Chapter 52: “Then let’s die together.”
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Guan Shu seemed unwilling to listen to any explanations. He bent down, lowered his head, and firmly grabbed hold of Shen Yao’s chin before kissing him directly.
Inside the empty private room, with no lights turned on, the dimness intensified the sense of detachment. The lips were sucked and nibbled, causing a tingling sensation. The sound of footsteps and conversations from the corridor seeped in through the closed door, as if someone could walk in at any moment.
However, it seemed that Guan Shu didn’t hear a thing, or perhaps he simply didn’t care. Embracing Shen Yao, he vented all his anger through this kiss, and the sound of their kissing reverberated loudly in the room without any pause.
Shen Yao’s legs involuntarily weakened, and his back pressed against the door panel, sliding uncontrollably downwards until he was lifted up by Guan Shu’s hand.
“Pa.”
In the midst of struggling, they unintentionally hit the switch behind them, abruptly illuminating the room. Shen Yao’s phone, which he held in his hand, vibrated once again, but before he could look at it, Guan Shu snatched it away.
Guan Shu held the phone, glanced at the screen displaying the name “Yan Zhixing.” The kiss, which had just subsided, reignited with even more intensity and force than before.
As the ringing of the phone gradually faded, Guan Shu finally stopped. He opened his eyes and locked gazes with Shen Yao, his gaze domineering and oppressive.
With a single touch of Guan Shu’s finger, while Shen Yao’s breathing had yet to calm, he answered the call and switched on the speakerphone.
“When are you coming back?”
Shen Yao had been away, including the time spent kissing, for over ten minutes. He pursed his lips, trying his best not to let Yan Zhixing hear his disheveled breathing.
Just as he was about to speak, Guan Shu’s palm suddenly tightened around his waist. Shen Yao, caught off guard, let out an audible gasp.
Yan Zhixing also heard it and furrowed his brow, asking, “Shen Yao?”
His habitual tone of speaking was always cold and distant, devoid of any excessive intimacy with Shen Yao. Not a single word carried the slightest hint of concern.
It didn’t sound like they were familiar with each other at all.
Both of them could hear his voice. Guan Shu approached him like this, completely enveloping him in his embrace. It was him who voluntarily answered the phone call, and it was also him who had confirmed Shen Yao’s innocence regarding Yan Zhixing.
Guan Shu furrowed his brow, lowered his gaze, and moved his lips, silently mouthing, “Speak.”
“I’m fine.” Guan Shu’s hand pressed tightly against his waist, emitting a scorching heat that felt like a burning flame. Shen Yao remained vigilant of his next move while maintaining his tone, saying, “I’ll be back soon.”
Shen Yao noticed that Guan Shu’s expression grew even more somber, so before he could speak, Shen Yao promptly ended the call.
Guan Shu stared at him, his hand resting on the doorknob, blocking the only way out. “Are you still planning to go back?”
His expression was somewhat frightening, but Shen Yao remained calm and unafraid. He slowly lifted his hand and lightly touched his own lips. He couldn’t see himself in a mirror, but Shen Yao could imagine just how red his lips must be now.
Shen Yao asked, “How can I face Yan Zhixing like this?”
Guan Shu didn’t mince words. He directly reached out and held Shen Yao’s hand, opening the door and guiding him towards the exit. “There’s no need to see him. Come with me.”
“I called you here so that you could come and pick me up. I will leave him behind and go with you.” The difference in strength between Shen Yao and Guan Shu was immense, and he didn’t even attempt to struggle. He simply stopped walking and helplessly said, “I just want to go back and say goodbye to him. Please don’t be angry.”
Shen Yao was always like this, pushing him away and then offering him a treat. It was Shen Yao who violated their agreement, leaving him behind to have dinner with Yan Zhixing. And now Shen Yao was putting on an innocent look, as if to say, “Look, I love you so much that I’m willing to give up Yan Zhixing for you.”
Guan Shu could see through it all clearly. He stood under the light, facing Shen Yao in the bustling corridor.
Expressionless, Guan Shu let go of Shen Yao’s hand, habitually reaching into his pocket for a cigarette before realizing that he had quit smoking.
He could only turn his face away and impatiently furrow his brow, urging, “Hurry up.”
Shen Yao opened the private room door, pressing his hand against his lips to simulate a cough, as if he was feeling uncomfortable.
He picked up his phone and gestured, apologizing, “I have a performance tonight. My teacher called just now, asking me to come and change clothes.”
Yan Zhixing frowned and said, “Let Chen Shuang take you there.”
“No need.” Shen Yao shook his head, smoothly rejecting the suggestion without giving any room for error. “When you called, I happened to run into some friends from the dance troupe. They will take me back safely, so there’s no need to trouble Chen Shuang.”
He smiled politely and bid farewell perfectly, saying, “Enjoy your meal.”
As soon as Shen Yao left, he saw Guan Shu leaning against the wall. Naturally, he walked towards him, as if he was approaching the Guan Shu who used to wait for him outside the classroom in high school. He took the initiative to hold Guan Shu’s hand, giving it a gentle tug and cheerfully saying, “Let’s go.”
Guan Shu, accustomed to standing upright, maintained his military posture even while leaning against the wall. Shen Yao’s hand didn’t have much flesh, but it still carried the unique softness of an omega.
Pausing for a moment, Guan Shu adjusted his stance with a stern expression and interlocked his fingers with Shen Yao’s.
It had been so long since Guan Shu held Shen Yao’s hand and walked side by side with him like this. What used to be ordinary in the past had become a luxury since their breakup.
This path seemed to transform into an empty corridor in the school building. He always carried two backpacks on his shoulders, and the school bell rang repeatedly. He and Shen Yao spent three years together, walking side by side.
Guan Shu reached into his pocket and wordlessly placed something in Shen Yao’s hand. Feeling a hard edge in his palm, Shen Yao looked down and discovered it was a bank card. “What are you doing?”
“Returning your money.”
Shen Yao remembered that Guan Shu was referring to the damaged furniture and wanted to return the bank card. “You don’t need to give me so much.”
“I don’t want it back.” Guan Shu didn’t accept it. He kept his gaze forward and succinctly said, “It’s all for you. I don’t spend much money usually.”
“Don’t tell me this is your salary card.” Shen Yao lowered his head, staring at the bank card, and asked, “Are you trying to give me all your savings?”
He thought Guan Shu would be stubborn as before. Shen Yao didn’t expect Guan Shu to simply utter a soft “Mmm” and forcefully tighten his grip on Shen Yao’s fingers, urging him to accept the card.
“Shen Yao, don’t deceive me for a second time.”
The bank card was light, but the sharp edges around it made Shen Yao’s fingers ache. He lowered his gaze, deep in thought, and ultimately decided not to return the bank card.
Shen Yao didn’t lie; he did have a performance tonight. Originally, their agreement was to have dinner together and then have Guan Shu drop him off at the theater.
Although there was a slight deviation, the outcome remained the same. Guan Shu drove him there.
After Shen Yao got out of the car, Guan Shu didn’t drive away. He waited until Shen Yao was far away before taking out tonight’s ticket. It was for the backmost seat on the side.
In such a large theater, no one on stage would pay any attention to him.
He took out a hat from the backseat and put it on, then took off his uniform jacket and replaced it with a plain black jacket.
Guan Shu checked the time and waited until Shen Yao’s performance was approaching before getting out of the car.
In the apartment where Shen Yao lived, he had made a promise, “I won’t miss any of Shen Yao’s performances.”
And since he came back, he had indeed kept that promise. He always sat in this seat, dressed in a way that no one could recognize him.
Shen Yao was a lead dancer tonight, and he stood out so much that he was always the one person noticed on stage.
In high school, Shen Yao was like that too, shining brightly when he danced. Every time there was a cultural performance, a bunch of young and energetic alphas would shout his name from the audience, which irritated Guan Shu.
And now, it was the same. As soon as Shen Yao appeared, he heard the astonished voices of the alphas around him.
Guan Shu’s hand tightened on the armrest beside him, his gaze never wavering from Shen Yao.
It was always like this, so many people liked Shen Yao. Sometimes, he truly wished that he could be the only one seeing Shen Yao, that he could have Shen Yao all to himself.
Guan Shu silently sat in his seat, watching Shen Yao’s performance, and then returned to the car.
He kept the ticket stub and sat in the driver’s seat, pretending to rest. It wasn’t until someone tapped on the car window that he turned his head and saw Shen Yao’s beautiful face.
Only then did Guan Shu unlock the car door and spoke as if nothing had happened, “Why were you so slow? I’ve been waiting for you for a long time. Next time, I’ll go home first and then come to pick you up.”
From leaving the hotel until now, Guan Shu seemed strangely calm, as if he had accepted reality.
But when Shen Yao was brought home by him and the apartment door closed, Shen Yao keenly sensed that something was off. He took a step back, suddenly realizing that testing Guan Shu was a mistake.
“Why are you running?”
There was no hint of a smile on Guan Shu’s face. He had been holding back until now, finally waiting for the only moment he could vent his emotions.
He reached out and grabbed Shen Yao, who had already approached the door, lifting him up. Guan Shu carried him towards the bedroom, forcefully kicking open the door, and then threw Shen Yao onto the bed, warning, “You better not think about running again, or I’ll f*ck you so hard that you won’t be able to stand tomorrow.”
Shen Yao felt intimidated by him, but instead of running away, he sat up, uncertain about what Guan Shu intended to do.
However, Guan Shu wasn’t in a rush. The furniture in his apartment was all stiff and there wasn’t even a soft carpet. He forcefully swung open the wardrobe door and grabbed a piece of clothing, casually throwing it against the wall.
Shen Yao’s eyelids twitched. His dark eyes met Guan Shu’s gaze, and he was dragged forcefully to the wall.
The clothes emitted the scent of Marjoram. Shen Yao’s arm was pulled, forcing him to kneel against the wall on the pile of clothes, which were thick enough to prevent any discomfort.
He felt his heart race and instinctively tried to struggle, but a dominating aura pressed against him from behind.
“Guan Shu…”
Guan Shu’s knee forcefully wedged in, compelling Shen Yao to spread his legs. Shen Yao didn’t give up; his elbow instinctively struck backward, only to be intercepted by Guan Shu as he had expected.
Both of Shen Yao’s wrists were tightly grasped, firmly pressed against the wall.
Shen Yao couldn’t see what was behind him and was completely suppressed by this position, unable to exert any force or offer any resistance.
It was too…
His body suddenly went limp, and his gaze dispersed in an instant. He had never felt this way before, crumbling and losing control right from the start.
Even though Guan Shu didn’t make any movements, it instilled in the omega a sense of fear, as if his lifeline was being squeezed.
“Gu… Guan Shu…”
Guan Shu didn’t undress. He was still wearing that black uniform, the cold silver buttons and chains pressing against his bare back, exploring up and down. The temperature of the buttons rose while patches of red appeared on Shen Yao’s fair back.
He couldn’t even form a complete sentence, and Guan Shu probably noticed his complete lack of resistance. The hand that was pressing down on Shen Yao’s wrist gradually loosened.
But Guan Shu didn’t idle. He continued to explore upwards along his waist. At the same time, Guan Shu suddenly lowered his head, revealing his canine teeth. Shen Yao’s gland was smooth and clean, and he finally couldn’t detect any other alpha pheromone on it. Guan Shu forcefully bit into that delicate gland.
After many years, Guan Shu finally completed his temporary marking. He greedily sniffed the scent on it and said, “Yao Yao.”
Every part of Shen Yao was being stimulated, and he stared blankly at the wall. The white wall seemed to transform into a collection of twinkling stars, enticing him to descend into a dreamlike trance.
“Ah…!”
The marking was done, but Guan Shu seemed unsatisfied with the bite. He lowered his head again and ruthlessly bit into Shen Yao’s shoulder.
A red mark appeared on Shen Yao’s smooth shoulder line, like a dot of cinnabar. It was even more visible from behind, and Guan Shu had long been tempted to bite there.
He gently grazed his teeth over the mark, his voice deep as he said, “Shen Yao, are you teasing me or playing with a dog?”
Guan Shu had no other way, no solution. He could only vent his grievances in this manner, all at once.
Both he and Shen Yao knew that as long as Shen Yao didn’t give him a status, didn’t distance himself from other alphas, and didn’t appear hand in hand with Guan Shu in front of everyone, their relationship would always be precarious, like walking on a tightrope.
Perhaps Shen Yao didn’t want him first, or perhaps Guan Shu lost his sanity and went crazy first, just like now.
Time dragged on, and the scent of pheromones grew stronger. The clothes under Guan Shu’s knees became soaked, his clothes were originally black, but now the color was deepening, becoming sticky.
It also carried a sweet, ambiguous fragrance.
“Is it so difficult for you to avoid contact with Yan Zhixing?!”
“Do you really not trust me…?”
Guan Shu had clearly agreed before, but now he was starting to go back on his words:
“Shen Yao, you don’t perform in these few days, right? Then you can stay in bed for a few more days, with no chance to meet other alphas.”
Guan Shu’s voice was very low, trembling to the point of making one shiver. It was as if he hadn’t had enough. He lifted Shen Yao up from the ground, and in this state, Shen Yao, who had no strength left, could only hold onto Guan Shu’s shoulders tightly.
They both fell onto the bed, sinking into the mattress. Shen Yao was in discomfort, his entire body tense. His ankles were held and toyed with by Guan Shu, who kneaded and rubbed them.
Lying on his back, Shen Yao’s mind went blank, unable to see anything in the vast whiteness before his eyes.
He remained seated on the boat, with waves crashing around him ceaselessly. His lips moved, his consciousness blurred, and he unconsciously murmured, “Guan Shu… I want to die…”
Guan Shu grabbed the hand that was placed beside his leg. It was slender and weak, but exquisitely beautiful, perfect for being held and played with.
He was extremely cold, yet his words were intertwined with tenderness and sorrow as he said, “Then let’s die together.”
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