“Childish?” Ying Wuji had originally come personally only because he was concerned about her illness and feared that something might go wrong. But at the mention of the past, that single sentence was enough to stir dark emotions within his eyes. He restrained himself again and again, but in the end he violently shook off her hand and snapped, “So Crown Prince Zhao thinks one light, careless excuse of ‘I was childish’ is enough to repay my mother’s life?”
Perhaps because he had used too much force, by the time the last word left his lips, Zhao Shu had already been flung into the corner of the room.
Crying out in pain, she clutched the wound on her shoulder and coughed violently again. She simply leaned there against the wall, turning back to look at him with frightened, bewildered eyes.
Aside from the one time when Zhao Wang had executed every attendant in the princess’s residence, she had never lowered her head to anyone in her life. Much less humbled herself enough to offer such a sincere apology. Yet all she had received in return was furious condemnation.
Even with the disguise paste concealing part of her appearance, her features remained exceptionally refined. Especially those almond-shaped eyes. Pressed beneath brows that had been darkened with makeup, they now held two parts mist and three parts fear, making her appear as though she had been terribly wronged, utterly cornered with nowhere left to go.
Her naturally youthful features only enhanced the effect. She possessed the kind of delicate baby face that looked younger than her years. Once her usual arrogant and overbearing manner disappeared, she needed only to look silently at someone without uttering a single word to make them feel inexplicably guilty.
Ying Wuji turned his head away slightly. His brows furrowed as he deliberately avoided her gaze.
The previous night, an urgent royal decree had arrived. Though Prince Yi had been reprimanded, the king had nevertheless entrusted him with command of the fifty thousand newly raised troops east of the city. Although military authority in Xianyang was now largely shared between Ying Wuji and the Meng family, his grandfather was growing older and increasingly frail. Any opportunity that might remove Prince Yi from power, he would never willingly let slip away.
For reasons even he himself could not explain, over the past three years he had maintained the image of a humble and courteous prince before everyone else. He had even earned the complete trust of Lady Mi, Duchess Yong, the principal wife of his father. Yet whenever he saw Zhao Shu, he found himself unable to control his emotions.
“To repay hatred with kindness is the way of a sage.” Suddenly, he sat down upon the edge of the bed. Bracing both hands beside her legs, he leaned forward until nearly her entire body was enveloped in his shadow. His lips drew close to her smooth earlobe as he whispered almost dreamily,
“I’ve saved you again and again. What is it, Crown Prince Zhao? Do you think that from now on I ought to keep you, provide for you, and care for you forever?”
His tone was extraordinarily gentle. Yet Zhao Shu had known him for far too many years. She instantly understood the icy malice hidden beneath those warm words.
While drifting in and out of fever the previous night, she had repeatedly considered that perhaps he had saved her for the sake of the greater political situation, or perhaps simply to vent his resentment. But he had also voluntarily brought Yingying here and settled her safely. He had even ordered Cheng Wu to prepare a separate courtyard specifically for Qi Ying. Why?
A weasel paying New Year’s respects to a chicken.
Though she was inexperienced in worldly affairs, no matter how she pondered it, she could think of only one explanation. Perhaps… he had improper intentions toward Qi Ying.
The thought filled her with mounting dread.
Qi Ying might be slow-witted and somewhat foolish, but she was a young maiden in the bloom of youth. Her appearance and figure were both strikingly beautiful. Back in Zhao, quite a number of high-ranking officials had sought her hand in marriage.
Ying Wuji’s status now naturally far surpassed those officials. But if his interest truly lay with Qi Ying, it could never be for any honorable reason.
Zhao Shu’s eyes slowly reddened.
To her, Qi Ying was an even warmer and more constant presence than her father, brother, or late mother. All the joys and sorrows of her first seventeen years had been shared with Qi Ying. She had never looked down on Qi Ying for being foolish. Nor had Qi Ying ever minded her own wild and unruly temperament. She knew that silly girl had loved Lian Yu with all her heart. Just like herself, loving someone she could never have.
Zhao Shu had even imagined that if neither of them ever found suitable marriages, then perhaps they could simply spend the rest of their lives together. That, too, would have been a happy life.
Had she known things would come to this…
She should have arranged for Qi Ying to marry an honest, dependable young man from the royal clan long ago.
The moment Zhao Shu thought she might not be able to protect her, her heart suffered more than it had when she was sent as a hostage to a foreign state.
“Ah Sheng…” She suddenly grasped his hand. She had been kneeling sideways, but now she even pushed herself halfway upright on one knee. Her voice was solemn with pleading. “It was my fault. Back then I was reckless and willful. If… if you want my life, then I will give it to you.”
They were so close that Ying Wuji felt the soft warmth of her palm. His heart skipped a beat, and his gaze lowered, lingering over her face.
Her nose was delicately shaped, her cherry lips like flower buds. The slanting sunlight reflected in those misty eyes, giving him the inexplicable urge… to brush something away from them.
Unconsciously, he softened his tone, though his words still chilled one to the bone. “Even if it hadn’t been because of you, my mother would never have returned alive to Qin. Does Your Highness truly think that if I wanted your life, you would still have the chance to speak today?”
His mother’s death was a thorn lodged deep in his heart. Time had passed, and perhaps he would never know who had truly been responsible. And his hatred for Zhao Shu naturally stemmed from far more than that alone.
Back then, the people in the residence had treated him like a kept boy or a male courtesan, humiliating him at every turn. Ying Wuji did not consider himself a magnanimous gentleman. At its core, his obsession with power and status now had been forged by all the bitterness and darkness of those years.
His face remained cold as he did not immediately release her hand.
“A scion of the royal Zhou clan, yet you cannot even manage the basic arts of archery and charioteering. These fingers, though, they’ve been cared for as delicately as a young lady’s.”
The pressure of his fingers exploring her knuckles was anything but gentle. Suppressing the discomfort rising in her heart, Zhao Shu lowered her eyes and avoided answering his remark. In a trembling voice she asked, “If you do not want my life, then if the Young Lord wishes to vent his anger over old grievances, I will endure whatever punishment you choose.”
Ying Wuji chuckled softly and released her hand. His rough thumb slowly traced upward along the whip scars on her left arm. “So no matter what I do, you’ll accept it?”
The underfloor heating burned warmly throughout the room. Even through the thin inner robe, he could feel how soft and delicate this person’s skin was, seemingly fragile enough to bruise at a touch, far finer than the skin on the face.
The whip wounds on her arm throbbed faintly. Zhao Shu thought nothing of it. Wanting only to get Qi Ying back as soon as possible, she obediently nodded. Pressing her lips together, she assumed an expression of sorrowful remorse. “I was the b*stard. Heaven and earth have turned upside down, and I ought to repay everything I owe you. As for how, I leave it entirely to your discretion.”
The next instant, her back tightened, and her entire body was lifted effortlessly into the air.
Before she could gather her senses again, she found herself seated astride the man’s lap, her nose only a breath away from colliding with his chest.
While she was still frozen in astonishment, warm breath brushed against her ear.
“Is Your Highness… trying to seduce me?”
His voice was low and husky, as though restrained with great effort.
The desire suppressed beneath that restraint did not seem feigned. Zhao Shu’s mind exploded into blankness. Instinctively, she reached to check whether the binding cloth around her chest was still in place. But when she caught the mockery in his eyes, she realized what she was doing and immediately stopped.
She had indeed… once… “bullied” him.
But she had only been a young girl then. She had never truly harbored any feelings for him. That whole episode had been both childish and painfully awkward. When they met again for the first time, Ying Wuji never mentioned it, and so she had simply treated it as the foolish prank of children, perhaps thinking he no longer even remembered.
The hand on her back slowly slid downward, tracing the line of her spine until it reached her waist.
That almost intimate closeness forced her to recall, pale-faced, the absurdity of their first meeting years ago, when she had lifted his chin with a folding fan and jokingly declared that she wanted him as her male favorite.
But she had never actually done anything. What could she have done? At most, when drunk, she would drag him along to admire the moon or listen to music, chattering beside his profile about how much she liked him.
The pressure around her waist grew stronger.
Though his hand gradually shifted into slow, kneading motions, it never wandered elsewhere. At least in that respect, he remained restrained.
But Zhao Shu knew nothing of such matters. Even this single gesture made her entire body go rigid with terror. In the royal genealogy she was merely Crown Prince Shu, fifteen years of age, yet in truth she was a seventeen-year-old young woman who had lived in luxury all her life. How could she possibly not understand the implications?
She had endured countless hardships along the way, but this was different. The mere possibility of being violated filled her with fear, and tears spilled from her eyes in an instant.
Even at such a moment, the first thought that entered her mind was that if only she truly had been born male. However humiliating or degrading it might be, she would at least have the option of enduring it to preserve herself.
Her brows knit tightly together as she bit down hard, forcing herself to stop trembling. You really can never judge a person by appearances, she thought. How had I never realized before that this man was such a shameless libertine, interested in both men and women?
Afraid of provoking his anger, Zhao Shu forcibly swallowed back her tears and murmured in a tiny voice, “So long as it doesn’t involve anyone else… sharing the peach would not be impossible.”
Ying Wuji’s breathing caught, then grew noticeably heavier even to himself. He could clearly feel that this person was resisting him, afraid, and he had no interest in pondering what she meant by “involving anyone else.”
Instead, he allowed himself to lean close to that small, luminous ear, forcing himself to suppress the thoughts threatening to break free from the depths of his heart.
“What a pity. I’ve always found the pleasures of Longyang* utterly repulsive.”
* homos*xuality
With that, he abruptly released her and pushed her off his lap. Yet the force was exceedingly gentle; it was almost as though he were supporting her as he eased her back onto the couch.
“If you want to stay alive, write a letter to Zhou Wang for me.” Flicking his robe, he stood tall beside the couch, his expression calm and utterly devoid of desire, as though everything that had just happened had existed only in Zhao Shu’s imagination.
She let out a sigh of relief and leaned back against the cushions. With a hint of ingratiation, she asked, “That is hardly difficult. I had intended to write to my grandfather anyway. Imperial Grandson… is there something you wish me to convey?”
“Nothing more. Simply recount everything that has happened to you since entering Qin, exactly as it occurred.” With his hands clasped behind his back, he paced a few steps, his emerald eyes sweeping over her. “In half an hour, I’ll send someone to collect it.”
Seeing that he was about to leave, Zhao Shu hesitated for a moment before finally gathering her courage to ask for Qi Ying’s return as well.
Unexpectedly, Ying Wuji listened with an expression of faint impatience. Without a moment’s thought, he agreed, then even asked who had arranged for the girl to serve her in the first place.
After hearing her explanation, the man raised an eyebrow and gave a scornful laugh. “A man freezing doesn’t choose his clothes; a man in poverty doesn’t choose his wife. One day, all the beauties under heaven will fill my household. As for some lowly hostage girl, I can’t even be bothered to touch her.”
With his back turned to her, he left her with one final cutting remark.
“As for that girl… she did once look after my mother. I distinguish clearly between favors and grudges. You and she were never meant to remain together. Once you’ve recovered, go work in my estate as a stable slave.”
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