Chapter 61
About an incense stick’s time earlier.
Ji Qingzhou woke up from a dream but tossed and turned on his couch, unable to fall back asleep.
The reason he couldn’t sleep was that he had a certain kind of dream he hadn’t had for a long time…
Since entering the palace, Ji Qingzhou, because of the medicine he had taken, had basically lost all worldly desires—not just physically unresponsive, but even in his dreams no longer filled with chaotic thoughts; and when awake, it was even more so.
Yet, on this particular night, for some reason, he had such a dream…
The dream had no clear plot, not even a specific person involved. It was just a confusing mix of primal urges and feelings. When Ji Qingzhou woke from the most intense part of the dream, he felt restless all over.
Because the dream had not reached satisfaction, he felt somewhat regretful.
But his current physical condition didn’t allow him to relieve himself by his own hand, so he could only try hard to calm the agitation inside him.
Ji Qingzhou lay there for a while, still unable to settle, so he got up and put on his outer robe, planning to go outside for some fresh air. When he reached the courtyard, bathed in moonlight, he saw Li Zhan drinking at the stone table.
Without thinking much, he walked over, and what happened next was the scene that had just occurred!
Li Zhan kissed him.
And it was a French kiss!
The shock this caused Ji Qingzhou was second only to that night months ago in Fengxian Pavilion.
But unlike that time, when he had also been slightly affected by medicine, this time he was completely clear-headed—from Li Zhan’s every burning breath to the strength of the hand that circled his waist, he remembered everything vividly.
He knew Li Zhan had been drinking, and quite a lot at that.
Otherwise, someone like Li Zhan wouldn’t have done something like this.
Yet even so, the impact on his heart was still considerable.
So much so that after fleeing back inside, he was completely stunned.
Ji Qingzhou thought to himself, this was incredibly awkward. His relationship with Li Zhan was already strange because of the child, and now with Li Zhan drunk and kissing him, the situation suddenly got even more complicated.
His only hope was that Li Zhan would blackout and not remember this moment.
If that were the case, Ji Qingzhou could pretend nothing had happened to avoid embarrassment.
But Ji Qingzhou was thinking too simply—whether Li Zhan blacked out or not was unknown, and it would be hard for him to just pretend this never happened.
Later that night, Ji Qingzhou didn’t go back to his couch but instead curled up on the low couch, planning to nap until dawn.
Unexpectedly, the sleepiness came quickly. Ji Qingzhou had barely lain down before falling asleep—and he had another strange dream…
This dream was different from the vague, muted one earlier that night. Every detail was vividly real, and more importantly, Ji Qingzhou actually interacted with someone in this dream—Li Zhan.
Honestly, in two lifetimes, Ji Qingzhou had never really experienced this side of things properly. The only time was that painful, humiliating incident at Fengxian Pavilion with Li Zhan, which he did not want to recall.
Even the kiss that happened tonight in the courtyard was Ji Qingzhou’s first proper experience.
But in dreams, people often perform with extraordinary skill and immersion in things they have no experience with—as if some abilities were innate, requiring no teaching, just instinctive mastery!
That night, Ji Qingzhou and Li Zhan “instinctively” did many things in the dream…
Which left Ji Qingzhou waking up the next morning full of shame and guilt!
How could he have such a dream?
That he actually had such a dream!
Ji Qingzhou’s inner turmoil and unease lasted well into the morning, until at breakfast when he saw Li Zhan’s face was normal, apparently with no memory of last night. Only then did Ji Qingzhou feel a little relieved.
As long as Li Zhan didn’t remember, he could pretend the whole thing was not awkward at all.
“Your complexion looks a bit off. Did you not sleep well last night?” Li Zhan asked Ji Qingzhou.
“Last night…” Ji Qingzhou nearly bit his own tongue, then quickly said, “It was… it was fine.”
Li Zhan said, “You’ve gotten used to living in Yinghui Pavilion, and suddenly changing locations would indeed make it hard to adjust. Let’s return to the palace today.”
“Mm.” Ji Qingzhou responded while picking up food for the young emperor. He glanced at Li Zhan and cautiously asked, “Wang Ye doesn’t look too well either. Did you also not sleep well?”
“Mm, I had a bit of wine last night…” Li Zhan took a deep breath and added, “Still have a bit of a headache now.”
Hearing that, Ji Qingzhou instantly felt relieved. Li Zhan’s expression was completely normal—seemed like he really didn’t remember anything.
Just as Ji Qingzhou was silently rejoicing, the young emperor suddenly spoke.
“Ji Gonggong, where did you go last night?” the young emperor asked out of nowhere.
Ji Qingzhou froze, instantly feeling guilty. He quickly replied, “I didn’t go anywhere!”
The young emperor tilted his head and looked at him. “But I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t find you…”
Ji Qingzhou nervously swallowed and blurted, “Maybe I… went to relieve myself or something…”
Only then did the young emperor nod and stop asking questions.
But Li Zhan gazed at Ji Qingzhou with dark, unreadable eyes and let out a nearly inaudible sigh.
“Your older brother should arrive in the capital in three days,” Li Zhan said to Ji Qingzhou in the carriage on the way back to the palace.
Ji Qingzhou was slightly surprised when he heard this and quickly asked, “Where will he be placed once he arrives in the capital?”
Li Zhan replied, “According to the law, he should be detained in the Court Prison under the Ministry of Justice. However… your brother did suffer quite a bit in the northwest, and his health isn’t great, so I’ll have someone take him to an estate for a few days to recuperate first.”
In any case, not many people knew about Ji Qinghuai’s entry into the capital. If it weren’t for avoiding unnecessary complications, it wouldn’t have been inappropriate to bring him in directly. But Li Zhan had always been meticulous in his actions—he wouldn’t take risks unless absolutely necessary.
Midway through the journey, the carriage suddenly jolted for some unknown reason.
Li Zhan reacted swiftly, pulling both the young emperor and Ji Qingzhou into his arms—one on each side—to protect them.
Li Zhan’s movements were completely natural. If this had been in the past, Ji Qingzhou would have instinctively assumed that Li Zhan’s action was to protect the child in his belly and that he was simply shielding him as a side effect.
But this time, as Ji Qingzhou was held in Li Zhan’s arms, the faint familiar scent of sandalwood from Li Zhan filled his nose, and a flood of complicated thoughts surged up in his heart.
Earlier, he had been too caught up in the awkwardness to think clearly.
Now, those thoughts suddenly came rushing in…
Was that kiss Li Zhan gave him last night merely a drunken slip—a case of mistaken identity?
Or… did Li Zhan know full well it was him at the time?
If Li Zhan had known it was him in that moment, what did that mean?
Under what kind of emotional state would someone instinctively kiss another person?
Though Ji Qingzhou had no experience in love, he still understood what that might imply…
“What happened?” Li Zhan asked outside the carriage in a low voice.
“Wang Ye, the road’s a bit uneven,” came Dong Dong’s voice from outside.
Li Zhan replied, “Have the Ministry of Works send someone to repair it later.”
“Yes,” Dong Dong responded quickly.
The carriage soon returned to a steady pace, continuing toward the palace.
Ji Qingzhou looked up at Li Zhan, just as Li Zhan was also looking at him.
In that instant, when their eyes met, Ji Qingzhou’s heart skipped a beat. He suddenly recalled something Li Zhan had once said to him…
Back when the two of them were casually chatting about Qi Jingchuan and Qin Zheng, Ji Qingzhou had expressed that he couldn’t quite figure out what kind of feelings existed between them. At the time, Li Zhan had told him: if you want to understand how one person feels about another, don’t just look at what they do or say—look into their eyes.
A person’s true feelings were always hidden in their eyes.
In that moment, Ji Qingzhou couldn’t help but recall the way Li Zhan had looked at him in the past…
When they first met, Li Zhan’s gaze always carried a hint of suspicion and guardedness. Later, that suspicion gradually faded, replaced by curiosity.
Then, at some point, even the guardedness disappeared. In its place appeared a bit of concern—perhaps even trust.
Of all the expressions Li Zhan had shown him over time, the one Ji Qingzhou found hardest to decipher had always been that intense, heated gaze. Though Li Zhan had tried to conceal it, it would occasionally surface, full of complexity. Ji Qingzhou had never understood it before, but now, he felt as though he had finally found the answer.
Only… this answer felt far too unbelievable. He couldn’t bring himself to accept it just yet……
“What’s wrong?” Li Zhan asked when he saw Ji Qingzhou staring blankly at him.
Ji Qingzhou tried to calm his racing heart and said, “Nothing. I just suddenly thought of Qi Jingchuan. I wonder how his injury is healing…”
Li Zhan thought for a moment before saying, “There’s no urgent matter waiting for us at the palace. Why not stop by the post station and check on him?”
Ji Qingzhou hadn’t even responded yet when the young emperor spoke up eagerly, “Is Qin Zheng at the post station too? I haven’t seen him in days!”
Li Zhan nodded slightly, and the young emperor instantly looked delighted.
Qin Zheng had, in fact, been visiting Yinghui Pavilion quite frequently over the past few days, but since the young emperor had mostly been staying in the palace school or Fu’an Palace, their paths hadn’t crossed much.
The carriage had already been approaching the palace gates but now turned off course toward the post station.
The post station wasn’t far from the imperial city—barely the time it took to burn one stick of incense, and they had arrived.
After stepping out of the carriage, Li Zhan first lifted the young emperor down, then reached out to steady Ji Qingzhou, his other arm slipping naturally around his waist to help him down.
Ji Qingzhou had been helped off carriages like this by Li Zhan several times before and had never thought much of it. But now, it felt awkward—uncomfortably so. Every inch of contact, from Li Zhan’s fingertips to the palm of his hand, sent a wave of subtle and ambiguous tension through him.
After they entered the post station, someone led them to the courtyard where Qi Jingchuan was temporarily staying.
At the moment, the station had no other guests. Aside from Qi Jingchuan and his personal attendants, the only people present were the guards Li Zhan had assigned for his protection.
As the group approached, they saw Qi Jingchuan wearing only a thin robe, holding a saw and working in the courtyard. Beside him was a pile of cut wood in various shapes—no one could tell what exactly he was planning to make.
“Your Majesty, Wang Ye, Young Master Ji,” Qi Jingchuan greeted them with a nod, setting his saw aside.
Ji Qingzhou looked at him curiously and asked, “What are you making, Your Highness?”
Qi Jingchuan smiled. “I’ve been bored. Since I don’t plan to leave anytime soon, I thought I’d try building a chair.”
“Are the chairs at the station uncomfortable to sit on?” Li Zhan asked.
“No, no,” Qi Jingchuan quickly replied. “Just a personal hobby, nothing more.”
Li Zhan didn’t press the matter further.
The young emperor stepped closer and touched the saw. Seeing his interest, Qi Jingchuan said, “Would Your Majesty like to give it a try?”
“Can I?” the young emperor turned to glance at Ji Qingzhou and Li Zhan, clearly seeking their approval.
“Just be careful,” Li Zhan said.
The young emperor lit up and happily followed Qi Jingchuan’s instructions. Qi Jingchuan guided his hands and helped him saw into a piece of wood.
“Has Your Highness recovered well from your injury?” Ji Qingzhou asked.
Qi Jingchuan answered, “Doctor Tang is highly skilled. I’d probably have a hard time even pretending to be sick a few more days.”
Judging from his appearance, Ji Qingzhou could tell he looked fine. Though it had only been a few days, Qi Jingchuan was moving with ease and even had the strength for woodworking—it was clear his recovery had gone well.
Looking around, Ji Qingzhou didn’t see any sign of Qin Zheng, so he asked again, “Has Young Master Qin not visited in the past few days?”
“He…” Qi Jingchuan smiled and said, “He came yesterday…”
“You spent the Mid-Autumn Festival together?” Li Zhan asked.
“Mm.” Qi Jingchuan continued guiding the young emperor’s hand as they sawed wood, but his expression looked slightly unnatural.
If it had been before, Ji Qingzhou probably wouldn’t have noticed anything odd. But today, a sudden flash of insight hit him, and from those few words, he picked up on something unusual in Qi Jingchuan’s tone.
Then, as Qi Jingchuan lowered his head to place another piece of wood, Ji Qingzhou unintentionally caught sight of the red marks below his collar through the open neckline of his robe. The marks were very clear—fresh, in fact—and how they came to be… well, it needed no explanation.
Ji Qingzhou: !
So it was just as Li Zhan had said—Qi Jingchuan and Qin Zheng’s relationship truly wasn’t ordinary.
But… Ji Qingzhou’s gaze fell on Qi Jingchuan’s sharp, handsome profile. He couldn’t help but think to himself: with Qi Jingchuan’s commanding presence, he didn’t seem like someone who would take the submissive role. Yet Qin Zheng had always had quite the flirtatious reputation in the past… If the two of them really had that kind of relationship, then who was the one on top?
Ji Qingzhou didn’t really understand much about such matters, but based on his single night of personal experience…
Doing that between two men didn’t seem to be enjoyable at all. At least, it definitely hadn’t been for him.
Between Qi Jingchuan and Qin Zheng, who would be willing to endure that kind of suffering for the other?
“What are you looking at?” Li Zhan’s voice suddenly came from beside him.
Ji Qingzhou quickly pulled his gaze away from Qi Jingchuan’s neckline and coughed guiltily.
He thought to himself that he really was becoming so abnormal. He never would have paid attention to such things before—what was wrong with him now?
After Qi Jingchuan and the young emperor finished sawing through a pile of wood, Qi Jingchuan walked to the corner of the courtyard and started picking through some logs. From time to time, he chatted with the young emperor. The young emperor, ever curious, listened with great interest.
“You like Qi Jingchuan?” Li Zhan asked in a low voice.
“No.” Ji Qingzhou immediately denied it. “I was just thinking…”
Li Zhan looked at him and asked, “Thinking about what?”
“Just thinking…” Ji Qingzhou scratched his head awkwardly and said, “His injury… healed pretty quickly.”
Then Ji Qingzhou couldn’t help thinking again: doing that sort of thing would require a lot of physical energy. Wasn’t Qi Jingchuan afraid of tearing his wound open again…?
Ji Qingzhou: !
Ugh, what was wrong with him? Why was his head filled with all these chaotic, messy thoughts?
Qi Jingchuan continued sawing a few more pieces of wood with the young emperor. Li Zhan and Ji Qingzhou sat off to the side watching them.
By late morning, Li Zhan worried the young emperor might get tired and suggested they return to the palace.
Just then, a voice suddenly cursed from inside the room behind Qi Jingchuan.
The words were somewhat muffled, laced with annoyance and a trace of embarrassment… and clearly spoken by a man.
As soon as Qi Jingchuan heard the voice, he immediately dropped the saw and walked into the room.
Ji Qingzhou hadn’t yet processed what was happening when Li Zhan raised an eyebrow and said, “Should we go in and take a look?”
Before Ji Qingzhou could respond, Li Zhan had already gotten up and started toward the room.
Ji Qingzhou didn’t have time to think it over and followed Li Zhan toward the doorway. The young emperor, meanwhile, was still crouched in the courtyard, playing with the pile of wood.
“You’re awake?” Qi Jingchuan’s low voice came from inside the room.
“Screw off… I don’t want to talk to you!” The other man’s voice sounded hoarse and angry.
“Still hurting?” Qi Jingchuan asked quietly.
“What do you think?” the man replied grumpily.
“If you want to curse me out, do it later. Wang Ye and Young Master Ji are here…” Qi Jingchuan said in a low voice.
“What?” the man’s tone instantly turned flustered.
At that moment, Li Zhan had already reached the door with Ji Qingzhou right behind him.
Through the half-open door, Ji Qingzhou was caught off guard by the scene he saw: Qi Jingchuan was squatting by the bed. A man was lying on his stomach atop it, his body covered only by a thin blanket—one that clearly didn’t hide the fact that he was wearing nothing underneath. At that moment, Qi Jingchuan had one hand slipped under the blanket, resting on the man’s back, gently and patiently stroking up and down. The motion looked… a lot like he was trying to soothe him.
Ji Qingzhou: …
This was not something he should have seen!
“Wang Ye…” Ji Qingzhou instinctively tugged at Li Zhan’s sleeve, stopping in his tracks at the doorway.
Li Zhan didn’t continue walking into the room. Instead, he said calmly, “His Majesty should be having lunch now. Let’s return to the palace.”
Only then did Ji Qingzhou let out a breath of relief, silently thinking to himself how awkward it would have been if they had actually entered the room!
Even after they boarded the carriage back to the palace, Ji Qingzhou’s face still felt a little hot.
The scene inside Qi Jingchuan’s room had left a deep impression on him!
Even though what he saw was just a simple, ordinary moment, from the way the two interacted and spoke, combined with the marks visible on Qi Jingchuan’s chest, Ji Qingzhou couldn’t help but imagine a string of indecent images that would never pass censorship.
“That person… was it Qin Zheng?” Ji Qingzhou asked Li Zhan.
“Mm.” Li Zhan replied, “Other than him, no one else would speak to Qi Jingchuan like that.”
Ji Qingzhou relaxed slightly at that. He thought to himself that if it had been anyone other than Qin Zheng in that room, then it would’ve really been a problem.
He even suspected that Li Zhan’s gesture of approaching the door had been just to confirm whether or not it was indeed Qin Zheng inside.
After returning to the palace that day, Ji Qingzhou had to make a concerted effort to temporarily shove the image of that scene at the relay station out of his mind.
Thankfully, Li Zhan hadn’t summoned him to attend to him at all that day—otherwise, the moment Ji Qingzhou saw him, he probably would’ve started imagining things again uncontrollably.
Before nightfall, at Yinghui Pavilion.
Li Zhan held a slip of paper in his hand. It had just been untied from the leg of a carrier pigeon.
“Where is Ji Qingzhou?” Li Zhan asked.
“He’s in his room. Shall I call him over?” Dong Dong replied.
“No need.” Li Zhan furrowed his brows. A moment later, he brought the slip of paper to the flame of a nearby candle and burned it.
Dong Dong looked at him and asked, “This matter… should we inform Young Master Ji?”
Li Zhan hesitated briefly, then said, “Let’s keep it from him for now.”
“I’m afraid… we won’t be able to hide it for long,” Dong Dong reminded softly.
“Send someone to investigate first… maybe it’s just a false alarm,” Li Zhan replied.
“Yes,” Dong Dong answered quickly, silently hoping it really was just a false alarm.
That night, just as Ji Qingzhou finished bathing and was about to rest, Li Zhan came into his room.
It was only then that Ji Qingzhou remembered that Li Zhan hadn’t yet read scriptures to the child that day. He hurried to sit obediently at the edge of the low couch, ready for Li Zhan to perform his usual routine and read aloud to the child in his belly.
But tonight, Li Zhan didn’t come in with a scripture book like usual. After entering the room, he sat down beside Ji Qingzhou with a rather serious expression.
“Wang Ye…” Ji Qingzhou began.
“No scriptures tonight. Can I touch him?” Li Zhan asked.
Ji Qingzhou’s heart skipped a beat. He thought to himself—has Li Zhan gotten addicted to this?
Ever since that one time he touched him, he didn’t want to read scriptures anymore.
Ji Qingzhou also noticed that the first time Li Zhan asked to feel the child, his attitude had been very cautious—almost nervous. But as he did it more and more often, his manner became increasingly natural.
Still, Ji Qingzhou could understand. Over the past few days, as the baby’s movements had become more frequent, even he couldn’t help wanting to feel the little one moving around. As the father, it was only natural that Li Zhan would have the same instinct.
Tang Shu’s suggestion wasn’t without merit—frequent emotional connection between father and child really did have its benefits.
At the very least, Ji Qingzhou had grown more and more at ease these past few days. Even though he still felt a little awkward about his growing belly, he no longer rejected it as strongly as he had in the beginning. There were even moments where he genuinely looked forward to meeting this little one…
And all of those changes in mindset had come from interacting more with the baby in his belly.
Thinking of this, Ji Qingzhou said, “Okay.”
Li Zhan responded by gently placing his hand on Ji Qingzhou’s lower abdomen. This time, he found the right spot right away. But the little one inside wasn’t being very cooperative and didn’t move at all for a while.
“He doesn’t always like to move,” Ji Qingzhou said softly.
“Mm.” Li Zhan made a sound of agreement but didn’t withdraw his hand. He simply sat quietly beside Ji Qingzhou, watching him.
Li Zhan’s palm was warm and dry. Through the thin fabric of Ji Qingzhou’s robe, the warmth spread to the skin of his belly, and the sensation made Ji Qingzhou’s heart skip slightly. He instinctively met Li Zhan’s gaze, and for some reason, his face flushed red.
Then Li Zhan suddenly asked, “Do you want a boy or a girl?”
“I don’t know…” Ji Qingzhou replied instinctively. “What about you?”
Li Zhan gave it some serious thought, then said, “I’d like either… but I hope the baby looks like you.”
As he said this, his eyes were especially gentle. Ji Qingzhou met his gaze, and his heart stirred. For a fleeting moment, he had an illusion—an illusion that the two of them were just an ordinary married couple, sitting under the lamplight, quietly discussing which parent their child would resemble.
“If it’s a girl and she looks like you, she’ll definitely be very beautiful. If it’s a boy and he looks like you, that would be nice too.” Li Zhan added, “As long as he has even just a hint of my features—just a little—it’s enough.”
Ji Qingzhou couldn’t help following that train of thought. He figured if it were a girl who resembled him, that wouldn’t be bad. And if it were a boy who took after Li Zhan, that would be quite good as well. Li Zhan’s features were more rugged and masculine than his own, but they were striking and well-defined—he was definitely very handsome.
“When the baby is born, let them take your surname—Ji. Would you be okay with that?” Li Zhan asked.
Ji Qingzhou was slightly startled, clearly surprised.
He himself didn’t really care what surname the child took. From the beginning, he had only decided to give birth to this baby because Li Zhan had wanted it. Naturally, he hadn’t planned to make a fuss about whose surname the child would bear. But now, with Li Zhan suddenly suggesting this, it was a little beyond his expectations.
If Li Zhan never married in his lifetime, this would be his only child.
And yet, he was willing—without hesitation—to let the child take his surname?
Before Ji Qingzhou could respond, the little one in his belly gave a faint kick, almost as if he were responding to Li Zhan’s proposal.
Li Zhan smiled gently and said, “See, even he agrees.”
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