Only after a while did Qian Jiaoniang come back to herself. She had not expected, at such a moment between them, that he would once again be leaving. He had been home only a few days—why was he going again? The intervals between his departures were too short; it was not normal.
“Why are you going out again?” She cast aside other matters and could not help but ask.
“Mm, there is something unfinished.” Xing Muzheng replied vaguely. He did not tell her that he had come back only for her birthday. “This time it will likely be another two or three months. If you hear anything, do not pay it mind—just stay here in Yunzhou.”
Qian Jiaoniang heard the strangeness in his words. “This time—is there danger?”
Xing Muzheng fixed his gaze on her. After a long pause, he said: “Somewhat.”
Her heart gave a jolt. The first thought that leapt out was that she did not want him to go. But after a moment she still said, “Then… be careful.”
Xing Muzheng nodded. “I must leave at once. Will you help me pack?”
She froze for an instant, as if waking from a dream, then answered and turned to fetch his clothes. Xing Muzheng just stood there, staring straight at her as she busied herself to and fro.
A faint, unspoken air spread through the room—like a thin sheet of paper between them, impossible to pierce.
Qian Jiaoniang packed his belongings, but then had him wait a moment more; she sent Hongjuan to fetch a pouch of medicines—hemostatic, detoxifying, all carefully prepared. Li Qingquan was already waiting outside the door. Xing Muzheng gave Qian Jiaoniang a long, deep look, then turned to leave. Unease welled in her, and she suddenly stepped forward to grab his arm.
He turned back. Qian Jiaoniang realized her loss of composure and awkwardly withdrew her hand.
“What is it?” Xing Muzheng asked in a low voice.
She thought a moment, then said: “I only mean—I do not wish to have a child now. My lord, do not be angry. When you return, shall we then have one?” If he was angry with her, he could always have children with another, that was allowed. She simply did not want him to leave with a heart clogged with resentment. He had said “somewhat dangerous”—which meant it was very dangerous indeed. She did not want him distracted and harmed.
Xing Muzheng looked at her for a long time, neither agreeing nor refusing. At last he said, “The study is somewhat messy. Have it tidied.”
Leaving those words, he departed.
Later, when Qian Jiaoniang led people to the “somewhat messy” study, she saw the wreckage littering the floor like a ruined house, and her heart was filled with complexity.
More than two months after Xing Muzheng left, Qian Jiaoniang was kept very busy, inside and outside the household, but unease gnawed at her. She always felt something was about to happen. No letter ever came from Xing Muzheng. When she sent people to gather news, she learned the world was no longer at peace. The Emperor was lost in the pursuit of elixirs, driving the people into mountains and seas to gather ingredients; former dynasty rebels fanned the flames with this pretext, and bandits took the chance to riot.
Compared to other cities, Yunzhou was like a secluded paradise.
Yet Qian Jiaoniang could not understand—what had Xing Muzheng gone off to do? Since he had chosen to retire to Yunzhou, it was a declaration of leaving court affairs behind. Then why was he now embroiled in peril? He was the Dingxi Marquis in Yunzhou—who could command him still, and to what end? If it was private business, what could be so weighty as to drive him thus? Could it truly be that great matter she had secretly suspected…?
After the Ghost Festival of the seventh month, Qian Jiaoniang finally received her answer.
Xing Muzheng had been seized in Wuzhou and thrown into prison, accused of colluding with rebels of the former dynasty to plot rebellion. Soon he would be escorted to Yongan to face the imperial court.
When Qian Jiaoniang first heard, she was stunned—but she could not disbelieve.
