After dinner, despite his resistance, Su Yan was forcibly dragged into the hot spring bath.
Naturally, he wasn’t about to become any “Crown Princess.” Even in the pool, when the Crown Prince tried to sit next to him, Su Yan launched into a campaign of nonviolent resistance: when the enemy advanced, he retreated; when the enemy advanced again, he retreated further. When there was nowhere left to retreat, he simply climbed out, dressed, and left.
Infuriated, Zhu Helin hurled a wet towel at his back. “Heaven’s high and the Emperor’s far away, what are you so scared of? Just because he said ‘avoid suspicion,’ you’re going to erect a chastity arch for yourself?”
Su Yan thought darkly: This is me building a shield for you! You’re young and impulsive, it’s easy for you to lose control, but this absolutely can’t happen. I’ve confessed mutual feelings with your father; that makes you my son now! If I go fooling around with the son too, what kind of person would that make me?
With the firm resolve of “I’d rather die than cross that line,” Su Yan turned and reasoned, “Young master, if you truly don’t wish to marry a Crown Princess, wait a few years. And if you really like men, there are plenty of handsome young ones waiting in line, you don’t need to set your sights on me.”
Zhu Helin’s eyes turned red instantly. He clenched his teeth. “Su Qinghe, say that again if you dare!”
Su Yan felt a pang of guilt, but he still held his ground. “There is affection between us, but it’s that of lord and retainer, friends, brothers. Back in the capital, when you talked nonsense or got handsy, I thought you were just a willful youth. Everyone has some confused feelings at fourteen or fifteen; I figured you’d grow out of it. I didn’t realize my habit of always leaving room and being conciliatory only ended up indulging you…”
Zhu Helin’s feelings poured out like wasted spring water; rage filled the void. Finding nothing to throw, he leapt naked from the bath, face twisted, and advanced toward Su Yan.
Su Yan had brawled with him before, he wasn’t afraid. Grabbing a robe from the rack, he tossed it over the crown prince.
“Cover the essentials, try being civilized, try being decent.”
Zhu Helin was livid enough to kill someone; forget decency. He grabbed the robe and threw it over Su Yan’s head like a sack.
Su Yan’s vision went dark. Instinctively he pulled at the fabric, and in the struggle Zhu Helin dragged both him and the robe back into the bath.
He swallowed a mouthful of water, coughed violently, and clung to the pool’s edge, face flushed. Zhu Helin tore the drenched robe off his head, still seething, and said with a street ruffian’s sneer, “What, you’ve climbed up in rank after sleeping with my royal father, so now you’re cutting ties with me?”
Still coughing, Su Yan rasped out, “Not… cutting ties. We’re still… grasshoppers on the same rope… in the same boat… weathering the storm together… Anything’s fine, just no sleeping with guys…”
“What the h*ll is that supposed to, never mind, I can guess.” Zhu Helin spat the words, mocking through gritted teeth. “Loyal, are you? Too bad my royal father doesn’t appreciate it. When the border was unstable, he demoted you to the Northwest; when you returned, he sent you straight off to Nanjing. And still you lick that old fossil’s boots so devotedly! A model of chastity and loyalty, shall I petition the court to give you a plaque reading ‘Threefold Chastity and Ninefold Virtue’?”
That did it, Su Yan snapped. Amid splashing water and flung cloth, he punched Zhu Helin square in the face.
Zhu Helin didn’t dodge. The blow landed on his cheekbone; then he countered, twisting Su Yan’s arms back and pinning his upper body to the cold stone at the pool’s edge.
His white underrobe clung to him, turning nearly translucent. Su Yan was still coughing, gasping out between breaths, “It’s not about loyalty or chastity. Between His Majesty and me, there’s both affection meant for life, and a shared purpose of mind and ideals.”
“Enough!” Zhu Helin ground out between clenched teeth.
“I was the one who knew you first…” His head bowed until his forehead pressed against Su Yan’s brow, his voice breaking into a hoarse near-sob. “Whatever feelings or ambitions my royal father gives you, I can give you too. More of it, and more real.”
Su Yan’s heart ached. He sighed softly. “Meeting came first or later, but love doesn’t care for order. I truly don’t have romantic feelings for you.”
“When I’m older…”
Su Yan cut him off. “It’s not about age… well, maybe a bit, but not that way. In short… I can risk my life for you, but I don’t want to sleep with you. Understand?”
Zhu Helin fell silent, breathing fast and heavy. His young, naked body bent over in the misty pool, like a pine bowing beneath storm and moon. At last, he released his grip and choked out a single word, “Get out!”
Soaked to the skin in his thin underclothes, Su Yan slunk out of Chunhe Palace.
As soon as he stepped under the corridor, the cold wind made him shiver uncontrollably. The drenched fabric pricked his skin like a thousand needles, the chill biting deep to the bone.
“Lord Su!” a voice called from behind.
Su Yan turned around, shivering, to see Fu Bao hurrying up with a thick bundle of clothes in her arms.
“Oh, Lord Su, your face is blue from the cold!”
Fu Bao quickly ushered him into a nearby side hall, handed him a cotton towel to dry off, helped him change into dry, warm robes, and finally draped a cloak over his shoulders.
“Did the young master send you?” Su Yan asked, holding his hands over the brazier for warmth and sniffing.
Fu Bao smiled. “The young master told me not to say he sent me. So, no, he didn’t.”
Su Yan stared blankly at the brazier.
“The young master…” Fu Bao hesitated, then only said softly, “His feelings for Lord Su are like fire refining true gold.”
Su Yan sighed in melancholy, shook his head, then sighed again with mixed emotions. “Even real gold can melt if the fire’s too hot. I’m afraid the furnace will burn him to nothing.”
He stood, straightened his cloak, fastened the buttons at his chest, put on his cap, and said, “Take good care of the young master. Try to comfort him if you can. I’ll come again tomorrow. Even if he gets angry and tries to drive me away, I won’t leave. Public and private matters are separate. The White Deer case is urgent, we don’t have time for quarreling or sulking.”
After returning to his lodgings, Su Yan ordered Xiao Bei to light two more oil lamps. He needed to write letters.
The first letter was for the Emperor. He detailed everything that had happened since his arrival in Nanjing, the circumstances of the White Deer case, its follow-up developments, and the speculations and investigations he and the Crown Prince had conducted.
As the ink dried, Su Yan pondered how uncertain things were now, Nanjing shrouded in murk, the capital tangled in politics. How could he ensure the letter reached His Majesty safely? He then picked up his brush again and began a second letter, this one addressed to Yu Wang.
In his letter to Yu Wang, he wasted no ink on formalities and greetings, writing directly and plainly:
In the capital, I have many friends and colleagues of the same year. Whenever we drink and exchange pleasantries, each pats his chest and promises, ‘Your affairs are my affairs; your worries, I will resolve.’ I always smile and reply, ‘The same, the same, brothers in arms,’ yet I know full well it’s not so.
Scheming and striving, chasing fame and profit, the web of worldly interests binds all, whether court or commoner. No one escapes it.
Among the imperial clan and the court, only Your Highness stands apart, caged in form, yet your heart rides beyond the frontier. You never covet power, but watch the scramble of factions with a cool eye; amidst the revelry of wine and wealth, you still carry the unrestrained air of a hero and the straightforward vigor of a soldier.
The unpleasant things between us in the past are all bygones.
Now, what I do and what I must say are hindered by distance and the obstructions in the capital. Fearing interference along the way, I beseech Your Highness to convey this to His Majesty.
Should you choose to aid me, I will be deeply grateful and repay the favor when the time comes. Should you choose not to, I will bear no resentment, only ask that you burn this letter, lest it fall into the hands of ill-intentioned men.
— Respectfully, Qinghe.
When he finished, he blew the ink dry, sealed the large envelope, and placed the Emperor’s letter inside as well. He planned to select two loyal palace guards from the Eastern Palace, disguise them, and send them urgently to the capital.
As for requests like “Do not open my private letter to His Majesty” or “Do not pry into what I’ve written or done,”, he didn’t write a single word of that.
Though he had cursed Yu Wang countless times in private and complained that the man was unreliable, when he sealed the letter with wax, a sense of inexplicable calm came over him. He believed that as long as the letter reached Yu Wang’s hands, it would form a direct channel, from the small courtyard he rented in Nanjing straight to the Imperial Study within the Forbidden City.
Even in the worst case, if Yu Wang, for whatever reason, chose not to forward the letter to the Emperor, Su Yan trusted he would never leak or tamper with it.
Why? No reason but instinct.
A gut instinct about what kind of man Zhu Xu really was.
Setting the letter aside, Su Yan began a third one, this one a reply to a servant back home.
He’d been in Nanjing for over a month when he received a letter from Su Xiaojing, saying that, thanks to his master’s fortune, his malaria had recovered and he was managing the household well, asking the lord not to worry.
In his reply, Su Yan advised Su Xiaojing: stay out of trouble, keep a low profile, and look after Ruan Hongjiao when possible. If anyone comes to provoke or harass, go to the Northern Surveillance Bureau and ask Qianhu Wei Ying for help, Wei Qianhu had stayed in the capital and hadn’t gone to Henan with Shen Qi.
He emphasized one thing above all: if Shen Qi returned to the capital, Su Xiaojing must write to him immediately with details.
After thinking it over, Su Yan felt he had nothing more to add. He placed the two letters, one large, one small, into a waterproof bamboo tube and tucked it beneath his pillow, then blew out the lamps and lay down.
The bedding was soft, the quilt thick, and the charcoal brazier warm, but he couldn’t sleep. Turning restlessly, he finally got up, unlocked the bottom drawer of his wardrobe, and took out the silk pouch and private seal the Emperor had given him.
He examined the outside of the pouch, curiosity burning at what lay within, but quickly suppressed the impulse. He locked the pouch back in place and only hung the creamy jade seal around his neck.
Lying back in bed, he clasped the jade seal against his chest. His fingers traced over the carved characters, “Jintang”, again and again. Gradually, he drifted into sleep.
