At the hour of Chen, a young eunuch came running into Fengxian Hall, panting, tripping over the threshold before scrambling up and hurrying forward with a bow, reporting: “Su, Su Gelao has left home! He first went to a medicinal shop to pick up prepared tribulus powder, then got on a carriage heading toward the palace!”
Zhu Helin was sitting cross-legged on a luohan couch. Upon hearing this, he immediately ordered Fubao: “Bring me the medicine, quickly.”
Fubao poured a bowl of the medicinal decoction simmering over a small red-clay stove. As he handed it over, he hesitated and tried to persuade him: “In this servant’s opinion, Your Majesty should not take this medicine…”
Zhu Helin dismissed the reporting eunuch, took the bowl, and drank it in gulps while blowing on it.
Fubao’s face was full of worry and unease. Zhu Helin shot him a sideways glance: “Didn’t the imperial physician say the effect is temporary? Once the medicine is stopped, it will recover. I’m not worried, what are you worried about?”
“How could this servant not worry? It’s said that all medicine carries some poison.” Since the matter was serious, Fubao had to rely on their long-standing closeness to persuade him further. “Even the imperial physicians cannot guarantee it’s completely safe! If later, after stopping the medicine, it doesn’t recover, or can’t recover as before, the consequences would be serious! Your Majesty, this concerns your dragon body, please think it over more…”
Zhu Helin said seriously: “I’ve already thought it through. If this works, then one word, worth it. If it doesn’t… if it doesn’t, then what use is that thing of mine anyway?”
Fubao’s round face wrinkled into a knot. He knew his master’s feelings toward Lord Su were not something of just a day or two. From the moment he first came of age until now, grown into adulthood, those feelings had never ceased. Because they had never been fulfilled, they turned into an obsession, and now into a desperate, all-or-nothing resolve, almost costing him half his life.
He could only plead with both heartache and helplessness: “Please reconsider, Your Majesty. There must be other ways, we can take it slowly…”
“You know what he’s like, don’t you? Without a strong dose, he’d stay in that ‘fatherly kindness and filial piety’… bah, deep affection and righteousness, for a lifetime!” Zhu Helin downed the remaining half bowl of medicine in one gulp, shoved the empty bowl into Fubao’s hands, and said, “When he comes to inquire about my illness later, clear out everyone inside and outside the hall in advance. Also, no matter who comes to report matters today, turn them all away.”
Fubao, unable to persuade him, could only obey.
An hour later, Su Yan indeed appeared at Fengtian Hall and said to Fubao, who stood waiting outside, “Fubao Gonggong, I heard His Majesty has been somewhat unwell recently, so I came to inquire after his health. Please trouble yourself to announce me.”
Fubao smiled: “Lord Su has already entered the Grand Secretariat, yet still treats this servant so politely. From your side it is humility, but from this servant’s side it feels distant.”
Su Yan also smiled: “Indeed, we’ve known each other for three years after all. Acting like this does seem distant, then I’ll be more casual.”
“Being casual is good.”
“How is the young master’s health?”
Fubao showed a troubled expression: “This servant was just hoping Lord Su would help persuade him. One word from you is worth a hundred from others. Please persuade His Majesty to take his medicine properly, it will be cured sooner or later, and he mustn’t act out of stubbornness.”
Hearing this, Su Yan felt even more distressed. He stuffed the tribulus powder he was carrying into Fubao’s arms: “Take this medicine. Have him take it three times a day with warm water for at least a month.” As he spoke, he didn’t even wait for an announcement and went straight inside.
Fubao held the bundle of paper-wrapped medicine and smiled, instructing the young eunuchs to close the hall doors and all withdraw to wait in the courtyard below the steps.
Su Yan entered the inner hall and saw Zhu Helin lying on the luohan couch in broad daylight, sleeping with a thin brocade quilt pulled over his head.
This was truly unprecedented. Su Yan knew how energetic Zhu Helin usually was, either attending court audiences in the morning or inspecting affairs everywhere, never napping at noon, never skipping his afternoon training in riding, archery, and wrestling, and even after handling state affairs at night, still practicing swordplay in the imperial garden for half an hour. He simply couldn’t sit still.
It showed just how much this hidden illness had affected him, leaving him completely dispirited.
Su Yan felt bitter inside. He walked over, sat by the couch, and asked softly, “Asleep?”
Zhu Helin lay with his back to the outside, unmoving and silent.
Su Yan placed a hand on his shoulder and lifted the brocade quilt covering his head: “I know you’re not asleep. Shall we talk?”
Zhu Helin closed his eyes: “Talk about what?”
Su Yan hesitated for a moment, then said, “Well… that thing for men, actually, it doesn’t work every single time. Occasionally, due to poor condition, one may be unable to perform. That’s normal.”
Zhu Helin suddenly opened his eyes and snapped angrily, “Who leaked this to you? Was it Fubao? I’ll have his head!”
Su Yan quickly tried to calm him: “It has nothing to do with Fubao. Last time I left the palace, I saw the eunuch delivering medicine and investigated it myself.”
Zhu Helin flushed red with agitation, pulled the blanket over his head again, and continued pretending to sleep. Su Yan patiently coaxed him: “First relax your mind. There are so many highly skilled imperial physicians in the palace, they will definitely be able to cure it. You have to keep taking the medicine.”
Seeing Zhu Helin ignore him, Su Yan leaned over to pull at his blanket, but suddenly his wrist was seized and yanked hard, flipping him onto the couch.
“Highly skilled my *ss. I’ve been taking the medicine for days and it’s completely useless. Look, look!” Zhu Helin grabbed Su Yan’s hand and shoved it under the blanket, pressing it directly down below himself.
Su Yan instinctively tried to pull his hand back, but after a brief pause, he went along with it, rubbing back and forth a few times through the trousers.
At seventeen or eighteen, it was an age full of vigor, forget touching, even seeing or hearing something could stir things up, especially for someone like Zhu Helin, who was easily excitable. Su Yan had experienced this quite a bit before.
But now the other was completely still; no matter how he tried, there was no response at all. Something was indeed seriously wrong.
Su Yan withdrew his hand and said awkwardly, “There’s really no reaction at all?”
Zhu Helin looked dejected and embarrassed. He turned over onto his stomach, burying his face into the pillow, and replied in a muffled voice, “Of course there’s feeling, it just won’t rise… I’m done for, Qinghe. I’m useless now.”
Su Yan was extremely anxious as well, offering suggestions like grasping at straws: “Maybe the stimulation isn’t enough. How about you summon a few consorts, ”
Zhu Helin abruptly lifted his head and cut him off: “Where would I even get consorts?”
Su Yan: “There’s still time to appoint them…”
Zhu Helin: “Get lost! You know I have no interest in women. What kind of terrible idea is that!”
Su Yan couldn’t very well suggest summoning male attendants either. For a moment, worry and headache mixed together, and he sighed helplessly.
Zhu Helin buried his face back into the pillow again, sighing repeatedly: “If I’m like this, with no manly vigor at all, what emperor am I? I might as well abdicate to my younger brother Zhao. Or issue an edict and summon Fourth Imperial Uncle back to the capital.”
“What nonsense are you saying in a fit of temper!” Su Yan said angrily. “It’s just a minor functional issue, how does that make you unfit to be emperor? Don’t lose heart. I’ll definitely find a way to cure you.”
“What way?” Zhu Helin asked in return.
Su Yan thought for a moment: “First think carefully, under what circumstances was the last time it worked?”
Zhu Helin tried to recall: “Watching erotic pictures… no, soaking in hot springs using my hand… not that either… ah, I remember now, I had an erotic dream! That time everything was fine.”
Su Yan asked, “What kind of dream? Perhaps recreating the scenario could help you regain that feeling.”
Zhu Helin said, “Wasn’t it you again. I dreamed you were only wearing a very thin gauze robe, with a faintly visible dudou underneath, a fine gold chain tied around your ankle, walking barefoot across the carpet. With each step, the little bells on the chain made a crisp sound, dingling, dingling…”
“Shut up!” Su Yan’s cheeks flushed instantly. He sat up abruptly and glared at Zhu Helin.
Zhu Helin looked at him with a wronged expression and muttered, “You were the one who asked first. I just answered truthfully.”
Su Yan covered his face with his palm, taking deep breaths in and out.
Zhu Helin softly suggested, “That dream left a deep impression on me. After I woke up, I even… How about you reluctantly give it a try? Maybe it’ll work.”
Su Yan’s irritated voice squeezed through his fingers: “I would rather die than dress like that. Just keep dreaming!”
Zhu Helin deflated and buried his face back into the pillow again, saying gloomily, “I don’t want to be emperor anymore. Let Zhao take the throne. Or issue an edict to summon Fourth Imperial Uncle back to the capital.”
Su Yan was furious. He grabbed Zhu Helin by the back of his collar: “Being emperor isn’t something you can take up or give up on a whim! You have to be responsible for the people of the realm!”
Zhu Helin shot back, “I’m responsible for the people, then who is responsible for me?”
Su Yan’s hand loosened, the collar slipping from his fingers. He fell silent for a long time, struggling internally again and again, and finally, as if resigning himself, gritted his teeth: “Since this problem arose because of me, I’ll take responsibility for curing you.”
“Really?” Zhu Helin lifted his face from the pillow, unable to hide his delight, but then his gaze dimmed again. “Forget it. You said you’d rather die than dress like that. I don’t want to force you. Anyway, whatever medicine the imperial physicians prescribe, I’ll take it without missing a dose. Whether it works or not will depend on fate.”
At this point, Su Yan steeled himself: “We’ll try once. Whether it works or not, I’ve done my utmost.”
Zhu Helin immediately threw off the blanket and was about to jump off the bed to find the gauze robe: “Try now?”
Su Yan felt utterly mortified: “In broad daylight, try what? Do you have no sense of shame at all!”
“Then tonight, ” Zhu Helin suddenly remembered the medicine he had just taken. Who knew if its effects would wear off by evening? If at a crucial moment it truly didn’t work, it would all be for nothing. He hurriedly corrected himself, “Better tomorrow night. I also need to prepare myself mentally. Thinking about it, it’s quite… quite embarrassing…”
As if you’re the one who has to dress like a dancer! What embarrassment do you have! Su Yan couldn’t swallow his frustration and pinned Zhu Helin down on the couch, kneading and tossing him about.
If it were before, Zhu Helin would have been overjoyed, but at this moment the suppressing medicine was taking effect. Though his blood surged from the contact, his yang energy could not rise, like a smoldering fire trapped within, nearly cooking his organs.
So he refused to be outdone and fought back. The two tangled limbs and rolled around on the couch. Before long, Zhu Helin, filled with unexpected delight, let out a low call: “Qinghe, you…”
Su Yan, panting, his face burning red, quickly covered his mouth, not allowing him to continue.
Zhu Helin chuckled muffledly in his palm.
Su Yan, embarrassed and angry, threatened, “Laugh again, laugh again and I won’t care about your illness anymore. I’ll just let you end your line.”
Zhu Helin pulled his hand away and said indifferently, “Oh. Then let it end. I’ll help you out first, consider it advance payment for tomorrow night.”
“Who wants your help!” Su Yan threw the brocade quilt over his head and was about to climb off the couch.
Zhu Helin flipped the quilt back and dragged Su Yan over again. He touched Su Yan’s face, his voice low and hoarse as he said, “Qinghe, do you know? On the day I ascended the throne, I wore solemn ceremonial robes, a crown with twelve tassels on my head, and sat high upon the dragon throne. Civil and military officials knelt within the hall, and the whole world submitted beneath my feet, but through the gaps in the hanging beads, I could only see you.”
“You were wearing a crimson robe, standing beside the lacquered golden pillars, like a dazzling beam of morning light. The cries of ‘long live’ echoed in my ears, yet in my heart at that moment, there was only one thought…”
“…What thought?” Su Yan’s gaze grew somewhat unfocused as he murmured.
“I wanted to pin you against the pillar and kiss you until you couldn’t breathe… You would definitely be both embarrassed and angry, worried about being seen. So I would use my wide black sleeves to cover your body, just like this…” Zhu Helin pulled over the edge of the quilt, covering both himself and Su Yan.
The two of them shared the same thin brocade cover, their breaths mingling in the confined space.
Su Yan’s back pressed against the backrest of the luohan couch, like being pressed against a massive pillar in the grand hall, kissed deeply and recklessly by the newly enthroned ruler.
All the officials watched them; the whole world watched them. But the young emperor’s robes shielded every piercing gaze, blocking countless blades and shadows outside.
Those blades and shadows, he had once borne them himself, using his frail body and all his effort to pave a path to supremacy for the other. And now the other repaid him with the same resolve and fervor, only to fulfill every promise made in youth:
“Qinghe, let us make a pact here, never to betray each other!”
“I will never change, you must believe me! I believe you too!”
“I swear to never fail him in this lifetime, to stay together till old age and never part.”
Su Yan endured stiffly and dazedly for a long time. At last, he reached out and wrapped his arms around Zhu Helin’s neck, closing his eyes in quiet acceptance.
