Shanyi truly hadn’t expected that to be the question. He froze in surprise.
Seeing his reaction, Zhao Baozhu hurriedly explained: “I-I absolutely don’t mean any disrespect toward Brother Liu, ”
He bit his lip and muttered quietly: “I’m just curious…”
Coming back to himself, Shanyi looked at Zhao Baozhu with amused eyes. “So that’s all? I wondered what it was. There’s nothing unaskable about that.”
Watching Zhao Baozhu stammer and squirm, Shanyi thought to himself that filthy old dog You Qian had clearly left a shadow in the young man’s heart. His eyes darkened slightly. Given Zhao Baozhu’s appearance, it really was best to explain things clearly to him. If he ever encountered someone blind enough to harbor improper thoughts, at least he’d know what to expect.
So Shanyi lifted his eyes toward him and asked in a low voice: “Do you know how things work between a man and a woman?”
The moment Shanyi said it so directly, Zhao Baozhu’s face instantly turned scarlet. His lips moved several times before he finally muttered: “Of course I know.”
Then, in a smaller voice: “Brother Liu, speak more quietly. What if someone hears?”
Shanyi raised a brow. Embarrassed already? In this deserted wilderness, who exactly was going to hear them?
“It’s basically the same idea.”
Still mindful of Zhao Baozhu’s thin skin, Shanyi gestured for him to lean closer, then lowered his head and whispered several sentences into his ear.
Zhao Baozhu bent nearer. At first his face showed confusion, then sudden shock. After that, his expression changed several times in rapid succession. His brows knotted tighter and tighter until finally, as though he truly could not bear hearing more, he shot upright from the stone bench.
“Th-this—”
Zhao Baozhu stared at Shanyi in astonishment, his lips trembling soundlessly. Then, with an indignant flick of his sleeve, he began pacing circles on the spot. Only after several laps did he finally stop and turn back toward Shanyi with utter disbelief.
“H-how can that possibly work?” Zhao Baozhu cried, brows tightly furrowed. “How can such a thing exist in this world?!”
Looking at his utterly scandalized expression, Shanyi found it unbearably funny. He failed to hold back a snort of laughter. Zhao Baozhu’s eyes widened furiously at him, which only made Shanyi laugh harder until he was practically clutching his stomach.
Zhao Baozhu became both embarrassed and angry from being laughed at. “What are you laughing at?!”
Only then did Shanyi barely manage to stop laughing. Wiping tears from the corners of his eyes with his thumb, he still sounded amused. “Oh heavens, my good lord, you’re far too innocent.”
Zhao Baozhu’s expression shifted several times. After a long silence, he stammered: “H-how was I supposed to know it was actually—”
He abruptly cut himself off!
He simply could not say the words aloud.
Shanyi looked at his mortified expression with amusement. Leaning back on his hands against the rock, he raised a brow toward Zhao Baozhu. “What’s the big deal? Men can’t produce children anyway. Isn’t it all just for pleasure?”
For a moment Zhao Baozhu was utterly speechless.
Face flushed crimson, he glared at Shanyi. The man’s features sparkled brilliantly when he smiled, like sunlight shining across snow. Such a handsome and dignified man, how could the things coming out of his mouth be so crude?
Zhao Baozhu stood there for quite a while before finally calming down enough to return and sit back on the rock.
Seeing his brows tightly furrowed and his whole face scrunched up like a little stone statue deep in thought, Shanyi deliberately teased him: “So embarrassed already? The young masters of the capital’s noble families have far more bizarre tricks than this. I haven’t even told you half of them yet.”
Unexpectedly, Zhao Baozhu suddenly whipped his head around, his gaze fixed on Shanyi’s face in shock. “D-don’t tell me… Lord Cao, he—”
Shanyi froze for a moment before immediately realizing what Zhao Baozhu had misunderstood. He let out a cold snort. “As if he’d dare!”
Only then did Zhao Baozhu relax in relief.
He silently digested things for a while longer, sneaking a few more glances at Shanyi. Unable to suppress his curiosity any longer, he finally asked: “But someone like Brother Liu… how could you willingly—”
In Zhao Baozhu’s understanding, a true man ought to stand tall between heaven and earth. Setting aside how relations between men defied conventional morality, merely the idea of a man acting charming and submissive before another man, currying favor and lowering himself, was already unbecoming of a real man.
Zhao Baozhu simply could not understand how someone as free-spirited, dashing, resolute, and fearless as Shanyi could willingly let others manipulate him and accept such a stained reputation.
Though Zhao Baozhu did not say everything outright, Shanyi immediately understood what he meant. He gave a careless snort, phoenix eyes glimmering brightly.
“What’s wrong with that? They looked down on me with their dog eyes and treated me like a toy. But little did they know, in this kind of thing, the one who enjoys himself is the one who wins. He played with me? Hah. As if I didn’t play with him too. We were even.”
That entire speech left Zhao Baozhu stunned.
He only half understood Shanyi’s words, yet the man’s easy, carefree attitude stirred a genuine sense of admiration within him. Zhao Baozhu could not help saying: “Brother Liu truly is an open-minded man.”
Though his words really were crude.
The alcohol was finished, and so were the dried persimmons. Shanyi casually picked up a flowering twig and held it between his teeth.
“Still, someone like me has always lived freely and carelessly. A proper gentleman like you shouldn’t take my words too seriously. But if some man ever sets his sights on you, my lord, you must tell me first. I’ll split him in half with one sword stroke!”
Zhao Baozhu nodded vaguely, seeming only half to understand.
He wanted to say that no man would ever harbor such thoughts toward him, but when the words reached his lips, for some reason he failed to say them aloud. His expression even became slightly distracted.
Shanyi did not notice anything unusual. He looked up at the sky and said: “It’ll be dark soon. Once the night wind rises, it’ll get cold quickly. We should head down the mountain.”
Zhao Baozhu startled and looked upward. Sure enough, dark clouds had begun gathering overhead, as though rain were coming.
The two hurried down the mountain together.
Sure enough, the moment Zhao Baozhu and Shanyi stepped back into the yamen, a torrential downpour immediately began outside.
Even after returning to the yamen, Zhao Baozhu did not rest. Before leaving earlier, he had promised to help the scholar Cheng Wenxiu sort through the accounts, so the two lit several oil lamps and bent over the desk together, abacuses clacking noisily beneath their hands.
They worked like this until deep into the night. The court runners and even Cuiniang from the kitchen had all gone home long ago, yet the two of them were still checking accounts.
Ah Long emerged carrying a freshly brewed bowl of medicine. Seeing the two of them hunched over with furrowed brows, their faces illuminated only by candlelight amidst the darkness, he nearly dropped the bowl in fright.
“Old Master.” Steadying himself, Ah Long set the medicine beside Zhao Baozhu and urged gently: “Old Master, it’s very late. You’re still ill, you should hurry and rest.”
“What illness?” Zhao Baozhu did not even lift his head as he waved him away impatiently. “My illness got better ages ago. Off to the side with you!”
Then he suddenly remembered something. Looking up at Cheng Wenxiu, who was still fiercely battling the account books, he glanced outside at the darkened sky and said: “It is getting late. Wenxiu, why don’t you head home first?”
Cheng Wenxiu immediately jerked his head up, eyes wide. “How could that be? If My Lord hasn’t rested yet, how could this commoner rest first?”
Under the candlelight, Zhao Baozhu looked at his face and suddenly burst out laughing. Pointing at him from across the table, he said: “Why aren’t you going home? I think you’ve gone muddle-headed!”
A streak of ink had somehow ended up straight across Cheng Wenxiu’s upper lip, making it look hilariously like a mustache. Even Ah Long started laughing. “Hahaha! Excellent! Scholar Cheng’s become Old Scholar Cheng!”
Cheng Wenxiu froze, then hurriedly wiped at his face. Seeing the black ink all over his hand, his cheeks instantly flushed bright red.
Watching his expression change so dramatically amused Zhao Baozhu even more, and he laughed again.
When Cheng Wenxiu looked up, he saw Zhao Baozhu laughing openly in the candlelight. Rather than becoming angry, he merely touched his face good-naturedly and said: “I’ve made a fool of myself before My Lord.”
Seeing him react so mildly instead made Zhao Baozhu feel embarrassed for laughing. He coughed lightly and turned serious. “I mean it. Go home already. There’s not much left, I can handle the rest myself. Ah Long, fetch a lantern and escort Scholar Cheng out.”
Ah Long agreed, but before leaving he shot Zhao Baozhu a glare. “Old Master had better drink this medicine! If I come back and the bowl’s still sitting here, then don’t even think about doing any more accounting tonight!”
Zhao Baozhu’s hand paused mid-motion. Raising his hand, he pretended he was about to smack him. “You little brat, now you’re trying to control me?”
Ah Long dodged away nimbly and made a face at him before taking the lantern to escort Cheng Wenxiu home.
Cheng Wenxiu clearly did not want to leave Zhao Baozhu alone with all the accounts. He kept looking back every few steps and only reluctantly departed after Ah Long practically shoved him out the door.
After the two left, Zhao Baozhu buried himself back into the ledgers. For a while, the only sound left in the yamen was the crisp clacking of the abacus.
When Ah Long returned, he discovered exactly what he had feared, the bowl of medicine beside Zhao Baozhu remained completely untouched. Several medicinal stems floated on the surface, and the soup had long since gone cold.
Ah Long nearly coughed up blood from anger. “Old Master! You still didn’t drink your medicine!” The child’s face was so angry it had practically gone pale. “How can you do this? You never keep your word!”
Seeing he had genuinely upset the boy, Zhao Baozhu immediately softened guiltily. “Alright, alright, I’ll drink it right now.”
With that, he picked up the bowl of cold medicine and gulped it down in one go.
Ah Long was instantly horrified, then stomped his feet in frustration. “Oh heavens, my Old master! How can medicine be drunk cold? The medicinal properties are cooling already!”
Zhao Baozhu blinked innocently. “Well… I already drank it.”
“Ah!” Unable to do anything about him, Ah Long sighed heavily like a tiny old man, glared fiercely at Zhao Baozhu one more time, then turned and went to the kitchen to steam him a soup of lily bulbs, white fungus, and red dates.
Watching him bustle away made Zhao Baozhu chuckle. Setting down the bowl, he once again immersed himself in the account books.
The night deepened.
The lights inside the county yamen remained lit until the third watch before Zhao Baozhu finally finished tallying the accounts and arrived at a definite figure for the You family’s staggering corruption.
Once everything had been fully counted, Zhao Baozhu stood before the desk staring silently at the shocking numbers written across the rice paper.
Candlelight illuminated his quiet face, revealing a pair of dark eyes burning with anger. His expression was taut and severe as flickering shadows crossed his features. For a moment, even he could not tell whether he hated the You family more for sinking roots so deeply into this land, or the generations of corrupt officials who had enabled them.
The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. Unable to restrain himself, he slammed a palm down on the desk.
“A pack of snakes and rats! They all deserve to be dug up and fed to dogs!”
Unexpectedly, the shout seemed to awaken Ah Long, whom Zhao Baozhu had earlier forced back to sleep.
Zhao Baozhu immediately froze and dared not make another sound. Only after hearing no movement from the back room did he quietly set aside the account books, extinguish the lamps, and return silently to the rear courtyard. After washing up briefly, he finally went to bed.
After exhausting himself the entire day, Zhao Baozhu fell asleep the moment his head touched the pillow.
At first he slept soundly enough.
Yet perhaps because he had drunk cold medicine, or because the medicinal properties clashed with the alcohol, he began dreaming halfway through the night.
In the dream, Zhao Baozhu’s brows were tightly furrowed.
At first he dreamed that somehow the You clan had escaped prison and were once again bullying the common people in broad daylight. Furious, he rushed forward and kicked one of them flat onto his back. Zhao Baozhu flipped the man over, only to find he could not see the villain’s face clearly. Though indistinct, he somehow knew it was one of the You family.
The surrounding crowd of onlookers also had blurred faces, but Zhao Baozhu was too consumed by anger to notice he was dreaming. He simply continued beating the man relentlessly.
Just as he was really getting into it, a voice suddenly echoed from nowhere.
“Baozhu.”
The voice was ethereal beyond description and carried a hint of sternness. The moment Zhao Baozhu heard it, he instantly knew who it was and turned around in delight.
As soon as he turned, he saw Ye Jinghua standing tall amidst a haze of rain and mist.
The surrounding townsfolk vanished. The rolling You family member on the ground also disappeared.
The world around him suddenly became quiet and empty.
In Zhao Baozhu’s eyes, only Ye Jinghua’s jade-like face remained, brows lightly knit, eyes lowered toward him.
“Young Master!”
Zhao Baozhu saw himself rush forward joyfully and throw himself into Ye Jinghua’s arms.
Inside the dream, he seemed to lose all rationality. The moment he opened his mouth, his true feelings spilled out: “Young Master, I missed you so much. It’s been so long, why haven’t you even come to see me once?”
If awake, Zhao Baozhu would absolutely never say such things.
But dreams were a false realm where truth resembled illusion and illusion resembled truth. Unable to control himself, Zhao Baozhu watched as he not only buried himself against Ye Jinghua’s chest, but wrapped his arms tighter and tighter around him like climbing vines.
Yet dream-Ye Jinghua behaved strangely.
Unlike his usual gentle self, he merely stood there silently, eyes lowered toward Zhao Baozhu without moving at all.
Zhao Baozhu grew anxious and tugged at his sleeve. “Young Master, why won’t you speak?”
Ye Jinghua still said nothing. His eyes remained calm as water and cold as ice. The indifferent attitude made Zhao Baozhu even more frantic. As though bewitched, he suddenly leaned closer, rubbing his cheek against the man’s jade-like face.
“Why are you ignoring me? Does Young Master not dote on me anymore?”
Dream-Zhao Baozhu felt terribly wronged.
At first he had only intended to move closer and examine Ye Jinghua’s expression more clearly. Yet amidst the confusion, something somehow went wrong, and suddenly his lips brushed directly against the man’s pale pink ones.
The moment their lips touched, Ye Jinghua’s expression abruptly softened into something gentle as water.
The surrounding mist thickened. The damp scent of rain soaking into earth spread all around them. Still muddled and half-conscious, Zhao Baozhu only felt a pair of hands slowly slide onto his back.
He remained too dazed to understand what was happening. Arms looped around Ye Jinghua’s neck, he merely felt confused.
Why was Young Master taking off his outer robe?
The rain mist was cold enough already.
It truly was cold.
And growing colder by the moment.
Zhao Baozhu shivered violently and suddenly opened his eyes, waking with a start.
Cold white moonlight streamed in through the window and dazzled his eyes. From outside came the layered chirping of crickets and grasshoppers in the grass. The night wind carried the chill of early autumn, brushing across Zhao Baozhu’s face and cooling the sweat that covered him.
Zhao Baozhu sat blankly on the bed for a long while before finally coming back to himself.
So in his nightmare he had kicked the quilt onto the floor, which was why he felt cold.
Zhao Baozhu dazedly sat there for a while, then slowly got up, climbed down from the bed to pick up the quilt on the ground. Yet once he stood up, he felt terribly thirsty again, so he simply put on his shoes and socks and went to the back kitchen to pour himself some water.
Having suddenly woken from sleep halfway through the night, Zhao Baozhu was still groggy, his eyes half closed as he walked all the way to the backyard and scooped half a ladle of water from the water vat to drink.
Only after the sweet, cool spring water went down his throat did Zhao Baozhu become a little more awake. Still feeling thirsty, he bent down again, preparing to scoop another ladle to drink.
However, at just that moment, he suddenly heard a “ka-da” sound beside his ear.
Zhao Baozhu’s motion of scooping water paused. Suddenly, he caught a flash of brightness at the corner of his eye. Looking carefully, he discovered that a jade pendant had fallen onto the ground. The green jade gleamed delicately beneath the moonlight, and carved upon it was the character 「hui」.
Zhao Baozhu’s heart jolted. This was the jade pendant Ye Jinghua had given him.
This jade pendant was precious, so he ordinarily did not dare display it openly and only kept it close to his body. Just now, while scooping water carelessly, it must have slipped out from his sleeve.
Afraid it had been broken from the fall, Zhao Baozhu hurriedly bent down to pick it up.
Yet in that lightning-flash instant, there suddenly came a thunderous boom beside his ears. His vision immediately went white, and as though enlightenment had descended upon him, everything from the dream abruptly exploded forth within his mind!
Zhao Baozhu was instantly struck as if by lightning. The color drained from his face, his hand trembled, and the wooden ladle immediately fell to the ground.
“Ka-da.”
Along with a crisp sound, the spring water in the ladle splashed onto the ground, wetting Zhao Baozhu’s boots.
Yet at this moment Zhao Baozhu did not even know to dodge. He only stood there with parted lips, frozen in place, his soul seemingly leaving his body, leaving him terrified and panicked beyond control.
Right then, Ah Long in the back room heard the noise and groggily walked out. Seeing Zhao Baozhu standing in the backyard, he rubbed his eyes and said: “Old Master, what are you doing? It’s cold at night.”
Only then did Zhao Baozhu’s entire body shudder, his soul returning to its place. His lips trembled as he forced himself calm and said, “I-I was thirsty. Looking for some water to drink. Hurry back to sleep.”
Ah Long was sleepy to death. Seeing Zhao Baozhu standing beside the water vat, he did not become suspicious and merely gave an “Mm,” before turning around and going back inside.
Only after hearing the sound of the door closing did Zhao Baozhu finally let out a long breath. Lowering his head, he looked at his reflection in the water vat. Ripples spread out in circles, and Zhao Baozhu saw the flush on his face that not even the night could conceal.
Though Zhao Baozhu had never experienced such matters between men and women, he was not stupid, and his mind was clear. Shanyi had only taught him about relations between men that morning, and that very night he had such a dream. In his heart, Zhao Baozhu already understood.
He had actually developed improper thoughts toward Ye Jinghua.
Originally he had not remembered, but then that jade pendant had happened to fall before his eyes, illuminating his spirit platform. Now his feelings had nowhere left to hide, and even that vague dream from when he had first become aware of such matters came rushing back to him in full!
Zhao Baozhu paced around the courtyard, his face alternating red and pale. The first thing he felt was unbearable shame. Raising his hand, he slapped himself twice with loud smacks. Ye Jinghua was his great benefactor! He had saved him from danger, provided him with good food and drink, and imparted all his learning and literary talent without reservation. For such immense kindness and virtue, he had repaid it with such crooked thoughts!
Utterly shameless! Zhao Baozhu gritted his teeth and cursed himself inwardly.
Yet before this wave of shame could subside, a sudden sharp pain struck his chest.
Zhao Baozhu’s whole body trembled. He opened his mouth and gasped for breath. His fingertips went numb and could not move, his limbs stiff as stone, as though he had suffered some acute illness, his body no longer under his control.
Supporting himself against the water vat, Zhao Baozhu took two deep breaths before finally regaining a bit of strength, then hurried back into the room.
He had only just sat down by the bed before two tears fell before he even had time to catch his breath.
Zhao Baozhu watched helplessly as the two drops smashed onto the back of his hand, two crystalline beads that soon merged together, and before long the entire back of his hand was wet.
One hand clutching at his collar, Zhao Baozhu cried so hard he could not speak. The pain in his chest was of the exact same origin as the pain he had felt when he first left the capital and bid farewell from afar to Ye Jinghua in his top scholar’s robes, yet now it was… a hundred times worse than before.
The long-delayed rainstorm from the capital had finally arrived, and in the end it drenched him completely.
Had these feelings never been awakened, that would have been one thing. But once awakened, Zhao Baozhu knew his feelings were nothing more than foolish fantasy. A person like Ye Jinghua, even after parting in the capital, he would likely hardly ever have another chance to see him again, much less since they were both men. Merely thinking of such a thing that defied human morality made him feel he was desecrating Ye Jinghua.
Zhao Baozhu sobbed once and fiercely wiped away his tears. Though rationally he knew this was only delusion, emotionally, his heart still hurt terribly.
If he had realized these feelings immediately, there might still have been a way to stop them. Yet in the end he lacked that wisdom root. By the time he belatedly came to his senses, the roots of love had already grown deep, beyond all possibility of reversal.
But Zhao Baozhu was ultimately not one of those hopelessly lovestruck fools. After crying for half a quarter hour, he eventually stopped.
Since there was no room for turning back, then he would simply keep this affection for Ye Jinghua silently within himself. Under no circumstances could he betray the kindness the young master had once shown him because of these despicable thoughts.
Holding the jade pendant engraved with the character “Hui” in his hand, Zhao Baozhu had no trace of sleepiness. In his heart he silently reminisced over every little moment spent with Ye Jinghua. Just like that, he sat woodenly beside the bed for half the night, accompanied by moonlight, forcing himself to remain awake until dawn arrived.
***
The next day, early morning.
Ah Long got up and made breakfast. After calling many times without Zhao Baozhu coming out, he anxiously paced outside the door. Could it be that his illness had worsened again?
Worried in his heart, he was just about to push the door open when he saw it open from inside. Zhao Baozhu appeared in the doorway, dressed in official robes as usual, though his hair was somewhat messy, one strand drooping over his forehead.
The moment Ah Long saw him, he was startled. “Old Master, why does your complexion look so terrible?”
He saw Zhao Baozhu’s face pale, dark shadows beneath his eyes, his gaze misty and unfocused, his whole complexion poor and lacking spirit. Immediately worried, he said, “Has your cold illness flared up again? It must be because Old Master refuses to take his medicine properly.”
Zhao Baozhu lifted his eyes to glance at him and softly rebuked, “Nonsense. I’m not sick.” Then he turned and walked out of the room.
Ah Long hurriedly followed him outside. The two sat at the dining table to eat. Seeing Zhao Baozhu holding a steamed bun in one hand and taking large mouthfuls of porridge as though his appetite was still decent, Ah Long slowly relaxed.
Looks like he’s not sick.
Ah Long thought silently. Yet he still felt Zhao Baozhu’s complexion looked wrong, so while eating he continued observing him. After scrutinizing him for a long while, he still could not figure anything out.
Zhao Baozhu did not notice the look with which he was being observed. While eating, he suddenly remembered something and said, “Have there been any more letters from the capital lately?”
Ah Long froze upon hearing this, then suddenly understood something. His expression abruptly changed, stupid, stupid, stupid! What an idiot he was! Wasn’t this completely obvious? If it wasn’t illness, then what else could explain such a haggard appearance? It had to be that young lady in the capital making Master lovesick!
His thoughts raced while he answered aloud, “I haven’t seen any letters arrive.”
Zhao Baozhu immediately frowned. By calculation, the letter he had sent should have arrived long ago, so why had the young master not written even a single reply?
And seeing his expression and state only further confirmed Ah Long’s theory of “lovesickness.” He snickered inwardly. Look at that, usually he looked like some kind of King Yama. But when it came to the one in his heart, he even minded not receiving a letter! Men, men,
Ah Long shook his head like a little adult and waggled his brows at Zhao Baozhu. “I know why. With Old Master’s personality, the letter you wrote must’ve been all formal business. First saying how grateful you are to them, then mentioning congratulations on taking office, and finally saying not to worry about you. Then the whole letter ends! Not a single intimate word. Of course they wouldn’t want to reply!”
After speaking seriously at great length, Zhao Baozhu immediately widened his eyes and snapped, “What nonsense are you talking about!”
Yet then he paused and thought carefully about it. It seemed Ah Long had actually guessed correctly. At the time he had not understood his own feelings, and that letter really had been all official business. Just the words of gratitude toward Ye Jinghua alone filled three pages, and he repeatedly told him not to worry. There truly had not been a single intimate word.
The more Zhao Baozhu thought about it, the uglier his expression became. After a long while, he glanced at Ah Long and said, “Then… should I write another letter?”
Ah Long smiled even more brilliantly than the rapeseed flowers in the fields and immediately scampered off to fetch paper and brushes. “Write! Write as many as you want! The more the better!”
Young ladies all liked sweet words. Once that young lady saw Master’s letter, who knew how delighted she would be!
