The Whole World Is My Crematorium Chapter 5

Chapter 5

<Previous Chapter<Table of Contents>Next Chapter>

Xiao Yuan was stunned for a moment, not knowing what to do.

Meng Chi said Xiao Du was practicing swordsmanship with his younger brother, so wasn’t he supposed to not come back for the time being? If he heard Meng Chi’s conversation with him, Meng Chi would be punished. Xiao Yuan didn’t say a word and waited to see what would happen.

Meng Chi said calmly, “It was Master Xiao who took the initiative to find me and ask about the whereabouts of Gu Louyin’s Shixiong.”

Xiao Du said slowly: “Really.”

Meng Chi asked, relieved, “Why did the Venerable Lord suddenly come back, but the young venerable master…”

Xiao Du said, “I forgot something and came back to pick it up.”

Meng Chi: “What did Your Lordship forget?”

After this sentence was said, someone withdrew their spiritual power and Xiao Yuan couldn’t hear anything else. At this moment, he didn’t have time to ponder; his mind was full of Meng Chi’s words just now. He could have never imagined his pig-headed shidi would come to Xingtian Sect to find him and even take Xiao Du’s palm blow for him. If people who didn’t know what their relationship was heard about it, they’d probably think that they were fellow disciples who deeply cared for each other.

But in fact, as he said to Gu Louyin, he and his shidi were sick and tired of each other and they had always been at odds. Things similar to the sugar figurine happened many times. On the surface, Xiao Yuan cared about his shidi, not because he was generous but because [All Have] requested him to be a good brother who was kind to his shidi. If it weren’t for this, he suspected that he would have scattered the ashes of his shidi a long time ago.

Half a year ago, his Shizun took him to Xingtian Sect to meet his brother. Not only did his shidi not say goodbye to him, he even sneered at him, saying that since Xian Yuan had climbed the high branch, there was no need for him to come back. ‘Your house belongs to me and your bed belongs to me. If you want to come back, there is no place for you to live.’ Now Xiao Du didn’t recognize him as his younger brother but he hadn’t returned to his shimen. Wasn’t this what his shidi wanted? What was he doing?

Xian Yuan didn’t know where he went after he was injured, or how much he was injured… anyway, with such a foul temper he deserved to suffer.

Xiao Yuan put his shidi’s affairs out of his mind for the time being and prepared to go to bed to rest. Leaving him no choice, [All Have] popped out to teach him to do things again: “Go find Gu Louyin.”

Xiao Yuan took a deep breath; there were only three months left, he had to endure. He called the servants of the governor’s mansion and asked, “Where is the city’s coffin home?”

On the outskirts of Luling City, the grassland was overgrown, the mist was like a shroud and the silence was like death, with occasional sounds of crow wings flapping. The gate of the coffin home was open and there were two lights inside. The smell of incense in the coffin home was extremely heavy. Mixed with the smell of rotting corpses, it was really disgusting.

Gu Louyin was checking the three corpses, and Steward Wang of the governor’s mansion stood aside with his nose and mouth covered. Gu Louyin caught the slight sound of footsteps and clenched the hilt of his sword.

Xiao Yuan said, “Master Gu, it’s me.”

Gu Louyin relaxed his hand, “Why are you here?”

“I was worried about you. How is the situation?”

Gu Louyin stepped aside and motioned to Xiao Yuan to take a look.

Before approaching, Xiao Yuan drew a circle around his head with his fan. A bubble grew from the bottom up and was placed over his head. “Then you can’t smell it.”

Gu Louyin couldn’t help saying, “Can’t you… do something that matches your face?”

Xiao Yuan: “What?”

Gu Louyin pursed his lips, “It’s fine.”

Steward Wang was stunned when he saw it and said in a trembling voice, “Could this be a legendary immortal technique?”

“Yeah,” Xiao Yuan said with a smile, “do you want me to make one for you too?” 

Steward Wang’s eyes lit up: “It’s more than I can ask for!”

Gu Louyin couldn’t help but say, “There are many kinds of techniques, this is just one of them.”

Xiao Yuan asked, “Master Gu, do you want it?”

Gu Louyin had the word “No” in capital letters on his face.

Xiao Yuan smiled and got down to business. As the governor of Luling said, one of the three bodies was burned to a scorched corpse, one had its face smashed and the third one was divided into eight pieces that were put together; it was also missing an eye. The only thing that could be pointed out about the corpses was that they were two women and one man.

Xiao Yuan said, “The three murders seem to be done by humans.”

Gu Louyin nodded: “Seeing their wounds, it seems so.”

“That’s weird. Ghosts and evil spirits are inhuman, so it’s understandable if they do some incredible things. It doesn’t make sense for humans to kill someone and make a special trip to the governor’s mansion to dump a corpse just to disgust people?”

Gu Louyin said, “In any case, the identity of the deceased should be confirmed first.”

Steward Wang smiled bitterly and said, “Master Immortals have also heard what our lordship said. No one is missing in the mansion or Luling City, and there is nothing we can do about it.”

Xiao Yuan walked a circle around the three corpses and found that the word “Shou” was engraved on the coffin of each corpse, so he asked Steward Wang: “Your lord’s surname is Shou?”


Gu Louyin thought of something, walked to another coffin not far away and said, “Is this person also from your mansion?”

Steward Wang was taken aback and hurriedly said, “Yes, yes.”

“Who is it?”

“It was a concubine that my lord accepted in his early years. She had been out of favour for many years and went crazy in the backyard. She suddenly hanged herself a while ago. No one from her family collected her body. My lord asked me to transport her body to the coffin home.”

Gu Louyin frowned slightly, “You said she killed herself?”

“Yes, hanged herself.”

Xiao Yuan said, “People who kill themselves are full of resentment and their corpses can easily transform. But I didn’t notice even a trace of resentment from her. Is my cultivation level too low?”

Gu Louyin: “No.”

Xiao Yuan asked, “When did she kill herself?” 

Steward Wang replied: “At the end of last month.”

Xiao Yuan remembered that three nameless corpses also appeared in the governor’s mansion one after another starting from the end of last month. Was there any connection between them?

Gu Louyin seemed to think the same thing and said, “Open the coffin.”

Steward Wang hesitated: “That, that won’t be good. Anyway, she is the concubine and could be considered as half a master, and they all say that the deceased…”

Gu Louyin ignored him and knocked on the coffin lid with the sheath of his sword. Before the sword was drawn out, the coffin lid fell to the ground with a thud.

The woman in the coffin was about thirty years old. There was a constriction groove on her neck and her tongue was slightly exposed; she did hang herself. Even though her death was gruesome, it could be seen that she had been a beauty once. Oddly enough, Xiao Yuan still didn’t feel the slightest resentment from the corpse.

Xiao Yuan felt something was wrong with it. A beautiful woman who married a fickle lover as a concubine and killed herself after falling out of favour, did she really feel no hatred at all?

His gaze went from the woman’s face to her lower abdomen, and he was startled, “Master Gu!”

“I know,” Gu Louyin said solemnly, “let’s go back and talk about it.”

Steward Wang said, “Have Master Immortals finished their investigation?”

“En—— Master Xiao.”


“You can take off your headgear.”

Back at the governor’s mansion, Xiao Yuan followed Gu Louyin into his room and couldn’t wait to speak, “That concubine was pregnant!” D*mn, he was holding it inside for so long; finally he could say it.

Gu Louyin said, “She has been out of favor for many years, how can she be pregnant.”

“Everyone with a dick in the governor’s mansion is a suspect.” Steward Wang was no exception.

Gu Louyin paused because of Xiao Yuan’s vulgar words, “En.”

“Master Gu, do you think the three nameless corpses are related to the death of the concubine?”

“It’s possible.”

“Then let me inquire about the place where the concubine lived, and let’s go and have a look tomorrow?”


The next day, Xiao Yuan asked a maid about that concubine. The concubine’s name was Lady Tong. Since she was rejected by the master, she had been living in a small dilapidated house in the backyard. She had never left her courtyard and only the maids who delivered her meals had seen her.

Xiao Yuan and Gu Louyin didn’t want to alert the enemy, so they sneaked into the backyard quietly.

The backyard of the governor’s mansion was full of people, reminiscent of the three palaces and six courts. Who knows what kind of a holiday it was, but the servants in the mansion were coming and going busily, and the governor’s concubines were all dressed up, as if they were going to a banquet.

Xiao Yuan said, “What are they doing?”

Gu Louyin said, “Today is the Lantern Festival.”

The 15th date of the first month was the Lantern Festival.

Xiao Yuan’s face suddenly changed. Acacia Gu in his body attacked on the night of the fifteenth day of each month – he was going to be in heat tonight!

Gu Louyin noticed Xiao Yuan’s strangeness and said, “Master Xiao?”

“Nothing.” Xiao Yuan smiled reluctantly, “Let’s go.”

The courtyard where Lady Tong lived during her lifetime was decrepit and small, but it was not as dirty as Xiao Yuan imagined. Looking at the furnishings in the house, it didn’t seem to be the residence of a person who had been crazy for some time.

“These days, lunatics also begin to love cleanliness. Or, the two maids who delivered her meals helped her clean it.”

Gu Louyin frowned, “That’s not right.”

Xiao Yuan was quiet but he didn’t feel anything, “What’s wrong?”


“How do I–”

“This thing is very well hidden.”

“’Thing’? You mean…” Xiao Yuan looked around. Many objects in the house were covered with layers of white cloth. Could it be that someone deliberately wanted to hide that ‘thing’?

Gu Louyin’s gaze swept past the square table, bed, wooden cabinet and finally landed at one point.

Xiao Yuan asked, “Do you want to see it?”

“En.” Gu Louyin drew out his sword and used the tip of the sword to stir up the white cloth. A woman’s dressing table suddenly appeared in front of him.

“Is this table weird?”

Gu Louyin remained silent, looking straight at the bronze mirror on the table.

Xiao Yuan followed his gaze and saw only himself and Gu Louyin. “Is there anything wrong with this mirror?”

“You don’t feel it yet?”

Xiao Yuan felt that his cultivation base had been insulted, “…no. Master Gu, can you make it clear?”

Gu Louyin shook his head, “I can’t tell.”

Xiao Yuan smiled and said, “Saying half and keeping half, you’ll end up an old bachelor.”

“There is something in the mirror.”

“We are in the mirror.”

Gu Louyin raised his sword and stabbed gently towards the mirror. A line appeared on the mirror’s surface, separating him from Xiao Yuan’s figure.

Xiao Yuan said, “Master Gu, if there is really a problem with this mirror, I advise you not to break it.”


“Because if a mirror is broken, it is still a mirror, just more mirrors.”

Gu Louyin understood what Xiao Yuan meant. He wrapped the bronze mirror in a white cloth and took it away.

At night the moon was as bright as day. The governor’s mansion was lit with lanterns as the governor held a banquet. His wives, concubines and children were all present, which made it extremely lively. He reserved seats for the two immortals and invited them to drink and enjoy the lights together, but they both refused.

Gu Louyin liked to be quiet and didn’t like ruckus, so naturally he didn’t join the excitement. Xiao Yuan’s excuse was that he wasn’t feeling well.

When they returned to their rooms, Gu Louyin asked, “Where do you feel discomfort?”

Xiao Yuan smiled and said, “Is Master Gu caring about me?”

Gu Louyin stopped, “Give me your hand.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Check the pulse.”

Xiao Yuan retracted his hand, “No.”

Gu Louyin: “…”

“Maybe I’m tired,” Xiao Yuan said indifferently, “it’ll be okay after a night’s rest.”

Gu Louyin didn’t ask anything else, turned around and went to his room.

Xiao Yuan raised his head and glanced at the full moon on the horizon. His incomparable eyes sank and he opened the door of his own room.

The night was getting darker, and two ghostly figures landed on the eaves of the governor’s mansion. One of them, dressed in blood-like red, was handsome, elegant and enthralling.

“Tonight is the Lantern Festival. Will the Venerable Lord really not accompany the young lord for the festival?”

Xiao Du lowered his eyes, looked at Xiao Yuan’s silhouette in the window and smiled softly: “This venerable would rather see Ah Yu’s Acacia Gu attack.”

<Previous Chapter<Table of Contents>Next Chapter>

Leave a comment