The Whole World Is My Crematorium Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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Yunjian Pavilion was a family of sword cultivators with a history of thousands of years. It was now the number one sect in the world and stood out from the crowd. Except for Xingtian Sect, other families and sects all bowed down to it. Xingtian Sect was called a demonic sect by the world because its way of cultivation was a deceitful one and the people under it were all evil cultivators. Since ancient times, good and evil have been inseparable. Yunjian Pavilion and Xingtian Sect regarded each other as their number one enemy and had been fighting each other for hundreds of years. From their first inability to determine victory or defeat to the present, Xingtian Sect had been frequently suppressed, so Xiao Du naturally had to find another way.

Xiao Yuan had heard a little before about Gu Louyin, the young master of Yunjian Pavilion. He was said to be [the proud son of Heaven, with extraordinary appearance, bright as the moon, and with a talent for eloquence]. It was good for Xiao Du to have this idea, but even if he wanted Xiao Yuan to seduce Gu Louyin, what if Gu Louyin did not lose his mind?

Xiao Yuan tried to reason with Xiao Du: “My Lord, who is Gu Louyin and who am I? I am just a casual cultivator, with what could I seduce him?”

Xiao Du: “With your face.”

Xiao Yuan choked.

Meng Chi pursed her lips, smiled and said, “Gu Louyin is a man. Since he is a man, it’s hard to resist a beauty. He might not look up to ordinary beauties, but he will definitely give you another glance or two.”

Xiao Yuan said quietly: “I’m afraid just a few more glances won’t be enough. My Lord, Elder Meng, you don’t really think that Gu Louyin will marry a pretty but worthless good-for-nothing, right?”

Xiao Du smiled, “You don’t have to say that about yourself.”

“Even if he is willing, will Yunjian Pavilion be willing, and will the pavilion master of Yunjian Pavilion be willing? The little lady of the man with the best sword skills in the world, not mentioning her appearance, should at least be from a prestigious sect.”

Although Xiao Yuan’s Shizun was a powerful figure, he had no sect. Having some friendships with both the good and the evil, he was, to put it bluntly, an unrestricted casual cultivator. Raised by his Shizun, Xiao Yuan was naturally also a casual cultivator.

“Indeed,“ Xiao Du said, “Just your face is not enough for Gu Louyin to marry you.”

Xiao Yuan took the opportunity to say, “My Lord is very wise, I am afraid,  this heavy responsibility…”

Xiao Du interrupted him: “Ah Yu, what do you think are the two words that people who claim to be on the right path value most.”

Xiao Yuan thought for a while, “Cultivation base?”

Xiao Du sneered: “Moral integrity.”

Xiao Yuan didn’t quite understand what Xiao Du meant and Meng Chi explained: “The Lord’s meaning is that you need to make Gu Louyin have to marry you for the sake of moral integrity.”

Xiao Yuan: “Can you speak a little more clearly?”

“This is very easy to do,” Meng Chi said with a smile, “just have the raw rice turn into cooked rice.”

Xiao Yuan’s face darkened. Are you kidding me? He had lived for seventeen years and hadn’t even held a girl’s hand, yet they wanted him to cook rice with a man he had never met before?

“I refuse.”

Meng Chi said: “I met Gu Louyin once last year. He is really an immortal-like young master. In terms of appearance and cultivation, he is someone superior. If you can really become his Dao companion, it will be a blessing for you.”

Xiao Yuan said coldly: “Do you want this blessing for yourself?”

Meng Chi was not angry and said with a smile: “Yes, it’s a pity that he won’t be interested in me.”

Xiao Du looked down at Xiao Yuan and his voice could be described as gentle: “Ah Yu, don’t force us.”

Xiao Du’s handsome, romantic face was close at hand and Xiao Yuan clenched his fist, eager to punch him fiercely.

He had been favoured by Xiao Du for half a year. Even if he was unwilling at first, the many calls of ‘gege’ later were not completely fake. The day before Xiao Du discovered that he had mistaken the wrong guy for his younger brother, Xiao Yuan even thought that Xiao Du was really his elder brother. He thought he had finally found a relative.

He had seen Xiao Du’s pampering appearance, so Xiao Du’s current appearance was particularly irritating.

Meng Chi said, “Master Xiao, you have been in Xingtian Sect for this long, so you should have at least seen how we force people to submit. We don’t want to do anything to you, really.”

Xiao Yuan was silent for a long time and then asked, “Where is my Shizun, where is he?”

Xiao Du smiled slowly, bent over and whispered in Xiao Yuan’s ear: “Your Shizun doesn’t want you anymore.”

Xiao Yuan’s body froze.

“He said something to me the day he sent you to Xingtian Sect.”

“He said, ’Since Ah Yu is your younger brother, I will leave him to you in the future’.”

Xiao Yuan’s reaction was much calmer than Xiao Du expected. Xiao Du was slightly surprised: “You seem to have expected this?”

Xiao Yuan neither admitted nor denied it. In the month when he waited for his Shizun in vain, he was already prepared.

Xiao Du straightened up and said teasingly, “It seems that your Shizun’s position in your heart is nothing more than that.”

Xiao Yuan’s Shizun was not only his teacher but also the one who brought him up. Anyone who had some humanity in his heart should have regarded this person as the most important person in their life, but Xiao Yuan… had no humanity. When he was very young, [All Have] warned him not to trust anyone easily, especially his Shizun. Somehow, he had been waiting for this day, waiting for his Shizun to not want him.

[All Have]’s voice rang in Xiao Yuan’s mind: “Getting close to Gu Louyin is part of the task.”

Xiao Yuan: “It’s easy for you to say, anyway, it’s not you who will become Dao companions with a stranger.”

[All Have]: “You will not become a Dao companion with Gu Louyin. By then, I will let you leave and set you free.”

[All Have], although annoying, it never broke its promises. Xiao Yuan believed it, smiled at himself and said, “My Lord is right, I really have no room for rejection.”

Meng Chi smiled and said, “Master Xiao really understands the current state of affairs.”

Xiao Du narrowed his eyes, as if dissatisfied with Xiao Yuan’s answer, “You agreed quite happily.”

Xiao Yuan: “???” Are you still dissatisfied with my happy promise?

At this moment, the maid who had just been here came again, “My Lord, the young master said that he would not eat anything alone, and said he must wait for you to have a meal together.”

Xiao Du didn’t bother to spend any more time on Xiao Yuan and said to Meng Chi: “You can explain to him the rest, and don’t forget to give him the Experiment Gu (insect/parasite).”

Xiao Yuan’s pupils shrank – Experiment Gu?

Meng Chi glanced at Xiao Yuan and smiled meaningfully: “Yes, my Lord.”

After Xiao Du left, Meng Chi said to Xiao Yuan: “You have to go back and prepare. In three days, I will send you to see Gu Louyin.”

Xiao Yuan thought about what Xiao Du said and asked, “Meng-jiejie, is His Lordship going to test some Gu on me? What kind of Gu is he testing?”

Meng Chiyu hesitated: “You will know when the time comes.”

Three days later, Meng Chi came to Xiao Yuan’s residence as agreed.

Xingtian Sect was located at the top of the northern territory and was frozen in snow all year round. Plum blossoms were blooming in the courtyard, their deep fragrance overflowing. Xiao Yuan was wearing a snow-white fox fur and enjoying the flowers in boredom. When he heard Meng Chi call ‘Master Xiao’, he turned his head and looked at the door.

The color of his pupils was very light, his irises having a slightly red tinge, hazy and misty; while his lips were spotless red, as if he was drunk but not drunk. He turned his head for a moment. Matching the cold plum blossoms with his gorgeous beauty, nothing could be more beautiful than this picture.

“Meng-jiejie is here.”

Meng Chi calmed down and said with a smile: “Where does the rouge on your lips come from? Jiejie likes it, give her some.”

Xiao Yuan said, “I’m a dignified seven-foot tall man, how can I apply rouge.”

Meng Chi chuckled and beckoned to him, “Come here.”

Xiao Yuan hesitated for a moment, then walked over, “What’s the matter?”

Meng Chi unexpectedly stretched out her hand, pinched Xiao Yuan’s cheeks, forced him to open his mouth and stuffed a cold pill in, “Okay.”

“Ahem–” Xiao Yuan coughed violently, trying to cough up the swallowed pill, “What did you, what did you give me?”

Meng Chi said: “The outer layer is the ‘flame poison’ commonly used by Xingtian Sect. After taking it, the person is usually safe and sound, but an antidote must be used every hundred days, otherwise the Flame will reach his heart and all his internal organs will be burned to death. But Master Xiao doesn’t need to worry, as long as you are obedient, I will give you the antidote regularly.”

Xiao Yuan rolled his eyes. ‘Every hundred days’. He will regain his freedom after a hundred days. Who will Xiao Du play with then?

“As for the inside… It is my proudest work – Acacia Gu.”

It came from Meng Chi, and it was called ‘Acacia’. When Xiao Yuan heard it, he knew it was not an honourable Gu.

Xiao Yuan said, “What is it for?”

Meng Chi patted Xiao Yuan’s lower abdomen and said, “This Gu has been planted in your body and it will attack once a month on the 15th. During the attack, the Gu carrier will be hot and dry all over, sleepless, delirious, and thirsty for skin to skin contact. It will also release a love… fragrance to seduce others.” Meng Chi’s expression showed a bit of pride, “This love fragrance of mine, coupled with this face of yours, not to mention a young man like Gu Louyin who hasn’t seen much of the world… even the Venerable Lord might have difficulty in resisting it.”

“Isn’t this an aphrodisiac?”

Meng Chi said angrily: “What aphrodisiac, how can those inferior things be compared with the Gu that I created?”

Xiao Yuan: “…” Big sister, your Acacia Gu doesn’t seem to be much more noble than others, does it?

He was not afraid of the Flame poison but the Acacia Gu attacked once a month, and there would be at least two occasions before he was free, which would not be easy.

The situation didn’t allow him time to think too much. Meng Chi said, “Ready? Let’s go then.”

Xiao Yuan looked back at the house where he had lived for more than a month. If there were no incidents, he would never come back again. He thought of one thing and asked, “Meng-jiejie, why did the maid who delivered my meals suddenly change? I heard that the previous maid made a mistake. What mistake did she make?”

“Oh, that thing.” Meng Chi’s tone was ambiguous, “If you want to blame someone, blame Master Xiao for his elegant and beautiful appearance, which attracts young girls to have romantic thoughts.”

Xiao Yuan: “Huh?”

“She hid your hairband and painted a lot of portraits of you. The Venerable Lord accidentally knew about this, ruined her appearance and gifted her to me. I am about to try a few tricks on her.” 

Xiao Yuan’s expression changed slightly, “That’s not true.” 

Meng Chi speculated: “The Venerable Lord probably doesn’t like others to covet you.” 

Xiao Yuan thought Meng Chi’s words were really funny, “Come on. If he didn’t like it, how could he let me seduce Gu Louyin.” 

Meng Chi shrugged, “The Lord’s temperament is elusive, who can guess his mind.” 

Xiao Yuan thought for a while, then smiled and said, “Meng-jiejie, you see how obedient I am. Can you give me some face and let go of that maid? If you can cure her face by the way…”

Meng Chi squinted at him, “Could it be that you like her too?” 

Xiao Yuan shook his head, “In the past month, she was the only one who talked to me.” 

Meng Chi thought for a moment and said, “As long as you continue to be obedient and don’t cause me trouble, I can think about it.” 

Xiao Yuan smiled and said, “Thank you.” 

“Let’s go,” Meng Chi said, “I’ll take you to see Gu Louyin.” 

Since their target was the young master of Yunjian Pavilion, Xiao Yuan thought he would be taken to the territory of Yunjian Pavilion; he didn’t expect Meng Chi to take him to the foot of an unknown mountain and say, “Gu Louyin is on the mountain.” 

Xiao Yuan asked, “What is he doing in the mountains, growing vegetables?” 

Meng Chi: “Hunting.” 


“Or another way to say it is he thinks he is hunting. The Venerable Lord set up an ambush for him on the mountain early on. He and his Shixiong (senior brother in the sect) have been fighting in the mountains for three days and today they have reached the limit. At that time, you will pretend to be a passerby and save his life, so that he can regard you as his savior. With the grace of saving life between you two, things will be much easier to do.” 

Xiao Yuan’s face was expressionless: “Wonderful.” 

As soon as Meng Chi was about to speak, her eyes suddenly became sharp, “Who is it?”

A black-robed man flashed out of the woods, “This subordinate joins Elder Meng.”

Meng Chi: “How is the situation on the mountain?” 

The black-robed man said, “Gu Louyin fell down with exhaustion and lost consciousness.”

Xiao Yuan had a question. Since Xiao Du had the ability to force the young master of Yunjian Pavilion to such a point, why didn’t he just kill him but instead clung to some Dao companion idea. Based on Xiao Du’s talents and calculations, he would definitely not give up the near and seek the far. There had to be some hidden agenda here.  

Xiao Yuan asked, “Are his eyes okay?”

The black-robed man was taken aback, “Should be okay.” 

“Don’t let anything happen to them,” Xiao Yuan said, “if he is blind, how can I seduce him with my face.” 

“What about his Shixiong?” Meng Chi asked, “It’s better to kill those who will get in the way.” 

The black-robed man said solemnly: “Gu Louyin tried his best to protect his Shixiong. This subordinate was incompetent and let his Shixiong escape.” 

Xiao Yuan said, “The friendship between fellow disciples is really shocking.” 

Meng Chi sneered: “Gu Louyin, as the young master of Yunjian Pavilion, was stupid enough to protect a nameless minion, disregarding his life and death. But this is also good, it shows that Gu Louyin is a person who values affection and righteousness and is bound to death by ‘moral integrity’.” She turned to Xiao Yuan, “Master Xiao, please.” 

“Wait, since you want me to do things, give me back my weapon.” Xiao Yuan said helplessly, “Now that my body is poisoned and infected with Gu, you guys aren’t still afraid that I will escape, are you?” 

Meng Chi raised the corners of her lips and smiled, “You wait.” As she spoke, she lowered her head, took out a folding fan from between her breasts and threw it to Xiao Yuan.

Xiao Yuan bit the bullet and took it, feeling that he was holding a hot potato.

“There is one more thing the Lord asked me to give to you.” 

Xiao Yuan took a step back, for fear that Meng Chi would take out something from a strange place again. Fortunately, she just took off an earring from her ear this time, “Here.” 

Xiao Yuan took the earring, “What is this?” 

“A token of affection.”  

Xiao Yuan was very calm, “Really? I do not believe it.” 

Meng Chi smiled playfully, “It’s a lie. Do you know the nine-tone snail?”

Xiao Yuan nodded, “I know. Nine-tone snails, born in pairs, have the ability to transmit sound for thousands of miles – are your earrings made of nine-tone snails?”

“Exactly. The other half of the pair is in the hands of the Lord.” 

Xiao Yuan’s expression was subtle, “So…”

“So as long as the Lord wants, he can learn about the situation on your side at any time and pass his orders to you.” Meng Chi smiled sweetly, “Master Xiao, don’t let His Lordship down.”

Xiao Yuan smiled coldly: “I dare not.” 

“There is a thatched cottage at the foot of the mountain. After you see Gu Louyin, take him to the thatched cottage to recuperate. I gave you a perfect start, and the next step is up to you, Great Beauty Xiao.” 

Xiao Yuan said modestly: “I just have a bit of beauty and not worthy of the words ‘great beauty’.” 

Meng Chi completed her task without delay and quickly returned to Xingtian Sect to report the completion of her mission.

At night it was snowing again in Xingtian Sect. Xiao Du was dressed in red and stood leaning against the rail, with the cold wind blowing through his sleeves, turning them into a pair of blood-stained butterfly wings.

Meng Chi stood behind him and said, “My Lord.” 

Xiao Du said, “Is everything done?” 

Meng Chi nodded, “I have sent Master Xiao to Gu Louyin’s side, everything is in order.”

Xiao Du looked at the snow for a while and asked, “Is he still very obedient?” 

“Master Xiao has been very well behaved the entire time.” 

Xiao Du smiled inexplicably, “Really.” 

Meng Chi vaguely noticed that Xiao Du was in a bad mood, and said tentatively with a smile: “Your Lordship is reluctant to let Master Xiao go?”

Xiao Du turned around, looked at Meng Chi with a smile and said half-true and half-false: “After all, he still is a stunning beauty, it’s natural not to want to let him go after looking at him for a long time.” 

“It’s a pity that his temperament is not like that of a beauty.” In Meng Chi’s opinion, beauties either had to be like a flower of the high mountains (cold and unapproachable) or delicate and lovely, and Xiao Yuan couldn’t be associated with either. “If Your Lordship misses him, you can use the nine-tone snail to convey your voice to him.” 

Xiao Du said negligibly, “Let’s talk about it later.” 

“Gege–” A crisp young voice came from behind, “Come and try my dumplings!”

Xiao Du suppressed the chill over his body and raised the corners of his lips, “Come here.” 

It was the middle of winter; on this unknown mountain it was also snowing heavily. Xiao Yuan, wrapped in fox fur tightly, braved the wind and snow and walked step by step towards the young man sitting under the tree.

The young man leaned back against the trunk of the tree, holding a long sword stuck in the ground. His snow-like white clothes were soaked in blood; his head was slightly tilted, his eyes were closed, and there was a trace of blood at the corner of his mouth.

This was probably the most sorry state for the young master of Yunjian Pavilion. When he saw him for the first time, Xiao Yuan remembered the nine words: the proud son of Heaven, bright as the moon.

Xiao Yuan bent over and checked his pulse. The people of Xingtian Sect had a very good sense of measure. Gu Louyin had shed a lot of blood but his spiritual veins were not damaged. In the future, he just needed to eat more pig blood to make up for it.

Xiao Yuan took off his fox fur. Under the fox fur, he was wearing an eye-catching red shirt, which looked like a burning flame in the wind and snow.

He covered the young man with the fox fur and was thinking about how to take him down the mountain when his wrist was suddenly caught.

Xiao Yuan’s heart thumped – Gu Louyin wouldn’t wake up, would he? He calmed down and said, “Are you okay, brother?” 

Gu Louyin’s long eyelashes trembled; his eyes still closed, he grabbed Xiao Yuan’s hand and whispered softly: “…Shixiong.” 

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