Transmigrated as the Campus Heartthrob’s Cannon Fodder Ex-Boyfriend Chapter 45

Shoutout to Kari for the commission!

One second.

Two seconds.

Three seconds.

The smile receded like a tide. Zhou Shirui stared deathly at that tiny section of the screen. His knuckles tightened around the mouse, veins bulging. His ears rang, an intense ringing, as though he had been struck directly in the head, leaving him dizzy and disoriented, his breathing rapid.

Le Cheng had been lying to him from beginning to end?

So, from the very beginning, you never truly meant it, right?

But what did all that kindness mean, then?

Did you just pity him?

His soul seemed to be torn apart, two completely opposing emotions pulling at him, creating the illusion that he was trapped in a dream.

So that was it.

So that seemingly ridiculous, “I like something platonic,” had been serious.

He liked being platonic with him.

His phone was ringing.

Zhou Shirui didn’t react until the buzzing in his ears finally faded. Only then did he slowly lower his eyes and look at the screen.

[Chengcheng]

He stared at it silently for a while, his fingers curling slightly before he answered.

“Zhou Shirui, I’m already downstairs.” Le Cheng’s voice came clearly through the phone, just like it had at every moment before. “Are you on your way?”

“Zhou Shirui…” Le Cheng seemed to hesitate for a moment. After a pause, he said, “Come over. I’ll wait for you.”

After a long while.

“Mm.” The sound seemed to be squeezed out from his throat. Zhou Shirui answered, “…I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

“Okay.” The end of Le Cheng’s voice lifted. “Then I’ll wait for you.”

The call was disconnected.

Twenty minutes later.

Le Cheng didn’t go upstairs to wait. He obediently stood by the side of the road instead. He was afraid Zhou Shirui might arrive early and not see him, and they would miss each other. His legs grew a little tired from standing, so Le Cheng simply crouched down to the side.

“Pata.”

A faint sound of footsteps, but in the quiet night, it was exceptionally clear. Le Cheng’s gaze moved away from his phone screen. He raised his head and looked at Zhou Shirui in the distance.

Zhou Shirui was too tall. Le Cheng had to tilt his face up to look at him, and beneath the hazy moonlight, he couldn’t make out his expression.

“You’re here!” Le Cheng tried to stand up, but the moment he got up, his legs were numb. He was forced to crouch back down again. Frowning, he looked toward Zhou Shirui once more.

Zhou Shirui was also quietly looking at him.

This scene wasn’t unfamiliar. Something about the similar image instantly pulled him into a memory. Le Cheng suddenly remembered that it had also been a night like this, when he had waited in exactly the same way, with the same heartbeat, the same sound of the wind buzzing in his ears.

What had he said back then?

In that lazy tone of his, he had said, Zhou Shirui, my leg is numb.

And Zhou Shirui had pulled him up and taken him into his arms.

The wind leaves no trace, but memories do.

After taking five or six seconds to recover, Le Cheng stood up. It wasn’t particularly numb anymore, and he couldn’t help stamping his feet.

By the light of the moon, he finally saw Zhou Shirui’s face clearly. They had only gone one day without seeing each other, yet he had the strange feeling that an entire lifetime had passed.

Without saying a word, Zhou Shirui handed him the computer bag. Le Cheng reached out to take it, and unintentionally, his fingers brushed against Zhou Shirui’s. It was too dark to see clearly, but it seemed like there was a scrape.

A slightly cool touch. Was he cold?

His fingertips curled inward. Le Cheng saw Zhou Shirui unconsciously clench his fist and couldn’t help taking a step forward. “Zhou Shirui, you…”

Zhou Shirui looked at him expressionlessly. He didn’t move or speak. After a few seconds, he turned around, as if he intended to leave directly. For some inexplicable reason, Le Cheng really wanted to hug him at that moment. He remembered what Zhou Shirui smelled like, what his temperature felt like, but right now, Zhou Shirui’s presence was too intimidating, and he didn’t dare.

“Zhou Shirui.” Le Cheng hurriedly spoke. “Were you going to tell me something?”

Tell him what?

Zhou Shirui finally turned his face to the side, his gaze falling on Le Cheng’s clear, beautiful cheeks and bright eyes, exactly as they had always been.

What was he supposed to say? Was he supposed to drag out all the ugly truths, lay them out before him, demand answers, have a heated argument until even the last shred of dignity could no longer be maintained?

Use the most humiliating words possible to provoke him?

Then would Le Cheng cry?

If he saw Le Cheng’s tears, would he really be able to bear not wiping them away?

“No.” After a long silence, it felt as though hot oil were burning inside his chest. Zhou Shirui clenched his palm and said in an extremely calm voice, “Go back.”

“Then what about us?” Le Cheng was certain that he had already made himself extremely clear. He had explained it three times. Zhou Shirui was so smart that he naturally understood what he meant, but he still couldn’t help asking, “Us… can we really only be like this?”

Zhou Shirui: “Like what?”

“Not speaking, not knowing each other, going back to how things were before. Like that.” Le Cheng’s voice was very soft.

Zhou Shirui seemed to stare deeply at him, then nodded. “Mm.”

All right.

His heart felt as though it had been pulled apart, leaving him with a hollow feeling. Le Cheng lowered his eyelashes, but just as Zhou Shirui turned to leave, he spoke again. “Your hand.”

Zhou Shirui paused. Le Cheng walked in front of him and repeated himself. “Your hand.”

Zhou Shirui looked at him without any reaction.

Le Cheng inexplicably didn’t want to be watched by that gaze. He fished out a Band-Aid he had casually tossed into his pocket, then stepped slightly forward and placed it in Zhou Shirui’s uninjured hand.

The contact between his fingertips and palm was fleeting.

Le Cheng didn’t look up. He pressed his lips together. “You… remember to change it.”

It was as if someone had inexplicably clenched his heart. The chamber that should have been tightly locked and cold as stone melted with ease, giving rise to an unending throbbing and pain. Le Cheng turned and left. His footsteps were light, but the sound reverberated against his eardrums like the howling of the wind. Zhou Shirui couldn’t control himself as he wanted to raise his hand, his brows tightly furrowed.

But in the end, he didn’t. He didn’t even catch so much as a sleeve.

***

Le Cheng had been listless for three days.

He felt as though he was really going through a breakup, a sense of loss stirring up so much pain that his head buzzed.

Tan Xiaobai brought food back for him, then announced loudly like a chief eunuch, “Time to eat—”

Le Cheng climbed down from the bed without much emotion. He hadn’t turned on his computer for the past two days. He didn’t want to draw, didn’t want to move. It was as if he was afraid that seeing anything would bring back memories. This was the computer Zhou Shirui had fixed for him, and he selectively didn’t want to look at it.

Le Cheng weakly said, “Thanks, Xiaobai,” then pulled open the takeout container and ate bite by bite.

“The weather is really nice today. It’s not even raining outside anymore.” Tan Xiaobai looked at him. “Don’t you think you should go out for a walk?”

“No energy.” Le Cheng shook his head and stuffed food into his mouth. “I feel all soft and weak. I can’t muster up any energy at all.”

“What’s wrong?” Tan Xiaobai asked somewhat worriedly. “You’ve been so listless these past few days. Don’t tell me you broke up and Zhou Shirui sucked your soul away too?”

It was originally meant as a joke. Le Cheng raised his eyes, and Tan Xiaobai saw his dark eyes. After looking at each other for two seconds, he realized something was wrong. Why did he bring that up at a time like this? “Aiya, I was just joking…”

“Maybe.” Le Cheng suddenly said seriously.

Tan Xiaobai was a little surprised. “What?”

“Maybe.” Le Cheng repeated softly. He lowered his head and looked at the food in front of him, unable to stop himself from thinking sadly that back then, when Tan Xiaobai said he didn’t know whether Zhou Shirui liked him or not, he himself didn’t know either. But this sadness, lingering endlessly like the plum rains, made him realize that perhaps his feelings for Zhou Shirui weren’t completely nonexistent.

“I said the wrong thing. Don’t think about it anymore.” Tan Xiaobai glanced at the corners of his downturned lips. “Isn’t it just a breakup? I think you just haven’t gotten enough sunlight for too long. You need to replenish your energy, replenish your calcium! How about this? The club has an activity this afternoon. We just recruited some new members. Come hang out for a bit. It’ll count as relaxing and lifting your spirits, okay?”

Knowing that Tan Xiaobai meant well, Le Cheng could only nod. “Okay.”

“That’s more like it.” Tan Xiaobai said, “Since you miss him so much, maybe you’ll even run into him on the way.”

Le Cheng lightly furrowed his brows. “I don’t…”

Tan Xiaobai looked helpless. “Alright, you don’t need to say something like you don’t miss him. You just broke up. It’s normal to miss your ex. To put it bluntly, it’s a withdrawal reaction, like quitting smoking. Just tough it out for a few days and it’ll pass.”

Le Cheng nodded.

“But…” Tan Xiaobai still couldn’t help being curious. “You miss him so much, and you were the one who suggested breaking up. It’s not like you’re someone who can’t open your mouth, so why can’t you try taking the initiative to suggest getting back together?”

Le Cheng’s eyelashes trembled. He said a little sadly, “Actually, I did. I also… tested the waters and asked.”

Tan Xiaobai was somewhat surprised. “How did you ask?”

“I asked him whether the two of us could really only be like this.” Le Cheng said honestly. “And then he said yes.”

Le Cheng said, “Wasn’t that him politely rejecting me?”

Tan Xiaobai sighed. “Alright, then don’t think about it anymore. Let’s go out and have some fun, get your mind off things.”

After eating, Le Cheng tidied himself up and followed behind Tan Xiaobai as they left the dormitory.

It had just rained, and the air was very fresh. Le Cheng sniffed, and his entire body felt comfortably intoxicated by the oxygen.

It really did help ease his mood quite a bit.

They slowly wandered all the way to the club. Le Cheng stood at the door for a while, looking out the window, feeling an indescribable sense of disappointment. He actually hadn’t held much hope to begin with, but when he really didn’t run into him, he was still a little unhappy.

This mood that repeatedly came and went like overcast rain.

Some time ago, taking advantage of the lingering excitement from the cultural festival, Xu Yuan had seized the opportunity to recruit new members again.

But the club itself wasn’t very popular, and in total, they had only recruited two people, one boy and one girl.

Le Cheng greeted them, then sat to the side with his phone. He was much quieter than usual.

Tan Xiaobai gave Xu Yuan a look.

Xu Yuan received the signal and immediately understood.

“Ahem, these are all your senior brothers and sisters,” Xu Yuan said with a smile, putting an arm around one of the boys. “From now on, we’re all one family. We gathered together today to meet everyone. It’s convenient, after all, you can count the number of people in our club on one hand.”

The newly recruited girl asked curiously, “Then who’s the master?”

“Little Chu, come on,” Xu Yuan clapped his hands. “Make an appearance!”

“Get lost.” Chu Yao was organizing yarn and had no time to pay attention to him. “Who’s Little Chu? Who’s Little Chu with you?”

“See, you’re all carrying on the legacy of your Senior Sister Chu Yao.” Xu Yuan was thick-skinned. Being scolded a couple of times was like nothing to him. “But there’s something I have to say upfront. You can inherit the skills, but you can’t inherit the temper.”

Chu Yao turned her head and raised her leg to kick him.

Xu Yuan let out an “Aow!” and jumped far away. As he ran, he shouted, “Guards!! Guards!! There’s a criminal assaulting the club president!! Guards, protect me!!”

Chu Yao shouted, “Nobody stop me!!”

This cheerful, chaotic scene made Le Cheng unconsciously curl his lips into a smile as well.

The atmosphere was good, and everyone was talkative, so Le Cheng quickly became familiar with them.

The new boy was called Zhuo Qingyuan, and the girl was called Sun Yiqing. Both had lively personalities.

“Hey, since everyone’s free anyway,” Zhuo Qingyuan suggested, “why don’t we go out for a meal?”

“Sure.” Chu Yao said. “Where should we eat?”

“Hot pot. I haven’t had it in a long time.” Zhuo Qingyuan said. “I’ll treat everyone. How about it?”

Le Cheng inexplicably froze.

“Alright!” The others all readily agreed.

The group set off in a grand procession, taking taxis to eat hot pot.

Le Cheng sat there waiting for the dishes to arrive, chatting with everyone absentmindedly. Tan Xiaobai asked him, “Le Cheng, what kind of dipping sauce do you eat? I’ll mix you a bowl and bring it over.”

Le Cheng paused. Only then did he belatedly realize that this time, no one was going to mix him a sesame paste dipping sauce.

“It’s okay, I’ll mix my own,” he said.

With his worries hidden away, he went to mix the usual oil-based dipping sauce he ate. Le Cheng took a bite and felt that the taste was off.

He obviously used to eat it often, too.

Why hadn’t he thought to ask clearly before they broke up?

Well, this was just great. No boyfriend, no friend, and no more delicious sesame paste dipping sauce.

A devastating loss.

After finishing the meal, everyone felt stuffed. A few hundred meters ahead of the hot pot restaurant was a large square. It was spring, the perfect time to fly kites, so they headed over to the square and rented a kite each.

Le Cheng hadn’t flown a kite in a long time. After several attempts, he still couldn’t get it into the air. Zhuo Qingyuan enthusiastically ran over to him. “I’ll do it, I’ll do it. I’m really good at this.”

“Little Zhuozi, you’re being way too attentive!” Xu Yuan said. “Tell me, have you fallen for our Chengcheng’s good looks?”

Zhuo Qingyuan laughed twice. “You can’t say that. We’d be competing for the same role. If my boyfriend heard that, wouldn’t he be jealous to death?”

“Huh?” There was quite a lot of information in that statement. Le Cheng was a little confused, so Xu Yuan explained, “He has a boyfriend. His boyfriend looks like a little puppy. At first, I even got them mixed up.”

“Oh, oh, I see.” Le Cheng understood. His relationship with Zhou Shirui had previously been common knowledge, so according to certain classifications…

Le Cheng looked at Zhuo Qingyuan. Zhuo Qingyuan was even a little taller than him, with long, narrow eyes and barely noticeable double eyelids. When he looked at people, he seemed very affectionate.

Le Cheng casually asked, “How tall are you?”

Zhuo Qingyuan said, “185.5.”

Good lord, even the decimal point was that precise. Le Cheng couldn’t help but laugh.

Zhou Shirui was even taller than Zhuo Qingyuan.

The thought suddenly popped into his mind. Le Cheng fell silent for a moment before quietly taking back the kite.

As the kites drifted higher and higher, everyone stared into the sky and continuously adjusted their positions according to the height. The group quickly scattered. Le Cheng was about to step onto the lawn when he realized something was wrong and quickly moved away.

“D*mn, Zhuo Qingyuan, you’re flying it way too high!”

Chu Yao exclaimed. Hearing her, Le Cheng turned his head to look as well, and caught Zhou Shirui’s gaze head-on, who had arrived at some point.

“Thump.”

His heart seemed to beat slowly once.

Zhou Shirui’s expression was very indifferent, almost blank. Thin lenses separated his eyes from view, his lips were pressed into a straight line, and he wore a simple black jacket and long pants, one hand tucked into his pocket as he gazed over from afar.

Le Cheng’s heart suddenly pounded twice. Zhou Shirui wasn’t particularly close to him, but at this distance, they could still clearly see each other’s expressions.

Zhou Shirui was the first to look away.

Le Cheng seemed to be nailed in place. He quickly realized that Zhou Shirui hadn’t come alone. Several strange-looking machines were flying in the sky, and there were a few familiar faces among that group. They were probably from the robotics club.

Had they made something new and come here to test-fly it?

What a coincidence.

The sound carried exceptionally well across the open square, and Le Cheng could even hear the voices of the people over there. Le Cheng lowered his head and tugged at Tan Xiaobai.

“I want to leave,” he said.

“Huh?” Tan Xiaobai asked, puzzled. “Why do you want to leave?”

Le Cheng lowered his voice. “Zhou Shirui… Zhou Shirui is across from us.”

“What!” Tan Xiaobai immediately lowered his voice as well. “Zhou Shirui? Your ex-boyfriend?”

“Mm.” Le Cheng nodded.

“What are you being scared of? Didn’t you want to see him before?” Tan Xiaobai found it strange.

Wanting to see him was one thing. Actually seeing him was another thing entirely. Le Cheng shook his head and was just about to speak when Zhuo Qingyuan suddenly leaned over. “What? What new boyfriend?”

“No, no.” Like a cat whose fur had been ruffled, Le Cheng immediately said, “Shh, keep it down, keep your voice down!”

“What’s going on?” Zhuo Qingyuan raised a hand and helped Le Cheng adjust the direction of his kite. “Why are you suddenly being so sneaky? What gossip are you talking about? Let me hear it too.”

Tan Xiaobai said, “His ex-boyfriend is over there.”

“Where?” Zhuo Qingyuan looked over and narrowed his eyes slightly. “I’m not wearing my glasses today, so I can’t see clearly.”

Le Cheng was confused. “You’re nearsighted and you’re not wearing glasses?”

“Looking handsome is more important.” Zhuo Qingyuan grinned at him.

Le Cheng was truly speechless. The tension he had felt earlier eased considerably, and he couldn’t help but laugh too. “Alright.”

When he smiled, his bright eyes curved slightly like crescents, adorable and radiant.

It seemed like it had been a long time since he had seen Le Cheng smile.

But it wasn’t for him. With one hand in his pocket, Zhou Shirui thought expressionlessly.

He could recognize everyone around Le Cheng whom he had met before, but the person standing in front of Le Cheng at that moment, the one who had just turned his head, narrowed his eyes, and provocatively looked in his direction, was someone he had never seen before.

Boyfriend? This word wasn’t unfamiliar. What did it mean? Was that Le Cheng’s new boyfriend?

Or a suitor?

His glasses had the correct prescription, and he could see very clearly. The two of them were standing quite close. That man was decently tall, but his face was ordinary. He wasn’t a good match for Le Cheng.

Even if Le Cheng had lied to him, could he really find a new boyfriend so quickly?

He couldn’t help but think darkly that even if he was a new boyfriend, Le Cheng probably didn’t like him that much. They hadn’t held hands or made any intimate physical contact. They had only shaken hands, and in the past ten minutes, Le Cheng had only smiled at that person for three seconds.

He had clearly already decided to let go, but when he truly saw another man by Le Cheng’s side, an immensely destructive emotion crashed into his chest, madly squeezing his rationality as if it were about to explode, rampaging through his mind as though constantly urging him.

Grab him.

Bring him back to his side.

His expression was terribly gloomy. The dark emotions he had finally managed to calm over the past three days were easily stirred up again, as if they were about to set him ablaze.

Le Cheng put down his kite and turned to Tan Xiaobai. “Xiaobai, help me return this. I want to go to the restroom.”

“Sure.” Tan Xiaobai said. “Then are we leaving after you come back?”

“Mm.” Le Cheng nodded.

The restroom was quite far from where they were. Le Cheng walked over quickly. It wasn’t that he was in a hurry, but seeing Zhou Shirui made him feel an indescribable sense of dejection, and he wanted to go back sooner.

The public restroom must have cost a fortune to build. It was very large, even more luxurious than the ones at their school. Le Cheng walked in. It wasn’t rush hour or the time when people got off work or school, so there was no one inside. The air carried the scent of air freshener from a recent cleaning.

Le Cheng counted the stalls and was just about to open the middle door when the back of his neck was suddenly tugged, 

Someone had hooked a finger into the hood of his hoodie! 

Immediately afterward, his shoulder was forcefully gripped. Startled, he turned his head and saw Zhou Shirui’s indifferent face.

Expressionlessly, Zhou Shirui gripped his shoulder and directly spun him around. He led him to the last stall, pulled open the door, shoved him straight inside, and with a “Bang!” locked the door behind them.

Everything happened too quickly. Le Cheng’s heart pounded wildly. He widened his eyes, unable to make sense of the situation. “Z-Zhou Shirui…”

The last stall was an empty space specifically used to store cleaning supplies. At the moment, there was only a mop inside. The space wasn’t particularly cramped, but with two people standing inside, it still felt crowded. The veins on the hand gripping his right shoulder stood out. Le Cheng instinctively tried to dodge, but Zhou Shirui raised his hand, completely trapping him.

They were too close. He could practically smell the faint scent of soapberry on Zhou Shirui’s body. Le Cheng’s mind went blank. “Y-you, how did you…”

But Zhou Shirui gave him no chance to ask. With one hand, he gripped the back of his neck and suddenly pulled him closer. The abruptly shortened distance brought them almost nose to nose. His dark eyes lowered as he looked down at him. There was no expression on his face as he slowly spoke. “The one outside, is he your new boyfriend?”

“What?” Le Cheng paused slightly.

“Your taste has gotten worse.” Zhou Shirui said flatly.

“You…” Le Cheng sensed that something was wrong. “Mmph…!”

But Zhou Shirui suddenly raised his hand and caught his chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing him to close his mouth. Then, Le Cheng watched as Zhou Shirui slowly lowered his head, the tip of his nose gradually brushing past his cheek. His dark eyes stared directly at him, his voice seeming to lick at the edge of his ear like a snake’s tongue. “What?”

Zhou Shirui’s voice was very low. “Do you like Plato* with him too?”
* being in a platonic relationship