Chapter 181: Missed Opportunities
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He Yan stared blankly at Yan He. Her mind went completely blank, and in that moment, she didn’t know how to respond. The only thought that kept repeating in her mind was, “How is this possible?”
How is this possible
“No… It can’t be.” She tried to make her expression appear relaxed. “Commander Xiao is not such a warm-hearted person.”
“I knew you would react like this,” Yan He said impatiently. “So, I haven’t bothered mentioning it to anyone in these years. Anyway, no one would believe it even if I did.”
“But, I can swear on my head that this is absolutely true. Back when we were studying at the academy, that madman Xiao Huaijin actually gave daily advice on swordsmanship to He Rufei.” He seemed to recall the past and his gaze still held a hint of disbelief. “It was terrifying every single day.”
At that time, he was still a young and spirited youth. Before Xiao Huaijin descended the mountain, Yan He had secured the position of the top student in the academy. However, after Xiao Huaijin entered the academy, Yan He was relegated to second place.
This feeling was quite irritating. Either he had never been the first, always the second, or he had been the first and then became the second, never surpassing Xiao Huaijin again. This was very discouraging and made others think that he, Yan He, was inferior to Xiao Huaijin.
All of them are proud children of heaven. Who truly acknowledges whom? Yan He wishes he had six extra hours a day to devote to studying, and another six hours to compete with Xiao Jue. After all, every competition yields gains; knowing oneself and the enemy ensures a hundred victories. Unfortunately, this Second Young Master Xiao is not a patient person. He even ignores the words of the teacher, let alone Yan He.
Yan He challenges him ten times, and Xiao Jue responds once, considering that he is in a good mood. Yan He is arrogant, but compared to Xiao Jue’s calm indifference, he falls slightly short.
He iwas truly getting infuriated by Xiao Jue.
So, in Yan He’s youth, life was carefree, smooth sailing, with the only adversity being Xiao Jue. At that time, he believed that his lifelong wish was to defeat Xiao Jue.
The competition for the first and second positions in Xianchang Academy is intense. Even the positions at the bottom are sought after by people like Lin Shuanghe and He Rufei.
Lin Shuanghe is okay; as a descendant of the medical family, his ambitions were not in this direction, and he was content whether in literary or martial pursuits. However, the eldest son of the He family, He Rufei, is quite peculiar. He was exceptionally diligent and serious, always trying every possible method to make progress, no matter how small. Regarding such people, Yan He, at most, looked down upon them and didn’t particularly dislike them. Geniuses like him tend to have a somewhat condescending attitude toward ordinary people.
However, something changed Yan He’s perspective.
He accidentally discovered He Rufei practicing swordsmanship at night. Rather than saying Yan He was following He Rufei, it’s more accurate to say he was observing Xiao Jue’s every move. One night, Yan He saw Xiao Jue sitting in the backyard, watching He Rufei practice swordsmanship. With his clever mind, Yan He thought about it for a long time but couldn’t figure out the reason behind it.
What is Xiao Jue doing? Unable to sleep, so he comes out to watch a performance? Or does he find He Rufei’s clumsy swordsmanship amusing? But if that were the case, it would be fine for a day or two, not every day. No wonder he sleeps during the day at the academy; perhaps he doesn’t sleep at night at all.
Xiao Jue accompanied He Rufei in practicing swordsmanship every night, but he didn’t say or do much. He just drank tea while He Rufei, with a good temper, tolerated being observed like a monkey without getting angry, diligently focusing on his own practice.
Yan He, for reasons unknown, also came out every day, secretly spying on them. He felt that Xiao Jue must have some ulterior motive; he couldn’t possibly be engaging in such useless activities. Looking back later, Yan He couldn’t bear to face his past self. If others had seen them in the backyard, they would probably have thought that Xianchang Academy housed three lunatics.
But at that time, Yan He had only one thought: he wanted to see what Xiao Jue was up to. And he did find a clue.
He Rufei’s swordsmanship improved day by day.
It was a bit strange; He Rufei’s teacher at the academy is also excellent, but the progress is not as rapid. However, He Rufei, practicing swordsmanship at night, managed to address the previous day’s problems each day. His swordsmanship has made significant leaps compared to the beginning.
Yan He refused to believe that He Rufei had such talent. After thinking for a while, he caught Xiao Jue leaving notes on He Rufei’s table.
Opening the paper, Yan He saw densely written notes about the flaws in last night’s swordsmanship and areas for improvement. Yan He sarcastically remarked, “You’re more meticulous than the teachers at the academy.”
Xiao Jue looked at him coldly and said, “You follow me every day. Are you trying to do the same as those girls outside?”
Those girls outside were Xiao Jue’s admirers who occasionally “passed by” the academy. After all, Xiao Jue’s handsome face and indifferent, lazy demeanor were truly captivating, attracting many admirers.
Yan He threw the paper on the table and looked at Xiao Jue with disgust. “Who would be like those women?”
Xiao Jue turned to leave, and Yan He hurried after him. Unwilling to accept it, he asked, “You spend every night helping him with swordsmanship?”
“You follow me every night just to watch me help him with swordsmanship?” Xiao Jue answered nonchalantly.
“You’re insane!” Yan He couldn’t believe it. “You’re wasting your time for someone like him!”
Although he doesn’t like Xiao Jue, Yan He had to acknowledge Xiao Jue’s extraordinary talent. Just as Yan He considers Xiao Jue his rival, he expected Xiao Jue to treat him the same way, striving daily to maintain his top position. But now, it seemed that Xiao Jue was not diligent, doesn’t value himself, and instead spent every day going to help someone at the bottom. Yan He found it hard to understand and felt indignant. Doesn’t this imply that in Xiao Jue’s eyes, he is less eye-catching than He Rufei?
What’s going on!
“Hello, are you listening to me?” Seeing that Xiao Jue ignored him, Yan He became anxious, circled around Xiao Jue, and said, “Why are you wasting time on that kind of waste?”
“Oh?” Xiao Jue’s beautiful eyes glanced at him, walked up to the rockery, found a place to lie down, hands behind his head, closed his eyes as if napping. “I don’t think so.”
Don’t think what? Don’t think he’s a waste?
“You…” Yan He angrily said, “You give him guidance every day, and he has only made so little progress. There are so many people in Xianchang Academy, why did you choose He Rufei? Are you trying to turn the last one into the first? Let me tell you, give up early! With He Rufei’s aptitude, it’s impossible.”
Xiao Jue: “I’m not that bored.”
His indifferent attitude made Yan He even more angry. He turned and walked out, “I’m going to tell He Rufei not to occupy you. Using the guidance of Xianchang Academy’s number one, and practicing to this, it’s really ridiculous!”
Behind him came Xiao Jue’s lazy voice, “Challenge.”
Yan He stopped, “What?”
“If you come to challenge me in the future, three times, I’ll accept one, ” he didn’t open his eyes, his eyelashes drooped, against the backdrop of his jade-like skin, lying on the rockery as if in a painting of a handsome and elegant young man, “the condition is to keep it a secret.”
Yan He stood still, conflicted in his heart, finally unable to resist the temptation of Xiao Jue agreeing to a challenge. He gritted his teeth, “Twice.”
“Deal.”
The sunlight shone in the courtyard, hot and spicy. Yan He sighed, “That’s it, as an exchange, I will keep it a secret for him and not tell He Rufei.”
Even though many years had passed, Yan He still felt resentful when he mentioned this matter again. If He Rufei had made great progress in swordsmanship under Xiao Jue’s guidance, it would have been acceptable, but he hadn’t improved much. In Yan He’s eyes, it seemed like a waste of Xiao Jue’s careful teaching. But Xiao Jue was patient with He Rufei, declining challenges from Yan He while diligently guiding He Rufei every day.
Yan He didn’t understand where his dissatisfaction and jealousy came from.
Perhaps he couldn’t stand seeing someone with mediocre talent receiving guidance from a renowned teacher and not making the most of it.
“He later made a name for himself,” Yan He sneered, “But in my opinion, if it were me and I had Xiao Huaijin’s guidance, it would definitely be more than this. I thought he could live up to the teaching, but this time in the Huayuan battle, I’m really speechless. He is still the same as before. I think Flying Phoenix General should leave this title early to avoid being a laughingstock.”
“Kid,” Yan He looked at the person beside him, “Why aren’t you saying anything?”
He Yan was stunned, the sun glaring in her eyes made her a little dizzy, whether it was being startled by Yan He’s words or for some other reason, she murmured, “I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”
“More than just surprised, at first, I thought Xiao Huaijin was crazy,” Yan He sneered. “And logically, after He Rufei owed such a big favor to Xiao Huaijin, I thought their relationship was good. However, over the past few years, it seems that the two of them are not very close. In this crisis in Rundu, Huayuan is so close to Rundu, and Xiao Huaijin actually wrote to me without finding He Rufei? It seems that Xiao Huaijin has been keeping this matter a secret until now, and He Rufei still doesn’t know. But it’s also hard to say, after all, that was many years ago. Now both of them have considerable reputation, and it’s natural for He Rufei to develop a sense of rivalry.”
Yan He really took the opportunity to tarnish He Rufei, but He Yan now had no intention of arguing with him. Her mind was filled with… Could it be that her swordsmanship back then was secretly guided by Xiao Jue?
She had always thought that it was a kind teacher from Xianchang Academy who, seeing her inadequate swordsmanship, secretly taught her. She had been very grateful for this, and if it weren’t for the trouble in the He family back then, she would have seen who that teacher was and thanked him properly.
It had always been a regret in He Yan’s heart. Now, from Yan He’s mouth, she learned this incredible truth. It was actually Xiao Jue?
If it was Xiao Jue, everything made sense. His skills were not inferior to the teachers in Xianchang Academy. He Yan hadn’t considered Xiao Jue simply because of his personality; he was not someone inclined to help others, and their relationship was not particularly close.
So, it turned out that during those nights when he came to the backyard to watch her practice sword and drink tea, it wasn’t for leisure but to guide her progress.
He Yan took a deep breath. How could she only realize it now?
“What’s that expression on your face?” Yan He frowned. “You seem very stimulated?”
“I…” He Yan coughed lightly and said, “I just think Commander Xiao is really a good person.”
“What good person? I think he’s sick. This person is strong in everything in the academy, but who could have guessed that his judgment is so poor.” Yan He brushed off the dust on his body, stood up, and picked up the halberd beside him. “Speaking of He Rufei, it’s not pleasant. Anyway, I’m going to continue practicing the halberd. What about you?”
He Yan’s thoughts were in chaos at the moment. Naturally, she had no interest in watching this person show off his skills in front of her. She said, “In that case, I won’t disturb General Yan. I’ll go back to my room first.”
He Yan turned and left.
…
The sky gradually darkened.
Xiao Jue came out of the hall, and Li Kuang wiped the sweat from his forehead.
Due to the incident with Qiluo, he couldn’t face He Yan with dignity. When he did see He Yan, he felt nervous and apprehensive. He thought talking to Xiao Jue would be more comfortable, but this Right Commander was even more difficult to deal with than the still youthful Wuan Lang.
He carefully inquired about everything that had happened in Rundu these days, including the incident of placing straw men on the city tower and the night raid on the enemy camp to burn provisions. Li Kuang didn’t claim credit for himself and laid out He Yan’s ideas in full. As for the women and Qiluo, Xiao Jue had seen them at that time. When Li Kuang reiterated, this young commander did not show the same stimulation as He Yan. Instead, he appeared quite calm. However, this calmness, in Li Kuang’s eyes, made him even more uneasy.
Having clarified everything about Rundu, Li Kuang also learned that their group would set out to return to the capital in a few days. Li Kuang breathed a sigh of relief. Regardless, the crisis in Rundu was considered resolved. Yan He would leave some troops here, but those Wutuo people probably wouldn’t dare to come back.
The city was defended, but… not really defended.
Li Kuang understood one thing clearly: he had lost the trust of the people.
As the Zongbing of this city, he wouldn’t stay for long.
The tall and robust man sat alone in the room. After a while, he buried his face in his hands, and hot tears silently streamed down.
This was the punishment he deserved.
…
The night in Rundu was cool.
The scorching heat of the day had completely faded away at night, but due to the famine caused by the siege, the sparse vegetation revealed a desolate atmosphere reminiscent of autumn.
A jar of autumn wine was placed on the table. Xiao Jue turned around, just having taken off his outer robe. He heard someone knocking on the door outside, each knock polite and respectful.
He paused, “Come in.”
The door opened, and He Yan stood at the entrance, looking at him. She asked, “Commander, can I come in?”
During their time in Liangzhou, this person never knocked on doors. When she wanted to find someone, she even skipped the main entrance to save time. She simply knocked a few times on the middle door, regardless of whether someone answered or not, considering it as a greeting. Then she skillfully slipped the door latch and emerged from behind the door with a bright smile, calling out, “Commander!”
Now, having stayed in Rundu for more than a month, she had become so well-behaved and courteous. However, within this courtesy, there was a subtle politeness that was hard to detect.
Xiao Jue raised his eyebrows slightly, neatly placing his outer robe. He said calmly, “What’s the matter?”
He didn’t answer her “can” or “cannot.” Anyway, He Yan would come in by herself. As expected, after being obedient for only a moment, He Yan naturally walked in, closing the door behind her.
The room looked luxurious, but now Rundu relied on the supplies brought by Yan He to sustain itself, so there was naturally no tea. Xiao Jue picked up the white jade teapot on the table and poured water into a tea cup. He Yan walked over and said, “Let me do it.”
She took the tea pot from Xiao Jue’s hand.
Xiao Jue didn’t refuse. When he moved, he unintentionally touched her fingers, causing a slight tremor in He Yan’s heart. She raised her head to look at him, but he lowered his eyes, and his expression was unreadable. Pretending to be indifferent, He Yan walked to the other side of the table and began pouring water slowly.
The intimacy between their skins had already broken countless barriers. However, back in Liangzhou, due to various inconveniences, she had deliberately ignored it. Now, with many things clear to her, she also understood her own feelings for Xiao Jue. They say that without desires, one is strong, but with a guilty conscience, she felt uneasy in many ways.
She cursed herself silently in her mind, trying to speak calmly. “Commander, Brother Lin said today that in a few days, we will be returning to the capital together.”
Xiao Jue sat down at the table. “Don’t want to go back?”
“No.” She had already planned to return to the capital. “But why would His Majesty suddenly summon you back to the capital? And General Yan? If everyone returns to the capital, won’t it be dangerous outside?”
With the Wutuo people eyeing them, even if the emperor was concerned about the safety of the capital, there was no need to recall all the fierce generals of Great Wei. If the Wutuo people launched a comeback at this time, although the possibility was small, precautions should still be taken.
“You’ll know when we go back.” Xiao Jue didn’t directly answer her question.
Well, it wouldn’t be appropriate to speculate before going back. But right now, she didn’t really come for this matter. She just wanted to find a reason to start a conversation.
Handing a cup of tea to Xiao Jue, she held the other one. With the warm tea in her palm, the girl lowered her head, took a sip, and after a while, she looked up, as if searching for words, “Commander, I met General Yan during the day.”
Xiao Jue made a sound of acknowledgment, lowering his head to read the book. His attitude had been strange these days—cold but calm, which made him seem indifferent. He was neither actively engaging with He Yan nor causing trouble for her.
This subtle sense of distance left He Yan somewhat puzzled.
“It seems like General Yan doesn’t like Flying Phoenix General,” with no one responding, He Yan could only forge ahead on her own, “I sat with him for a while and only then did I learn that you, Commander, Flying Phoenix General, and General Yan were originally classmates!”
Her artificial casual tone caused Xiao Jue to pause. After a moment, he said, “Keep your distance from him.”
It was already good enough that he spoke. He Yan pushed the tea cup forward, looking at him. “I asked General Yan why he disliked the Young Master He so much. General Yan told me…” She deliberately prolonged her tone, observing Xiao Jue’s reaction. “Because, Commander, you guided Flying Phoenix General in swordsmanship every night. So, General Yan is jealous and has disliked him for so many years.” Leaning on her cheek, He Yan looked puzzled. “So, Commander, do you actually like Flying Phoenix General?”
She appeared like a subordinate curious about her superior’s story, but her heart was beating fast. Although Yan He said so, He Yan still wanted to verify it herself, unsure if what Yan He said was true and uncertain about the reasons behind Xiao Jue’s actions.
Xiao Jue closed the book, calmly looking at her. “I am not a homosexual.”
“I didn’t say you were a homosexual.” He Yan said, “What I mean is, do you admire Flying Phoenix General? Is that why you help him secretly? Is it true that you guide him in swordsmanship every night?”
Xiao Jue remained silent. With his temperament, his silence was tantamount to confirmation.
He Yan sat up straight, feeling indescribable emotions at this moment. After a while, she asked, “Why did you want to guide him?”
Xiao Jue raised his eyes to look at her. “Why ask this?”
He Yan lowered her head, concealing her emotions. “Just thinking it’s not worth it for you. According to what General Yan said, Young Master He was not outstanding in his studies and was average in both civil and martial matters when he was at Xianchang Academy. I don’t know why you chose him, and why did you specifically guide him in swordsmanship. Moreover, after doing so much, you didn’t tell Young Master He about it. Does Young Master He still not know that you were the one who helped him back then? What you’re doing… don’t you think it’s not worth it?”
“It’s just a casual act, no need to worry about it.” Xiao Jue said lightly. “What does it matter whether he knows or not?”
He Yan stared at him directly, thinking that if she had known earlier that it was him… if she had known it was him, perhaps that bit of a young girl’s infatuation would have lasted longer. Maybe when Xu Zhiheng appeared, she wouldn’t have wholeheartedly fallen for him. She had been lonely for too long, and it was Xiao Jue who appeared first… but unfortunately, her feelings awakened too late.
Seemingly noticing her unusual expression, Xiao Jue’s gaze paused, and he frowned. “You…”
“I find it a pity for you, Commander,” He Yan smiled brightly, “It’s just that Young Master He is truly too oblivious. Even if you, Commander, want to hide your merits and fame, not wanting others to know, Young Master He should have investigated it himself, right? Just letting it go like this, he should have discovered you earlier. He could achieve his current reputation, you played a part in it.”
She was anxious like this, and Xiao Jue looked at her thoughtfully, suddenly curling his lips. “Actually, he tried to find me.”
He Yan was stunned.
Under the lamplight, his face was calm and handsome. He seemed to recall scenes from the past, and his beautiful black eyes were deep, rippling with a hint of melancholy, almost drowning.
In fact, Xiao Jue had seen He Rufei looking for someone in a daze. The dialogues written on those notes expressed gratitude to him every time, in a humble and clumsy manner, and there was even an attempt to catch him once.
However, how could he be caught? He sat on a tree, watching He Rufei walk by from below the tree. Although wearing a mask, one could imagine the dejected look on his face, which seemed inexplicably pitiful.
Eventually, he finally relented and agreed to let He Rufei see him, even though the outcome might not be a happy one.
“There was one time he arranged to meet me at the academy.”
“What happened later? Did you meet him?”
The man, as elegant as beautiful jade, lowered his head and said softly, “I went.”
“But he didn’t come that night.”
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Could it be that he knew about “He Rufei’s” gender back they
Thanks for the chapter