The mountain temple was dilapidated, the rainy night cold and eerie, yet the scholar illuminated by the bonfire seemed to draw in all the world’s desire and longing, blooming with a striking allure.
His clothes disheveled, brows faintly furrowed as he moaned softly, fingertips brushing lightly, waist trembling. He was the temptress of a wandering hero, the inner demon of an enlightened monk, the irresistible lure dragging all light into the abyss.
Yet he alone met resistance from the steadfast, unyielding warrior.
The seductive ghost was unwilling to give up. He had piled too much hatred onto this enemy, spent too much desire, he could not withdraw now. Whether hatred or desire, both were investments of his heart; he had to receive a return.
His slightly cool abdomen pressed against the other’s burning muscles. His restless fingers slipped from behind himself downward, trying to awaken and provoke the dormant dragon.
The warrior seized his wrist and rebuked, “A cold stomach causing pain is one thing, but are your hands hurting too?”
***
“You can’t check it yourself? What do you use your own hand for?” Su Yan challenged.
Zhu Helin: “I… my hand hurts. I twisted my wrist during training this afternoon. It still doesn’t have much strength. Look, the swelling hasn’t gone down.”
It did look a bit swollen, but only a bit.
Zhu Helin slipped his hand under his robe, grasped himself, and clumsily moved a few times before losing momentum: “It really doesn’t have strength. If this drags on, it’ll go limp again.”
Su Yan sighed helplessly, reached under the robe, and grasped the young emperor’s organ.
He had bathed with Zhu Helin several times before, it wasn’t as though he hadn’t seen it, but now, holding it firmly in his hand, the shape and heat felt like an entirely unfamiliar shock.
Zhu Helin drew in a breath, his breathing seeming to halt completely for a moment, then growing even more rapid and heavy, the corners of his eyes beginning to moisten and redden. The scene he had long yearned for had finally appeared before him, yet because he had waited too long and been disappointed too many times, it felt unreal.
Almost at a loss, he grabbed at the bedding a few times, then suddenly came to his senses and wrapped both arms around Su Yan, his voice slightly choked: “Qinghe, grip a little tighter… move, move a bit…”
Su Yan did not want to meet Zhu Helin’s gaze at this moment. He turned his face aside and lowered his head, pressing his cheek against one side of the other’s shoulder.
He looked at the jade hook hanging from the bed curtain and thought of how he had once taught the little crown prince cuju, writing exercises, Western chess, drawing maps… Back then, he had never imagined that one day he would personally demonstrate to the grown crown prince how to masturb*te.
In a certain sense, Zhu Helin was the person of this era who had received the most of his ideas and intellectual inheritance, truly his disciple.
Over the years of the other’s growth, he had invested far too much emotion. Whether out of ideals, responsibility, or fondness, investment was investment, by the end, how could one still clearly distinguish between public and private?
He was not someone who only gave without expecting anything in return, though what the other gave back differed somewhat from what he had wanted.
That difference was too intense and too persistent, knocking at his heart again and again, until after being shaken repeatedly, he finally grew confused: what he felt for Zhu Helin, was it loyalty and affection, or romantic feeling? Or both?
“Why must one choose only one among relationships like ruler and subject, friends, family, lovers? Why can’t one be both ruler and subject and also lovers; both lovers and also brothers? Human relationships are inherently complex, if you dissect them too clearly, it’s like splitting feelings apart piece by piece, and they lose their flavor.” Words he had once said echoed in his mind.
Yes, was it really so important to distinguish between loyalty and love? The one he was willing to give for, to sacrifice for, the one he could not lose, was Zhu Helin one of them?
“Qinghe, Qinghe…” Zhu Helin trembled under his deft fingers, clutching his back tightly, lowering his head to kiss his cheeks and neck in a disordered way.
Su Yan did not respond to the kisses, nor did he know what to say.
The object in his hand was young and fervent, sizable, dormant for him and aroused for him, yet he still could not settle himself to accept it. Perhaps it was not because of feelings, but because of bloodline.
Zhu Helin’s bloodline with Zhu Jinteng.
Su Yan let out a silent sigh, closed his eyes, and quickened the motion of his hand.
Zhu Helin suddenly grabbed his hand, stopping him.
He heard the new emperor lean close to his ear and ask hoarsely, “…Are you thinking about my imperial father?”
Su Yan’s shoulders trembled slightly. He opened his eyes and raised his face to look at Zhu Helin.
“So you treat all these things I ask of you as the willful demands of a junior, and because of my father you have no choice but to help me?”
Su Yan frowned deeply at this: “The reason I’m willing to help you is not because of the late emperor…”
Zhu Helin’s face mixed desire with agitation as he rasped, “Then why are you still thinking about him at a time like this!” He squeezed Su Yan’s fingers hard. “Just now you closed your eyes and looked at him, through me, touching him, weren’t you?”
Su Yan shook his head. “No.”
Zhu Helin softened his tone: “Then look at me. Respond to me… call me Helin…”
Su Yan’s mind was in chaos.
The warrior had been driven to the edge of desire. The alluring ghost’s vivid body coiled around him like a secret realm inviting him deeper, every entrance open to him.
“My lower passage is also cold and aching. Your flesh is so hot, could you help warm it for me as well?”
The warrior had never seen such naked desire, yet it was cloaked in the guise of earnest pleading. The way he looked at him made it seem as though he were the only savior in heaven and earth.
The alluring ghost moaned softly: “So cold, so painful… ah… please, sir, save me, put that hard, hot flesh inside me and save me…” He guided the warrior’s hand to touch his opening.
The warrior lowered his head to look at the scholar in his arms, his expression serious. “I cannot save you.”
The ghost pressed against his strong chest, panting: “How would you know without trying? Even a little relief would be enough… sir, please.”
The warrior gripped the slender waist, thrusting into him while saying in a low voice by his ear: “I cannot save you, because you do not wish to be saved. What you want is conquest and taming.”
Zhu Helin pressed Su Yan down onto the bedding, licking at his chest through the clinging red gauze.
Su Yan panted and pushed at him forcefully, his fingers leaving streaks of scratches across his shoulders and back.
Zhu Helin turned from licking to biting, like punishment and also like a declaration, while forcibly lifting one of Su Yan’s legs onto his shoulder, his lower body bumping clumsily between his legs. The tiny golden bells on the anklet rang crisply without cease with the uncoordinated motion.
“Qinghe, I want you… where, how do I go in, teach me…”
Hearing the plea, Su Yan’s vision went dark in waves. In name he was the emperor’s teacher, yes, but that certainly did not include teaching a student how to force himself on his teacher!
“Zhu Helin!” he called out his full name. “Must it really come to completely tearing things apart? It’s still not too late to stop now!”
“Why stop? Let me fall off the cliff, I’m willing!” Zhu Helin grew ruthless, spreading Su Yan’s legs wider, groping inch by inch: the half-hard shaft, the tightening sac, the thin tender skin, and further back, the tightly closed, trembling opening.
He knew it should be here, but even a fingertip could barely enter that narrow passage, how could it accommodate something larger without injury?
Zhu Helin lowered his head to look at his own swollen, throbbing member, at least as thick as a teacup and as long as a hand, blunt at the tip and narrower at the base, with flared ridges. It seemed that if the head could go in, the rest would follow more easily… but how to start?
Troubled and unable to ask directly, he finally had no choice but to ask Su Yan: “How did you and my royal father do it? How big was his, and how did it go in?”
Su Yan was so angry his chest ached; he grabbed the soft gold-threaded jade pillow nearby and brought it down on the new emperor’s head.
Zhu Helin easily intercepted it, tossed the jade pillow toward the wall, and hurriedly explained, “Qinghe, don’t misunderstand, I have no intention of humiliating you. I just want to know… what should I do?”
Seizing the chance, Su Yan pulled his ankle free from the grip. Not caring about being bare and barefoot, he snatched up the fallen dragon robe, wrapped it around himself, and ran toward the hall doors.
How could Zhu Helin let him go? He jumped off the bed and caught him, robe and all, in his arms.
Struggling, the two of them fell onto the tiled floor together, rolling around and knocking into the corner of a table. The teapot on top overturned, tea spilling down in a thin stream, soaking the lotus-green dragon robe.
Zhu Helin felt the wetness on his hand and suddenly had a realization. He smeared the tea onto himself, intending to force his way in.
Su Yan cried out in pain, nearly making Zhu Helin lose his arous*l.
Repeatedly thwarted, Zhu Helin felt utterly aggrieved. With reddened eyes and tears welling, he said, “You won’t teach me, and I’m afraid of hurting you, what should I do? Am I supposed to shave mine down thinner?”
He got up to fetch a paper-cutting knife from a drawer, his face full of resolve. Su Yan was terrified and hurried to stop him, cursing angrily, “What kind of cursed fate is this! What kind of bad deeds did I do in my past life to end up with a stubborn fool like you!”
Hearing an opening, Zhu Helin abandoned all sense of masculine pride and imperial dignity. Like when he used to deal with his father as a child, he wrapped his arms around Su Yan’s waist and pleaded, “Su Shilang, Prime Minister Su, teacher, teach me, teach me.”
Teacher Su, cornered by a clingy student, let out a long sigh. “Promise me one thing, and I’ll teach you.”
Zhu Helin was overjoyed and agreed readily: “Let alone one thing, even a hundred or a thousand, I’ll agree.”
Su Yan looked him straight in the face and said solemnly, “Tonight, whatever happens in this hall, treat it as me repaying three years of emotional debt to you. Once dawn comes and we leave this hall, all debts are cleared, you are not to pester me again. After this, whether we are ruler and subject or friends, there must be no more crossing the line.”
The joy froze on Zhu Helin’s face as he shook his head, unable to accept it. “Do you think the reason I cling to you is just for a single night of pleasure?” Pain and anger rose in his chest. “Su Qinghe, is that how you insult someone? What do you take me for?”
Su Yan’s expression darkened as well. “I’m the one without a thread on, and you’re fully dressed. If we’re talking about humiliation, who started it? Besides, you go limp when you say limp and hard when you say hard, what tricks are you hiding behind this? Before I was too concerned to think clearly, now you expect me not to suspect a setup?”
Zhu Helin panicked inside and denied it outright. “How could I joke about something like this! You’ve already asked the imperial physicians, you’ve seen my condition yourself, true or false, you can judge.”
Su Yan wasn’t entirely certain either; he had only been testing him with words. Seeing this reaction, he felt it unlikely to be a deception, so he softened his expression. “Whether you agree or not doesn’t matter. Your condition is already better, let this end here. Your Majesty, may you be well. I take my leave.”
Zhu Helin had already made up his mind, tonight, even if he had to tear apart the Hall of Ancestral Offerings, he would not let him go. In a fit of temper, what did it matter if he agreed? When one is ensnared by feelings, the heart is ever-changing. Better to appease him for now, create a breakthrough between them, and slowly conquer everything later.
So he said, “I agree. Only tonight, only within this hall. After sunrise, it will not be mentioned again.”
Su Yan closed his eyes and silently recited his newly formed “Su-style syllogism”:
Rather than let feelings tangle endlessly, better to cut through them with a swift blade.
One who teaches scientific and physiological knowledge is a teacher.
As long as I abandon shame, then the shame belongs to others.
He took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and said to Zhu Helin, “Come onto the bed.”
“Do you remember the Lantern Festival that year, the ao mountain lantern fair? You said two obscene lines to me under the city tower, lines you must have read from some storybook: ‘Break open the jade vessel to find the hidden passage; dive into the golden valley to seek the flower’s heart.’ I asked you then if you knew what it meant, and you couldn’t answer. Now I’ll tell you.”
The torn red gauze garment lay discarded beneath the bed. Draped in the lotus-green dragon robe, Su Yan sat on the couch-bed, his pale, long legs extending forward, barely concealed by the hem.
He leaned forward, seized Zhu Helin’s right hand, brought it to his lips, and extended his tongue to slowly wet the other’s middle finger from tip to base.
Just that single finger, yet the seventeen-year-old emperor was driven nearly out of his mind, his nose heating as he hurriedly covered it with the back of his hand.
Supporting himself with his left hand on the bedding, Su Yan bent his legs and leaned back, exposing himself completely between his legs. He guided Zhu Helin’s right hand, pressing the damp middle finger against himself. “This is the ‘jade vessel’s hidden passage.’ The so-called ‘hidden’ means it can expand and contract freely. To open it properly, you need sufficient patience.”
He guided the other’s finger, rubbing the folds at the entrance, gradually stretching the muscles, making them relax and soften, from barely admitting a fingertip, to accommodating two fingers, then three.
Zhu Helin’s face flushed red as blood throughout, staring without blinking, his throat bobbing continuously.
At last his fingers could enter fully, touching the soft, slick inner walls, tightly enveloped and drawing him in, the sensation like seeking immortals in a drunken dream.
“This is the ‘golden valley.’ To ‘dive within’ is like a flood dragon or a great roc, varying weight, depth, and rhythm, stirring waves within the sea. You must not charge recklessly without method.”
Holding his student’s hand, Su Yan guided the movements, curling like a hook, extending like a blade. As the student grew more adept, a flush also crept onto the teacher’s face; amid his quickened breathing, he forced himself to maintain a steady tone.
Suddenly, the fingers brushed a certain spot. Su Yan let out a low “ah,” panting as he said, “This is the ‘flower’s heart.’ Its depth and size vary from person to person, but it is roughly here, you must search carefully to find it. Feel it well, how is it different from the rest?”
Zhu Helin’s eyes reddened completely at the corners, breathing heavily, chest rising and falling as his fingertips explored. After a moment, in a hoarse voice almost breaking, he answered, “There’s a slight protrusion through the inner wall, about the size of a chestnut… and in the middle… a groove?”
He pressed lightly at that shallow groove, drawing from Su Yan a strained moan. Barely steady, Su Yan said, “Once you find the ‘flower’s heart,’ during union, attend to this place more, strike it with the tip, or rub it with the shaft, alternating and repeating, and very soon you can bring the other to the peak.”
Zhu Helin was already unable to restrain himself. He abruptly withdrew his fingers and, with his aro*sed member, broke through the “jade vessel’s hidden passage,” driving straight into the “golden valley.”
Varying force, depth, and rhythm, stirring waves like the sea, he silently recited the techniques he had learned, his excitement blazing like fire as he began to thrust, gritting his teeth: “I’ll send you to…”
The latter half of the sentence cut off abruptly.
Su Yan felt the other’s body suddenly stiffen, freezing as if turned to stone. After a moment, warmth began to seep from where they joined, trickling down along the crease of his buttocks onto the bedding.
Zhu Helin’s body collapsed over him like a fallen building, trembling violently in spasms. Alarmed, Su Yan held him tightly: “Young master! Are you alright, young master?”
The only response was a pained howl.
Zhu Helin lay on top of him, wailing loudly.
It was the first time Su Yan had seen a grown man cry so miserably, each sob felt like a blade stabbing into his chest and twisting. It hurt so much he could hardly breathe. All he could do was hold Zhu Helin tightly, repeatedly kissing his temples and hair: “It’s alright now, really alright, don’t cry, don’t cry…”
Zhu Helin rolled over and curled into himself, burying his face in his arms, crying as he said, “Go away, just go! Leave me alone!”
How could Su Yan possibly leave? He bent down to embrace him again, but Zhu Helin refused to be touched, tugging the blanket over himself.
As Su Yan pulled his head out from the covers, he coaxed gently, “There’s really no need to take it so seriously. Finishing too quickly the first time is very normal, too sensitive, that’s all. With more experience, sensitivity will decrease, and duration will gradually lengthen.”
Zhu Helin sniffled, fell silent for a moment, then asked in a low voice, “Really?”
“Really, I’m not lying. When I was first…”
“Who did you give your virginity to? Don’t lie to me!”
“Uh… well… sigh.”
Zhu Helin resumed crying.
“Alright, alright, I’ll tell you, it was Qilang.”
“Hmph, I knew it! I guessed it long ago!” Zhu Helin stopped crying and ground his teeth.
Sensing danger, Su Yan quickly changed the subject. “Besides sensitivity, it also has to do with mindset. The more nervous or excited you are, the more it affects performance. That’s why Daoist teachings say one shouldn’t engage when emotions are unsettled.”
Zhu Helin wiped his tears clean with the edge of the blanket and said, “I’ll try again.”
“Mm, you’ll try aga…what?” Su Yan said in surprise. “Didn’t you just…?”
Zhu Helin turned to look at Su Yan’s naked body. There was still a trace of white fluid near his thighs, like a mark of desire he had left. Reaching out, he toyed with the fine gold chain at Su Yan’s ankle and said, “Seeing you like this, I’m h*rd again.”
Since the student insisted on reviewing what he had learned, the teacher could only continue his instruction tirelessly.
This time, he lasted a quarter of an hour before collapsing again. Zhu Helin choked out, “Qinghe, you’re too good, I couldn’t hold back…”
Though Su Yan himself had not fully found release, he was somewhat amused. Stroking the crisscrossing scratches on the emperor’s back, he offered guidance: “Young people must learn restraint. Don’t let desire cloud your mind. When you feel clim*x approaching, stop moving, either hold your breath and endure, or withdraw briefly. Once the urge passes, continue again. Repeat this several times, and you’ll develop lasting endurance, ensuring harmony and satisfaction in future relations.”
“Really?”
“Of course.” (Though I’ve never once succeeded, every one of them turns into a mad dog in bed, never letting me control anything.)
Zhu Helin’s wounded pride was soothed once more, and he sought a kiss from his teacher. Su Yan, feeling a sense of accomplishment from his “instruction,” thought that since there was only this one night, he might as well let him be affectionate.
As they kissed, Zhu Helin grew aroused again and eagerly suggested, “Let’s try again?”
Su Yan had a bad feeling, this boy might not last long, but his stamina was excessive.
Without waiting for consent, Zhu Helin picked up the fallen red gauze garment, twisted it into two long cords, tying one end around Su Yan’s ankles and the other to the bed frame. This way, as he knelt at the bedside to practice, his hands were free to roam.
The red gauze against pale skin swayed in the air, the small gold bells ringing softly, an undeniably enticing sight. Following his teacher’s instruction, when nearing clim*x he would withdraw and instead use other methods to calm himself, quickly discovering the sensitive spots on Su Yan’s body.
From thighs to waist to chest, Su Yan was reduced to trembling cries. When his aro*sal was taken into the other’s mouth out of curiosity, he let out a pleading cry.
This round lasted half an hour. Su Yan clim*xed twice, and finally declared that since the student had progressed so quickly, there was nothing left to teach, he needed a break.
He drifted into a daze and fell asleep for a while. During that time, Zhu Helin treated his body like some rare treasure, exploring it in all kinds of ways. Su Yan couldn’t be bothered anymore: do whatever you want, I’m sleeping!
After an unknown length of time, Su Yan suddenly woke. Zhu Helin was entering him from behind. Seeing he had woken him, he said apologetically, “Go back to sleep, just sleep, ah.”
Su Yan snapped, “How am I supposed to sleep like this?!”
“It’s fine, you sleep, I’ll do mine.” Zhu Helin thrust deeply, burying himself into the “golden valley,” striking directly at the “flower’s heart.”
A cry was forced from Su Yan, intense pleasure exploding through every part of his body. Sleep vanished instantly. He knelt on the bedding, unable to stop himself from moving his waist to meet the forceful thrusts from behind.
***
The alluring ghost was driven up and down, hairpins falling, long hair spilling like dark waves.
The warrior’s flesh was both an instrument of pain and a tool of ecstasy. Gripping the other’s muscular shoulders tightly, he cried out freely, suspended between the mortal world and the realm of spirits.
This moment should have been the prelude to revenge, a trial of endurance, but amid the surging sea of desire, he found a fleeting, reckless wish: to prolong it endlessly.
The warrior clenched his teeth, holding his breath as he thrust again and again, veins bulging at his temples. This battle of body and spirit was not as easy to win as he had imagined, each twist, each sound from the other was more dangerous than any trap, sharper than any blade.
He was caught in a trap, blades pressed against his body, yet beyond vigilance there arose a strange sense of satisfaction, like downing a whole jar of aged wine alongside rich, succulent roast meat.
The alluring ghost lowered her head, panting as she looked at him, her eyes shimmering with moisture.
The warrior suddenly asked, “You want my primordial yang?”
The alluring ghost laughed between breaths. “So you saw through it long ago.”
The warrior said, “If I guard my primordial yang, I’ll be invulnerable, you won’t be able to do anything to me.”
The alluring ghost countered, “Can you really hold onto it?”
The warrior said nothing, only thrusting fiercely. After a long while, he said, “I’ve caught you.”
The alluring ghost wrapped her arms around his neck, sharp teeth showing between her red lips. “Wrong, it’s me who’s caught you.”
It was impossible to tell who had tempted whom, or who had captured whom. Across the three thousand worlds, the mortal realm churns on; humans, demons, and ghosts alike rise and sink in the sea of desire, without exception.
***
The long night was drawing to an end; the dying candle in Fengxian Hall burned down to its last.
Zhu Helin held the deeply sleeping Su Yan in his arms, leaning against the headboard as he flipped to the end of the storybook. At last, he let out a long breath and remarked, “All living beings have feelings.”
Lowering his head, he kissed the crown of his beloved’s head and said softly, “I have broken my word and won’t keep the promise. Qinghe, forgive me.”
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