Rebirth of a Star General Chapter 151

Chapter 151: Regrets

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Mu Xiaolou snuggled up to Mu Hongjin and talked for a while, then was called away by Aunt Tong. The servant girl by Mu Hongjin’s side helped her stand up and took a few steps forward, stopping in front of a colorful wall adorned with murals. 

The hall was spacious and quiet, with the only lively element being this mural. It depicted a bustling market, a busy canal, and all the liveliness of Jiyang City. Everyone in the painting wore cheerful and happy expressions, a kind of vivid liveliness she hadn’t seen in many years. 

After all, since she took on the position of the princess, she spent most of her time in this empty palace. 

Today, Mu Xiaolou would be sent out of the city, and the so-called Royal Uncle’s birthday banquet was just a pretense. There had been no contact between the princes for many years, so as not to arouse the suspicion of the emperor, and everyone had found their own place for the sake of peace in the kingdom. Now, the Wutuo people were hiding in the shadows, and a storm was brewing in Jiyang. She, as the princess, could not escape, and she needed to stay in the city to live or die with the common people. This was the Mu family’s backbone, but Mu Xiaolou couldn’t stay. She was Jiyang’s only hope, and if… if it came to the worst, only with Mu Xiaolou alive, there would still be hope. 

“A few officials have already ordered the evacuation of the common people,” the servant girl whispered. “Is Your Highness worried about Little Highness?” 

Mu Hongjin smiled and shook her head, “I’m worried about Jiyang City.” 

The willow tree outside the window, with its long branches dipped in the fresh green of spring, reached out to the edge of the pond, creating small ripples. In the pond, carp were eagerly nibbling, bringing a sense of vitality. 

Year after year, spring remained the same; it was only people who changed. 

When Mu Hongjin was young, she loved the life outside the palace. As the youngest daughter of Mengji Wang, when her elder brother was still alive, she was like a precious gem in the eyes of her family and lived a lively and adorable life. She was pampered by others and lived a passionate and lovable life. But ever since her elder brother passed away at the age of sixteen, her life changed. 

Mengji Wang began to require her to learn many things and imposed many rules. It was only then that Mu Hongjin truly understood how difficult her elder brother’s life had been. However, hard work was understandable; after all, Mengji Wang had no other heirs, and as the one who would eventually take over the entire palace, it was only right that she bore the responsibility. 

But if even her marriage was to be controlled by others, Mu Hongjin found it hard to accept. 

Looking back now, she realized that she had been spoiled and pampered at the time, and her youthful enthusiasm had led her to walk away without a second thought. She hadn’t realized the burden she was leaving for her father to deal with and how he would handle the high-ranking court officials seeking to annul her engagement. If it were the Mu Hongjin of today, she probably wouldn’t have had the courage. 

The more responsibilities you take on, the less freedom you have as an individual. The courage to sacrifice everything only comes once in a lifetime. After that age, after that time, it’s gone forever, along with your youthful self, disappearing into the river of time. 

Originally, Mu Hongjin had genuinely liked Liu Buwang. 

The young man in white was cold and aloof, self-disciplined, yet sometimes naively innocent. Despite his extraordinary skills and exceptional abilities, he would sincerely help a farmer find a lost sheep without complaint. Mu Hongjin thought that these qualities, like kindness and purity, were all additional traits, and her feelings for Liu Buwang had started when he had stood under the peach tree, sword in hand, protecting her and driving away the bad guys. 

Heroes saving damsels in distress had created countless happy marriages in legendary stories. She was determined to follow Liu Buwang, using all sorts of tricks, tears, and manipulation, but unfortunately, Liu Buwang remained polite and distant, showing no favoritism. 

Mu Hongjin felt disheartened, but she thought that compared to others, Liu Buwang had treated her quite well. He already earned very little money, yet when they ate at a restaurant, he would order an extra plate of almond pastries for her. When they stayed at an inn, he would spend more to get her a thicker mattress. He left his money in a conspicuous place, turning a blind eye to her occasional acts of taking some to buy cosmetics. If it weren’t for some level of fondness, he wouldn’t have tolerated it to this extent. So, Mu Hongjin always believed that with a little more time, Liu Buwang would eventually fall in love with her. 

That is until Liu Buwang’s junior sister came down from the mountain. 

The junior sister was named Yushu. Unlike the fiery temper of Jiyang women, she appeared delicate as if a gust of wind could blow her away. Her fair skin was like a porcelain doll, and she exuded an ethereal aura. She spoke softly and gently, evoking a sense of tenderness. However, Mu Hongjin could see a hint of subtle hostility in the girl’s eyes.

At that time, she was a bit naive and didn’t realize much. It was said that Yushu was also the daughter of Yunji Daoist LEader, and she had come down from the mountain specifically to help Liu Buwang deal with the worldly matters below. Mu Hongjin felt some goodwill toward Yushu and considered her as a little sister. 

Their group of two turned into three, and Mu Hongjin didn’t feel any different. Yushu was always obedient, unlike her. More than a month passed by quickly. 

On the day when Liu Buwang was supposed to return to Qiyun Mountain, they had planned to go up together. However, both inside and outside Jiyang City, officials and soldiers were conducting a thorough search for the missing Little Highness, and there were strict security measures in place, even at the foot of Qiyun Mountain. 

Mu Hongjin couldn’t go up to Qiyun Mountain. 

She pulled Liu Buwang into a room and looked at him seriously, saying, “I can’t go with you.” 

The young man thought she was causing trouble again and asked, “Why?” 

“I’ll tell you,” Mu Hongjin hesitated for a moment and then revealed the truth. “I am Mengj Wangi’s daughter. The person the officials and soldiers are looking for inside and outside the city is me.” 

Liu Buwang was stunned. 

“My father wants to marry me to the son of a court official to strengthen the position of the Menji Wang position. I don’t want that, so I ran away, and I didn’t expect to meet you. I’ve been very happy over this past month, Liu Buwang,” she didn’t call him “Young Hero” this time but used his name. “I don’t want to marry him, but I can’t go up the mountain with you. What should I do?” 

The girl was no longer as lively and playful as before. She looked at him quietly with complete trust in her eyes, and perhaps a hint of unconscious dependence. 

Liu Buwang didn’t know what to say. Perhaps he had long realized that Mu Hongjin’s identity was extraordinary, and the girl who lived in Mengji Wang’s palace was different from the ordinary girls in Jiyang City. 

Liu Buwang thought for a long time and said, “In that case, you should wait for me in this inn. I will go up the mountain and inform my master of this matter. In a few days, I will come back down the mountain to pick you up and find a way to resolve this.” 

Mu Hongjin felt a bit reluctant, “Are you leaving now?” 

“I will come back,” the young man said somewhat uneasily. 

On the day he left, Mu Hongjin saw him off in the open space behind the inn, her eyes filled with unease, as if she had foreseen something. She couldn’t help but grab Liu Buwang’s sleeve and said, “Liu Buwang, remember your promise. You must come back.” 

“Don’t worry,” he comforted her with a pat on the head, the first and last time he did so. 

Liu Buwang and Yushu left, and Mu Hongjin continued to wait in the inn. She believed that Liu Buwang would come back. Even though Liu Buwang hadn’t fallen in love with her yet, he was a man of his word. 

Two days passed, and Liu Buwang didn’t return. 

Mu Hongjin thought that perhaps he had encountered some trouble on the way. After several days of continuous rain, the mountain paths might have become treacherous, making it impossible for him to descend immediately. Or perhaps Yunji Daoist Leader had given him some important task that he needed to complete first. 

Another five days passed, and there was still no sign of Liu Buwang. Mu Hongjin began to worry, considering the state of affairs in the world; could he have been waylaid by bandits on the road? Although he had exceptional swordsmanship, his pure and kind-hearted nature allowed her to easily deceive him. How could he contend with the cunning and unscrupulous individuals? 

On the tenth day, someone finally arrived at the inn, but it was not Liu Buwang, it was the officials and soldiers. The leader of the officials and soldiers stood in front of her with a respectful yet stern tone, “Your Highness, it’s time to return home.” 

Mu Hongjin was taken back to Mengji Wang’s palace and locked in a room, and she pounded on the window, shouting, “Let me out!” 

No one answered.

She began a hunger strike to protest, and his father, Mengji Wang, ordered the doors to be opened. 

Mu Hongjin rushed to Mengji Wang and tearfully complained, “Father, how could you let them lock me up?” 

“Hongjin,” Mengji Wang shook his head and smiled, placing a tray of her favorite snacks in front of her, “these are all your favorite treats.” 

“I don’t want to eat.” Mu Hongjin turned away, “I want to leave the palace.” 

Mengji Wang didn’t get angry; he fell silent for a moment before asking, “Are you waiting for that young man with the surname Liu?” 

Mu Hongjin suddenly looked up, her surprise hard to conceal, “How did you know?” 

“He won’t be coming back.” 

“No, he will!” Mu Hongjin couldn’t help but say, “He promised me, he won’t break his word.” 

“Really,” Mengji Wang said indifferently, “how do you think I found your whereabouts?” 

Mu Hongjin was stunned. 

The cruel words from her father’s mouth shattered the beautiful dream she had been deceiving herself with all along. “It was he who told me your location.” 

“He personally handed you over.”

Why Liu Buwang had chosen to send her back to the royal palace was a question that Mu Hongjin couldn’t understand in the end. She was reluctant to believe Mengji Wang’s words, but Liu Buwang had truly vanished from her life, never to reappear.

Mu Hongjin later gradually came to believe it. 

A person like that, if they wanted to find someone, how could they fail? She persisted for nearly half a year but couldn’t endure it any longer. 

Half a year later, Mu Hongjin was married, to the son of a current court official. Although it was a marriage, she was referred to as “Lady of the House.” The position of Mengji Wang was secured, but the son born was still under the “Mu” surname. 

Her husband was not as bad as Mu Hongjin had initially thought, but he couldn’t be considered outstanding either. They lived a courteous life, and her husband took concubines, which she readily accepted without jealousy or resentment. Her husband also treated her with respect. To outsiders, this was the most blissful marriage in a blind wedding. But Mu Hongjin felt that her vibrancy and vitality, which had bloomed so rapidly on that spring day, had faded away just as quickly and disappeared. 

She always felt her heart was empty and didn’t know what she was searching for. So, she ended up spending more time on official matters in Jiyang City. 

A red carp leaped out of the water, creating ripples in the spring pool. After a moment, its red tail disappeared beneath the water’s surface. 

Mu Hongjin gazed at the water absentmindedly. 

She told He Yan that Liu Buwang didn’t come to the inn to fulfill their agreement, and they hadn’t seen each other since. In truth, she was lying. After that, she did see Liu Buwang again, but that meeting couldn’t be considered pleasant. 

It was the second year after she gave birth to her child, and she took her young son and her husband to Baosi Temple in Jiyang City to offer incense and pray for blessings. The Buddha statues were serene, and the sounds of chanting filled the air. She prayed for her son to grow up healthy and well and for Jiyang City to have peace and happiness. After finishing the prayer, as they were about to leave, they saw someone seemingly spying outside the temple gate. Mu Hongjin ordered her guards to apprehend a young woman. 

After years of separation, the young woman was as delicate and obedient as when they first met. In her eyes, there was a mixture of fear and anxiety as she looked at Mu Hongjin. 

Mu Hongjin was taken aback; it was Yushu. 

She instinctively wanted to look for Liu Buwang’s figure. Since there was Yushu, maybe Liu Buwang was there as well.

Yushu, however, seemed to understand what was on her mind and blurted out, “He’s not here!” 

“Oh?” Mu Hongjin looked at her, smiling meaningfully. 

Time can make a woman grow rapidly, and Mu Hongjin was no longer the naive girl from those days who couldn’t even distinguish her rivals. She, of course, understood the source of the hostility in the girl’s eyes before her from those times, but Mu Hongjin never considered her a rival. 

She tilted her head, crouched down, and with great interest, stared at Yushu’s face. “It doesn’t matter if he’s not here. I’ve captured you, and he will naturally appear.” 

Yushu’s face changed dramatically. 

Mu Hongjin stood up with a cold expression. “Let’s say a female assassin has appeared in the temple, with an intent to assassinate this Highness, and she has already been captured by the guards.” 

A red shadow was drawn at the corner of her eye, exquisite and splendid. She was no longer the girl with clear, innocent eyes who knew nothing. 

Mu Hongjin didn’t return to the Royal Mansion; she stayed at the temple, dismissed all the guards and servants, told her husband to take their young son and leave, and waited alone for that person to appear. 

At midnight, that person did indeed appear. 

After years of separation, he seemed to have shed the youthful innocence and become even colder and more unfamiliar. And the first thing he said upon seeing Mu Hongjin wasn’t about how she had been all these years, but rather, “Where is Yushu?” 

There was no emotion, as if they had always been complete strangers. 

Mu Hongjin lowered her head, feeling like laughing. She almost doubted whether those days, that spring day outside Jiyang City, were just her imagination. She had regarded Liu Buwang as a hero who suddenly appeared in her life, but in Liu Buwang’s eyes, she was nothing more than an unexpected incident. 

“In the prison,” she said in a cold tone. 

Liu Buwang looked at her. 

He had changed a lot, and she felt very unfamiliar. The girl in his memories had no resemblance to the woman before him, wearing a red robe and a golden crown, with a cold and haughty expression. 

“Yushu could not possibly assassinate you.” 

“Why couldn’t she?” Mu Hongjin sarcastically laughed. “One may know a person for a long time without understanding his true nature. Moreover, I don’t know her.” 

“You let her go,” Liu Buwang said, “and capture me.” 

His gaze at her was cold and emotionless, no longer the indulgence or annoyance of the past. Only the calmness of a stranger, and perhaps a touch of disdain for the “privileged.” 

How ridiculous it all was.

“Why is it,” Mu Hongjin stepped forward, gazing into his eyes, “that she’s just a junior sister to you, yet you defend her like this? Do you like her?” 

It was merely a probing question, and Mu Hongjin wasn’t sure herself what she was expecting. Perhaps she hoped for a rapid denial from him, followed by him looking at her and saying, “In my heart, there’s only you.” It was such a clichéd scene that Mu Hongjin used to find it nauseating when she saw it in the past. But now, she was secretly hoping to hear it from his mouth. 

Unfortunately, words were just words, and legends were nothing more than fabricated stories. Excessive affection often only led to more resentment in the end. How many lovers turned into enemies? How many couples didn’t see each other in the martial world? 

Liu Buwang said, “Yes.” 

She asked, “What did you say?” 

“I like her.” 

The young man’s voice was calm and straightforward, and in an instant, Mu Hongjin felt her fingers trembling. There was a time when she also wanted to hear this sentence from Liu Buwang’s mouth. For the sake of this sentence, she had used all sorts of tricks, but Liu Buwang’s lips were sealed tight. She had felt exasperated many times, thinking that his mouth was made of stone and couldn’t be pried open no matter what. 

Now, he had said it so easily. 

It turned out that it wasn’t that his mouth couldn’t be pried open; it was just that she wasn’t the one he was talking about. 

She felt increasingly ridiculous in her heart. Everything that had happened in the past flashed through her mind one by one. When she was the carefree girl, she hadn’t noticed Yushu’s affection for Liu Buwang. When she was Princess Mengji, she had realized it but didn’t pay much attention to Yushu. 

It turned out that they were the ones who truly loved each other, and she was the one who overestimated herself. 

What use was there in being Princess Mengji and having a noble status? In matters of the heart, she was thoroughly defeated and didn’t even have a chance to compete. She had been fixated on this for so many years. 

“Back then, was it you who reported the incident at the inn to my father?” she asked. 

Liu Buwang said, “Yes.” 

“When you left back then, did you never think about coming back?” 

“Yes.” 

Mu Hongjin took a deep breath, as if she wanted to see more clearly, to feel the pain more profoundly, to uproot something deep within herself and never look at it again. She asked, “Liu Buwang, have you never had any feelings for me?” 

Liu Buwang’s beautiful eyes gazed at her, his expression as indifferent as a passerby. He only said one word, “Yes.” 

“I see,” she murmured, her eyes getting a bit warm. Yet she still raised the corner of her mouth and said, “If you’re wholeheartedly in love with your junior sister, does that mean you’re willing to do anything for her?” 

Liu Buwang looked at her. “What do you want to do?” 

Mu Hongjin’s fingers traced his shoulder slowly, her tone ambiguous and flirtatious. “If you become my lover, I’ll let her go.” 

Liu Buwang remained calm from start to finish, his expression unruffled. Only at this moment, it was as if he had been stung by something. He quickly stepped back, avoiding Mu Hongjin’s touch.

Mu Hongjin’s body stiffened, and she mockingly curled her lips, her tone deliberately contemptuous. “What, not willing? Being a princess’s lover is not something everyone can have the privilege of.” 

Liu Buwang stared at her with unwavering composure. His white robes were immaculate, and the sword at his waist gleamed brightly. He appeared as elegant as when they first met. A person as refined and aloof as him couldn’t accept such humiliation. 

But she was determined to humiliate him. After all these years, she had harbored resentment, and he could act as if none of it had ever happened. Things he couldn’t do for her, he definitely couldn’t do for Yushu. 

Otherwise, what would Mu Hongjin become? A touchstone to prove their true love? 

Then, in the dimly lit temple, Liu Buwang slowly knelt down, calmly answering, “Okay.” 

A sudden pain shot through Mu Hongjin’s heart, almost taking her breath away. 

What more did she want to prove? 

Enough. This was enough. The questions that had troubled her for many years, the unanswered results, whether happy or sad, were finally resolved. A woman from Jiyang could love and hate, could take and let go. As a princess, she had her pride. She had the whole city of Jiyang. Did she really need to risk her life for a man? 

It was just an ill-fated entanglement. 

She raised her chin and said coldly, “But this Highness is not willing.” 

“Someone like you cannot stand by this Highness.” With each word she spoke, it was as if she was cutting into her own heart with a knife. Even Mu Hongjin herself was surprised that within just a month, she had developed such profound feelings for Liu Buwang. Cutting off this entanglement personally brought forth a lot of reluctance. 

“Take your beloved and leave Jiyang City,” she said. 

“Thank you, Your Highness.” 

His voice was as flat as ever, and Mu Hongjin’s tears fell in the darkness. 

“Let’s go our separate ways. Liu Buwang, from now on, you and your junior sister can never enter Jiyang City again. Otherwise, the time this Highness sees you again, it will be the last time.” 

The hem of her red robe created a bright and brilliant radiance in the dark night, marking a clear boundary, indicating that the two of them would no longer have any connection. It was like the flower petals under the peach blossom tree when they first met, covering the ground completely. It dazzled and entranced people, making them indulge in a dream of spring, never wanting to wake up. 

But dreams always had to end. 

She let Yushu go and returned to the palace as if nothing had happened. She and her husband still lived harmoniously, but there was an underlying unease. 

Several years passed, and Mengji Wang passed away. Mu Hongjin gradually became busier. A few more years went by, and her husband also passed away. She then focused all her energy on her young son. 

Later on, her son also passed away, leaving only Mu Xiaolou to depend on her. 

Mu Xiaolou resembled her as a young girl, so she often spoiled her, just like when her elder brother was still alive and her father doted on her. Mu Hongjin was well aware that once she sat on the throne as a princess, one day, the carefree girl who would sneak out of the mansion to play would disappear. So, before she disappeared, she wanted to cherish her and let her live a more vibrant life. 

She hoped Mu Xiaolou could have her own story, instead of being like her, wasting many years in someone else’s story. 

The apricot blossoms were in full bloom, with a lively and dense display on the branches. A girl who wandered through the garden mistakenly entered the deep woods of flowers and had a long and beautiful dream. This dream had both joy and sorrow, but in a flash, it felt as though a lifetime had passed. 

Her spring days had ended long ago. 

Or perhaps, they had never come at all.

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