Marrying The Imperial Elder Chapter 42

Normally, after registering and receiving the admission permit, candidates only had to wait three days before taking the entrance examination at Yuhua Womens’ Academy.

But for some reason, just before the exam, Pei Mingzhu managed to lose her permit.

She was terrified. She secretly searched everywhere she could think of but couldn’t find it. Frightened to the point of tears, she didn’t dare tell her parents or teachers. Since she had always been close to Zhen Yiyun, she hurried over to ask her for advice.

When Zhen Yiyun heard what had happened, she was so shocked she almost couldn’t speak.

In modern terms, the entrance permit for the Womens’ Academy was equivalent to an admission ticket for the national college entrance examination (the gaokao). Had anyone ever lost their own gaokao admission ticket? Of course there had been cases but rare enough that they made the news.

So, in a way, Pei Mingzhu was impressively careless.

Pei Mingzhu knew perfectly well how serious it was. Her face had turned pale as she cried. “What should I do? If my father and mother find out, they’ll beat me to death…”

This was far too important for Zhen Yiyun to casually offer advice. If something went wrong, and Eldest Madam Pei blamed her afterward, she couldn’t possibly bear that responsibility.

So she could only urge Pei Mingzhu to confess honestly. “This is far too important to hide. The exam is tomorrow. If you keep delaying, there won’t be any way to solve it.”

Pei Mingzhu cried even harder. “M-my mother will definitely beat me to death…”

Taking a deep breath, Zhen Yiyun finally said, “How about… I’ll go with you and tell Eldest Aunt.”

If possible, she wanted nothing to do with this mess. But judging by Pei Mingzhu’s temperament, if she didn’t accompany her, the girl might continue procrastinating. It was already nearly evening. If they delayed any longer, it would be dark, and the exam was first thing the next morning. Besides, if the Pei family later asked who else had known about the missing permit, Pei Mingzhu would certainly mention Zhen Yiyun’s name. Then she’d end up taking the blame despite having done nothing wrong.

Weighing the two bad options, accompanying Pei Mingzhu to confess was still the lesser evil.

Fortunately, Pei Mingzhu did understand the seriousness of the situation. After Zhen Yiyun patiently persuaded her, she gradually stopped crying and sniffled, “I’ll go tell Mother myself. It wouldn’t be right for Cousin to get scolded because of me.”

She truly wasn’t malicious. In fact, she was rather loyal, believing that whoever made the mistake should bear the consequences alone. Only then did Zhen Yiyun feel somewhat relieved. She carefully reminded her of a few things.

Halfway through, a thought suddenly crossed her mind, and she added almost absentmindedly, “Come to think of it, my second younger sister is taking the Yuhua entrance exam this year too. Good thing she didn’t lose her permit…”

The moment the words left her mouth, she realized she’d said too much. She instinctively glanced at Pei Mingzhu. Seeing that the girl merely kept her head lowered, wiping away tears, she quietly let out a sigh of relief.

Yet, strangely, she also felt a faint disappointment. Having gained a little courage from Zhen Yiyun’s comfort, Pei Mingzhu finally gathered herself and went to tell Eldest Madam Pei.

Eldest Madam Pei had never imagined such a disaster would occur on the eve of the examination. She was so furious she nearly fainted. Grinding her teeth, she raised her hand and struck her daughter several times. “You… you… you! I’ve told you over and over to settle down and study properly! But you never listen! All you do is fool around every day…”

Ashamed and guilty, Pei Mingzhu didn’t even try to dodge, silently accepting the blows.

Yet after hitting her a few times, Eldest Madam Pei’s heart softened instead. Her eyes reddened as she spoke in a low voice. “I’ve always said our family doesn’t expect you to become some extraordinary talent. We only hoped you could live an ordinary, peaceful life. Look at your two older sisters, they’ve never caused me this much worry…”

Pei Mingzhu had been conceived the year the Pei family regained their official position.

Since she already had a son, Eldest Madam Pei had eagerly hoped for a daughter as well. After the little girl was born, she cherished her as the apple of her eye. Especially because her eldest son, Pei Rusong, was both the eldest grandson of the main branch and exceptionally gifted. Old Master Pei valued him greatly, keeping the boy by his side and rarely allowing the women of the household to interfere in his upbringing.

Unable to devote herself much to raising her son, Eldest Madam Pei poured nearly all her maternal affection into her youngest daughter.

Though she often worried that her daughter was naïve and foolish… She had never imagined she could be foolish enough to lose her examination permit.

How could she not be angry? How could she not lose heart?

At that moment, countless words caught in her throat. She found herself unable to utter a single one.

Pei Mingzhu didn’t know what to say either. She could only lower her head and continue crying.

The room fell deathly silent.

Only Eldest Madam Pei’s heavy breathing and Pei Mingzhu’s quiet sobs could be heard.

After a long while, Eldest Madam Pei gradually calmed herself and began thinking about what could be done. At this point, she certainly couldn’t simply let her daughter skip the examination. But now that the permit had been lost, where could they possibly obtain another examination permit?

As she was pondering, she heard Pei Mingzhu ask through her tears, “Mother… what should I do? The exam is tomorrow. We had already planned to go together with Sister Zhen… Now that I’ve lost my permit… does that mean I can’t go anymore?”

Pei Mingzhu was crying so hard that her thoughts were muddled. She normally wouldn’t have thought of Zhen Tingyun at all, but because Zhen Yiyun had casually mentioned her earlier, the name slipped into her words without her even realizing it.

Eldest Madam Pei was so irritated by her daughter’s crying that her nerves were frayed. But her words suddenly gave her an idea. She recalled a conversation she had once had with her sister-in-law, Madam Pei, on the day Zhen Yiyun came of age. “You’re truly fortunate. Both your daughters are so diligent. My own Zhuzhu, on the other hand, is terribly lazy. The examinations are in June, yet she spends every day fooling around instead of studying. She gives me such a headache.”

“Mingzhu has always been clever. She’s relaxed because she’s confident in herself. As for Tingyun, that girl hardly studied in the past. She’s only cramming at the last minute now, hoping to get lucky.”

That’s right. The Zhen family’s girl had only been cramming at the last minute, counting on luck anyway. In that case, wouldn’t it be better for her to give her examination permit to Pei Mingzhu? She could spend another year preparing properly and take the exam next year.

The inspiration struck Madam Pei in desperation. The examination was tomorrow, there wasn’t a moment to lose. She immediately ordered a carriage prepared and headed for the Zhen residence.

Pei Mingzhu still didn’t understand what was happening. With red-rimmed eyes, she looked at her mother.

Eldest Madam Pei was simmering with anger herself. While planning what she would say once they arrived at the Zhen household, she gave her daughter two sharp swats. “You little wretch! You really are the debt I must have incurred in my previous life!” Half the face she’d spent a lifetime preserving was about to be lost because of this daughter.

Ashamed and guilty, Pei Mingzhu lowered her head and sobbed softly.

Seeing this, Eldest Madam Pei’s heart softened again.

Children really were a parent’s lifelong debt. What did parents spend their entire lives working for, if not for the children at their knees? She only had one son and one daughter. Her son was gifted enough that she had no worries about him. But if she didn’t do everything she could for this daughter, what would become of her?

With these thoughts in mind, when she arrived at the Zhen residence and met her sister-in-law, Madam Pei, Eldest Madam Pei unusually humbled herself and spoke gently. “I really shouldn’t be disturbing you at a time like this, Sister. It’s just…”

As she spoke, she pushed her daughter forward and gritted her teeth. “It’s just that this useless girl never stops causing me trouble. Just the other day I had someone register her for Yuhua Women’s Academy, and today she actually lost her examination permit. I’m completely at my wit’s end. Since Ting Jie’er also registered, I shamelessly came to seek your advice.”

Seek advice? More like seek the permit.

Madam Pei wasn’t a fool. She immediately understood.

The examination was tomorrow. If Pei Mingzhu had lost her permit a few days earlier, she could have registered again, or even bought another permit at a high price. Although only eligible girls could register and only those listed on the official roster could receive permits to sit for the examination, there was still an underground trade in buying and selling those permits. But discovering the loss only now meant it was too late to buy one. If the matter became public, it would also damage Pei Mingzhu’s reputation. Such incidents were exactly the sort that invited gossip. People might whisper behind her back, “If she can’t even keep track of her academy examination permit, she’s far too careless to accomplish anything.”

That was why Madam Pei had come to the Zhen family.

First, because Zhen Tingyun had also registered and possessed a valid permit.

Second, because the two families were related by marriage. If everything was handled discreetly, the matter could be quietly covered up, preserving Pei Mingzhu’s reputation.

When Madam Pei remained silent, Eldest Madam Pei could only soften her tone even further. “Sister, I truly have no other choice. Zhuzhu is several months older than Tingyun. If she’s delayed another year, what will become of her? Besides, Tingyun has only recently come to the capital. Her foundation can’t be very solid yet. Wouldn’t it be better for her to slow down, strengthen her studies, and take the examination next year? It won’t be too late.”

Madam Pei merely pressed her lips together and said nothing.

Eldest Madam Pei truly spoke from a mother’s heart. As she continued, her eyes reddened. “Sister, you know me. Other parents are always ambitious for their children. I’ve never had such lofty expectations. I’ve never expected to benefit from my children, I only hope they’ll be able to live good lives. Rusong has been clever since childhood, and Father and Mother watch over him. I never have to worry about him. But this little wretch has always been by my side. She’s the one who worries me endlessly. Yet what can I do? She’s my only daughter. How could I simply abandon her? If she truly ruins her future over this… then… then I couldn’t go on living either.”

As she spoke, she pushed Pei Mingzhu again. “Quickly! Kneel before your aunt and beg her to take pity on you.”

How could Pei Mingzhu endure such humiliation?

Her face flushed scarlet with shame and anger. After a long moment, she lowered her head and muttered stubbornly, “At worst… I’ll just take the examination next year.”

“What nonsense are you talking about?!”

Eldest Madam Pei was nearly choked speechless by her daughter’s words. Her face turned pale with anger. Clutching her forehead as though about to faint, she cried, “You ungrateful child! Are you trying to drive me to my death?!”

Seeing the mother and daughter on the verge of quarreling right in front of her, Madam Pei could no longer pretend to be mute.

Truthfully, she was deeply unwilling to go along with such a request.

Her sister-in-law always appeared warm and considerate in ordinary times, but whenever something truly beneficial came along, she never thought of her. Yet when trouble arose, she immediately came looking for her instead. Wasn’t this simply choosing family to take advantage of?

Still, Madam Pei had no wish to fall out with her.

After all, this was her elder brother’s wife. Her parents were already advanced in years and would one day pass away. In the future, it would be Eldest Madam Pei who managed the Pei household.

In those days, the importance of a woman’s natal family could hardly be overstated. Even Madam Pei’s strong position within the Zhen household owed much to the support she received from her birth family. So she had no desire to damage that relationship.

Besides, the Zhen family lacked deep roots and still depended on the Pei family in many respects.

Suppressing a sigh, Madam Pei finally spoke, her voice full of difficulty. “I understand your feelings, Sister-in-law. But Ting Jie’er is already fourteen. Next year she’ll come of age. You say Zhuzhu can’t afford to lose another year, but can Ting Jie’er? It’s not that I, as her aunt, am unwilling to care for Zhuzhu. It’s just…”

She pressed a handkerchief to the corner of her eye, her own voice beginning to choke with emotion. “When I left Ting Jie’er behind in the countryside, I’d already delayed her for more than ten years. How could I now delay her education and future yet again? As her mother… my face simply isn’t thick enough for that.”

Eldest Madam Pei, however, was not pleased.

You yourself admitted before that your daughter wasn’t going to pass this examination anyway. If she’s going to fail regardless, why not let my daughter have the permit? Since we’re relatives, we can quietly smooth this over between ourselves, everyone keeps face, and everyone benefits. Isn’t that the best outcome?

Of course, Eldest Madam Pei wasn’t a fool. She knew that Madam Pei hadn’t refused outright, which meant she was at least tempted. Speaking this way now was probably just her way of driving up the price.

After all, they were family. Rather than letting an outsider benefit, it was better to keep the advantage within the family. The meat should stay in the family’s own pot.

Thinking this over, Eldest Madam Pei softened her tone further. “That’s true enough. Ting Jie’er is already so grown. Next year she’ll come of age, and it’s about time to start preparing her dowry. As her aunt by marriage, I really haven’t done much for her all these years. I ought to give her something worthwhile.”

A flicker of interest crossed Madam Pei’s face, though she hurriedly protested, “How could I accept that? She’s just a child. How could she take something from her aunt?”

Eldest Madam Pei had come prepared. Hearing this, she knew there was room for negotiation. Her heart settled, and a smile finally appeared on her face. Taking Madam Pei’s hand, she said warmly, “We’re family. There’s no need for such formalities between us. I have a silk shop on West Street. It’s not particularly large, just enough to make a modest living. But it’s exactly the sort of business suitable for a young lady to manage. Ting Jie’er is still young. There’s really no need for her to rush into the examination. Let her wait another year, spend more time reading at home, and learn how to manage household affairs. That will only benefit her future.”

A single shop was worth at least a hundred taels of silver.

With that amount of money, one could probably buy an examination permit.

But time was too short now; even with money, it was unlikely one could find one in time. Besides, Eldest Madam Pei wasn’t simply buying a permit, she was buying her daughter’s reputation. She wanted to settle the matter quietly within the family, so no outsiders would have anything to gossip about.

More importantly, Eldest Madam Pei came from a marquis’s household and was now the eldest daughter-in-law of the Prime Minister’s family. Over the years she had accumulated countless valuable possessions. Even letting a small portion of them slip through her fingers was enough to dazzle the Zhen family.

Madam Pei found herself tempted. The offer truly was generous.

She had always favored her elder daughter, but that didn’t mean she didn’t care for her younger one. The Zhen family only had so much wealth, whatever was given to the elder daughter meant less for the younger.

Now that Eldest Madam Pei was willing to give her younger daughter a shop, it could serve as part of the girl’s future dowry. That made it worthwhile.

Besides, Madam Pei had already been thinking of having her daughter take the examination next year anyway. She probably wasn’t going to pass this year regardless.

With that in mind, Madam Pei ordered a servant to fetch Zhen Tingyun’s examination permit and handed it to Eldest Madam Pei, saying earnestly, “I understand your feelings, Sister-in-law. We’re family, after all. There’s no need for all these formalities.”

Looking at the examination permit in her hand, Eldest Madam Pei finally smiled. Since it had been so difficult to obtain, she didn’t dare entrust it to the absent-minded Pei Mingzhu. She tucked it away herself before taking her daughter home.

Thus, from her perspective, everyone had gotten what they wanted.

But after Madam Pei left, Madam Pei summoned Zhen Tingyun and explained what had happened.

The moment Tingyun heard it, her expression changed completely. Standing in the center of the hall, she looked up at her mother seated above her, disbelief filling her eyes. She had always known her mother favored her elder sister. But she had never imagined her favoritism would reach this point, that her mother would make such a decision on her behalf without even informing her.

Madam Pei, however, failed to understand the meaning behind her daughter’s gaze. Instead, she simply sat there, waiting for her reply.

Zhen Tingyun said nothing. At that moment, she felt as though a fire were raging inside her chest. Its flames burned fiercely, sending up endless waves of smoke and scorching heat that remained trapped within her heart. It seemed as though her entire heart had been burned black with pain and suffocating heat. Even her throat felt parched by the flames, as though a lump of sour, softened stone were lodged inside it. Though she clenched her back teeth tightly, once she opened her mouth, not a single word would come out.

After waiting a long time without hearing an answer, and finding her daughter’s expression increasingly unpleasant, Madam Pei frowned. “What is with that look on your face?”

Zhen Tingyun forced herself to suppress the raging fire within. Finally, she squeezed the words out through clenched teeth. “Whether I could pass the examination, whether I wanted to take it, that was my decision to make. What right did you have to give away my permit without even telling me?”

Madam Pei had originally intended to explain everything carefully and lay out the pros and cons but her daughter had entered with a dark expression, and the very first thing she did was question her. Even someone with the best temper would have become annoyed. Frowning, she scolded, “What kind of thing is that to say? I’m your mother. I gave birth to you and raised you. Can’t I make even such a small decision on your behalf?”

Zhen Tingyun clenched her jaw so tightly she could taste blood seeping from her gums.

This was the taste of endurance.

Suppressing herself, she slowly lifted her eyes to look at Madam Pei. Her eyes were as clear as crystal beads, black and white sharply defined. Even her voice was restrained to the point of icy calm. “You gave birth to me, yes. But you certainly didn’t raise me. I’ve heard that after I was born, you didn’t have enough milk, so I had to be fed with cow’s milk and goat’s milk borrowed from other families. Then, before I was even weaned, you took my elder sister with you to the capital and left me behind with Grandmother. From that day until I came to the capital this year, did you ever come to see me even once? Did you ever hold me even once? Did you ever write me a single letter? Did you ever speak even one word to me?”

She drew a deep breath. Looking directly at her mother, she asked each word distinctly, “And that… is what you call ‘giving birth to me and raising me’?”

“Enough!” Almost instinctively, Madam Pei avoided her daughter’s gaze and replied coldly, “I know your heart is with your grandmother. You think she was the one who raised you but have you ever stopped to think where the money your grandmother spent on you came from? Your father and I sent it.”

“So,” Zhen Tingyun asked in return, “in your eyes, raising a child simply means sending money?”

Madam Pei was momentarily speechless. After a pause, she forcibly changed the subject. “We’re talking about the examination now. Why are you dredging up all these old grievances from years ago?”

Zhen Tingyun replied calmly, “I’m only saying this: although you gave birth to me, you hardly raised me at all. You don’t know me as well as you think you do. Something like my examination permit should have been discussed with me first, before you made a decision.”

Madam Pei was momentarily choked by those words. Embarrassment quickly turned into anger. Slapping the corner of the table, she trembled with rage, even her finger shaking as she pointed at Tingyun. “I knew it! I knew it! You grew up with your grandmother. Long ago you stopped thinking of me as your real mother! You’ve never forgotten what happened back then, have you? You’ve been holding a grudge against me all this time!”

Remembering the hardships she had suffered under Old Lady Zhen’s authority, remembering the anguish and worry she’d felt when she left her younger daughter behind, and now seeing her daughter’s cold, defiant expression, Madam Pei’s own tears fell. Her emotions got the better of her, and her words became increasingly unrestrained. “Since you don’t even acknowledge me as your mother, there’s no point beating around the bush. I’ll tell you plainly. The registration fee for the academy examination, the money used to obtain the examination permit, I paid for all of it!

“If I paid for it, can’t I decide what to do with it? And if you really want to argue with me, then tell me this: everything you’ve eaten and used all these years, didn’t it all come from this household? You’ve eaten my family’s food, and now you dare give me that look? What exactly do you mean by that?”

Those words were like razor-sharp blades. With only a little force, they could pierce straight through a person’s heart.

Never had Zhen Tingyun imagined her mother would say something like this. Her face went pale. Her eyes widened slightly as she stared fixedly at Madam Pei’s moving lips.

Seeing her daughter standing there looking so pitiful, Madam Pei’s heart softened. The anger in her chest gradually subsided. Closing her eyes briefly, she reopened them, the fierce emotions now gone. “Forget it. Why am I arguing over these things with a child?”

Giving herself an excuse to step back, she continued, “If it weren’t for your sake, why would I have humbled myself and asked your aunt for that shop? You’re grown now. Next year you’ll come of age. You should start understanding these things. Having more in your dowry can only benefit you and stop saying such childish things. Hearing them is enough to chill anyone’s heart. As your mother, of course I won’t hold such words against you. But if outsiders were to hear them, would they let the matter rest?” 

“My good girl, don’t speak like this again.” As she spoke, she reached out to take Tingyun’s hand and sighed softly. “I’m your mother. I would never harm you.”

But Zhen Tingyun’s expression remained unchanged. She merely shifted her body slightly, avoiding the hand reaching toward her.

Madam Pei had never expected that after lowering herself and speaking so gently, her daughter would remain completely unmoved. She was so surprised that her expression froze for a brief moment but by now Tingyun was beyond angry.

Her heart ached terribly. Even more than that, she refused to cry in front of her mother or show any weakness.

After stepping aside to avoid her mother’s hand, she merely gave a small nod in lieu of a formal salute, then turned and walked toward the door. “In that case, I have nothing more to say. As for the shop Aunt wanted to give me, Mother may keep it herself. I don’t want it.”

With that, Zhen Tingyun walked away without giving her mother the slightest bit of face.

Madam Pei stood frozen. Her hand remained suspended in midair for quite some time before she finally lowered it.

For the first time since Tingyun had returned to the capital, a trace of regret and unease arose in Madam Pei’s heart. Although Tingyun had always been somewhat distant toward her, she had nevertheless remained respectful and courteous on the surface. This was the first time she had ever behaved like this.

Still, Madam Pei forcibly suppressed those complicated emotions. She thought to herself:

This daughter truly can’t be indulged. I’ve already reasoned with her so patiently, lowered myself, even given her a way out, yet she doesn’t appreciate it in the slightest. Sure enough, a child you didn’t raise yourself will never truly be close to you.

After brooding over it for a while, that evening, when Father Zhen returned from the government offices, Madam Pei recounted the entire incident. “…I really must have committed some terrible sin in a previous life. That girl’s temper is unbelievable. No matter how I tried to persuade her, she simply refused to listen.”

Naturally, Madam Pei had hoped her husband would comfort her. Instead, after hearing the story, Father Zhen became angry with her.

The couple, who had never once quarreled since their marriage, had their first real argument because of this.

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