Shoutout to Kari for the commission!
From a certain perspective, the request to “love me the most” was truly too excessive. In a person’s life, familial love, friendship… and so on were all indispensable.
Although Zhou Shirui knew that Le Cheng possessed many things, whether innate or acquired, whether it was his personality, appearance, or abilities, all of them drew others to love him. Le Cheng seemed to have a great deal of love, and he also loved a great many people. Zhou Shirui had come later than everyone else, but he still wanted to be the most special.
This swelling desire forced him to say something so excessively greedy.
Yet he continued staring into Le Cheng’s eyes, observing every subtle change in his expression, with absolutely no intention of taking his words back.
Le Cheng’s heart pounded under his gaze, but strangely, he did not feel that there was anything wrong with it. Instead, he nodded. “Okay, I’ll do that every day… Every day, I’ll love you a little more.”
Zhou Shirui was somewhat surprised. Immediately afterward, Le Cheng did something else that surprised him. Le Cheng seriously said to him, “Then you have to do the same.”
It seemed that it was not only Zhou Shirui who desperately wanted to hold on to Le Cheng. Le Cheng also wanted to hold on to him.
It was such a powerful and strange feeling. The missing part deep inside him seemed to slowly be filled in. Zhou Shirui’s mood strangely lifted, and he slowly nodded. “Okay.”
“Then let’s make a pinky promise.” Le Cheng said. “No taking it back.”
This somewhat childish gesture was not the first time Le Cheng had done it. At this moment, he said it without blushing or his heart skipping a beat, even urging Zhou Shirui, “Hurry up and give me your hand.”
Zhou Shirui did as he was told, hooking his little finger with Le Cheng’s. “Pinky promise.”
Le Cheng shook their fingers. “For a hundred years, no changing.”
Zhou Shirui was somewhat dissatisfied with this hundred years. But he had already made one excessive request, so it was not appropriate to push his luck any further. He merely nodded. “Mm.”
After saying goodbye to Zhou Shirui, Le Cheng slowly walked back to the dormitory by himself.
He felt that it was urgent for him to have a proper talk with Zhou Shirui, but over the next few days, Zhou Shirui did not become more relaxed as he had hoped.
He was still very busy, and Le Cheng himself was not having an easy time either.
Finals were approaching. After the lesson of frantically rushing to catch up at the end of the previous term, this time, Le Cheng decided to start reviewing a month in advance.
After using his computer again, he began accepting commissions. In his spare time, he would work on illustrations while studying.
After that day, Le Cheng thought about it and decided to hide the videos he had previously made public again.
After thinking it over, he decided that rather than living in fear of the social embarrassment that might come at any time, it would be better to face the problem directly and find a time to tell Zhou Shirui in person.
On Saturday, the game had a version update, and Zhou Shirui finally had some free time.
Le Cheng knew that he had stayed up for nearly the entire night, so he did not make him come back. Instead, he took a taxi to the studio.
He had been there many times before and was already quite familiar with the way. Zhou Shirui had even given him a key. When he arrived, Le Cheng was afraid they might still be working, so he did not knock. He simply took out his key and opened the door himself.
The moment the door opened, everyone inside turned to look.
Unlike what Le Cheng had expected, there were only three people. Besides Zhou Shirui, there were only Wei Fangyuan and Qian Lin.
“Eh? Le Cheng’s here.” Wei Fangyuan was the first to greet him.
Le Cheng smiled at him. “Mm. Have you guys eaten yet?”
“Not yet,” Wei Fangyuan said. “He was just saying he was hungry. Since you’re here, why don’t we go eat together?”
As soon as he finished speaking, he felt Qian Lin suddenly step on his foot beside him.
Le Cheng walked over to Zhou Shirui. Zhou Shirui naturally held out his hand, and Le Cheng took hold of his fingertips. Then he heard Qian Lin say, “No need. The two of us still have to go back to school. You guys go eat.”
Wei Fangyuan looked at the two of them, who hadn’t said a single word but somehow carried an unmistakably lovey-dovey atmosphere around them, and instantly understood. “…Oh, oh, oh, right. We do have to go back to school. Anyway, we’re done with what we came to do, so we’ll head out first. We’re leaving, we’re leaving!”
As he spoke, he grabbed Qian Lin and quickly walked out the door.
“Bang—”
The front door closed with a soft sound.
This was the first time Le Cheng had seen Wei Fangyuan and the others since he and Zhou Shirui had officially started dating.
Watching how hurried and unusual they were acting, Le Cheng looked at Zhou Shirui with some confusion.
Back when they were “fake dating,” when he suggested eating together, they hadn’t acted like this.
The third wheels were gone, and Zhou Shirui was in a very good mood, though not a trace of it showed on his face. “What is it?”
“I feel like…” Le Cheng thought about it seriously. “Don’t you think there’s something a little strange about them?”
Zhou Shirui asked nonchalantly, “What’s strange?”
“I don’t know…” Le Cheng couldn’t really explain it, but he suddenly remembered something. Taking advantage of the opportunity, he asked, “Before… before we cleared things up between us, did they know we were in a contract relationship?”
Zhou Shirui didn’t hide it. “Mm.”
Le Cheng wasn’t surprised either. Thinking back to when they had first met, when Zhou Shirui had been so cold and distant, as if he wished he could stay eight hundred meters away from him, he couldn’t help but laugh. “Did you find me really annoying before?”
He had thought Zhou Shirui would say yes, but Zhou Shirui shook his head. “No. I didn’t find you annoying.”
Le Cheng didn’t quite believe him. “Really?”
“At the time, I didn’t know you very well.” Zhou Shirui looked into his eyes. “And I don’t like trouble. I didn’t want to make our relationship more complicated, so I was very cold toward you.”
Le Cheng thought back for a moment. “If I didn’t annoy you, then why did you always dodge whenever I tried to hold your hand?”
Zhou Shirui paused for a moment but didn’t say anything.
Le Cheng sensed that something was off and immediately pressed his advantage, lowering his head. “Hurry up, tell me.”
Seeing that Zhou Shirui still wouldn’t open his mouth, he held his hand and gave it a little shake. “Tell me, tell me… okay? I really want to know…”
His tone was so soft that it was hard to refuse. A hint of helplessness appeared on Zhou Shirui’s face, and there was even a rare trace of shyness as he said in a deep voice, “Because… when you held my hand, my heart would start beating very fast.”
Le Cheng froze slightly. As if infected by it, the tips of his ears also turned a little red. “Really?”
“Mm.” Zhou Shirui pulled him by the hand and gently tugged him until he was sitting astride his lap. “So, at the time, I didn’t want to have physical contact with you.”
So that was it. Le Cheng finally understood. It turned out Zhou Shirui hadn’t been homophobic after all. But he still didn’t quite understand, so he asked again, “Then when did you start liking me?”
Zhou Shirui’s palm rested against his waist. After a moment of silence, he said, “Probably… when you kissed me for the first time.”
Le Cheng’s eyes widened slightly.
He had thought Zhou Shirui had started liking him quite a bit earlier than he had, but he hadn’t expected it to be that early.
For Le Cheng at the time, that kiss had been the catalyst that gave him the motivation to break up, but he had never imagined that Zhou Shirui would actually start liking him because of that kiss.
“I…” Le Cheng said, feeling both guilty and dejected, “Actually, at the time, I wanted to break up with you…”
After saying that, he instinctively leaned forward. Feeling as though he couldn’t catch his breath, he wrapped his arms around Zhou Shirui’s neck, resting his chin on his shoulder as he whispered, “I’m sorry…”
Zhou Shirui enjoyed his initiative but said, “You don’t have to be like this.”
“At the time, I wasn’t clear about my own feelings either. After you kissed me, I also thought about breaking up with you and then compensating you.” Zhou Shirui squeezed his fingers. “Don’t feel guilty about this.”
Now it was Le Cheng’s turn to be surprised. He pulled back slightly. “Really? Then… then why didn’t you break up with me?”
So it hadn’t been his imagination when he felt that Zhou Shirui was going to break up with him back then?
So he really had been just one step away from getting compensation?
Zhou Shirui didn’t want to hide it. “Because… I suddenly couldn’t bear to.”
Couldn’t bear to. Those words contained far too many meanings. Zhou Shirui had once recalled that period during his painful struggle. At first, he had thought that he simply couldn’t bear to part with Le Cheng’s excessively bright and moving love, but now, he had completely surrendered.
—-He simply couldn’t bear to part with Le Cheng.
And so, what he couldn’t bear to part with was every little bit of Le Cheng, including his love, his words, his actions, his smiling face, and their memories.
Being moved might happen in an instant, but love was not. Love needed many moments to come together.
He loved Le Cheng suddenly appearing on his birthday. He loved the embrace in the torrential rain. He loved the happy profile of his face beneath the fireworks. He even loved the pattern on the Band-Aid when they broke up.
He didn’t say these things out loud, but Le Cheng seemed to understand anyway. He lowered his head and slowly kissed the corner of his lips.
“And you?” Zhou Shirui suddenly asked seriously. “When did you start liking me?”
Compared to Zhou Shirui’s clear awareness, Le Cheng didn’t have such a distinct boundary.
He thought about it and decided to answer honestly. “Maybe much later than you.”
“Mm.” Zhou Shirui wasn’t surprised and stubbornly asked, “Then when was it?”
Le Cheng said, “Probably when… you went home to attend your birthday banquet, and I went to find you.”
Zhou Shirui froze slightly, looking somewhat surprised.
“That early?” Zhou Shirui raised his hand and pinched his chin, neither too lightly nor too hard, his expression a little cold. “Don’t lie just to make me happy.”
“No, really, I’m not.” Le Cheng became a little anxious, blinking as he said, “I won’t lie to you again. I’m not lying this time either.”
His eyes were bright and clear, and he looked so eager, wanting to prove something. Zhou Shirui chose to believe him.
“Mm, I believe you.” His mood unexpectedly improved. Perhaps even though he never said it, the unequal nature of their feelings had still been like a thorn lodged in his heart. “I believe you.”
Le Cheng buried his head in his arms again and softly said, “Then thank you for believing me.”
Zhou Shirui bounced him lightly on his leg, as if he were bouncing a child. “From now on, do more things that will make me believe you.”
Just a moment ago, he had been so righteous, not wanting Le Cheng to feel guilty about this matter, but now, he somewhat maliciously wanted to use it to ask for more from Le Cheng.
Le Cheng hurriedly wrapped his arms around him. “Don’t, don’t shake…”
After thinking about it, Le Cheng added seriously, “Mm. If I promise something, I’ll do it.”
It was actually just part of his natural personality. Le Cheng wasn’t someone who liked making promises. He was easygoing and did whatever he wanted to do. But he had keenly noticed that Zhou Shirui liked hearing him make promises.
“Okay.” Zhou Shirui nodded. “Are you hungry?”
As if on cue, Le Cheng’s stomach growled. Embarrassed, he nodded. “A little…”
“Let’s go,” Zhou Shirui said. “Let’s go eat.”
They drove to a nearby restaurant, then went to the supermarket together to buy some groceries and snacks. Sitting in the passenger seat, Le Cheng looked at Zhou Shirui.
“Are we going back to the dorm today?”
Zhou Shirui: “Do you want to go back?”
Le Cheng shook his head. “No.”
“Then where do you want to go?” Zhou Shirui asked.
He rested one hand on the steering wheel. The distinct joints of his fingers were coated by the lights outside the window with a layer of mechanical-looking light. His expression was very calm, as though he were truly asking so considerately.
“I want to go home,” Le Cheng said honestly. “I want to hold you while I sleep.”
Home.
The two words came so easily from Le Cheng’s mouth, and so easily pleased him. Zhou Shirui’s expression remained completely calm as he said, “Okay. Then we’ll go home.”
Because they were busy and couldn’t find time even on Saturdays and Sundays, they didn’t often stay out together. Including this time, it had only been three times.
Le Cheng was happy and urged him, “Then hurry, hurry!”
The car drove along the road and soon arrived at the underground parking garage.
Le Cheng entered the house and automatically started changing into slippers.
As if he had entered his own home, without the slightest hesitation, after changing his shoes, he took out the refrigerator magnets they had just bought at the supermarket from his pocket and headed straight for the kitchen, diligently sticking ten of them onto the double-door refrigerator.
The refrigerator magnets had very cute designs, all of them fluffy line-drawn puppies. Le Cheng didn’t put up the angry and sad expressions, instead choosing the happy and kissing ones.
Zhou Shirui poured a glass of water and watched without any reaction as he decorated the pitch-black refrigerator into something that looked a little childish.
Le Cheng said somewhat smugly, “This way, even when I’m not here, every time you open the refrigerator, you’ll think of me.”
Zhou Shirui handed him the water. “Mm, drink some water.”
Le Cheng took it and gulped down several mouthfuls, quite satisfied with the decoration.
Zhou Shirui still had some things to finish dealing with, so Le Cheng sat on the sofa and watched TV by himself for a while.
Notifications kept popping up on his phone. Somewhat unwillingly, Le Cheng picked it up and took a look. It was a notification from the backend.
[User Snail Sleep liked your post. Come take a look~]
Le Cheng clicked into it, and something suddenly flashed through his mind. He hesitated as he stood up.
He remembered something.
Something he had always wanted to confess, but hadn’t yet.
As for his Douyin posts, for every extra day he delayed, his courage disappeared by another fraction. Better to just go all out and confess everything today!
Le Cheng tapped the screen, making the hidden videos visible again, then quickly headed toward the study.
“My own affairs are none of your business.”
“I know very well what I’m doing.”
Before he reached the study, Le Cheng’s footsteps paused.
A faint voice. Was Zhou Shirui on the phone? Who was he talking to? His tone was so cold.
It was as though, in an instant, he had been pulled back to when he and Zhou Shirui had first met. Le Cheng hesitated. Eavesdropping on someone else’s phone call wasn’t very polite. He forcibly suppressed his curiosity and was about to turn into the room when a faint female voice reached his ears.
“Baby, Mom is doing this for your own good too.”
…Was that Zhou Shirui’s mother?
Le Cheng really couldn’t go in now. He silently stood there for a few seconds before turning around and walking back.
Zhou Shirui’s mother.
He suddenly remembered the original setting. Although Zhou Shirui wasn’t close to his mother, their relationship wasn’t all that bad either. At the very least, it was better than his relationship with his father.
And Zhou Shirui, who had initially been a straight man, now suddenly liked him.
Not all parents were open-minded. Le Cheng understood that, and he couldn’t help feeling a little worried. What if Zhou Shirui’s mother found out that her son had a boyfriend? No, judging from her tone, it felt like she already knew.
Zhou Shirui’s mother was very capable. Although there had been a lack of familial affection, she was indeed competent at work, running an international logistics business overseas. Her strength was not to be underestimated.
Based on some classic campus novel tropes… Le Cheng couldn’t help but let his imagination run wild, but his habitual trust in Zhou Shirui also made him feel that there probably wouldn’t be any problem.
Another ten minutes passed. He estimated that Zhou Shirui had definitely finished his call by then before turning around and entering the study.
Zhou Shirui was wearing glasses and was focused on typing away at the screen. When he saw Le Cheng enter, there was nothing unusual about his expression. “Bored?”
“No.” Le Cheng walked over to his side. “There’s something I want to tell you.”
Zhou Shirui reached out and held his wrist. “Mm, tell me.”
Le Cheng took the opportunity to sit on his lap. “Then after I tell you, you absolutely can’t laugh at me.”
Zhou Shirui looked at him. “I won’t laugh at you.”
“You really won’t laugh at me?”
“I won’t laugh at you.”
Le Cheng nodded. “Okay.” He nervously took out his phone. Before he even spoke, his face had already turned red. Seeing him like this, Zhou Shirui used his fingertips to pinch his soft cheek and casually said, “Your face is so red.”
“What bad thing did you do?”
“It’s not a bad thing!” Le Cheng seemed to have been hit right on the mark. He hemmed and hawed for a while, lowering his head like a cat. “Okay… it’s not a good thing either…”
“Tell me.” Zhou Shirui let go of him.
As if bravely going to his death, Le Cheng took a deep breath and handed his phone to Zhou Shirui. “Take a look!”
Zhou Shirui stared at him without saying anything. He took the phone and lowered his eyes, his gaze falling on the Douyin interface.
More precisely, it was the backend for publishing posts.
It was very ordinary. It looked the same as usual.
Le Cheng’s heartbeat quickly accelerated. His hands dropped down, and like an elementary school student who had done something wrong, he nervously grabbed at his pants. The flush spread from his fair neck to his cheeks, covering his entire body in a faint layer of pink. He didn’t dare look at Zhou Shirui’s expression.
What should I do? My toes are curling…
Time passed second by second, but there wasn’t the slightest movement above his head. Le Cheng really couldn’t stand it anymore and secretly raised his head, only to meet Zhou Shirui’s gaze.
His eyelashes fluttered quickly. “Um… well…”
Zhou Shirui handed the phone back to him.
Le Cheng blankly took it.
The two of them stared at each other.
“So…”
“Wh…”
Both of them spoke at the same time, and Le Cheng hurriedly said, “You go first!”
Zhou Shirui asked, “What is it?”
“You didn’t notice?” Le Cheng hadn’t expected that reaction. “You, you didn’t notice anything?”
“If I have to say something.” Zhou Shirui said flatly, “You have twenty-three more posts than you did a few days ago.”
Le Cheng gripped his clothes tightly. “Right, so then, did you notice anything?”
“Chengcheng made the posts about me public,” Zhou Shirui said. “Is that it?”
Having it pointed out so directly, Le Cheng felt his face grow hot. If there were a mirror at this moment, one would be able to see a tomato steaming with heat. But Zhou Shirui’s reaction made him feel strange. “How did you know? No, how are you not surprised at all?”
Zhou Shirui was silent for a moment. “You didn’t know that I knew?”
“What should I know that you know about?” Le Cheng asked from the bottom of his heart.
“You should know.” Zhou Shirui pursed his lips. “I know about this.”
The two of them seemed to be speaking in tongue twisters, and Le Cheng felt like he was about to be talked dizzy. “Wait, wait, wait…”
He stared at Zhou Shirui’s slightly furrowed brows, and suddenly thought of a possibility. “You knew about this account of mine a long time ago, didn’t you? You knew I had drawn posts about you a long time ago, didn’t you?”
Zhou Shirui nodded lightly. “…You didn’t know?”
“I didn’t know!” Le Cheng hadn’t expected to have been exposed so long ago, and so thoroughly at that. “If I had known earlier, how could I have gone out of my way to hide the posts? I was afraid you would see them…”
Le Cheng was so socially dead that he didn’t want to speak anymore. His voice grew quieter and quieter, and he simply buried his face in Zhou Shirui’s arms like an ostrich, kicking his legs around twice in embarrassment.
But Zhou Shirui heard an important piece of information. “You didn’t hide the posts because you wanted to break up with me?”
“No!” Le Cheng’s voice was muffled, and he refused to raise his head. “At the time, I thought you didn’t know. I was afraid it would be awkward, because from the very beginning, I really… really liked your body. It’s kind of an occupational habit of mine, so I wanted to secretly draw you…”
Le Cheng was still completely immersed in his social death. “Why didn’t you tell me about this… Forget it, if you had told me earlier, I probably would have been even more unable to handle it…”
He played dead in Zhou Shirui’s arms, but Zhou Shirui reached out and lifted his chin, forcing him to meet his eyes. There seemed to be a smile in his voice. “So Chengcheng didn’t know.”
Le Cheng didn’t even know what he was happy about. Then, after thinking about it, he suddenly understood. “Don’t tell me you thought I hid the posts because I wanted to break up with you?”
“Mm.” Zhou Shirui nodded. “I did think that.”
Le Cheng said, “That wasn’t what I was thinking…”
“It’s not too late to know now.” Zhou Shirui wasn’t planning to discuss this topic with him and instead casually asked, “You thought I had a good body from the very beginning?”
“Mm…” Le Cheng was choked up by the truth he had accidentally let slip. His eyelashes fluttered wildly as he stammered, “Y-yes… That’s right…”
“So you really wanted to touch me back then.” Zhou Shirui lowered his eyelashes to look at him. “You really wanted to touch me, right?”
Le Cheng felt so embarrassed under his gaze, but then thought, What was there to be embarrassed about with his own boyfriend? He nodded vigorously and said, even though his reasoning wasn’t sound, “Y-yes!”
“Do you still want to touch me now?” Zhou Shirui asked in a flat tone.
Saying something like that so seriously really created a huge contrast, making Le Cheng feel very embarrassed. He even wanted to get off his lap, but he really did want to touch him, so after hesitating for a moment, he asked, “…Can I touch you later?”
“Why?” Zhou Shirui asked.
“You’re still working.” Le Cheng said seriously. “It’s not worth it. Once you’re asleep, I can touch you for as long as I want, however I want.”
So confident and justified. Zhou Shirui was amused by his serious expression, the corners of his lips lifting slightly. “Okay, then touch me later.”
Not wanting to disturb Zhou Shirui while he worked, after dinner, just before they went to sleep, Zhou Shirui suddenly answered another phone call. Le Cheng suddenly thought of Zhou Shirui’s mother and couldn’t help following him. Zhou Shirui hung up very quickly, and Le Cheng didn’t hear what was said. Walking up to him, Le Cheng hesitated for a moment before speaking. “Zhou Shirui.”
“Mm?”
Le Cheng knew that Zhou Shirui might not want him to overthink things, but he still poked his chest muscle and said, “Your mother.”
Zhou Shirui reacted quickly. “You heard?”
“Yes.” Le Cheng didn’t want to hide it. “I heard. Was your mother asking you about us? If she doesn’t agree…”
“It has nothing to do with her.” Zhou Shirui said directly. “I don’t need her approval.”
Le Cheng raised his eyes to look at him.
“Being with you doesn’t require anyone’s approval.” Zhou Shirui reached up to touch his cheek, lowering his head slightly and pressing his forehead against Le Cheng’s. “You don’t need to think about this.”
“I’m with you,” Zhou Shirui said. “I only need your approval.”
Very simple words, containing his stance and dispelling all doubts.
Le Cheng smiled, his eyes curving. “Okay, I understand.”
The corners of his eyes lifted, the full moon turning into a crescent. The sight of him like this made one’s heart itch. Zhou Shirui’s Adam’s apple bobbed, and he supported Le Cheng’s butt as he picked him up. Le Cheng consciously wrapped his arms around his neck. “Zhou Shirui, summer vacation is almost here.”
There were only about ten days left.
“I know. Do you want to go out and have fun during the break?”
“That’s not what I mean.” Carried in his arms as they walked, Le Cheng twisted a little in dissatisfaction. “Do you even understand?”
Zhou Shirui let out a soft hiss, his voice deepening slightly. “Don’t wiggle.”
“I’m going to wiggle.” Le Cheng was fooling around with him and wasn’t afraid of falling. “I’m going to wiggle. You’re not listening to me!”
Zhou Shirui furrowed his brows and stopped, bouncing him a little. Le Cheng wanted to laugh from being bounced, but he wasn’t afraid of this trick. Laughing and struggling at the same time, his calves swung back and forth. Then, all of a sudden, he realized something.
When he suddenly stopped moving, Zhou Shirui was looking at him expressionlessly, his tone very cold. “Why did you stop wiggling?”
This wasn’t the first time something had happened whenever they became a little intimate. Le Cheng’s cheeks slowly turned red, and he couldn’t speak very smoothly. “I just… don’t really feel like wiggling anymore.”
Still trying to argue.
Zhou Shirui ignored him and was about to put him down, but Le Cheng suddenly called out to him, “Don’t, don’t put me down.”
Le Cheng looked at him with his bright, wide eyes and slowly said, “Actually, actually, I can help you…”
He felt that Zhou Shirui had been holding it in rather painfully. He also didn’t quite understand why he had to hold it in.
Zhou Shirui’s expression didn’t change. “Help me with what? How will you help me?”
His tone was even somewhat aggressive. Le Cheng said softly, “Just… help you.”
Zhou Shirui silently stared at him for two seconds and actually seemed to smile. “Okay. Do you know what I want to do?”
His current state made Le Cheng feel a little timid again, but he still said honestly, “Anything is fine, I…”
“Smack!”
A crisp, decisive slap landed on his butt, making Le Cheng’s entire body tremble like a startled bird. He widened his eyes in disbelief, a misty layer appearing in them. From his neck to his cheeks, he instantly turned red, his voice trembling as he said, “Y-you…”
“What is it?” Zhou Shirui said calmly, as though nothing had happened. “Didn’t you say anything was fine?”
“Then I want to do this.” Zhou Shirui stared at him. “Is doing this okay too?”
He looked so completely justified that Le Cheng seemed to have been stunned by the slap, trembling as he said, “T-too bad… How, how can you hit…”
“So this is bad.” Zhou Shirui’s voice remained cool, but he gave a soft laugh and asked in a hoarse voice, “There are worse things. Chengcheng. Want to try?”
