“In this life, he was bound by family, by duty, and by me. In death, don’t bury him in the imperial mausoleum. Find a place with good feng shui near it instead. May he carry fewer burdens in the next life and live freely.”
After returning to the palace, Feng Lezhen fell ill. For three to five days straight, she neither left her chambers nor saw anyone. The only order she issued was an edict declaring Fu Zhixian would be buried with the title of Imperial Husband.
The emperor losing her husband before even marrying caused an uproar in court. Even Yu Shou thought Feng Lezhen had gone too far and immediately submitted a memorial requesting an audience. But she ignored everything—refusing to read, to listen, or to care. Her days passed in a daze of medication and sleep, lost to time.
“Still won’t eat?” Qin Wan furrowed her brow as another untouched meal was carried out.
Ah Ye shook her head. “Said she had no appetite. Took two bites and wouldn’t eat more.”
Qin Wan hesitated. “It’s been days. If this keeps up—”
Before she could finish, Chen Jinan appeared. She let out a breath of relief. “General Yang.”
“General Yang,” Ah Ye greeted as well.
Because of his special status, few knew his real identity. Outside the palace, they addressed him as General Yang.
“How is Her Majesty?” he asked.
“She won’t eat. No energy either,” Ah Ye said quickly, then couldn’t help adding with a bit of reproach, “Her Majesty really needed someone with her these past few days. Why are you only here now?”
“The funeral arrangements took time. I only just got free today,” Chen Jinan replied.
Ah Ye paused and then noticed the red veins in his eyes. She felt awkward. “Sorry…”
“No need,” Chen Jinan said, entering the room.
Ah Ye watched the doors close behind him, her chest tightening. Qin Wan gently patted her hand and said, “General Yang’s position is different now. You should be more respectful when speaking to him.”
Ah Ye nodded obediently.
Qin Wan sighed. “Come. You haven’t rested properly for days either. Go sleep for a while.”
“But Her Majesty—”
“She’ll be fine with General Yang.” Qin Wan tugged her away.
Inside the chamber, Feng Lezhen was still asleep, her brows tightly furrowed. No one knew what she was dreaming.
Chen Jinan slowly walked to her side and sat down, gently taking her hand. Feng Lezhen seemed to sense something, and slowly opened her eyes.
“You came…” Her voice was hoarse.
When she tried to sit up, Chen Jinan helped her immediately, placing a pillow behind her back.
“Everything done?” she asked.
Chen Jinan nodded. “All taken care of.”
Feng Lezhen smiled faintly but said nothing more.
“Your Majesty,” Chen Jinan spoke up.
She hesitated, then looked at him slowly.
“Tonight is Little New Year’s Eve.” He knelt beside her bed, still holding her hand.
“Is it?” Feng Lezhen murmured. Her eyes became a little clearer. “That means the New Year’s in seven days.”
“Which means it’s almost time to collect red envelopes.” Chen Jinan smiled.
Feng Lezhen let out a soft laugh. “If you want one, I can give you one now.”
Chen Jinan laughed as well. “I don’t want a red envelope. I want Your Majesty to come take a walk with me.”
“Now?” Feng Lezhen looked surprised.
He nodded. “There’s a temple fair tonight.”
Feng Lezhen looked at him in silence for a long moment but finally agreed.
Since they were going out for leisure, they couldn’t make too grand a display. They both changed into simple clothes and left the palace hand in hand.
It had been a long time since she’d gone out. Feng Lezhen was still weak from illness, but the cold night air cleared her mind and made her feel more refreshed.
“Didn’t think you’d break protocol,” she said, letting him hold her hand. She glanced around and found they were completely alone. “Not even bringing a single guard?”
“No guards. That way, Your Majesty can enjoy herself more freely,” Chen Jinan replied seriously.
Feng Lezhen chuckled, taking that as assent.
He helped her into the carriage and took the driver’s seat himself. As they set off, he casually glanced to the side and confirmed the hidden guards were in place before proceeding.
Though he wanted Her Majesty to relax, he hadn’t taken safety lightly—shadow guards were the most appropriate choice.
The capital was already densely populated, and with winter being mild, holidays like this without a curfew packed the streets. Groups of children ran around with newly bought lanterns, vendors lined both sides selling rare goods, and the acrobatics area was packed with onlookers, who cheered as sparks shot into the sky.
Amid such vibrant, bustling scenes, the gloom that had weighed on Feng Lezhen for days began to lift. She turned her head—only to find that Chen Jinan had vanished.
“Jinan? Jinan?” she called out directly, knowing that in such a noisy market, there was no need to worry about eavesdropping. But even after calling twice, she still didn’t see him.
She frowned and took a few steps forward—when suddenly, a steaming paper-wrapped bundle was thrust in front of her.
“Your Highness, try this.” Chen Jinan looked at her with bright anticipation.
Feng Lezhen couldn’t help laughing. She was about to say she wasn’t hungry but didn’t have the heart to refuse. In the end, she accepted the potato pancake.
Chen Jinan watched as she took a bite and immediately asked, “Your Highness, does it taste good?”
“It’s good,” Feng Lezhen nodded.
It truly was delicious—savory and fragrant, crispy on the outside and tender on the inside, not overly greasy. She had liked it before, and now… now was no different.
Feng Lezhen lowered her head, eating slowly and gracefully. Her striking beauty and noble bearing drew curious glances from passersby, yet none dared to stare for long.
She stood there, in a manner unbefitting her station, and finished the potato pancake on the street. Before she could even wipe the oil from her fingertips, Chen Jinan had already taken her hand again and plunged them both back into the bustling human world.
They played late into the night before returning to the palace. Feng Lezhen was so tired her eyes refused to stay open. She let him wash her up and comb her hair without protest.
As she lay in bed, she murmured, “Do you blame me?”
“What?” Chen Jinan leaned closer.
“For giving Fu Zhixian the title of Imperial Husband.” Her eyes remained shut.
Chen Jinan paused, then replied softly, “After doing it, did Your Majesty feel a little better?”
Feng Lezhen turned over. “He traded his life for it. If I didn’t agree, I wouldn’t have peace of mind.”
“Then that’s enough.” Chen Jinan wanted to touch her long hair, but halfway there, he restrained himself.
After a long silence, he let his hand fall gently onto her silky hair.
“All Jinan ever wished for was just this much.”
Feng Lezhen seemed to hear him… or perhaps not. By the time her consciousness returned, it was already the next morning.
The sunlight was warm and bright, making the room feel cozy. She looked down at Chen Jinan’s peaceful sleeping face and had a vague sense that winter was finally coming to an end.
The matter of the emperor posthumously naming a dead man her husband and then skipping court for days had thoroughly shaken the court. For a long time afterward, no one dared bring up the issue of marriage again. But people are forgetful creatures. Come the vibrant spring of April, when grass grew and orioles sang and all things revived, many began to stir once more—chief among them, Chen Jinan.
“I heard over ten families sent calling cards to General Yang yesterday. He was busy from morning to night and only managed to entertain half of them.” Last time it was Fan Gonggong gossiping; this time it was Ah Ye.
Feng Lezhen mused, “He’s not the type to cozy up to the powerful. Why force himself like this?”
“How would I know? You should summon him and ask. If this continues, I’m afraid the general’s estate will be livelier than the palace.” Ah Ye clicked her tongue and shook her head.
Feng Lezhen chuckled. “Then go yourself and invite our now red-hot General into the palace. I’d like to ask him properly what’s going on.”
“Yes, ma’am!”
Ah Ye immediately saddled a horse and departed. When she arrived at the general’s estate, Chen Jinan was entertaining the Minister of Rites and his eldest legitimate son. She decided not to have the servants announce her and waited in a side hall. Only after he was free did she slowly appear.
“General Yang sure is a busy man. Must be going through a mountain of tea leaves every day, huh?” she said sarcastically.
Chen Jinan remained calm. “The Emperor summoned me?”
“That’s right. Get yourself to court,” Ah Ye made a “please” gesture. “And don’t forget to explain why your estate is busier than the palace.”
Chen Jinan’s eyes flickered. He gave a short reply and turned to leave.
“Where are you going?” Ah Ye asked.
“To change into court robes.”
“You don’t really have to—” Ah Ye tried to stop him, but he was already gone. She had no choice but to wait.
She waited through his guest farewells, then again for him to change. Finally, they were ready to depart.
Glancing at the thick stack of documents in his hands, Ah Ye casually asked, “What’s that?”
“To be given to Her Majesty.” Chen Jinan offered no more explanation.
Ah Ye didn’t press him and accompanied him hastily back to the palace.
When they reached the doors of the imperial study, Ah Ye suddenly stopped and refused to go any further.
“You explain to the Emperor yourself why you’re so late. I’m not going in.” Despite having been scolded by Qin Wan several times, she still spoke to Chen Jinan somewhat informally.
Fortunately, he didn’t mind. He simply nodded and entered after knocking.
Feng Lezhen had been reading memorials. Upon hearing his footsteps, she set them aside and leaned back in her chair, looking at him.
“Greetings, Your Majesty,” Chen Jinan said, about to kneel.
“No need for formality. Rise,” Feng Lezhen instructed.
He paused, then straightened.
Once he entered, the others in the room tactfully withdrew. Feng Lezhen stretched and noticed the stack of papers in his hand.
“What are you holding?”
Without speaking, Chen Jinan offered it up with both hands.
Feng Lezhen took it curiously and flipped through a few pages, then looked at him in surprise.
“This is a list of all eligible bachelors among the capital’s noble families—their personalities, backgrounds, and scholarly merits, all documented. Two-thirds of it is based on my personal observations. Although I haven’t met them much, it’s enough to get a sense,” Chen Jinan finally said, even helpfully pointing to the annotations on the back of each profile. “I’ve circled three. The rest aren’t suitable. Of the three, one is Lord Yu’s protégé, one’s a collateral branch of the former Hua family. I don’t think they’re ideal either, but ultimately, it’s up to Your Majesty to decide.”
Feng Lezhen was silent for a while before asking, “Why did you compile this?”
Chen Jinan paused before replying, “The court is pressuring you to marry again. You must be troubled. Only by establishing a consort and bringing order to the harem can Your Majesty have peace.”
“So, the ones you circled… are the ones you think suit me?” Feng Lezhen raised an eyebrow, shaking the hefty stack of papers in her hand.
Chen Jinan lowered his eyes and, after a long pause, nodded silently.
Feng Lezhen laughed—though even she didn’t know what she was feeling.
“I don’t know whether I should be angry or pleased. Angry—because you’re so ‘loyal and selfless’ that you’ve spent all these days trying to ease my burdens. But pleased? If I’m pleased, that means… you don’t seem to care about me at all—so much so that you can just hand me off to someone else…”
“Your Majesty, please keep reading,” Chen Jinan hurried to explain, inadvertently interrupting her, then quickly lowered his head in apology.
Feng Lezhen paused but did as he said and continued reading.
It was still more profiles—this Zhang San, that Wang Er—they all looked alike and were painfully dull. She was losing patience and was just about to put them down when suddenly, she flipped to a profile titled with three characters: Chen Jinan.
Chen Jinan, birth name Chen Quan, currently posing as Yang Yue, son of Yang Cheng, serving as commander of Lingnan…
Compared to the others, his entry was absurdly brief, only a few lines outlining the basics of his life. At the bottom, he had signed and affixed his thumbprint. It didn’t look like a matchmaking profile—it looked more like a confession presented in court.
Feng Lezhen read it carefully. Remembering how he had just solemnly said there were three suitable candidates, but then dismissed the other two as not quite right, she couldn’t help but feel amused.
Chen Jinan looked into her eyes, uncertain of her reaction. After a moment’s silence, he decided to go all in—he knelt on one knee and solemnly said:
“The third candidate… is the current Chen Jinan. He has no verified background, no connections, and he’s dull and unromantic. When those suitors came to me asking how to win Your Majesty’s favor, I, who have been by Your side for so long, couldn’t even give them a basic answer. That shows how inattentive I’ve been. But… but if Your Majesty is willing, I’ll learn, and I’ll pay more attention to You from now on.”
Feng Lezhen looked down at the clean and steadfast features of the young man and sighed softly: “If you’re not considered attentive, then no one in this world is.”
Chen Jinan pressed his lips together and went on: “At first, when I entertained those suitors, I truly intended to find someone suitable for Your Majesty. But the more I looked, the harder it got—none were good in all aspects of talent, looks, and background. The few decent ones were overly ambitious. They didn’t want to be Your husband; they wanted to be the father of the future heir. So… I thought, even though I have many flaws, at least I’m loyal enough to You. I wouldn’t make You guard against the person beside Your pillow while managing the affairs of the state.”
He looked up at her, as if pouring all his life’s courage into this moment:
“Lately there’ve been rumors of me forming factions—I’ve heard some, and I’m sure Your Majesty has heard more. I know you don’t believe them, but gossip repeated becomes truth, and the human heart is unpredictable. No one can say what the future holds, so…”
“So the profile I presented to Your Majesty is essentially a signed confession. My name and seal are there—take it to any court and it becomes valid evidence. If someday I let you down or fail in any way, you can publicize it. I’ve impersonated the son of an imperial official and deceived the monarch. This document alone is enough for me to die ten thousand times.” His voice trembled slightly. “I only ask… that Your Majesty give me a chance.”
After he finished speaking, the room fell into complete silence. Feng Lezhen studied his face closely and realized—he hadn’t changed much from sixteen to now. The way he looked at her, even after all this time, was still pure, passionate, and unwavering, as if he could keep looking at her forever, and it would never be too much.
Time changes. The world changes. People’s hearts change. But he—ever since she had pulled him out of that h*llish mine—had remained frozen at sixteen in some ways.
The silence stretched on. The red rims of Chen Jinan’s eyes only grew redder. Bit by bit, his courage began to slip away.
Just as he was about to break, Feng Lezhen finally spoke: “According to Great Qian law, the Imperial Husband must not interfere in state affairs. If you marry me, you’ll have to give up everything you currently have, including your military power.”
Chen Jinan hadn’t expected that. He pressed his lips together and said quietly: “I never really cared about military power to begin with. Back then, I only risked everything to help Your Majesty. Now that your great cause is complete, I couldn’t be happier to return to being your guard. At least then I could see you more often, instead of being so close yet so far.”
Feng Lezhen rarely saw him show emotion like this and found it a little funny: “Who told you it was hard to see me? How many times have I said you can come and go freely in the palace? You’re the one who insists on waiting for a summons—and always wearing that uniform. Just seeing it gives me a headache.”
“When Your Majesty ascended the throne as a woman, the rumors were already endless. How could I cause even more trouble?” Chen Jinan didn’t think he was wrong.
“Oh, so now you’re in the right?” she raised an eyebrow.
“…Your servant dares not,” Chen Jinan immediately bowed his head.
Feng Lezhen had intended to scold him a bit more, but seeing him admit fault so quickly, she didn’t know whether to be angry or amused.
“Your Majesty… do You accept me?” he asked softly in the silence.
Feng Lezhen stared at him for a long while, then smiled: “What if I told you I’ve had the perfect candidate in mind ever since the talk of marriage began?”
“Who?” Chen Jinan asked reflexively.
“The one I like most right now,” she said.
Chen Jinan froze. His first instinct was that it wasn’t him—but his ears still flushed red.
“Get up already. Kneeling like that looks ridiculous.” Feng Lezhen raised her hand and gave his head a light knock.
Chen Jinan’s eyes lit up with a smile as he stood and hugged her tightly: “Thank You, Your Majesty.” His voice caught slightly.
Feng Lezhen curved her lips, about to speak, when her fingers suddenly felt something cool.
She paused and raised her hand—there, on her right hand, was a beautiful jade ring.
The jade cabochon was exceptionally pure and clearly valuable. Feng Lezhen’s heart stirred. She recalled how, back when they were fleeing for their lives, he had mentioned wanting to save up his monthly pay to buy jade. So she asked, “Did you save enough?”
“I did. The rest of the jade is still being carved. The full set of ornaments will be ready in a few months.” Chen Jinan replied softly.
Feng Lezhen lifted her hand to admire it and asked: “Didn’t you say it’d take six years to save enough? It’s only been a few months. How is it already enough?”
“Well, the general’s estate received a lot of gifts lately. I sold them all and made a decent amount.” Chen Jinan answered honestly, without holding anything back.
Feng Lezhen froze for a moment, then was suddenly amused by him.
Feeling her trembling with laughter in his arms, Chen Jinan, rarely flustered, showed a trace of embarrassment. He only loosened his hold on her after she’d laughed enough, then looked into her eyes and asked earnestly, “Your Majesty, things will be good from now on… right?”
“Of course.” Feng Lezhen reached out her hand to him.
Chen Jinan took it seriously in his own, letting out a smile of relief.
