’re stuck here for who knows how long—if you start avoiding Ye Ran too obviously, how’s he supposed to face everyone?”

Shen Shi’s tone was unreadable as he asked, “What do you mean?”

“I mean… even if you want to cut ties, you gotta do it gradually, right? Honestly, you’ve always been the one chasing after Ye Ran. He’s never exactly clung to you. So to be fair, if you really can’t take it, then just tell him straight up—”

Yu Ting stopped mid-sentence, suddenly struck by what he thought was a brilliant idea. His tone shifted seamlessly.

“Ye Ran’s got a good personality. If you tell him you’re homophobic, he won’t bother you. You two have only known each other this year, cutting it off now, you’ve still got four years to meet other people. My advice? Be honest with him. Talk it out.”

Shen Shi suddenly turned and gave him a sharp look.

Yu Ting suddenly felt a chill. “What do you think?”

“I can’t go see him tonight,” Shen Shi said.

Yu Ting tried to be tactful. “Uh… sooner might be better, you know?”

Shen Shi replied, “I have a bruise on my face. He’ll notice.”

Oh.

Right.

Yu Ting thought for a moment. “Then tomorrow, I guess. Don’t overthink it, if Ye Ran knows you’re homophobic, he’ll probably change how he treats you anyway… huh?”

There was suddenly no one beside him. Yu Ting turned his head, confused.

In the pouring rain, Shen Shi stood in the middle of the corridor, eyes downcast, his black hair shadowing his face so his expression couldn’t be seen. In Yu Ting’s dawning realization, Shen Shi said coldly, “He won’t change.”

“Nothing will change.”

…

Yu Ting stared blankly at him. From the moment of that truth-or-dare game, a deep, ominous feeling had been gnawing at him—and now it surged up again.

His eyelid twitched hard; his heart pounded against his ribs. “I mean—”

He licked his dry lips, his gaze flicking over the bloodstained edge of Shen Shi’s clothes, and, in a half-joking tone, he asked, “That attitude of yours is weird as h*ll… don’t tell me… you already knew Ye Ran wasn’t straight?”

Inside, a storm was raging.

Reason told him Shen Shi had to be straight. There had never been a sign otherwise. But countless fragments of memory flashed through his mind like shards of light:

Shen Shi chasing after Ye Ran to join the astronomy club;

Shen Shi waiting on the third floor after class every day;

Shen Shi insisting on taking food back to the dorm instead of eating in the cafeteria…

Honestly, he’d never treated any of his kindergarten girlfriends that well.

Yu Ting stared at Shen Shi, waiting for an answer.

Shen Shi didn’t even lift his eyes. No reaction.

A rush of blood went to Yu Ting’s head.

“You knew…” He reacted fast, his voice incredulous. “You actually knew?!”

Impossible.

His eyelids twitched faster; all the little suspicions from before now lined up into proof.

Shen Shi had f*cking known all along that Ye Ran was gay???

“Yeah,” Shen Shi said easily, not stingy with his answer. “I knew.”

“Then before—”

Thinking about all his past attempts to test things, Yu Ting nearly forgot how to breathe. Then another, even more shocking thought hit him. “…You’ve been pretending not to know this whole time?”

Of course.

He should’ve realized it. Even he could tell Ye Ran wasn’t straight—how could Shen Shi, who’d drawn admirers of every gender since childhood, not notice?

When it came to stuff like this, Shen Shi might react slowly, but he definitely wasn’t dull.

After spending so much time together day and night—how could he possibly not notice what Ye Ran was?

Shen Shi looked at him, still silent.

Yu Ting’s scalp tingled. “Aren’t you afraid Ye Ran will find out?”

This whole situation was even more f*cked now.

A homophobe pretending not to know the other guy’s gay? That just sounded downright sinister.

…

Thunder cracked outside. Rain lashed the eaves.

Lightning lit up the world.

Shen Shi was silent for a moment.

Then he raised his eyes, calm and expressionless, and said to Yu Ting, “It’s fine. I’m bent too.”

***

Yu Ting sat alone on the stone bench in the corridor, numb after the shock.

Shen Shi was definitely crazy.

Absolutely, completely insane.

His way of solving a problem was just to create a new one.

A man who’d been straight for nineteen years decided to turn gay—for friendship.

What a touching story. Truly moving enough to bring tears to anyone’s eyes.

If it were anyone else, Yu Ting would’ve laughed his *ss off, spread the news everywhere, and let everyone share in the fun.

But this was Shen Shi—Shen Shi, who always did what he said he’d do.

A chill climbed from Yu Ting’s feet to the top of his skull. Staring out at the storm, he thought he must’ve owed Shen Shi a debt in a past life to end up his cursed friend in this one.

His eyes were blank.

A “gay” who’d just decided to be gay, and a man who was actually gay—if they kept this up, it was obvious who’d end up hurt.

I’m doomed, he thought.

He opened WeChat and found Ye Ran’s contact.

I’m totally doomed.

He closed his eyes briefly, choosing his words carefully.

I’m totally doomed and I must’ve owed Shen Shi money.

Then he sent the message.

—You there?

After a minute, a reply came.

Ye Ran: [I’m here. What’s up?]

Ye Ran’s tone was distant and polite—much more cautious than before, when he’d replied with cute bunny emojis.

Yu Ting sighed helplessly. [Sorry to bother you this late, but there’s something I really need to tell you.]

After a short pause, Ye Ran replied: [Is it about Shen Shi?]

—Yeah.

Ye Ran: [Go ahead.]

Yu Ting struggled to find the right words, typing and deleting several times.

—So, uh, Shen Shi just told me… he’s bent now too.

He sighed and kept typing.

—I think maybe he’s too shocked and kind of… messed up about it.

—You’re Shen Shi’s really good friend. I’ve never seen him treat anyone like he treats you. Maybe he’s afraid of losing you, so he’s convinced himself he’s like you—that way you two can keep getting along peacefully.

—But I thought about it, and if he’s really brainwashed himself into being gay, that’s… not a good thing for you.

—You don’t need to feel guilty toward him because of your orientation. Shen Shi said he’d vaguely guessed something about it, but even knowing, he still wanted to be your friend.

—So I want to ask you to go talk to him. Maybe right now, you’re the only one he’ll listen to.

—He’s in the corridor of the back garden, though I’m not sure exactly where.

…

The rain was coming down harder and harder.

The sky churned, heavy and dark.

Shen Shi sat on the steps of the covered walkway, watching with a kind of lazy indifference as the rain linked together like strings of glass beads.

His long legs were loosely bent; his half-damp hair was pushed messily back, revealing cold, sharp eyes edged with irritation. He couldn’t calm himself. If he went back to the villa now, he might run into Ye Ran.

The rain poured, the wind swept wildly.

Another gust of rain spattered beside him; Shen Shi glanced over, then looked away.

Footsteps approached rapidly behind him.

They stopped close by, their uneven rhythm nearly drowned out by wind and rain.

He didn’t turn around. He listened as the person stepped up beside him, hesitated a few seconds, then crouched down.

Yu Ting finally knows how to read the room, he thought absently.

Time trickled by. Outside the eaves, the rain no longer whipped in wild arcs but fell in heavy sheets, splattering hard against the ground.

Shen Shi began to sense something was off.

Yu Ting was never this quiet.

He turned his head slightly, eyelids lifting with careless indifference and met a pair of clear, gentle eyes lowered toward him.

His mind went blank for an instant.

Sh*t.

His tongue pressed to his cheek; instinctively he shifted his angle to hide the bruise on his jaw.

Ye Ran’s hair was slightly wet, his down jacket darkened by water.

The skin around his eyes was faintly red, and the small tear mole at the corner of his eye hung delicately, sliding down with the curve of his lashes. His black turtleneck hid his jaw. His voice was quiet; he didn’t meet Shen Shi’s eyes as he slowly said, “…I’m sorry.”

“I lied to you.”

It was as if the world had gone silent except for the sound of wind and rain.

The downpour formed a barrier that sealed them off from the world.

Shen Shi’s throat moved; his dark gaze fixed on Ye Ran’s tired eyes. His voice was low. “I lied to you too.”

Ye Ran looked up at him.

Shen Shi met his gaze calmly. “I know your secret.”

Ye Ran blinked involuntarily. After a long pause, he asked quietly, “How did you know?”

He had thought he’d hidden it well—he’d never talked about anything related to men in front of Shen Shi.

Shen Shi was silent for a few seconds, eyes dropping slightly as if recalling something. Then he said, “One night, you said you were fine showering with Lin Feipeng.”

Ye Ran froze. Wasn’t that the day after he’d claimed he was straight?

Shen Shi continued, “When Lin Feipeng kept making suggestions, you agreed to everything without hesitation.”

Ye Ran swallowed, trying to recall that day in detail, but in his confused state, the memories blurred together.

As if sensing his panic, Shen Shi’s tone softened; amid the patter of rain, only his voice could be heard.

“You’re not that kind of person. Everything changed because I said I hated gay people.” Shen Shi’s voice grew even quieter. “Ye Ran, I’m sorry.”

Ye Ran’s fingers curled slightly. His heartbeat quickened for no reason. “No… everyone’s free to like who they like. You don’t need to… change yourself because of me.”

Shen Shi slowly lifted his eyes, the black depths of them falling on Ye Ran’s face.

Thinking of what Yu Ting had told him earlier, Ye Ran’s heartbeat gradually steadied. Guilt washed over him. He hadn’t expected Shen Shi to take his being gay so deeply to heart that he’d somehow come to believe he was, too.

…Shen Shi really was such a good person.

Having a friend like this was worth everything.

“Shen Shi, we can still be friends,” Ye Ran said. “Friends don’t need to bend over backward for each other.”

His thin, phoenix-shaped eyes shimmered softly under the dim light; his lashes were long and fine. Shen Shi stared at him for a few seconds, then looked away and asked casually, “Yu Ting found you?”

Ye Ran said nothing.

Shen Shi nodded slightly. “Then he must’ve told you, I’m gay now.”

Ye Ran’s heartbeat sped up again. He pressed his lips together and said earnestly, “You’re not. You’re just… a bit confused.”

Shen Shi answered with calm patience, “I really am gay.”

Ye Ran shook his head, his gaze growing more helpless. “You’re not.”

To turn himself into what he’d once despised, Shen Shi must be a mess inside.

“Ye Ran,” Shen Shi said, pronouncing each word clearly, “I’m gay.”

“There’s no saving me.”

Dark clouds rolled in from every direction, blocking out all light.

Huge raindrops fell from the massed clouds, slamming into the puddles in the garden and splashing up in an endless chain of ripples.

Ye Ran froze. His body, stiff from staying in one position too long, barely moved. In the dim light, Shen Shi’s eyes were dark and bottomless.

Ye Ran met his gaze for a few seconds, then stubbornly lowered his eyes again and said quietly, “You’re not, Shen Shi. You’re straight.”

Shen Shi didn’t answer, only his expression turned a shade fainter.

Outside, wind and rain clashed.

Inside, it was dim and silent.

Ye Ran stayed crouched quietly behind him. After a long while, Shen Shi suddenly spoke, his voice mixed with the sound of the rain, cold and calm.

“Ye Ran, I really am gay.”

“I’m the same as you. I’m a homos*xual.”

Ye Ran was stunned. His heart began to race uncontrollably; this time he couldn’t think of anything to say. He only lowered his eyes, crouched behind Shen Shi, trying to find a way through it.

Shen Shi seemed to sense something and turned his head. With that same even, detached tone, as if wanting to imprint it into Ye Ran’s memory — he repeated, “Ye Ran, I’m gay. I’m—”

What gay are you! 

What do you even know!

Ye Ran clenched his teeth, shut his eyes, and crashed forward, hitting the side of Shen Shi’s face. He didn’t even know where his lips landed — the touch was soft and cool.

His ears burned hot. He stood up at once, trying to hide his unease. The cold wind brushed across his face, cooling the warmth lingering on his lips.

He looked down at Shen Shi, who still sat where he was, expression unreadable, and said each word clearly: “Shen Shi, people like me are the ones who are gay.”

And Shen Shi — he was still straight.

Maybe he would, because of Ye Ran, hold a temporary tolerance toward homosexuality, but as time passed, that tolerance would fade.

Between a straight man and a gay man, there was a wall — One that could never be broken.

After speaking, Ye Ran felt a surge of guilt and quiet desolation. Shen Shi must be feeling disgusted. Hopefully this would make him truly come to his senses.

Here — this was where their friendship could end, neatly and completely.

“You’re like what?” Shen Shi spoke unexpectedly, slowly, raising his head. His gaze fell on Ye Ran’s face. “Like what?”

Ye Ran forced himself to answer, “Like someone who can… kiss another man.”

“Oh.” Shen Shi nodded. “I can too.”

Ye Ran glanced at him, and his pounding heart gradually steadied.

How could you?

Your ears and neck are red with anger.

Shen Shi’s skin was pale, his features sharp,  his brows and eyes especially striking, dark and deep like ink. Because of that, every bit of color stood out like the faint red climbing up his neck and ears when he was angry.

Right now, that red was unmistakable. 

Even though his expression remained calm and indifferent, that hint of color betrayed his true emotions.

Ye Ran didn’t argue further. He only said quietly, “I can also do a lot of intimate things with another man.”

Shen Shi rubbed the tips of his fingers together on his knee. “So can I.”

Ye Ran looked at the deepening flush on the side of his neck.

…Just thinking about it makes you this angry?

He took a slow breath. Seeing Shen Shi stubbornly pretending composure, he hardened his resolve, suddenly crouched down, and once again brushed a quick kiss against his cheek. The touch this time was even softer, warmer, heated.

His heart pounded so hard his eardrums trembled. 

Even though he tried to ignore it, every sensation was magnified. He straightened up, his ears burning, shame prickling at him; the hand in his pocket clenched and unclenched.

“How about this time?” he asked.

Shen Shi didn’t answer at first. His expression was still faint.

Head lowered, his posture looked loose, even lazy but there was something possessive, predatory in it. The air around him was heavy, thick with repressed emotion, almost overflowing.

Ye Ran pressed his lips together in guilty silence.

After a long moment, he heard Shen Shi’s low, hoarse voice: “Mm.”

“Mm”? 

What did “mm” mean?

Ye Ran was a little lost. But when he saw the telltale flush on Shen Shi’s neck, he hesitated, then said softly, “You’re not clear-headed right now. We…”

“When you’ve cleared your head tomorrow, we’ll talk again.”

He turned, picked up the umbrella tossed in the corner, and with controlled, even breaths, said quietly, “I’m sorry for overstepping just now. I’ll go first.”

He didn’t ask whether Shen Shi wanted to walk back together. His retreating figure was nearly a flight.

He opened the umbrella, stepped into the rain and wind, palms sweating with tension, his heart sinking to the bottom of the sea.

Shen Shi— He was still homophobic after all.

Thinking of Shen Shi’s reaction just now, Ye Ran fell silent.

That method was far too extreme. 

He couldn’t use it again.

——

That night, having drunk too much, Yu Ting felt his nerves gradually ease once he returned to his room.

Outside, the rain and wind roared.

Inside, the warm air hummed softly.

The heating wrapped him in gentle warmth. He’d been anxiously waiting for Ye Ran’s news, but as time passed, drowsiness overtook him. Lying in bed, he drifted in and out of sleep and even dreamed.

In the dream, Shen Shi wanted to cut ties with him for taking it upon himself to find Ye Ran, even threatening to make his title as Chief Eunuch of the Inner Palace come true; severing both his sons and grandsons.

The cruelty of it was terrifying.

He was jolted awake by the sound of a WeChat notification, drenched in sweat, heart pounding.

Sh*t.

Was that dream prophetic? Was Shen Shi really going to break ties with him—and beat him up too?

Shivering, he remembered that Ye Ran had gone to find Shen Shi and scrambled to open WeChat—

[Shen Shi]: Thanks, brother.

Yu Ting: “?”

[Shen Shi]: I’ll definitely invite you to my wedding.

Yu Ting: “???”

…

Oh.

He suddenly understood.

It was a dream within a dream.