Chapter 115
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Xue Yuan complied, kissing him fervently.
It was like being swept up by the waves, his soul almost leaving his body, the taste of the glutinous rice cake on his tongue so sweet it felt as if Xue Yuan might devour his tongue.
The feeling of weightlessness came again, making his head tingle, rising and falling, his limbs weak.
Gu Yuanbai closed his eyes, his chest tight, struggling to breathe, trying to push Xue Yuan’s tongue out with his own, but Xue Yuan mistook it for a response and kissed him even more fiercely.
Why is even his tongue so strong? What does he eat?
Gu Yuanbai’s breath grew hot, the thick, sweet scent overwhelming. He used his remaining strength to kick Xue Yuan, who reluctantly pulled back, his voice husky with frustration, “What’s wrong?”
“This Master has had enough,” Gu Yuanbai took a deep breath of the cold air, blinking slowly, “No more kissing, too sweet. My chest feels tight, my limbs are weak.”
Xue Yuan, hiding his satisfaction, said, “From my kissing?”
After a few deep breaths, Gu Yuanbai continued, “My heart feels panicked, something’s not right.”
Xue Yuan sobered instantly, pinching himself hard before picking up Gu Yuanbai and rushing out of the alley to the riverbank filled with floating lotus lanterns. He ran swiftly out of the bustling area, colliding with the stern-faced Tian Fusheng waiting by the river.
Tian Fusheng sneered at Xue Yuan, “Lord Xue, you—”
Xue Yuan, with a grim expression, shoved him aside, “Move!”
The palace servants finally noticed that Xue Yuan was carrying someone, and in a panic, they followed him.
Gu Yuanbai clutched his chest, breathing heavily. He tried to assess his condition, feeling a chaotic heartbeat. If this was due to the kiss with Xue Yuan, he wouldn’t believe it.
This panic clearly stemmed from an external cause. His mind blank, he gritted his teeth to endure. After a while, he seemed to have passed the critical point, and a wave of nausea surged from his chest.
He broke free from Xue Yuan’s hold, stumbling to a doorway and dry heaving. Xue Yuan quickly supported his shoulders, wiping his lips and sweaty forehead with his sleeve after he was done, comforting him, “Your Majesty.”
Tian Fusheng, his eyelids twitching, stepped forward to block others’ view, calling out, “Lord Xue, the doctor is here, let him check His Majesty’s pulse!”
Since Xue Yuan’s residence was nearby, he carried Gu Yuanbai there directly. After helping him sit down, the doctor took his pulse, frowning in confusion, “The only issue seems to be a rapid heartbeat and some irregularity, nothing more.”
Gu Yuanbai’s expression darkened.
After a long while, he dismissed everyone else, leaving only the palace attendants and Xue Yuan, who stubbornly refused to leave. “Tian Fusheng, I have been feeling weak in my limbs after walking a lot lately, and today my heart feels uneasy. You are always by my side. Tell me, do you ever feel the same way?”
Tian Fusheng hadn’t considered this before. Thinking carefully now, he shook his head, “Your Majesty, I haven’t felt that way. But it is strange; I used to feel drowsy following you, but recently I’ve felt more energetic, even able to run laps at noon.”
Gu Yuanbai was silent for a moment, then questioned those who usually attended him.
These people either felt nothing or experienced a slight improvement in their well-being; none exhibited the same symptoms as Gu Yuanbai. However, each of them, regardless of gender, was healthier and younger than Gu Yuanbai and Tian Fusheng.
Initially, Gu Yuanbai thought he had been poisoned, but after questioning everyone, he added another suspicion: his body might be deteriorating, signaling the end of his life.
His expression was grim. Watching him, Xue Yuan gripped the back of the chair tightly, his fingers turning white and his teeth clenched.
Death had never been a particularly frightening concept for Xue Yuan.
But now, it was.
A heavy silence spread through the room.
Suddenly, Gu Yuanbai clutched his chest tightly, his face contorted in pain as he felt a resurgence of anxiety and restlessness. It felt as though a real fire had ignited within him, mercilessly scorching his internal organs.
Large beads of sweat rolled down his forehead, and Gu Yuanbai thought, D*mn it.
D*mn it all.
This life, the life I’ve protected so diligently, no one will take it away from me so easily.
***
Fortunately, such episodes only repeated twice. After Gu Yuanbai endured the inexplicable panic, he was too exhausted to return to the palace. “Xue Yuan, I need to rest.”
Xue Yuan knelt on one knee before him, his broad back facing the emperor. “Allow me to take you to rest, Your Majesty.”
Carrying Gu Yuanbai back to the bedroom, they walked under the moonlight, with stars still shining brightly but without the lighthearted mood from before.
Noticing Xue Yuan’s silence, Gu Yuanbai lazily said, “Xue Jiuyao, your tongue is quite sweet.”
Xue Jiuyao’s arm trembled, nearly causing the emperor to slip from his back. Steadying himself, he mumbled, “Mm.”
Gu Yuanbai looked at the back of his head and sighed, “Why do you talk so much when you shouldn’t, and say nothing when you should?”
Xue Yuan’s heart ached sharply, his hands trembling as he carried the emperor. “Your Majesty, my heart hurts.”
“…Why are you the one hurting?” Gu Yuanbai said softly. “I haven’t even said I’m in pain.”
After saying this, he noticed Xue Yuan’s grip tightening. Under the moonlight, he saw the veins bulging on Xue Yuan’s neck and even heard the clenching of his teeth.
Gu Yuanbai fell silent.
He couldn’t even make sense of his current relationship with Xue Yuan. It was neither that of a ruler and subject nor simply that of lovers. They weren’t partners, nor were they merely casual bedmates.
It’s a tangled mess that he couldn’t unravel.
When Xue Yuan finally placed Gu Yuanbai on the bed, Gu Yuanbai hooked Xue Yuan’s chin with his hand. “I praised your sweet mouth, and you have no reaction?”
Xue Yuan sighed and tried to brush his hand away. “Your Majesty, my mouth is bitter now.”
Gu Yuanbai withdrew his hand and laid back, closing his eyes.
Despite his recent discomfort, his features still radiated vitality. Xue Yuan stood watching him for a long while, then wiped his face, removed Gu Yuanbai’s shoes and outer garments, and brought a basin of hot water to wipe his hands and feet.
Xue Yuan thought Gu Yuanbai had fallen asleep, but as he was cleaning his fingers, Gu Yuanbai suddenly said, “Xue Jiuyao, my health is failing.”
Xue Yuan paused, then continued wiping, his voice hoarse. “I know.”
Gu Yuanbai’s voice suddenly seemed to lengthen, carrying a chill like the wind. He and Xue Yuan were separated by a street so long it seemed endless. No matter how long they walked, it felt like they had only covered a third of the distance. “I don’t want to die, but some things aren’t as simple as just saying I don’t want to. To be rational, Xue Jiuyao, you should best know when to stop.”
Plop.
The handkerchief fell to the ground.
Xue Yuan bent down, picked up the handkerchief, and threw it into the water basin. After a long silence, he finally said, “What do you mean by knowing when to stop?”
Gu Yuanbai remained silent, eyes closed.
Xue Yuan’s eyes reddened with suppressed pain, staring hard at Gu Yuanbai, who avoided his gaze.
“You’re really something, Gu Lian. Just one sentence can make me tear up,” he said through gritted teeth, his fingers cracking from the pressure. “Knowing when to stop, I never learned how to write that.”
Gu Yuanbai finally opened his eyes to look at him, but Xue Yuan stood abruptly, his face contorting with rage. “As long as you live, I won’t leave your side. When you die, I’ll stab myself in the heart and block your path to the afterlife.”
He turned to leave, the door slamming behind him.
Gu Yuanbai was stunned, but moments later, the door frame rattled again. Xue Yuan rushed back in, thrusting a wooden carving into Gu Yuanbai’s hand before leaving as quickly as he had come.
Finally, the room was silent.
Gu Yuanbai lifted the wooden carving in his hand. It was smooth and warm, its features resembling his own, smiling, with flowing robes.
Turning it over, he saw two lines of characters carved on the back:
[In the tenth year of Jingping, this was hand-carved by your subject for you.
A birthday gift, hoping you’ll like it.]
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