Chapter 66: Confession Before Marriage
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“Wait.”
“Chu Feng!”
Xie Shiyu grabbed Chu Feng, who was about to walk into the Civil Affairs Bureau.
“What’s wrong?”
Chu Feng smiled and turned back. His face still carried the smile from earlier, like ripples spreading out.
But he couldn’t find the same smile on Xie Shiyu’s face.
Chu Feng blinked twice, his gaze scanning Xie Shiyu’s face, finally confirming that Xie Shiyu showed no surprise at the idea of them getting married.
—Just like when he was seven and sneaked into Little Xie’s house wanting to go to school together. Little Xie showed no surprise; instead, it could be said that he was frightened.
“Did I… surprise you too much?”
Chu Feng stopped his steps towards the Civil Affairs Bureau. The smile on his face froze into ice, turning into a cold mirror.
“Well… a little,” Xie Shiyu said.
Chu Feng noticed that when he spoke, Xie Shiyu didn’t look at him.
—Xie Shiyu was avoiding him.
Chu Feng frowned. He had hardly ever seen such a dodging expression on Xie Shiyu’s face.
Especially today, on the day they were supposed to get married. They were already standing at the entrance of the Civil Affairs Bureau; what was this guy hesitating about?
Although the arrangement for the marriage certificate was a bit sudden, Chu Feng thought that their relationship had already reached this point. Getting married was just a matter of having one more piece of paper to make their relationship official.
—Or was it that, in Xie Shiyu’s view, they hadn’t reached that point yet?
Chu Feng had long been fed up with his mother’s persistent “matchmaking-style” dinners and adding on WeChat. It wasn’t as direct as “blind dates.”
His mother always found sons of old acquaintances. Chu Feng knew them; they had given him birthday presents and red envelopes when he was a child, celebrating birthdays and New Years. They had watched him grow up.
Now, just a simple dinner gathering, meeting each other again, he felt bad for Xie Shiyu.
If he went, he knew both sets of parents actually had something in mind. He felt sorry for Xie Shiyu.
If they got married, with a ring on his left ring finger, wherever they went to eat, he would feel like a person with a sense of belonging. Chu Feng would be a little more at ease.
He just wanted to make him and Xie Shiyu more open and public. Why was it so difficult?
He used to think that the toughest hurdle was his parents’ approval, but he didn’t expect that at the entrance of the Civil Affairs Bureau, it was Xie Shiyu himself hesitating, unwilling to decisively step into legal marriage with him.
Chu Feng felt a little angry. He tried to adjust his emotions:
“If you think it’s too sudden, then… shall we come back tomorrow?”
Xie Shiyu fell silent, as if he wanted to say something but hesitated.
Chu Feng: “I just thought, isn’t today the first day that same-sex marriage is legal? It has more significance. Otherwise… should we wait three more days to let you process it?”
“Chu Feng…”
Xie Shiyu finally spoke, “Perhaps, we don’t have to be in such a hurry.”
Chu Feng took a deep breath. The frustration he had been suppressing under his parents’ pressure for a long time was forced up by Xie Shiyu’s words, and he struggled to suppress it, saying:
“So when do you think we should get married?”
“Chu Feng, you’re only twenty years old and still in your second year of college, and I’m in my first…”
Chu Feng: “So what?”
“Do you think, if…”
Xie Shiyu looked at Chu Feng’s gradually worsening expression, carefully weighing his words, and finally said:
“Would it be more appropriate to wait until we’re twenty-five or twenty-six before discussing marriage?”
“Twenty-five or twenty-six?”
Chu Feng chuckled, completely different from the warm smile he had when he first said “let’s get our certificate,” more like a sneer that came from his nose, cold and mocking, whether it was directed at Xie Shiyu or himself:
“Are you saying I have to wait for you for another five or six years?”
“I didn’t mean it like that…” Xie Shiyu said.
“Then what do you mean?”
“I didn’t mean to make you wait. What I meant was…”
“Chu Feng, have you ever thought about whether you really want to decide on something as big as a lifetime commitment at the young age of twenty? I just think you should be more cautious. Have you talked to your parents about getting our certificate?”
“Parents?”
A fire burned in Chu Feng’s heart:
“Xie Shiyu, are you really naive or pretending to be? Would my parents agree?”
After a brief silence, Xie Shiyu suddenly took a deep breath:
“Then you should think about why they always disagree.”
“Why wouldn’t they agree? Don’t you know?” Chu Feng continued, “Because my parents like people whose parents are both university professors, Ivy League graduates, interned at PricewaterhouseCoopers, have cars and houses, and will be elites in society in the future! My mom invites me to dinners with her friends in every possible way, and I can’t stand it anymore.”
After Chu Feng finished speaking, Xie Shiyu fell silent.
He thought that at this point, Xie Shiyu should be able to understand him, or at least show some dissatisfaction. Would a boyfriend be happy when forced by his parents to attend dinner gatherings with matchmaking implications?
To his surprise, Xie Shiyu just paused briefly and said:
“Chu Feng, you should talk to your mom about it instead of suddenly wanting to marry me at twenty.”
Chu Feng was completely provoked:
“Why can’t we get married at twenty? I have hands, feet, ID card, household registration under my name, and property. Xie Shiyu, all you need to do is walk in and sign a document. Our relationship won’t change at all. What are you worried about? Or do you think our relationship isn’t ready for marriage yet?”
Xie Shiyu shook his head and denied, “I just don’t want you to regret acting impulsively at twenty.”
In that moment, Chu Feng chuckled with anger. The fire he had been suppressing for a long time suddenly burst out of his throat:
“Xie Shiyu, if you just want to date me and not marry me, just say it! Don’t use the excuse of being too young and impulsive to lecture me! I’ve heard this countless times from my mom.”
—He had persisted until now, enduring the pressure from his parents alone. In the end, it turned out that Xie Shiyu didn’t support their marriage.
Twenty-year-old Chu Feng was both angry and aggrieved. This was the first time he had argued with someone in public, and he felt so out of control that other same-sex couples who came to register were curious and looked at them.
“Chu Feng!”
The palms of the twenty-year-old Xie Shiyu were slightly sweaty, and his tone carried an unconscious urgency:
“I don’t not want to marry you…! For so many years, haven’t you felt anything? I…”
Under the bright and warm sunlight shining overhead, Xie Shiyu was like a trapped beast in distress, not knowing how to articulate his feelings:
“Chu Feng, can we talk somewhere else?”
—If they went somewhere else, the marriage might not happen today. Chu Feng said:
“Say whatever you need to say here.”
Xie Shiyu: “I… I’ve wanted to be with you since I was a child, desperately…”
He shouldn’t have said those words. If anything, Chu Feng became even angrier. After Xie Shiyu so clearly rejected his marriage proposal, now he added a few more words that were neither here nor there: I love you very much, I’ve wanted to marry you since I was a child, I couldn’t bear it…
Pale excuses, more laughable than no excuses at all.
“Xie Shiyu, are you treating me like a child to appease?”
“No, I…”
Xie Shiyu was speechless, feeling the contradiction in his words.
“Why are you hesitating so much today? Is marrying me so difficult?”
Xie Shiyu lowered his head, as if making a big decision:
“Chu Feng, listen to me! Can we talk somewhere else? You’re only twenty, there are many things you don’t understand…”
“Xie Shiyu, you’re only twenty too, stop acting like a forty-year-old. If you were really forty, I wouldn’t have dragged you here to the civil affairs bureau today!”
The couples around them who were witnessing their argument chuckled.
Chu Feng felt extremely embarrassed, being surrounded for the first time, feeling both ashamed and angry. He couldn’t understand why Xie Shiyu was behaving like this.
He had endured so much pressure from his parents, wanting to register with him first. While Xie Shiyu said he wanted to be with him desperately, he also said they couldn’t marry for at least five or six years.
“Xie Shiyu, let’s clear things up right here at the civil affairs bureau today. If you think our relationship isn’t at that level, if I’m being presumptuous, just say it. We can go back and talk later, don’t drag in unnecessary matters. If you don’t register with me today, don’t ever think about registering with me in your lifetime!”
***
In the end, two twenty-year-olds walked out under the youngest and brightest sunlight, holding their joyous marriage certificate. Both of their faces were embarrassed, devoid of joy.
At 29, Chu Feng looked at the password issue of 20-year-old Xie Shiyu, their past arguments recorded as reading materials. Chu Feng read through them one by one.
Now, he knew that his 20-year-old self had been overwhelmed by parental pressure, and at that time, he was too angry at the civil affairs bureau to calmly consider what was happening.
Deep down, he knew that he and Xie Shiyu could have gotten married. If he had even the slightest doubt about his feelings for Xie Shiyu, he wouldn’t have gone to register with him.
So, Xie Shiyu’s refusal to marry him at that time wasn’t because of emotional issues, but other reasons, some very serious reasons.
Today, Chu Feng had a bit of an idea about Xie Shiyu’s thoughts back then.
Chu Feng remembered the reasons his parents opposed their marriage, thinking that Xie Shiyu’s family background was not good enough.
It wasn’t the Ivy League or PricewaterhouseCoopers that his parents were most concerned about, but Xie Shiyu’s father’s drug addiction, his mother’s death, and being orphaned.
They believed that a child who grew up like this must have psychological problems. Plus, they thought Xie Shiyu’s original family without a car or house was not respectable enough.
Chu Feng, who was twenty years old, only thought that his parents looked down on Xie Shiyu, so they saw nothing good in him. He never really thought about what kind of person Xie Shiyu was.
Now Chu Feng knew the secrets of the 24-year-old Dr. Xie and had witnessed the prowess of 7-year-old Little Xie. He began to understand why his parents had said, “Little Xie must not be normal!”
He also understood why, back then at the civil affairs bureau, when he mentioned that his parents adamantly opposed their marriage and he felt pressured, Xie Shiyu didn’t come to comfort him but instead said, “You should think about why your parents don’t agree.”
Indeed, Xie Shiyu was not a normal person. A normal person wouldn’t have killed four people like Dr. Xie did, and with such skill; it was likely not his first time doing so.
But Chu Feng didn’t actually mind whether Xie Shiyu was normal or not.
He didn’t mind what kind of person Xie Shiyu was, whether he was a poor student, a top student who had risen from the bottom and got into a prestigious university, a poor Little Xie without a car or a house, or later on, an elite entrepreneur Mr. Xie, or even a devil walking in the dark. Chu Feng didn’t mind.
Or rather, he liked them all.
However, Chu Feng never said such things to Xie Shiyu face to face because… it was a bit too cheesy.
When Little Xie, who was twenty years old at the time, wanted to confess everything to him before marriage, he wanted to confess everything to him, to make a pre-marital confession, and to make him reconsider his decision carefully.
But when they were arguing at the civil affairs bureau, under the public gaze, Xie Shiyu couldn’t say it.
At the age of twenty…
The list of suspects provided by the system was interrupted at the age of twenty. Those aged 7 to 20 were on the list, while those aged 21 to 23 were not, and then there was the 24-year-old Dr. Xie, ranked second in combat effectiveness.
Chu Feng speculated that the first in combat effectiveness should be Little Xie, who had done something before the age of twenty. So when they were getting married, Xie Shiyu hesitated and evaded, wanting to tell him that he had done something terrible in the past.
—-What kind of thing?
In that instant, Chu Feng’s mind suddenly brought up the image of that bloodstained blue ribbon.
This ribbon was evidence of the convenience store owner strangling the cat abuser. Seven-year-old Little Xie took a big risk to steal it, but Chu Feng still didn’t understand why Little Xie did it.
When chatting with X, that guy pointed out that Little Xie collected this ribbon not to seek justice for the deceased cat abuser, but to target the perpetrator, the convenience store owner, who deserved to die.
In other words, the important thing about the ribbon was not the blood of the deceased cat abuser, but the fingerprints left by the perpetrator, the convenience store owner.
—It doesn’t matter whose blood it is.
Chu Feng speculated further, wondering if this meant that when Little Xie hid this ribbon at the age of seven, it wasn’t to prove:
“The convenience store owner is the murderer of the cat abuser”
But to prove:
“The convenience store owner is the perpetrator of a murder case.”
On the bloodstained blue ribbon, there are already fingerprints of the convenience store owner. If the blood turns out to be from someone other than the cat abuser, it is entirely possible to shift the blame to the convenience store owner by connecting it to another murder case.
And indeed, the convenience store owner has used a blue ribbon to commit murder. When the police mention the blue ribbon, he will definitely have an unusual reaction.
Once the police solve the case and catch the culprit, it will be a closed case. From then on, this matter will be concluded in the minds of the police, the court, and the public.
As for the “murder case,” who actually did it will no longer be important.
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