How to Deal with Having the Villainous Tyrant’s Child Chapter 121

Chapter 121

Lu Hanzhi vented furiously: “I swear, the Yuwen family… how can you all be so potent? Every time, one shot hits! I must’ve owed you in a past life. Otherwise, why would I give birth to Ah Chan and now have to bear Ah Zhu too?”

Yuwen Min froze, staring at Lu Hanzhi in disbelief, then glancing at his flat stomach.

He muttered, “Pregnant…? But… you already—took the contraceptive pill, didn’t you?”

Lu Hanzhi became hysterical. “Yes! I want to know too! Who knew taking it would still result in pregnancy?! Fine! This time, we’re forming an insect alliance for Ah Chan!”

Note: the children names are insect related that’s why the wordplay.

Yuwen Min just stood there, listening to his rant and rambling.

Even when he realized the situation, he felt overjoyed, so happy it made him giddy.

He looked at him with tender warmth. Even Lu Hanzhi’s occasional curse now seemed irresistibly cute.

Lu Hanzhi’s grievances weren’t yet spent. He kicked the iron plate in frustration. “You keep talking about planned or unplanned… Was I part of your plan? Why did you conspire with Second Brother in secret? Did he ever hide things from me? Just because we’re married, doesn’t mean we’re not a team!”

As he spoke, a wave of indignation surged.

He punched the iron plate twice, but it was as solid as ever, unaffected.

Yuwen Min stepped forward, holding him close. “Han’er, I’m sorry. It’s my fault, completely my fault. Should I… let you hit me with armor? Your hands might hurt otherwise.”

Lu Hanzhi shoved him away. “Who said I want to hit you! I don’t! I’m the one working my ass off in the capital, making crossbows, fire-oil cabinets, and portable fire-oil gourds for you! And you? Heh? Just figure it out yourself? And for the last time, you even sent me a giant pig’s trotter! You really are capable! Why didn’t you just cook yourself for me too?”

Yuwen Min stepped forward again, hugging him. “Cook! Cook! Then let the cooks get the fire ready.”

Lu Hanzhi shouted angrily, “Bah! Even if you’re cooked, I wouldn’t eat you! The meat would be dry. Who wants that? People like you deserve to remain single like in your past life. How did I, after eight generations of bad luck, end up marrying you? I… ugh…”

A wave of nausea overcame him, and Lu Hanzhi finally fell silent.

Yuwen Min, distressed, patted his back. “Han’er, rest a moment. Drink some tea to soothe your throat, then continue swearing if you like. When you’re tired, I’ll massage your shoulders, okay?”

Lu Hanzhi didn’t continue cursing. He was genuinely exhausted.

He patted his chest, looked up at Yuwen Min, and all the pent-up grievances poured into his heart. Exhausted from his earlier outburst, he collapsed into Yuwen Min’s arms, crying.

At this moment, he didn’t care about “a man shouldn’t cry” or “a real man must be strong.”

I just want to cry. I just want to be weak. I just want someone to protect me.

While crying, Lu Hanzhi said, “Yuwen Min, if you dare die on me, I’ll divorce you.”

Yuwen Min asked, “Divorce?”

Lu Hanzhi said, “Yes, I’ll dismiss you. This Wang Fei is divorcing you.”

Yuwen Min seemed oddly pleased. “Fine, divorce… No, that’s not right. I won’t die. Even if everyone else dies, I won’t. I will protect Wang Fei, and our… insect… alliance?”

Lu Hanzhi finally broke into a smile. “Yes, Ah Zhu. I’ll name it Ah Zhu—like a spider’s ‘Zhu’.”

Yuwen Min: …

He had thought the name would be Ah Zhu, just to subtly correct Lu Hanzhi, since Ah Zhu was of the same generation as their elders.

No need to correct now—it really is a spider’s ‘Zhu’.

Yuwen Min wanted to ask why the name was related to spiders.

But thinking about how he had accepted Ah Chan’s name, how could he not accept Ah Zhu?

So, against his inner hesitation, he complimented: “…It sounds nice.”

Lu Hanzhi explained, “Because I’ve been sleeping rough these past few days, wandering in the woods, I often encountered spiders. You know I’m afraid of spiders, right? But now, I’ve become friends with them. On the way here, I even caught a huge one—bigger than Ah Chan himself.”

Yuwen Min held him in his arms, and even just listening to him speak brought a deep sense of satisfaction.

He had thought that the moment he saw Lu Hanzhi, he would go wild, wanting to crush him into pieces and merge him with his own body.

But now, as long as Hanzhi was by his side, his restless heart calmed quickly.

Suddenly, Yuwen Min said, “Hanzhi.”

Lu Hanzhi replied, “What?”

Yuwen Min said, “I think you carry a spell.”

Lu Hanzhi: …You noticed that too?

Yuwen Min added, “A spell that calms my heart.”

Lu Hanzhi finally relaxed. “Wang Ye, did you miss me?”

Yuwen Min answered honestly, “I did. Truly, I did. I even sent someone with a long letter for you. But by then, you had probably already left the capital and didn’t receive it.”

Lu Hanzhi thought: At least you have some conscience. All this effort to come find you wasn’t in vain.

He finally felt less angry. He lifted his hand, wrapped it around Yuwen Min’s neck, and smiled at him. “Ah Chan even asked me to bring you a gift. Do you want to see it?”

Yuwen Min looked puzzled. “What?”

Lu Hanzhi took out a piece of bamboo-patterned paper from his bosom and handed it to Yuwen Min.

When Yuwen Min unfolded it, he saw a dozen or so little paw prints scattered in all directions.

Seeing the tiny paw prints, a wave of tenderness softened Yuwen Min’s gaze.

Lu Hanzhi said, “Ah Chan can talk quite a lot now. Spring is here, Wang Ye, and Ah Chan is almost one year old.”

Yuwen Min could hardly believe it. The first time he saw the child, he had urinated all over himself.

But thinking back, it was deserved. After all, as a father, he hadn’t fulfilled even a shred of his responsibility.

The two of them embraced in the military tent for a long while. They simply held each other and talked; nothing else happened.

As night fell, a servant cautiously asked, “Wang Ye, Wang Fei, shall we prepare dinner?”

Yuwen Min looked at Lu Hanzhi. Lu Hanzhi said, “Yes, prepare it. I’m hungry. What are we eating tonight?”

The quartermaster laughed as he entered. “Just now we slaughtered two lambs, to add to the meal for Wang Ye and Wang Fei.”

Lu Hanzhi asked, “A whole roasted lamb?”

The quartermaster nodded. “Exactly.”

Lu Hanzhi said, “Eat, eat, eat! You have no idea—I haven’t had anything decent to eat all this way.”

He thought of all the culinary stops along the journey, but traveling day and night, he couldn’t afford to linger.

Yuwen Min immediately said, “Give extra portions to Wang Fei!”

The quartermaster grinned. “Understood! Orders will be given at once!”

Soon, a whole roasted lamb and a table full of delicacies were brought in.

Lu Hanzhi was stunned. “Why so much food for me? This could feed the soldiers for several days, right?”

Then he looked at Yuwen Min, frowning. “How do you manage being a commander like this?”

Yuwen Min also looked puzzled. “I don’t know. There’s none of this food in the camp.”

Rations and vegetables were uniformly supplied.

A few of the sheep had been brought in by local villagers.

Yuwen Min had paid for them; they were always kept on the grassy area beside the camp.

But the feast on the table was something he had never seen before.

The quartermaster smiled. “Wang Ye, this was all brought together by the soldiers themselves, as a gift for Wang Fei.”

Yuwen Min asked, “Hm? How did they get it?”

The quartermaster chuckled sheepishly. “The camel hump… was stolen from the enemy camp. The blackfish was taken from the river behind us. These are wild quail eggs, collected by a squad of infantry from the low bushes. And this chicken is from our camp—it was roasted by me, personally, for sister-in-law, hehe…”

Yuwen Min coughed twice. The quartermaster immediately regained a serious expression. “It’s all the soldiers’ sincere intentions. Please, sister-in-law… Wang Fei, accept it with a smile!”

Lu Hanzhi, humble as ever, stepped forward. “Call me sister-in-law if you want, no need for formalities. Go out and thank the brothers for me. I’ll try everything. But… I can’t eat it all alone. I’ll leave some, and the rest can be shared with the soldiers so they can enjoy something new too.”

The soldiers were pleased. “Then we’ll say it’s sister-in-law’s reward for the soldiers!”

Lu Hanzhi said, “Good, sister-in-law will let the soldiers eat meat and drink!”

Yuwen Min added, “No need for the wine, just eat more meat!”

Soldiers on duty couldn’t drink alcohol; it would be dangerous.

The quartermaster followed orders. Some food was served to Lu Hanzhi on a small table. Two lamb legs were sliced off, and the rest were carried out to reward the soldiers.

Lu Hanzhi’s brother, Lu Xuzhi, also came to join. He looked at the small table with the feast and licked his lips. “Oh wow, it’s been so long since I had a meal like this!”

“Oh wow”—the exclamation proved contagious.

Lu Hanzhi: “Oh wow, Second Brother’s here?”

Lu Xuzhi said, “Yes, I’m here. Hanzhi, how’s your sister-in-law?”

Lu Hanzhi took a sweat towel from his bosom and handed it to Lu Xuzhi. “Sister-in-law asked me to bring this to you.”

Receiving the towel, he saw it embroidered with the character for “Jue.”

It was Yuwen Jue’s personal sweat towel. Lu Xuzhi held it up to his nose and inhaled its scent.

For a moment, his eyes reddened.

But only for a moment. He put the towel away and said, “Let’s eat, let’s eat. I’m starving.”

The three of them sat together, and Lu Xuzhi poured wine.

He glanced at Yuwen Min. “Ah Min, don’t drink. Hanzhi, come, have a drink with your brother.”

As he reached to pour for Lu Hanzhi, Yuwen Min blocked him. “Second Brother, I’m afraid he can’t drink with you.”

“What…” Lu Xuzhi was about to ask when he suddenly realized something.

He stared at Lu Hanzhi in disbelief. “I’m not… going to be an uncle again, am I?”

Lu Hanzhi looked utterly helpless. “Exactly… sigh, Second Brother, our Ah Chan is going to have a little brother soon.”

Lu Xuzhi’s face lit up with joy. He poured himself a cup of wine and downed it in one gulp. “Children are blessings. My Han’er is truly a fortunate person.”

After finishing, Lu Xuzhi poured himself another cup.

Lu Hanzhi blocked it and said, “Brother, drink less. Sister-in-law said if you don’t take care of yourself, when we get back, he’ll make you kneel on the washboard.”

Lu Xuzhi: …

Yuwen Min: …

Both of them looked up simultaneously. “What kind of newfangled punishment is this?”

Lu Hanzhi suppressed a laugh, about to explain, when the bugle sounded outside.

A young soldier ran in to report, “Report! Wang Ye, General Lu, the Western Fan Kingdom has launched a sudden charge!”

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