Chapter 173
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Lou Yan was stunned, his anger dissipating. He clicked his tongue, feeling quite speechless. Originally, he wanted to joke and say, “Do you take me for your mother?” But what came out of his mouth was different. “Your mother… has good taste.”
If Fu Xuezhou’s mother had the same taste as him, she must be a person of taste.
“If I had known you had the same jacket, I would have just asked you to bring it, so I wouldn’t have to spend money buying the same one for you again,” Lou Yan said as he flicked the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. Suddenly, he thought of Fu Xuezhou’s parents who disappeared after the Anomaly Resurgence. Curiously, he asked, “Fu Xuezhou, I didn’t see your parents at your house before. Where did they go?”
“Couldn’t find that jacket,” Fu Xuezhou buried his face in the down jacket and lightly rubbed it. A pair of dark eyes peeked out from behind the feathers as he looked at Lou Yan. His tone was calm. “They’re dead.”
Lou Yan was stunned again.
He suddenly understood why Fu Xuezhou didn’t want to wear clothes from the wardrobe.
Perhaps when Lou Yan was taking a shower, Fu Xuezhou opened the wardrobe to find clothes but saw this jacket instead, which reminded him of his deceased mother. In order to avoid missing them, he didn’t take out the clothes to wear and just sat on the balcony half-naked.
“Your parents…” Lou Yan, who had also lost his parents early on, felt complicated. He tried to ask in a relaxed tone, “How did your parents die?”
Fu Xuezhou spoke as if he were telling a story about strangers, calm and without ripples.
“On the night of the Anomaly Resurgence, they encountered something at home.”
Lou Yan furrowed his brows. “They couldn’t be saved?”
“No.”
Fu Xuezhou stood up and put on the down jacket. The large, thick collar covered Fu Xuezhou’s chin. He raised his hand and refilled his wine glass, then filled Lou Yan’s glass as well. Lou Yan carefully watched his expression but didn’t see any signs of sadness or sorrow on Fu Xuezhou’s face.
Fu Xuezhou raised his eyebrows, puzzled, and tilted his head to ask Lou Yan, “Why have you been staring at me?”
Lou Yan’s imagination about Fu Xuezhou being sad suddenly ceased. “Seeing this jacket, aren’t you sad?”
Fu Xuezhou looked down at the down jacket on him again. “I’m fine.”
Fine?
These two words left Lou Yan unable to understand. What did “fine” mean?
But thinking that it was Fu Xuezhou who said it, oh, then everything seemed normal again. Perhaps what outsiders thought would make Fu Xuezhou sad and painful was actually nothing to him. The pity and sympathy from others were just projections of their own thoughts onto him.
Lou Yan felt that he had thought too much just now, assuming that Fu Xuezhou was feeling sad. He looked at the red wine in the glass and couldn’t help but feel puzzled.
Would Fu Xuezhou really like someone else?
If he didn’t feel sad even about his parents’ death, how much emotional investment did he have in his liking for him?
Lou Yan didn’t know.
Sometimes he felt that Fu Xuezhou was starting to become more human, but every time he had other thoughts about Fu Xuezhou, Fu Xuezhou would do something to tell Lou Yan: he was still that non-human monster.
The phone in the room suddenly rang.
Lou Yan snapped out of his thoughts, drank the remaining red wine in his glass in one gulp, and got up to answer the phone in the bedroom.
On the balcony, the cold wind blew, but the cold wind blowing towards Fu Xuezhou was blocked by the down jacket, bringing him a hint of warmth.
The last crimson glow of sunset gradually disappeared from Fu Xuezhou’s eyes, and he muttered to himself, “…I’ve gotten used to it.”
But his voice was too low, swept away by the wind, and no one except himself heard it.
Indoors.
The call came from Duan Zege. Lou Yan thought for a moment, then walked out of the room onto the corridor to answer the phone.
As soon as the call connected, Duan Zege’s anxious voice came through, “Lou Yan, did you and Fu Xuezhou go to the North Pole? You didn’t go to Linxin County, you went to the North Pole, didn’t you!”
Lou Yan raised an eyebrow calmly, “Yes, we’re in the North Pole.”
Duan Zege’s questioning was expected. He and Fu Xuezhou had been away from Rongcheng City for four days, and it was time for Duan Zege to realize that something was wrong.
“You promised to take me to the North Pole with you!” Duan Zege’s words rushed out quickly, his frustration palpable even through the phone. “Wait for me in the North Pole, I’m coming to find you now!”
“Duan Zege—”
Duan Zege interrupted Lou Yan, repeating anxiously, “Lou Yan, you must remember what I said! Don’t, I mean, absolutely don’t harm Fu Xuezhou! I don’t know what you’ll encounter in the North Pole, but Fu Xuezhou’s life and death will be crucial for your future! Really, Lou Yan, believe me, what I say is true, I… beep beep beep”
The busy tone came through, and Lou Yan brought the phone to his eyes, confirming that there was indeed no signal.
The signal near the North Pole Circle was very poor, so it was normal for the call to be disconnected. Lou Yan frowned and tried to call Duan Zege back, but the signal was too weak to make a call.
Lou Yan decided not to redial but instead sent a text message to Duan Zege, not knowing when it would be sent, asking him not to come to the North Pole. After sending the message, Lou Yan retrieved his phone and returned to the room, looking calm.
In the room, Fu Xuezhou was still sitting on the balcony, and one-third of the red wine left in the bottle had frozen into ice along with the bottle.
Lou Yan took out a bottle of strong liquor from the liquor cabinet, walked over, and placed it on the table. “Want to have a few more drinks? It’ll warm you up.”
Fu Xuezhou nodded indifferently.
After a few sips of the strong liquor, their bodies quickly warmed up. Lou Yan and Fu Xuezhou drank and chatted casually, and before they knew it, half the bottle of liquor was gone.
Suddenly, Fu Xuezhou said, “Lou Yan, tell me about yourself.”
“Me?” Lou Yan was a bit tipsy now. He chuckled, “What’s there to tell about me?”
“Just tell me,” Fu Xuezhou insisted stubbornly, “Afterward, you can ask me three questions.”
Lou Yan tightened his grip on the glass, leaned back, and looked at the dark sea and sky, lazily recounting some of his own experiences to Fu Xuezhou.
“My mother was a painter, she didn’t like my father at all, nor did she like me much,” Lou Yan rested his hands on the armrests, pondering why the night at sea seemed so much darker than on land. He lit a cigarette, and the sparks twinkled in the darkness of the night, casually saying, “Of course, she wouldn’t like me. What she pursued was romance, art, and freedom. My father and I were just the shackles that bound her.”
Lou Yan took a drag of his cigarette, then sipped his drink. The taste of the strong liquor and the cigarette intertwined on his lips and tongue. Lou Yan lazily bit the cigarette butt, “I used to hate her a lot.”
Fu Xuezhou listened quietly, filling in the gaps in Lou Yan’s teenage years through his description.
“Because she left so heartlessly,” Lou Yan’s tone was light, “She didn’t even ask if I wanted to go with her, didn’t consider whether I would miss her… But what I hated even more was my father. I felt it was him who drove her away.”
Lou Yan pursed his lips, thinking of his rebellious and crazy youth, he was truly a rebel back then, causing a lot of trouble.
“My mother loved painting, but my artistic talent was not good at all. You know what kind of weird stuff I drew. I’ll never forget the disappointed expression on her face when she taught me to draw… Actually, when she left, I thought it was all my fault. That I was too stupid and useless, so my mom abandoned me and my dad.”
“I was terrified, but I didn’t dare admit this speculation, so I became irritable and angry. I vented the pain of losing my mother on my father, forgetting that he was also a husband who had just lost his wife. The stricter he was with me, the more I wanted to rebel. In the end, we both suffered… After he died, I realized what regret feels like. And after some time, I began to understand why my mom left.”
“The human soul is a mysterious thing, and freedom is the lifelong pursuit of the soul,” Lou Yan exhaled a puff of smoke, his eyes unfocused, “She wanted freedom, wanted to pursue her dreams, didn’t want to be trapped in the family to become a society lady who socializes with her husband in parties and business events. There’s nothing wrong with that. She was a very brave person. People live in this world for a few decades, and they should leave just as they came, alone. No one is obligated to bind their own life with someone else’s, not even if the other person is a child born from their own womb, right?”
Fu Xuezhou lowered his gaze, thoughtful. “Freedom.”
Lou Yan turned to look at him and smiled slightly, “Fu Xuezhou, are you free now?”
Fu Xuezhou also smiled, reaching out to gently touch Lou Yan’s flushed face due to drinking, meaningfully saying, “Perhaps soon.”
Feeling a bit dizzy from the alcohol, Lou Yan rubbed against his fingertips, whispering softly, “Fu Xuezhou.”
When Lou Yan called out this name, he could clearly feel Fu Xuezhou’s hand pause for a moment, then the man began to stroke Lou Yan’s cheek even more forcefully.
“Mmm.”
“I once made three serious wishes,” Lou Yan half-closed his eyes, tiredly saying, “The first wish was when my mother left, I wished for her to come back. The second wish was when my father died, I wished for him to live well. But unfortunately, neither of these wishes came true.”
With that, Lou Yan found it a bit amusing, so he self-deprecatingly chuckled, “Do you think I can fulfill the third wish?”
Fu Xuezhou tilted his head, “What’s the third wish?”
“I can’t tell you,” Lou Yan opened his eyes, the faint light in his eyes seemed to reflect the stars, and he smiled, “You just say whether it can be fulfilled or not.”
Fu Xuezhou thought Lou Yan was quite cute like this, so he couldn’t help but smirk, “Hmm, it can be fulfilled.”
“Well, that’s great…” Lou Yan yawned, covering up the strange smile on his lips, “Now it’s my turn to ask you.”
“Fu Xuezhou, is killing the Anomaly Lord your goal?”
“Mmm.”
“How many times have you destroyed the world?”
“…” Fu Xuezhou didn’t answer, he got up and picked up Lou Yan, walking back into the room, “You’re drunk.”
Lou Yan felt like he wasn’t drunk, he was quite sober. He poured a mouthful of alcohol into his own mouth and then brought his lips to Fu Xuezhou’s, passing the alcohol to him.
Fu Xuezhou swallowed a few times, then decisively pressed Lou Yan against the sliding door between the balcony and the bedroom and kissed him. As their lips and tongues intertwined, the scent of alcohol evaporated even faster. When they separated, their heavy breathing echoed clearly in each other’s ears. Now even Fu Xuezhou felt a bit intoxicated.
A sudden wave of drowsiness swept over Lou Yan. He placed his hands on Fu Xuezhou’s shoulders, trying hard to keep his eyes open. “Fu Xuezhou, tell me, how many times have you destroyed the world? This is my second question, don’t deny it.”
“Too many times, too many to count,” Fu Xuezhou finally said indifferently.
Too many to count.
Hah.
A person who could remember his own reincarnations so clearly but couldn’t remember how many times he had destroyed the world.
That was truly a dark humor.
Lou Yan closed his eyes, chuckled softly a few times, but as he laughed, he suddenly felt a bit tired. “Fu Xuezhou, why do you want to destroy the world?”
“Because I want to kill the Anomaly Lord.”
Fu Xuezhou’s eyes were filled with murderous intent. He opened the sliding door and placed Lou Yan on the warm bed.
Lou Yan struggled to open his eyelids and looked at him, “Is that the only reason? What about after killing the Anomaly Lord, will you…”
“Sleep now, the three questions are up.”
Fu Xuezhou raised his hand and closed Lou Yan’s eyes, interrupting his question. His actions and words seemed to carry an inexplicable power, instantly pushing Lou Yan’s drowsiness to its peak. He raised his hand to try to pull Fu Xuezhou’s hand away, but ultimately fell into a state of drowsiness.
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