The optical computer had been taken back by the instructor, and the group could no longer contact each other privately.
The senior female student ran upstairs to the dormitory area to look for someone. She grabbed a young man who was walking outside and asked, “Is Tao Rui back?”
The senior male student hurriedly hid the pair of underwear he was holding and said, “Yeah, he’s back. The entire First Military unit is gathered around him. What’s wrong?”
The female student said, “Cheng Feng has gone missing. Go ask Tao Rui if he knows where she is. Could it be that the instructor is keeping her there for punishment?”
“Probably. I’ll go ask.”
Before long, the male student returned, looking quite shocked, and told her, “Tao Rui said Cheng Feng refused to apologize and would rather leave the base.”
The female student was surprised. “What?!”
The male student was also getting anxious. “She should still be at the base. She won’t be sent back to the joint university until tomorrow. You guys hurry up and search your side – don’t want her to do something drastic out of despair.”
The female student wasn’t too worried about that. A person who would rather refuse to apologize than give in was unlikely to do anything desperate.
The male student thought back over what he had just heard, found it utterly absurd, and made a snide remark. “What the hell is wrong with those two? Is apologizing really harder for them than getting a piece of flesh cut off? Would saying ‘I’m sorry’ kill them? Especially Tao Rui – he’s not young anymore, yet he’s being that stubborn and throwing a tantrum at a freshman girl!”
The group thoroughly searched the entire training building from top to bottom but still couldn’t find Cheng Feng anywhere. Afraid of disturbing the instructor again and causing more trouble, they moved very quietly, only daring to creep around on tiptoes.
The female student thought that Cheng Feng usually acted with good sense and wouldn’t suddenly cause any major trouble out of nowhere, so she decided to have everyone split up and search outside the training building. But as soon as she stepped out the main gate, she discovered that Cheng Feng was simply lying on the open ground in front of the base entrance, basking in the moonlight – heaven knows where she had found such leisure and elegance.
The group let out a collective sigh of relief, waved their hands, and dispersed.
Cheng Feng turned her head at the sound and looked at the retreating backs of the others with a confused expression.
Shen Dan walked over carrying a bottle of water and lay down beside Cheng Feng. The concrete ground, bare of any mattress, made her bones ache from the hardness. She tossed a bottle of mineral water to her friend and teased, “I thought you had drawn your sword and gone off to die together with the instructor.”
Cheng Feng failed to catch it. The bottle lightly hit her chest, leaving a brief, dull ache. She said weakly, “It has nothing to do with the instructor.”
Shen Dan asked, “What great philosophical thoughts about life are you pondering? Has the essence of heaven and earth you’ve absorbed been enough to make you achieve full enlightenment yet?”
Cheng Feng furrowed her brows slightly and said flatly, “I don’t know.”
She was recalling all kinds of scattered memories.
She remembered Ye Jing’s many profound words of advice to her. She also remembered how he would sit stiffly by the bedside every night, sweating and weak, staying up through the late hours. She remembered the fragmented things he’d occasionally mention, words that carried so much unspoken meaning.
Ye Jing had always clearly seen himself as a deserter. He wasn’t strong at all. Countless times, he had wanted to flee that battlefield, to escape that pain.
But the only time he ever retreated from the front lines was to dig a baby girl out of the rubble and, under the cover of his teammates, carry her out of the line of fire. It was a direct violation of orders – but he had never once thought it was a mistake.
For him, the true belief in war was probably not victory, but protection. That was the only way he could find some shred of self-justifying righteousness in the day after day of mechanical, blood-soaked killing.
He had always fantasized about escaping the unbearable weight that life had placed on him, though he never succeeded. In the end, crushed by it all, he chose to end his own life.
Cheng Feng had never been able to figure out exactly what those inescapable things were.
Perhaps it was death. Survival wasn’t a stroke of luck – it was a torture that proclaimed you had lost everything.
Maybe it was war. Yet he had continued to serve until the day the post-war star declared its independence.
…Perhaps it was human nature. Only by remaining indifferent could one live even a little more easily in that world riddled with gunfire and explosions.
Many of the questions Cheng Feng thought she would understand once she became an adult still remained blank, left unanswered by Ye Jing’s silence.
Ye Jing was like those celestial bodies visible to the naked eye. His pain and his contradictions were the most prominent shell around him. Strip those away, and no one knew what filled his inner world.
Perhaps there was nothing at all – just loose, shifting sand.
War was so cruel. It could destroy a person from the inside out. That was why one had to humbly revere life.
…
The next morning, Cheng Feng packed up her gear early. Just like when she arrived, she strapped on a huge military backpack and went to stand at the entrance of the training building, waiting for her guardian to come pick her up.
Mr. Luo had a very heavy research workload at the joint university, but upon receiving the notice, he immediately set aside what he was doing and rushed over in a hurry. Just past seven in the morning, he arrived by car at the base entrance, not even having had time to tidy his usually well-kept hair.
He and Cheng Feng met face to face at the gate. Facing this girl with a backpack slung over her shoulders and a faint trace of grievance hidden in her expression, he felt a complex mix of emotions.
Because he realized he wasn’t all that surprised – he had long been mentally prepared for this kid to run into trouble.
Human society really is very complicated. How could it be so simple to fit in?
Mr. Luo asked, “What are you standing here for? Being so proactive?”
Cheng Feng looked at him without speaking. To be honest, she felt a bit guilty. After all, she had previously sworn she definitely wouldn’t get sent back mid-course. She hadn’t even lasted a week – not even long enough to need a leave of absence. She was the first student to drop out, and she was probably going to embarrass Mr. Luo.
Of course, what hurt even more was the money. The promised scholarship was probably gone.
Mr. Luo, feeling goosebumps rise under her intense stare, remembered he had something important to do. He pointed at her and instructed, “Stand right here and don’t move. Go over there and wait for me. This matter isn’t settled yet. Does our joint university look that easy to push around? Just wait and see your teacher work some magic.”
Cheng Feng watched him leave, hitched up her backpack straps, and sat down on the nearby steps.
…
Mr. Zhou was waiting for Mr. Luo on the second floor, in the activity center.
When the two met, they found a quiet corner and shook hands firmly. Their shared sense of being overwhelmed by problems quickly brought them closer.
Mr. Zhou roughly recounted the incident, then couldn’t help but ask, “Is this kid of yours part bull? She’d rather crash straight through the south wall than turn back.”
Mr. Luo thought for a moment, then very seriously corrected him, “No, she’s part owl.”
Mr. Zhou: “??”
Was this kind of offbeat humor something that ran in the UFU’s bloodline?
Mr. Luo argued back, “What Cheng Feng said wasn’t wrong. So what if she spoke from her own experience? Tao Rui’s assessment was rather arbitrary and narrow-minded. He’s too immature.”
Mr. Zhou was astonished by the blind protectiveness this group had for their own. It was completely unreasonable.
“But she hit someone!” he exclaimed. “Wait – what exactly are you planning to accomplish by coming here today?”
Mr. Luo said, “A soldier should have a bit of fighting spirit. That’s the bottom line she stands by!”
Mr. Zhou said, exasperated, “But the bottom line she stands by – the chances of someone stepping on that landmine are just too high! I can understand that, but the alliance and the postwar star really are in different situations. She can’t just keep not letting people mention the word ‘deserter,’ can she?”
Mr. Luo shook his head and said, “Tao Rui’s parents systematically taught him all their years of experience, but they forgot that he has yet to see the true face of war. That’s why he lacks tolerance. What Cheng Feng can’t accept is his harshness. And honestly, can any soldier who has truly experienced frontline warfare accept it?”
Mr. Zhou tasted bitterness in his mouth.
He understood all the reasoning.
But Cheng Feng had hit someone!
Mr. Luo snorted heavily through his nose and was silent for a long time before continuing, “Besides, Cheng Feng’s father didn’t pass away regretfully for some unknown reason – he committed suicide. Nor did he ever receive any disciplinary action from the military. Do you think that by the time it got to that point, a man who was utterly sick of war, would a first-class merit, a general title, any kind of honor – do you think any of that meant a damn thing to him?”
Mr. Zhou’s eyelids twitched involuntarily from shock and unease.
Mr. Luo sighed. “It’s hard to make a fortunate person understand what misfortune means. The young people of today. But you – you’re different. You and Cheng Feng should be on the same side.”
…
Cheng Feng sat in place for fifteen minutes, her ear turned to the noise drifting through the windows.
She spaced out twice, and Mr. Luo still hadn’t come out. But Cheng Feng had figured things out on her own.
Leaving like this would be way too much of a loss. If she didn’t let out this anger, she’d be unhappy about it for the rest of her life.
Besides, Tao Rui still hadn’t realized his mistake or apologized to her. She was bound to get a disciplinary mark anyway, so she might as well beat him up one more time before leaving and teach him a lesson.
A combat robot never lets a grudge slide. She definitely wasn’t going to chicken out.
So Cheng Feng stood up.
The students who were training saw Cheng Feng walk in expressionlessly and stand quietly at the edge of the field. Thinking she had come to say goodbye, they were about to slow down and exchange a few words with her when they heard her call out to someone passing by: “Tao Rui.”
Tao Rui turned his head at the sound. The injuries on his face hadn’t healed yet -overnight, they had shifted from a slight red to a dark bruise, making the corner of his mouth look like it had been smeared with a comical gray stain.
He met Cheng Feng’s gaze and immediately had a bad feeling. Sure enough, the next second, Cheng Feng came charging at him with fierce momentum.
The painful lesson from last night was still fresh in his mind. Tao Rui whipped his head around and took off running.
Cheng Feng chased after him and shouted, “Are you going to apologize or not?!”
Tao Rui felt like his nerves were about to snap. He yelled in utter collapse, “Are you crazy?! Stay away from me!”
The surrounding students erupted into chaos.
“Ahhh–”
“Cheng Feng, calm down!”
“Stop chasing him! Someone in front, block her!”
Mr. Luo and Mr. Zhou looked over in horror. By the time they noticed what was happening, the crowd had already gathered in a thick, dense circle. They didn’t dare imagine what was going on inside.
