Ink splattered onto the hem of the dragon robe.
The emperor’s face was darker than the ink in the inkstone. A faint vein bulged at his temple, his gaze icy and sharp, colder than the harshest winter wind.
Having sat in supreme power for years, that chill carried its own oppressive weight. Su Yan’s face stung, his heart trembled, yet at the same time he felt that being able to anger the emperor this much meant he truly had iron bones and steel teeth.
Hold on! If he didn’t give this old man a taste of color today, the emperor would really think that sleeping with him once meant he could control him, that Su Qinghe was like other ministers, summoned at will and dismissed at will! After giving himself a mental pep talk, Su Yan lifted his chin stubbornly, meeting the emperor’s gaze without flinching.
The emperor’s hand that had been gripping his wrist shifted to pinch his jaw, while his other hand seized the back of Su Yan’s neck, forcing him backward onto the dragon chair.
Su Yan struggled with all his strength, kicking and twisting, sliding off the chair, and even yanking the emperor’s robe so hard that he dragged the emperor down to the floor with him.
In the flickering candlelight of the imperial study, the ruler abandoned all kingly dignity, and the minister discarded all proper decorum. The two rolled on the floor, grappling and restraining each other.
The deep blue-gold brick floor was polished like a mirror, faintly reflecting the flurry of limbs. In the quiet room, only their increasingly rapid breaths could be heard.
The emperor pinned Su Yan beneath him, using the torn table drape to bind his arms, tearing at the jade-belted sash around his waist.
Su Yan twisted like a snake, kicking at the emperor so hard that one of his white deerskin boots flew off.
The emperor yanked off his belt and threw it aside. The jade inlaid on it cracked upon hitting the floor. The emperor’s usually unshakable face also cracked, revealing beneath it a surging tide that no sense of propriety or dignity could restrain.
“…Not necessarily mine? Ha. Then why don’t you tell me, whose is it?!”
“Anyone’s!”
The emperor held down Su Yan’s arms with one hand and continued tearing at the side ties of his blue under-robe with the other. “This is a dragon fetus!”
Su Yan managed to free one arm from the twisted table drape and fought against the emperor’s fingers. “It’s the crown prince’s! Didn’t Your Majesty already scold this servant, saying I corrupted the prince’s purity with obscene things, and even rewarded me with fifty court canings? Too bad I didn’t learn my lesson and went to seduce the crown prince again, truly shameless!”
With a ripping sound, not only the ties but the entire under-robe tore open along the waist. The emperor peeled Su Yan out of it like peeling a chestnut, though not without pricking himself on the sharp edges…“Nonsense! When did I ever accuse you… of seducing the crown prince?”
With the red table drape and blue outer robe beneath him, the remaining plain white inner garment looked especially thin. Su Yan panted with exhaustion, yet still refused to give up resisting. “If I hadn’t shamelessly seduced the crown prince, where would the erotic painting have come from? Wasn’t it because of that that Your Majesty distanced yourself from me, saying ‘do not see him’? Now I confess to everything. Kill me or slice me as you wish, does that satisfy Your Majesty?”
The emperor’s chest ached so sharply it trembled, and the arm he was using to press down on Su Yan’s shoulder trembled with it. In a low, hoarse voice he barked, “Shut up! Don’t say another word…”
Su Yan lifted his long, jade‑white neck, his eyes slanting toward the emperor. His damp lashes cast a shadow at the reddened corners of his eyes, as if he were about to cry, yet the curl of his lips looked almost like a smile. “The Crown Prince is a little cabbage that hasn’t grown up in the field yet, very green. But I, foolish as I am, ignored the cooked meat and insisted on plucking raw leaves to chew.”
The emperor suddenly lowered his head and sealed his mouth.
No one knew who bit whose tongue; the sweet, metallic taste churned between their mouths, giving that deep kiss, beyond its fierce entanglement, a trace of sorrow.
After a long moment, the emperor braced himself up on his arm and looked down at the disheveled minister beneath him, saying hoarsely, “Look at you, what you’ve driven me to…”
Su Yan’s face was flushed, fine beads of sweat gathering at the tip of his nose. His fingers weakly clutched at the robe scattered on the floor. “It was Your Majesty who forced this minister.” He let out a breath as if exhausted. “As for the spring‑palace painting, has Your Majesty decided how to deal with me?”
The emperor said, “It has nothing to do with you. I know it was the Crown Prince’s mischief.”
Su Yan pressed, “Since you know it has nothing to do with me, why refuse to see me?”
The emperor could not answer. He only bent down and held him tightly, breathing heavily into the hollow of his shoulder.
“In the half‑year I was gone, how has Your Majesty’s head ailment been?” Su Yan asked softly.
The emperor was silent for a moment, then answered vaguely, “Same as before. Still manageable.”
“—Your Majesty is lying to me.” Su Yan said coldly, pushing at him, trying to rise.
“…It has been acting up more frequently than before, and the pain has worsened somewhat. That is why I summoned Chen Shiyu into the palace and had him stay in the front court for easy summons.” The emperor corrected himself.
Only then did Su Yan’s expression soften a little. “Your Majesty’s head ailment worsens, yet you do not shun treatment. But you insist on hiding it from me, even distancing yourself from me, what is the meaning of that? Do you think I, Su Qinghe, am weak of temperament, unfit to shoulder hardship with you, so you must bear all storms alone? Or do you think the promise I once made ‘no matter how rough the road ahead, I will walk it with you’ was nothing but empty words?”
The emperor fell silent again. After a long time, he lifted himself and sighed. “I thought… if you had not fallen too deep yet, it might still be possible for you to pull away in time.”
Su Yan let out a cold laugh. “Does Your Majesty not find that hypocritical? Who was it who laid trap after trap to ensnare me like a moth? Now that I no longer wish to flee, you suddenly grow soft‑hearted and want to let me go? Have you ever asked me whether I want to be let go?”
The emperor winced in pain, gripping his shoulder, his face pale, though his expression regained its calm. “That was then. This is now. For you to remain in the capital, remain by my side, is no good thing. I have thought it through, I want you to go to the auxiliary capital.”
“Nanjing?” Su Yan frowned as well, but out of confusion and a faint dissatisfaction. “The Crown Prince is going to Nanjing to offer sacrifices at the mausoleum, what am I going for? What, does Your Majesty think the Crown Prince and I are still not far enough apart, and wants to toss us together in a melon field and under a plum tree?”
The emperor once again blocked that mouth which was usually sweet but tonight unbearably unpleasant to hear.
Su Yan was not only kissed until breathless and weak; in his daze he felt half his life slipping away. His arms rose instinctively to cling to the emperor’s back, his body melting into a pool of spring water.
In a brief moment to breathe, the emperor gently commanded, “I tell you to go, so you go. Be good. As for the Crown Prince’s little thoughts, I know them. But I also know you have no romantic feelings for him. I trust you.”
Su Yan finally felt somewhat appeased, muttering softly, “Of course not. I look at that brat Zhu Helin like a younger brother, mm—” Feeling the emperor’s hand kneading his waist and hips, Su Yan’s breath hitched, and he instantly choked on his words.
The emperor deliberately kept a stern face. “You’re mixing up generations. You want to be his elder brother? I certainly don’t take you for a son.”
Su Yan wrapped his arms around the emperor’s neck and whispered by his ear, “I can’t very well take him as a son either… that would be treasonous.”
The emperor whispered back, “You don’t have to take him as a son. But he must take you as his little mother. If he can’t manage that, he needn’t come back for the rest of his life.”
Su Yan thumped the emperor’s back. “Little what… nonsense! A dignified Son of Heaven, what kind of rubbish are you saying.”
But the emperor said, “‘Within these four walls, we share the affection of a pair of mandarin ducks’, those were your own words. So here, there is no ruler and minister, only husband and spouse. Since that is so, a few crude words do no harm.”
Su Yan, hazy and near‑drunk with heat, had all his sharp teeth and simmering anger smoothed away. He even forgot to keep asking: why must it be Nanjing? What exactly am I being sent to do?
The emperor, too, had no wish to speak of state affairs anymore, he only wanted to speak of private affection, at least for this moment, to savor their reunion after half a year apart.
They could not even wait to move to the bed. Still in that position, they began undoing each other’s garments, when suddenly a eunuch’s voice sounded outside the hall: “Reporting to Your Majesty, Attendant‑Recorder Lord Linghu has arrived by summons. Shall he be admitted?”
The diligent emperor lifted his head from the floor, his face dark as jade, while the loyal and upright Minister Su still had one leg hooked around the Son of Heaven’s waist.
The emperor held himself back and shouted, “—Do not admit him! I did not summon him. Send him away!”
Outside, there was a brief silence. Then Lord Linghu’s voice drifted in faintly: “Your Majesty clearly sent a young eunuch a quarter‑hour ago with an oral decree, commanding this minister to come at once to the imperial study to record the matters discussed with the Grand Secretaries. This minister rushed here from the duty quarters, why now say there was no summons? Did the eunuch relay the decree incorrectly, or has Your Majesty changed your mind?”
Had it been any other minister, if the emperor said there was no summons, then there was no summons; being dismissed, he would slink away.
But Lord Linghu, being a historian, possessed an extraordinary spirit of seeking truth and digging to the root. He had to find out whether someone had falsely conveyed an imperial order.
The eunuch serving in the imperial study had quietly become Su Yan, and the historian Linghu, who should not have appeared here, had shown up at the worst possible moment. The emperor could more or less guess who was behind this mischief, regretting only that he had not earlier steeled himself to lock that scoundrel of a younger brother behind high walls.
He took a deep breath, steadied himself a little, and called out, “The discussion is canceled. Return. I am going to rest.”
Outside the hall, Linghu blinked in confusion, then bowed deeply. “Then this minister takes his leave. Should Your Majesty summon again, this minister awaits at all times.”
Inside the hall, Su Yan suddenly sobered, a fragment of conversation with Linghu flashing through his mind:
“…Lord Su is a leading figure among the younger generation, with boundless prospects but also a rugged road ahead!”
“Many thanks, Lord Ling. This official will certainly not forget his original intention, and will press forward with resolve.”
“…Then allow this humble official to first wish Lord Su a life as gentle as spring breeze and autumn waters.”
“Spring breeze, magnanimous enough to embrace all things; autumn waters, writings unstained by dust. I thank you for your sincerity. I, your junior, have learned from it, and will not fail your expectations.”
Indulging in private affection, was this what he called “not forgetting his original intention”? Su Yan felt a pang of shame. Then he recalled that it was Yu Wang who had detained Duo Gui’er tonight and made him change into an eunuch’s uniform to sneak in. If Yu Wang was still somewhere in the palace, how long had he and the emperor been in the imperial study, could Yu Wang not know?
This Linghu was eight or nine parts likely tricked into coming by Yu Wang, all just to remind him—“figuring things out” was fine, but “stealing jade and fragrance” was not.
A bucket of cold water dumped over his head, Su Yan lost all mood. He hurriedly jumped up to put on his clothes and boots.
Seeing this, the emperor also knew nothing more could happen tonight. As he dressed, he was already calculating how to make his increasingly unruly younger brother suffer a proper lesson.
Su Yan forced himself into order, then obediently walked over to fasten the emperor’s belt and place the crown upon him.
The emperor stroked his cheek lightly and sighed, “…Very well.”
Very well, what? Slamming the brakes at the last moment is “very well”? Su Yan muttered inwardly but showed nothing on his face. He only asked, “What does Your Majesty intend for this minister to do in Nanjing? And for how long?”
The emperor did not answer directly. “When the edict is issued, you will know.”
Su Yan thought for a moment, then said, “I am still uneasy about Your Majesty’s head ailment. Should we not announce it to the realm and seek famed physicians skilled in difficult illnesses? If that fails, Western medicine… the physicians of the Western barbarians might also be worth a try…”
But then he remembered that at this time, Western medicine had only just begun shifting from empirical to experimental practice; even human anatomy had yet to be established. Faced with such a complex intracranial condition, they would likely be helpless as well. Su Yan grew discouraged, his voice shrinking as he spoke.
The emperor smiled, pulled him into his arms, and kissed the center of his brow. “I know my own body. You need not worry.”
Su Yan thought it over. Even if he stayed in the capital, he could not help. Better to follow the emperor’s arrangement and go to Nanjing.
First, the emperor never acted without purpose, this trip must carry a mission.
Second, after the spring‑palace painting incident, the Empress Dowager likely hated him to the bone. She might well arrange some underhanded method to kill him in secret, impossible to guard against. Better to avoid disaster and preserve his life.
And one more reason—
He cared deeply about the remnants of past‑life historical memory in his mind, especially the part concerning Zhu Helin. Though fragmented and blurry, it felt crucial. Perhaps after going to Nanjing and meeting the Crown Prince, he might remember.
Having made up his mind, Su Yan returned a kiss to the emperor, stepped back two paces, and performed the minister’s salute of departure.
When he reached the hall doors, he suddenly heard the emperor call behind him: “Qinghe—”
Su Yan turned back and gave him a faint smile.
The emperor did not speak, nor did he smile. He simply gazed at him, deeply, unblinking, as though carving every stroke of him into his heart with his eyes.
The two looked at each other in quiet affection, as if a thousand unspoken words were contained in that mingled gaze.
Su Yan could not even remember how he left the imperial study, such a soul‑stealing gaze, who would willingly be the first to break it? He could not bear to; the emperor could not bear to.
But in the end, he still walked toward the hall doors, then the palace gates.
“Tch.”
A breathy sound came from above and to the side, like a casual, impolite greeting, clear in the cold night of the forbidden palace.
Su Yan turned, and looked up. Yu Wang, dressed in dark robes, legs stretched out as he lounged along the roof ridge, an empty wine jar pillowed in his arm, puckered his lips at him teasingly. “Got it all figured out?”
Su Yan rolled his eyes and ignored him, continuing forward.
Yu Wang tossed the empty jar aside on the roof, then leapt down with agile ease, walking alongside Su Yan. “I thought you were planning to spend the night in the imperial study and not come out.”
Su Yan mocked, “This official wouldn’t dare stay even a moment longer. Otherwise the outside of the hall would turn into a lantern carousel, Lord Linghu leaves, and who knows which lord will next arrive to ‘answer the imperial summons’. Your Highness, are you not afraid His Majesty will charge you with falsely conveying an imperial decree? That’s a capital crime!”
Yu Wang laughed loudly. “I already expected it. For tonight’s matter, imperial brother will certainly punish me heavily, so what? Unless he truly locks me behind the high walls of Fengyang, I’ll keep stirring the waters from time to time. Let’s see whether he loses patience first, or I bow my head first.”
“What need is there for Your Highness to suffer so?” Su Yan sighed. “Keeping you confined in the capital was not His Majesty—”
He abruptly fell silent.
Yu Wang raised a suspicious brow. “Not my imperial brother what? Go on.”
Su Yan knew he had slipped from softness of heart, so he pressed his lips together and quickened his pace.
Yu Wang grabbed his wrist and pinned him against the vermilion palace wall.
Su Yan struggled, whispering, “Let go! Show some respect. If palace servants or guards see, just because you don’t care about your face doesn’t mean I don’t!”
“What if they see?” Yu Wang leaned in without a care, his tall frame nearly pressing him into the wall. “At worst, it’s just this debauched prince reverting to old habits, making a move on a little eunuch. Who dares interfere?”
It had been Yu Wang’s idea for him to dress as an eunuch, and now it had become a disadvantage, like stepping right into the man’s trap. Su Yan flushed with anger. “You, are you so determined to make yourself miserable that you won’t let others live comfortably either? Teasing me again and again, does that amuse you?”
Yu Wang said, “Oh? You’re really not afraid I’ll r*pe you again?”
Su Yan’s eyes nearly rolled into the heavens. “We’re both men, do you think I can’t tell whether you’re aroused?”
Yu Wang glanced down at himself below the belt. “If you’re willing, I’ll be aroused immediately.”
Su Yan drove his knee upward, but Yu Wang caught it in his palm. Yu Wang laughed, “Move your hands and feet again, and I really will get aroused.”
Su Yan could do nothing with this troublemaking demon prince and said helplessly, “Let go first, I’ll tell you.”
Yu Wang’s sense of decorum arrived belatedly, he not only released him but even helped smooth out the wrinkles on Su Yan’s robe.
Su Yan chose his words carefully: “Keeping you confined in the capital wasn’t something His Majesty wished for. He had no other choice.”
Yu Wang had the sharp intuition that this was not what Su Yan had originally meant to say. But hearing this evasive response made it clear Su Yan did not intend to open his heart to him, and his expression darkened at once.
For some reason, Su Yan saw, in the eyes of this former war god of a general, now reduced to a dissipated nobleman, a flicker of grievance and hurt. Feeling an unexpected pang of sympathy, he changed the subject: “How about this? Let me give you some advice, if Your Highness were to voluntarily declare that you’ve abandoned your military ambitions and will no longer command troops, choosing instead to live quietly in your fief like the other princes, perhaps His Majesty would consider lifting the ban on your movements.”
Yu Wang gave a cold laugh. “Being penned up like a pig in my fief or being penned up like a pig in the capital, what difference is there? If I’m not allowed to command troops, wherever I go is a cage.”
Su Yan replied, “You must take things one step at a time. You’re a grown man, how can you be so inflexible?”
Yu Wang said, “I understand the logic of advancing by measured steps. But the army isn’t like the court. If I spread word that I’m disheartened and will never take up arms again, I’ll chill the hearts of my soldiers. Even if I were to command them again in the future, how would I win their loyalty? I’m not like those politicians at court who turn their words inside out, speak nonsense one moment, then swallow it back the next.”
Su Yan could only sigh inwardly. The secret he’d once overheard, hiding beneath the imperial study’s desk, the secret between the Empress Dowager and the Emperor, was the one thing he could never reveal to Yu Wang.
The Empress Dowager did not know he had overheard, but the Emperor did, and yet he had given no warning or reminder to stay silent. That silence was the Emperor’s trust, and Su Yan could not betray it.
…But Yu Wang was indeed aggrieved, a fallen hero trapped in a gilded cage. And the Emperor, too, was aggrieved, shouldering most of the blame for the Empress Dowager’s actions for a full ten years.
This is too much, Su Yan thought with a heavy sigh.
Seeing his troubled expression, Yu Wang couldn’t bring himself to press further. He laid a hand on Su Yan’s shoulder, slowed his pace, and walked beside him.
The palace path was dark and deserted; only the soft yellow glow of the lantern in Su Yan’s hand lit a narrow stretch of the darkness ahead. The sound of their synchronized footsteps echoed gently down the corridor.
A strange, impossible thought rose in Yu Wang’s mind, he wanted to keep walking like this beside Su Yan, silent and tender-hearted, two shadows moving together.
Even if he could never return to the battlefield.
Even if he could never cross beyond the capital’s boundary stones.
That thought circled his mind like a hawk wheeling through the sky, strong and insistent, before finally soaring away, leaving him.
If I cannot ride to war again, he thought, then what meaning does my life have? What right have I to the admiration or love of the one I care for?
Yu Wang stopped suddenly. Su Yan, who had walked a few paces ahead, turned back in confusion.
Yu Wang looked straight at him and said firmly, “One day, I will return to the world that belongs to me.”
Su Yan froze for a moment, then smiled. “Mm. I believe you.”
