Ye Ran was so tired he couldn’t keep his eyes open. His voice was drowsy, and even when Shen Shi pushed at his waist, he barely reacted. His body was soft, limp like water. He coaxed him in a light, hoarse voice: “…Tomorrow. Try again tomorrow.”
As soon as the words fell, he was about to fall asleep.
His sleep habits had always been good. He didn’t stay up late, didn’t drink. When it was time to sleep, he slept. When it was time to wake, he woke. Once he entered deep sleep, unless something special happened, he wouldn’t wake easily.
His thoughts turned muddled again.
One second before sinking into sleep, Ye Ran’s waist was pushed again. That burning hot hand, damp with sweat, kept touching his waistline, brushing, lingering. Shen Shi’s voice was raspy and slow, low in the muffled darkness under the blanket: “Why do your words not count.”
Ye Ran, irritated awake again, finally lifted his eyelids. His thin phoenix eyes, lacking sleep, drooped tiredly. Flushed with pale red, they curved into two faint folds.
“Enough,” he said weakly. “A kiss, right? …Okay.”
He truly didn’t understand where Shen Shi got so much energy.
In the real world, he was the same. Constantly waking him in the middle of the night, pressing him into the blankets and endlessly tormenting him.
A mature man in his thirties, full of tricks, heavy with desire, his long-trained body strong and solid, muscles shifting smoothly, hard everywhere. Once he shed his elegant suit, he became like a starving, ruthless beast. Once he bit down, he would not let go. He had to swallow every bit clean before he was satisfied.
Normally it was fine. But once he went on a business trip for more than three days, the man who rushed back from another province would be even more ferocious. He could empty the entire bedside drawer, using everything on him while laughing lowly.
And when Ye Ran cried, he would hold him with aching tenderness, voice hoarse as he kept calling him “baby.”
Ye Ran was already thirty, yet Shen Shi still called him baby at home. His gaze toward him was still as hot and gentle as when they were twenty.
Ye Ran felt momentarily dazed.
Dark seed. Young Shen Shi’s gaze on him was also extremely focused.
Silent, intent like a mirror that trapped only him within.
No matter how much time passed, whether time moved forward or backward, Shen Shi’s gaze on him was always unwavering.
In those deep pupils, from beginning to end, there was only him.
Ye Ran closed his eyes. The helplessness of being woken slowly shifted into indulgence.
…It was just one kiss.
He felt guilty. Little Shen Shi was still so young, still homophobic. Who knew how much mental preparation it took for him to say such words.
And the current young Shen Shi was so pure. If they kissed, he would be the one taking advantage.
Ye Ran pushed himself up. The thin blanket slid down with the curve of his body, piling at his waist.
His gaze softened, not noticing the slight movement of Shen Shi’s throat. Ye Ran leaned forward of his own accord. His flexible, warm body carried the scent of chamomile. The fragrance was so real it seemed to seep into Shen Shi’s tense nerves strand by strand.
Shen Shi clenched his fists. Amid the violent pounding of his heart, he felt the presence drawing closer.
Breath brushed his jaw. Ye Ran leaned in and gently kissed his cheek. Like a father coaxing a disobedient child, he said with affection: “There. Sleep.”
Shen Shi: “…”
Shen Shi: “?”
For a moment, Shen Shi’s heart nearly stopped. When Ye Ran’s figure was about to pull away, he suddenly grabbed his wrist. He grabbed very tightly, too forcefully. Ye Ran made a confused “hm?” sound.
“What is it?” Ye Ran asked.
Shen Shi’s face was dark. He didn’t know where the sudden anger came from. He just felt uncomfortable. The kiss on his cheek was as light as a dragonfly skimming water, not even a full second before it was gone.
…Who kissed like that.
Ye Ran was obviously treating him like a child.
As expected, homosexuals were deceptive and untrustworthy.
“Is that what you call a kiss?” he demanded sharply.
“Yes,” Ye Ran’s temper was gentle. Being grabbed didn’t make him resist. He simply knelt lazily on the bed, leaning against him as he coaxed casually: “Should I kiss you again then?”
Shen Shi swallowed the words he was about to say: “…Fine.”
He pressed his thin lips together. This solution felt sincere enough.
Ye Ran opened his eyes in surprise, not expecting him to actually want another kiss. Just as he was about to speak, Shen Shi added stiffly: “Don’t worry. I’m not interested in men.”
“I’m straight,” Shen Shi said. “Even if you kiss me, I won’t feel anything.”
So it was just a trial. Just experiencing what love felt like beforehand.
Shen Shi thought righteously.
After those words, the dorm fell silent.
Ye Ran didn’t speak. After waiting a long time, Shen Shi frowned and glanced over uneasily.
The night was too deep. He couldn’t see Ye Ran’s expression. The faint light of the air conditioner fell behind Ye Ran, outlining the warm body leaning sideways.
A strange anxiety crept up. His fingertips twitched, voice low: “Hey, Ye—”
Before he could finish the name—
Someone grabbed his neck and kissed him.
Shen Shi jerked violently. His hand on the sheet clenched the blanket at once, forming a fist.
A rush of pleasure tingled across his scalp. His lips were pressed by another soft, wet pair, gently rubbing. Ye Ran kissed very slowly, very lightly, leaning closer and closer.
He wasn’t sure if he imagined it, but it felt like Ye Ran was kneeling on his legs, faintly pressing against him. The pale, delicate skin of his waist was exposed, and Ye Ran guided his hand upward.
With a ringing buzz, Shen Shi’s body froze like stone. He didn’t dare move. Like a dazed beast driven only by instinct, drifting among the clouds, he heard Ye Ran’s voice faintly.
“Come on. Open your mouth,” Ye Ran said with a smile, a smile carrying some undefinable meaning. “Since you’re straight… if we kiss deeper, it’s fine.”
The world flipped over.
Everything spun, overturned.
Shen Shi saw Ye Ran open his mouth. The soft, flushed tongue-tip extended slightly, like a fruit swollen with juice, glistening with sweetness, hooking his gaze. His dark eyes locked on it, and if Ye Ran hadn’t held the back of his neck, he would’ve already devoured him.
Ye Ran didn’t tease him long. After a soft laugh from his nose, he fed him the taste himself.
Shen Shi’s mind melted with pleasure. He struck the bedboard hard, unable to use force on Ye Ran.
He pushed forward recklessly, without technique, chased by Ye Ran’s lazy teasing, pursuing his tongue like a starving wolf that hadn’t eaten in three days, greedily sucking and kissing.
He didn’t know his own strength. He even liked to bite.
Truly like a wild cub not yet tamed.
His body was hot like heated steel. The room was set at twenty degrees, yet Ye Ran was covered in sweat from his heat.
After kissing for only a short while, Ye Ran felt it was about enough. His fingers were buried in Shen Shi’s hair when his tongue got bitten again. Before he could hiss from the pain, Shen Shi immediately realized his mistake and clung to him, sticky and coaxing, licking nonstop.
Sensing vaguely that things were about to get out of control, Ye Ran’s overheated mind cooled. He tightened his grip on Shen Shi’s hair, intending to pull him away but the next second, the two big hands that had been obediently resting on his waist suddenly moved.
They grabbed his waist hard and lifted him up, pinning him against the wall.
Shen Shi lifted his eyelids, looking up at him from below. His eyes were deep and unfathomable, ink swirling inside so dense one couldn’t see the bottom.
Ye Ran knew this state all too well.
His eyelid twitched. He forcibly turned his face aside, panting rapidly as he said, “Wait… no more kissing, Shen Shi, aren’t you a straight—”
Before he finished, there was no reply. The boy’s slender, upright body pressed forward, eyes bloodshot, lowered lids hiding the ferocity beneath. He pinned Ye Ran’s wrists and kissed him deeply.
The bedframe shook.
Ye Ran knew he had messed up. Once Shen Shi started kissing, he lost all restraint. Helpless, Ye Ran could only guide him, slowly teaching him how to kiss long and gently, instead of tormenting only the tip of the tongue.
As expected, Shen Shi calmed under his coaxing but within seconds, unable to endure any “neglect,” he squeezed himself between Ye Ran’s legs again, both hands glued to his waist like someone had used 502 glue.
Then Ye Ran abruptly snapped back to himself. His eyelid twitched wildly, his waist going weak. “Shen Shi? Shen Shi, calm down—”
Eyes closed, driven purely by instinct, the baited boy impatiently sought his lips.
The bedframe clanged from his fist.
Ye Ran was kissed again. After a long moment, he finally heard Shen Shi panting, voice hoarse and sticky at his ear as he called softly, “…Ye Ran.”
Like a small creature that had found its den, full of attachment and dependence.
Ye Ran’s heart melted at the way he said his name. He couldn’t help lifting his hand to brush aside Shen Shi’s sweat-damp bangs.
“Mm? What is it?” he asked gently.
From beneath the fringe, the boy revealed deep, unfathomable eyes like a bottomless abyss fixed on him. It was a gaze, cold and vicious, utterly unlike his voice.
“Your kissing skills are really something.”
“Where’d you learn them?” Shen Shi smiled slowly, releasing Ye Ran’s waist, his gaze roaming across Ye Ran’s face as if searching for any trace of guilt.
“I want to learn too.”
Ye Ran: “…”
Ye Ran: “…………”
Is he… playing me?
Ye Ran’s heartbeat stuttered. He suddenly felt inexplicably guilty, like someone caught cheating. Then he realized, wasn’t the one who taught him… Shen Shi himself?
He sighed internally and tried to explain, “I didn’t learn it.”
“Oh?” Shen Shi stared at him.
Ye Ran said, “It’s natural.”
Before Shen Shi could speak, he continued casually, “Same as sexual orientation. Born that way.”
Shen Shi’s expression was blank, an expression that shouldn’t exist on such a youthful face. It belonged only to the thirty-year-old Shen Shi: cold, cruel, dangerous.
A subconscious reaction, the instinct that surfaced whenever he sensed danger.
When Ye Ran looked again, Shen Shi’s lips were curved in a cold smile. He gave a short nod. “Born with it… fine.”
He turned away, back rigid with suppressed anger. “I’m sleeping.”
Ye Ran felt something was wrong. He wanted to say more, but there was no way to explain away his “kissing skill” issue. He could only sigh, pretend not to hear the meaning in Shen Shi’s words, and close his eyes to sleep.
Not long after, the quiet was suddenly broken by Shen Shi’s voice.
“Ye Ran.”
Ye Ran, half-asleep, already drifting off, answered instinctively, “Mm?”
Shen Shi: “Is kissing me any different from kissing him?”
Ye Ran, overwhelmed by sleepiness: “No—”
No difference at all.
It’s all the same person.
Before he finished speaking, he jolted awake and corrected himself, “No, there is no one else.”
Shen Shi fell silent.
After a long time, he let out a quiet “oh.”
Behind him, Ye Ran’s breathing grew uneven like he was nervous, maybe guilty.
Shen Shi lay still, counting the rhythm of Ye Ran’s breaths until they gradually evened out, becoming long and steady. Only then did he turn over, staring at Ye Ran’s profile in the dark.
Ye Ran slept very quietly.
Raven-black hair scattered softly across the pillow.
His lips, red and swollen from kissing, were lightly pursed, the plump lower lip still bearing faint marks from being bitten.
Shen Shi tore his gaze away irritably and thought with eerie calm:
Whether Ye Ran has practiced kissing or not has nothing to do with me.
I don’t need to care.
After all, one of us is a straight man, and the other is gay. We’re destined to walk different paths.
Right.
Whether Ye Ran has dated before also has nothing to do with me.
His thoughts were cold. His eyes remained fixed on Ye Ran’s peaceful face.
A few seconds later, he shut his eyes, unable to suppress the violence beneath.
His fist, hanging at his side, clenched unconsciously, veins bulging.
—
The next morning.
When Ye Ran woke to the alarm, Shen Shi was already standing beside the bed, expression blank. Morning light outlined his tall, straight figure.
He glanced indifferently at the still-dazed Ye Ran, smoothed his wrinkled uniform, and said coolly, “I’m leaving.”
Ye Ran yawned and nodded.
Maybe it was an illusion, but he thought he saw very dark shadows under Shen Shi’s eyes.
As if he hadn’t slept at all.
Just as Ye Ran was about to look again, he heard Shen Shi say, in an unusually distant tone:
“There’s something I need to make clear. You know I’m straight. Last night I was just trying something out.”
“From now on at school, we’re just ordinary classmates.”
Ye Ran: “?”
Ye Ran raised a brow, lowering his hand from his yawn. Slowly, one word at a time, he repeated, “Ordinary classmates?”
“Mm,” Shen Shi said. “Do you have any conditions? I’ll abide by them.”
Ye Ran rested his chin on his hand, thinking. “Actually, there is one.”
Shen Shi straightened imperceptibly, listening intently. “Go ahead.”
“I hope you keep last night to yourself,” Ye Ran said.
“After all, I’ll be dating in the future.” Ye Ran drawled, glancing at Shen Shi’s face darkening instantly. “I’m afraid it’d be hard to explain to my boyfriend.”
Author’s Note: Little Shen’s blackening process begins. After blackening, he goes full yandere/obsessive mode.
