Su Yan paused for a moment before recovering from the strange sense of unfamiliarity, an unfamiliarity as though separated by another lifetime, like a sapling you planted with your own hands that, after some time of neglect, you look at again only to find it completely changed, as if during those days of your busyness and inattention it had quietly absorbed the essence of sun and moon and grown into a flourishing tree.
“Helin…” The first time he said it felt somewhat awkward. Su Yan quickly adjusted his mindset, and when he spoke again, he was much more composed. “You asked me to come to Lotus After Rain Villa tonight, what is it you wish to say? Does it concern His Majesty?”
Zhu Helin also sat down on the edge of the bed, facing him: “It concerns Royal Father, and you and me as well.”
Su Yan nodded, his attentive expression illuminated by the candlelight.
The pent-up gloom and foul anger Zhu Helin had accumulated during the day could not be washed away even by the torrential rain, yet here it was soothed by Su Yan’s expression.
“After you left, I took that book of letters and went to the Eastern Garden to see the Grand Empress Dowager…” He slowly recounted the entire course of events, and finally added, “This is only her version of the story. As for whether it is true or false, I suppose only those who personally experienced the incident at Qin Wang’s residence thirty years ago would know.”
Su Yan fell into thought.
Zhu Helin turned his head slightly and said to the sleeping Zhu Jintang on the bed: “Royal Father, you can hear what I’m saying, you just can’t open your eyes or make a sound, isn’t that so?”
Zhu Jintang showed no response.
Zhu Helin gave a self-mocking smile: “Perhaps this is only my illusion. After all, everyone hopes their wishes will come true, no one is exempt… But I still believe that Royal Father has weathered so many storms, his will is so steadfast, he would not be stopped by something as trivial as a craniotomy.”
Su Yan sighed softly: “I have asked Mister Yingxu several times. He believes the procedure at the time was successful. His Majesty, after much difficulty, passed through the dangerous postoperative period. Now his vital signs are stable, yet he still has not awakened. Mister Yingxu has a hypothesis, he suspects that after the tumor was removed, the brain tissue that had previously been compressed suddenly had room to expand, causing a change in its structure, which in turn affected the central nervous system. This can also be considered a kind of acute postoperative injury, of course, those are not his exact words; this is my own interpretation. I don’t know if you can understand it?”
Zhu Helin listened very carefully, then said: “I understand perhaps forty to fifty percent. Some terms I don’t grasp, but for some reason, when they come from your mouth, it feels as though the things those terms represent truly exist, even if not in this world, then perhaps in another…”
He swallowed the last word back abruptly.
Another world? The other shore? Or perhaps one of the three thousand great worlds spoken of in Buddhist teachings? The records in the sutras were too mysterious and ethereal, Zhu Helin did not know whether to believe them.
However, sayings like “the secrets of heaven must not be revealed, or retribution will fall upon you,” which he often heard fortune-tellers mention in the marketplace and had once dismissed, now made him vaguely wary, even reverent, toward unseen forces. He worried that a careless remark from himself might bring misfortune upon Su Yan.
Su Yan sensed the confusion in Zhu Helin’s heart, but he knew that such confusion was limited by the current level of scientific understanding; it would be difficult to explain clearly with words alone. So he had no intention of revealing the truth of his own origins, lest it exceed the other’s capacity for comprehension and instead trigger unpredictable psychological reactions.
Better to leave things vague and ambiguous, each holding their own understanding, there was nothing wrong with that.
So he merely smiled faintly, neither confirming nor denying, and continued: “Therefore, Mister Yingxu suggests speaking to His Majesty more often, especially in familiar voices, talking about things that can provoke strong emotional fluctuations, whether joy, anger, or urgent distress. As long as it can stir his emotions, it may have an effect. More importantly, it requires persistence.”
This concept of postoperative awakening was quite close to the later medical view that “auditory stimulation can excite the patient’s central nervous system”… It seemed that Old Master Chen was indeed extraordinary. How many hidden talents had been swept along by the surging tides of history, Su Yan sighed inwardly.
“Physician Chen told me the same.” So Royal Father’s continued unconsciousness, was it because the verbal stimulation he had received was not yet strong enough? Zhu Helin had pondered this privately, and with today’s events, he now had a chance to try.
He reached out, clenched one of his Royal Father’s hands into a fist, then gripped it tightly, speaking each word clearly in a low voice: “Does Royal Father know that the old incident at Qin Wang’s residence thirty years ago has now been deliberately dug up by those with ulterior motives and used as a tool to build momentum?
“They say that Royal Father and Fourth Royal Uncle are not of Emperor Xianzhu’s bloodline, but were born of an illicit affair between Grandmother and a common man.”
“They have printed the so-called ‘evidence’ into many booklets and are secretly distributing them across the various prefectures, stirring panic among the people and letting rumors run rampant.”
“Does Royal Father want to hear the letters included in these booklets?”
Zhu Helin pulled out a blue-covered thread-bound booklet from his sleeve and flipped through it. Su Yan rose and took an oil lamp from the stand nearby to light it for him. Zhu Helin turned to one page, it was precisely the letter in which “Qin Wangfei informs her lover of her pregnancy”, and, suppressing his nausea, read it aloud.
Seeing that his negative emotional reaction was too intense, his throat strained from reading, his voice turning hoarse like sandpaper, even his shoulders trembling, Su Yan felt both pained and distressed. He reached out to press on Zhu Helin’s shoulder and gently patted his back.
Zhu Helin gradually calmed down, finished reading the letter smoothly, then threw the booklet onto the floor and said in a deep voice to Zhu Jintang on the bed: “When your son first heard of this matter, the shock and anger were beyond words. I also asked Royal Grandmother about the past, but her words are, after all, only one side of the story. What the truth was back then, only those who experienced it firsthand would know… How much does Royal Father actually know?”
“Back then, Xin Wang raised troops in rebellion. In the end, Royal Father forced him and his entire line of descendants to their deaths, was that also related to this matter?
“All these years, if Royal Father harbored doubts in his heart, why did you never question Royal Grandmother thoroughly?”
“And Fourth Royal Uncle… did Yu Wang also know of this matter?”
Zhu Helin threw out question after question in rapid succession, yet the only answer he received was an endless silence.
“Royal Father!” Unable to hold back, he lifted Zhu Jintang’s hand, pressed the clenched fist he held against his Royal Father’s chest, and called out again and again, “Royal Father, wake up! This matter is too great, too heavy, I cannot bear it alone. Just take it as doing it for me, your unworthy son, open your eyes and take a look!”
“If not for your son, then for the realm. What they are doing is to establish that Royal Father and I obtained the throne illegitimately, that we have occupied the magpie’s nest. Will Royal Father simply allow these villains to spread their deceptive words?”
“When the rumors spread across the land and the people’s hearts waver, their next step will be to raise the banner of ‘restoring the rightful order’ and launch a rebellion against the Jinglong and Qinghe reigns, Royal Father!”
Zhu Helin pressed his face against the clenched fist, together against his Royal Father’s chest, and heard a rapid, forceful heartbeat like a drum… Only after a moment did he realize that the heartbeat was his own.
His Royal Father’s pulse remained slow, just as steady and unmoving as when he once sat upon the dragon throne.
Zhu Helin was almost despairing. He turned his head to look at Su Yan, and from that pleading gaze suddenly arose a striking light.
“…Qinghe, move the lamp away first,” Zhu Helin instructed.
Su Yan, also worried that the lamp oil might accidentally spill onto the bed, moved it to the table by the window.
“Qinghe, come here,” Zhu Helin instructed again.
Su Yan returned to the bedside and was just about to ask what else he needed when he was suddenly pulled onto the footboard.
Zhu Helin turned from the edge of the bed, knelt properly on the footboard, pulled Su Yan to kneel beside him, then said to Zhu Jintang on the bed: “Does Royal Father know that Qinghe and I have already paid respects before the elders… in the ancestral temple, before my mother’s spirit tablet. Unfortunately, we only completed half of it at the time. Now, taking this opportunity, we may as well complete the other half.”
Su Yan was both shocked and annoyed, struggling hard against the sleeve Zhu Helin had grabbed, trying to stand up: “What are you trying to do, young master… This is nonsense! Don’t anger His Majesty into illness.”
“He would have to be able to get angry first for there to be any talk of being angered into illness,” Zhu Helin refused to let go. “Wasn’t this what you said, that ‘whether joy, anger, or urgent distress, as long as it stirs the emotions, it may have an effect’? What, you’re unwilling to cooperate?”
Provoked by him like this, Su Yan hesitated. On one hand, he felt that Zhu Helin’s crooked idea was utterly improper; on the other, he thought that regardless of whether the cat was black or white, as long as it caught mice, it was a good cat.
Taking advantage of his hesitation, Zhu Helin pressed him back down onto the footboard and repeated, word for word, the vow he had once made before the late Empress’s spirit tablet: “Royal Father, do you see the person beside me? His name is Su Yan. Aside from Royal Father and Royal Mother, he is the most important person in my heart. He trusts me, cares for me, and is willing to entrust his life and future to me; and I also trust him, like him, and want to do everything in my power to fulfill his wishes. I swear to never betray him in this life, to stay together until our hair turns white, never parting. I ask Royal Father to bear witness!”
At this moment, Su Yan felt shame, anger, helplessness… a tangle of emotions knotted together in his chest, too complex to describe. He was moved by Zhu Helin’s sincerity and fervor, yet displeased that he used such a solemn vow as a means, while also hoping that Zhu Jintang might truly awaken from the stimulation, even if he were angered into some ailment, as long as he woke, it could be treated.
Seeing his expression, Zhu Helin knew that forcing him to repeat “never betray each other in this life, to stay together until our hair turns white, never parting” was absolutely impossible. So he knocked his head three times on his own, then stood up, grabbed Su Yan’s arm, and pulled him toward the bed.
Su Yan was alarmed: “What are you trying to do now!”
Zhu Helin countered: “After paying respects to the elders, isn’t it time for the bridal chamber?”
Su Yan snapped: “You’ve gone too far, Zhu Helin. Some things lose their meaning if you take advantage of the situation… This is no longer about whether His Majesty will be angered, it’s about me being the one angered into illness!”
Zhu Helin stopped, looked at him steadily. It was hard to tell whether his expression was serious or hurt as he asked in a tight voice: “Back then, was Shen Qi taking advantage of the situation? Was Jinghong Zhui taking advantage of the situation?”
Su Yan froze, not expecting him to suddenly bring up the two of them, nor knowing how much he actually knew.
“If in your eyes they do not count as taking advantage, then why is it that only I do?”
“…”
Zhu Helin scooped up the speechless Su Yan in one motion. Taking advantage of his distraction, he easily tossed him onto the bed.
The bed surface of the canopy bed was wide enough to walk eight steps across. For the convenience of massage, the medicine boy had placed Zhu Jintang on the outer side, leaving a large stretch of space empty inside; there was more than enough room for two more people to lie down.
Su Yan struggled to crawl toward the outside of the bed, careful not to press down on Zhu Jintang lying on the outer side, but was pushed back toward the inner side with one hand by Zhu Helin.
Without even removing his boots, Zhu Helin braced a hand on the edge of the bed and lightly leapt over the outer side, firmly pinning Su Yan beneath him.
Su Yan only felt as though he were being stepped on by ten pear blossoms at once, and could not help letting out an “Ow!” as he pushed at him with all his strength.
Zhu Helin did not let himself be pushed away, but he also did not make any further move, simply pressing him down with entwined limbs for a while. Watching Su Yan exhaust himself into panting heavily, finally going limp and lying flat on the bedding in helpless resignation, Zhu Helin suddenly let out a low laugh.
“…What the h*ll are you laughing at!” Su Yan had been so angry he was about to explode, but now his anger had unknowingly deflated, and even his scolding voice sounded weak. “You used to be such a good young man, when did you turn into this, pulling out all kinds of absurd and shameless tricks? Are you even human anymore?”
Propping himself up on either side of Su Yan’s body with his arms, giving him a bit of space to breathe, Zhu Helin said, “You see that I’m different from before? Good. Whether you like it or whether you’re angry with me now, just don’t treat me like a child anymore.”
Su Yan was so exasperated by this “child”, tall, strong, muscles hard as iron, that he felt like coughing up blood. Ever since the last time Zhu Helin had taken advantage of the deer blood cake excuse to forcibly get close to him, Su Yan had suspected that at least half of it had been deliberate pretense.
It was practically an instinctive mastery of the stratagem “feigning foolishness while not being truly mad.” Someone who acted pure on the outside while hiding schemes within, how could he still be treated as a child?
Su Yan said helplessly, “No, no. Your Majesty is already an adult, the supreme ruler. This subject would never dare to look down on you or be angry.”
Zhu Helin said, “There you go again, bringing up status as a shield. Right now, you and I cast aside our identities and age, we are simply two men whose hearts are in accord…”
“Wait!” Su Yan cut him off. “Who’s in accord with you? Where is this ‘feeling’ coming from?”
“You have no feelings for me? If you had none, would you have let me kiss you as I pleased before? If you had none, would you have bound yourself to my boat and strategized for me? If you had none, would you care more about others slandering me than if they were cursing you yourself? If you had none, would you, in Nanjing, go to Zhongshan Tomb in wind and rain without fail, accompanying me for an entire year in hardship? If you had none, would you risk your life to lure away pursuing troops just so I could escape?”
A barrage of pressing questions nearly stunned Su Yan. But he felt his thinking was still clear and refused to be led astray, arguing, “That was loyalty, righteousness, the yi of moral duty, not the ‘affection’ you’re talking about!”
Zhu Helin laughed again. “Enough. Any one of those things you’ve done for me, your efforts and sacrifices, if placed upon ordinary lovers in this world, would be enough to bind them for three lifetimes. Qinghe, I was once ignorant and didn’t understand true feelings, but you, you’re just like being in the mountains and unable to see the mountain.”
Su Yan was once again left speechless, feeling a kind of helplessness of “what he says seems to make sense, but the reality isn’t quite like that.” But what he could not deny was that he had given everything of himself for Zhu Helin, had exhausted himself to ensure his smooth ascension to the throne, something most couples in the world could hardly achieve.
Was this loyalty, or was it love? Or perhaps both? Su Yan subconsciously turned his head to look at Zhu Jintang lying beside them, then shook his head. “I’ve said before, I belong to your Father…”
This time it was Zhu Helin who cut him off: “A lover, I know. Right now I have no intention of stopping it. They say a person is born of the Father’s essence and the mother’s blood, so at least half of me is the same as Royal Father. That same part of falling in love with the same person, when you think about it, it seems quite normal.”
Normal? What part of this was normal? Su Yan very much wanted to grab his collar and shake him, shouting, where is your sense of propriety? Yet he suddenly remembered that since arriving in this era, his own sense of propriety had already been shattered again and again.
In the end, he could only sigh, dejected, helpless, and with a splitting headache: “Helin, stop messing around. Let today’s matter end here. Forget His Majesty, even I’ve had more than enough stimulation…”
But Zhu Helin had no intention of stopping. Still, he magnanimously gave him a choice: “Right now, right here, either you consummate with me, or you consummate with my Royal Father. Choose one.”
Su Yan: “You, you… he…”
Zhu Helin: “Royal Father can’t move. I can act in his stead. A son repays the Father’s debt.”
Restrained by the other’s strength, Su Yan felt like fainting, desperately sucking in breaths.
Zhu Helin urged, “If you don’t kiss him, I’ll kiss you.”
Not only had Su Yan’s sense of propriety shattered across the bed, even his sense of shame had been ground to dust by this new emperor who loved storybooks and excelled at drawing erotic illustrations.
I will never kiss a Father in front of his son! Su Yan’s roar had not yet left his throat before it was blocked back by the “son” of that “Father.”
…And then that “son,” with no practical experience, once again knocked Su Yan’s lips until they split. As compensation, he very consciously transferred mouthful after mouthful of precious “dragon breath” to him.
In his fluster, Su Yan grabbed wildly with both hands, catching Zhu Jintang’s hand and gripping it tightly.
After a while, he finally found a gap to speak, gasping: “—His Majesty’s finger moved!”
“Really?”
Half-leaning over him, Zhu Helin craned his head to look at his Father, studying him carefully for a long time before saying, somewhat disappointed, “It didn’t. You’re deliberately changing the subject.”
Su Yan also looked closely, examining Zhu Jintang’s hand, muttering, “I really felt his finger move just now, a very slight motion. Could it have been my imagination…”
The two of them waited patiently for quite a while, but there was no movement at all.
Zhu Helin suggested, “How about you take off your clothes and increase the stimulation a bit?”
Unable to bear it any longer, Su Yan was about to plant a punch squarely on his face, but just before striking, he remembered that he had once promised never to be the first to use violence against Zhu Helin again. So no matter how much his teeth itched, the punch instead landed on the bedboard.
The bedboard shook with a loud bang, startling Zhu Helin. “Don’t hit, don’t hit, be careful of your hand bones! If you won’t take it off, then don’t. I was just saying it.”
Su Yan pushed him away, carefully climbed over Zhu Jintang and jumped off the bed, straightening his disheveled robe and headpiece.
Only now did he finally remember that he had someone backing him, and with full confidence he pointed out the window: “Believe it or not, all I need to do is shout ‘Ah Zhui,’ and a flying sword will come and stab you straight through, he won’t care whether you’re the emperor or not!”
Zhu Helin sat cross-legged beside his Royal Father, smiling as he asked in return: “Then why didn’t you shout just now?”
…Right, why didn’t I shout just now? Su Yan was dumbfounded.
“Your subordinate is here. What orders does my lord have?” A cold, clear voice sounded from outside the window.
Su Yan turned to look at the tightly shut window, dumbfounded again: “I, I just called you?”
“My lord said, ‘Believe it or not, all I need to do is shout Ah Zhui,’ so that counts as calling.”
Su Yan: …
D*mn, how much of that conversation with Zhu Helin did he hear? This was too embarrassing, basically a public execution!
Jinghong Zhui, whose voice could be heard but whose figure could not be seen, seemed to understand something from the silence inside and added, “Matters concerning my lord’s privacy, I will not listen. However, sometimes the sound is too loud; even without deliberately listening, I can vaguely hear some movement. If my lord truly encounters trouble in the future, just call out loudly. Even if it is the emperor, my sword can still stab a hole through him.”
Su Yan’s face flushed red. He looked around for something at hand to throw at Zhu Helin, who was now sitting properly on the bed with an innocent expression, but feared accidentally hitting Zhu Jintang, so in the end he gave up.
He felt that for quite a long time he would have no face to see His Majesty again, so he pushed open the window and tipped himself outward, closing his eyes: “Ah Zhui, let’s go back!”
Jinghong Zhui caught him in a full embrace. Under the moonlight, the two figures merged into one and vanished in an instant.
Zhu Helin got off the bed, sat on the footboard, lifted Zhu Jintang’s hand and placed it on his own forehead, pretending that his Father’s palm was stroking him. He sighed softly: “Royal Father, I am sincere toward Qinghe… Since he can accept you, sooner or later he will be able to accept me as well. Don’t you think so, Royal Father?”
He lingered before his Royal Father’s bed for quite a while, muttering a heap of words without the slightest dignity. Seeing the moon tilt toward setting, the young emperor left reluctantly.
Inside the room, the remaining candle flickered on the verge of going out, faintly illuminating a hand resting by the bedside, just before the flame died, the fingertips seemed to twitch, ever so slightly.
