Chapter 59: “Follow me.”
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His heart suddenly started pounding, and his ears were filled with noise. Guan Shu lost all senses, only able to perceive the gentle touch of cool fingertips on his cheek, softly caressing him with utmost tenderness.
For some reason, the surging emotions came to an abrupt halt, and the mouthful of accusations dissipated into thin air. Even though he had convinced himself that Shen Yao had betrayed him, even though he believed that Shen Yao had cheated on him multiple times, and even though he had grown to hate Shen Yao with all his being…
But…
“What?!”
Guan Shu grabbed hold of Shen Yao’s arm in a frenzy, staring at him with a dazed expression. With wide-open eyes, he desperately tried to find something on Shen Yao’s beautiful and delicate face. He saw a hint of sorrow, as if a long sigh had escaped from him.
He lost his voice, and after a long, long time, Guan Shu’s voice became hoarse, unfamiliar even to himself: “What truth…?”
When Shen Yao looked at Guan Shu, he had to tilt his face slightly upward, his palm still against Guan Shu’s cheek. After their last contact, he spoke softly:
“Guan Shu, I don’t understand. Why do you always refuse to listen to my explanations? It was the same back then, and it was the same when you held the gun against my head just now.”
An unexplainable panic engulfed Guan Shu as he recalled the moment when he held the gun against Shen Yao’s head. In that moment, he truly wanted to die together with Shen Yao, selfishly hoping that death would keep Shen Yao by his side.
Without knowing what Shen Yao was about to say, Guan Shu was instantly consumed by emptiness. His grip on the gun gradually loosened, and it fell heavily to the ground, abandoning all defenses.
“From where do you want to start hearing?”
However, Guan Shu lost his voice. His trembling lips moved, but not a single sound came out.
Without receiving an answer, Shen Yao calmly spoke to himself: “Then let’s start from when you overheard the conversation between me and Shen Shenmian outside the classroom, shall we? It’s true that there was some connection between me getting close to you and him liking you, but it was just a small connection.”
“As for him saying that I was flirting with other alphas, do you think that’s possible?” Shen Yao chuckled lightly, a hint of pride naturally appearing on his face. “Usually, it’s other alphas who come after me, right? What he saw was just that scene.”
Guan Shu could no longer perceive any other emotions. All the wounds on his body seemed to turn into hollows, depriving him of air.
A sea of blood appeared before his eyes, and amidst the roaring sound, he forgot where he was. The only thing he could see clearly was Shen Yao’s face, and the only thing he could hear was Shen Yao’s voice.
“You misunderstood one thing.”
“Yan Zhixing was never my adulterous lover. The first time between me and Yan Zhixing was a disgusting accident, not my willingness.”
Shen Yao’s hand, which belonged on Guan Shu’s cheek, slowly slid away, as if the last thing supporting Guan Shu had collapsed. He stood in place, lost and swaying, his figure trembling.
He vaguely guessed what had happened, and his chest started heaving heavily. He had prayed countless times to get an explanation from Shen Yao, but now, in this moment, all he wanted was to go back in time and give himself a slap.
“Back then, when I was alone outside, Yan Zhixing, who was in his susceptible period, forcibly dragged me into the room,” Shen Yao stared at him and continued, “I was terrified, but I still managed to smash a vase over his head and escape. But I was still scared, so scared that I even forgot to call the police.”
“I ran all the way back, stumbling multiple times along the way. Guan Shu, I felt so uncomfortable and scared that all I wanted was to go home and take a hot bath.”
“But then I met you at the doorstep, and what did you do to me?”
What did he do?
Guan Shu questioned himself. He didn’t trust Shen Yao right away, he didn’t ask him why he came back like that, and he didn’t hold him and comfort him, letting him know that he didn’t have to be afraid anymore.
He dragged Shen Yao into the bathtub, disregarding his panicked expression, and covered his lips, not listening to a single explanation.
He violated the already frightened Shen Yao once again, causing further harm.
“You only smelled the pheromones on me, only saw the marks and hickies on my neck. It seems like you didn’t pay any attention to my expression at that moment.”
“I wanted to explain, but you didn’t listen at all because you had already convinced yourself that I betrayed you, didn’t you?”
Guan Shu’s mind went blank, overwhelmed by a painful sense of regret that seemed to engulf his entire being.
“I…”
He finally regained his voice, but after struggling to utter a single word, Guan Shu started coughing violently. He covered his lips with his hand, coughing up nothing but bright red blood.
Shen Yao didn’t do anything wrong to him… he didn’t… everything was just his own mistaken assumption.
The truth he had believed to be true turned out to be an illusion, and the real truth was within his grasp, but he had willingly smothered it with his own hands.
In his state of confusion, Guan Shu had said many hurtful things to Shen Yao. He called him promiscuous, he called him cheap.
How did Shen Yao feel every time he heard those hurtful words?!
“Don’t hate me, you should hate Yan Zhixing instead.”
Shen Yao abandoned all tactful language and spoke in the most crude and straightforward manner, under the gaze of the two alphas:
“I didn’t cheat on you. It was Yan Zhixing who raped me. He’s a rapist, did you know?”
This sentence ignited a nerve in Guan Shu, instantly halting the tears about to fall. His eye sockets seemed bloodshot, and his lips moved unconsciously as he muttered to himself, as if in a trance:
“I want to kill him…”
Guan Shu abruptly bent down and picked up the gun from the ground.
“Click—”
He reloaded the magazine, swiftly chambered a round, turned around, and aimed. Guan Shu completed this series of actions within a second, impulsive and without any warning, denying anyone a chance to react.
“Bang!”
The bullet whistled through the air, hitting Yan Zhixing’s thigh dead center. He didn’t scream, only let out a muffled sound as blood gushed out from the gunshot wound.
Cold sweat dripped from his forehead, and Yan Zhixing had heard everything clearly just now. He heard Shen Yao calling him disgusting, heard Shen Yao calling him a rapist.
Guan Shu had completely lost control, and the scent of Marjoram filled the air, wild and untamed. His marksmanship was always accurate, but this time, he didn’t aim deliberately because…
From the very beginning, Guan Shu wasn’t planning to give Yan Zhixing just one shot.
“Click-Clack.”
The continuous sound of reloading echoed at the fastest speed, with almost no gap in between. Just as Guan Shu’s finger was about to pull the trigger, a voice from behind interrupted him—it was Shen Yao’s voice.
“Guan Shu, do you want to kill Yan Zhixing and then go to prison to die yourself?”
Guan Shu turned his face, his Adam’s apple rolled in a tight knot, and he spoke with utmost cruelty, “He deserves to die.”
Because of this misunderstanding, Shen Yao had endured a lot of hurt from him, but he never explained anything. He even deliberately mentioned the so-called “cheating lover” to provoke and anger him.
As if it were true.
Shen Yao had saved the truth from four years ago until now, only to seek revenge, to make him regret to the extreme. He knew that Guan Shu didn’t care about anything else, he only cared about him. This revenge method of hurting the enemy even at the cost of self-destruction was something only Shen Yao could do.
But he had indeed succeeded. He had successfully made Guan Shu regret to the point of wanting to kill his past self.
The one final thing he could do for Shen Yao was to kill Yan Zhixing for him.
Because he knew that Shen Yao must hate Yan Zhixing with a vengeance.
“I don’t want you to die.” Shen Yao issued a cold command, “Guan Shu, put the gun down.”
With just one sentence, he could make Guan Shu disarm. Guan Shu stood there, breathing heavily, and the gun in his hand fell to the ground again, making a “bang” sound as it hit the floor.
Guan Shu didn’t care at all about Yan Zhixing’s life or death. In an instant, he took several steps forward and then suddenly embraced Shen Yao, his strength causing Shen Yao to stumble back several steps.
He was much taller than Shen Yao but he hunched over to hold him. Guan Shu’s tears couldn’t be stopped anymore, carrying all the regret, they fell from the corners of his eyes.
With a trembling voice, Guan Shu asked, “Shen Yao, do you hate me?”
“Why are you crying again?” Shen Yao sighed as if a little helpless. He couldn’t see Guan Shu’s face, but because he knew him so well, his hand accurately wiped away the tears. “I don’t hate you.”
Letting Guan Shu learn the truth in this situation was the result of his carefully calculated plan. He had already completed his revenge, successfully ensuring that Guan Shu would never forget him in this lifetime, and that he would always be emotionally affected by him.
Why would he still hate Guan Shu?
As if afraid that Shen Yao would run away, Guan Shu held him tighter and tighter. He didn’t have the courage to ask again, to ask if Shen Yao loved him.
“I just hope that when you see me getting closer to other alphas, you won’t get stimulated or angry because this is what you brought upon yourself.”
“Because it’s all your fault. If you had been a bit calmer at that time and listened to my explanation, wouldn’t we be fine now?”
The doors to the hall opened again, and amidst Chen Shuang’s exclamation, the doctor swiftly rushed towards Yan Zhixing, anxiously providing him with emergency aid.
Guan Shu’s gaze was fixed on the open door. Among a group of bodyguards, there stood an alpha with a tall and graceful figure. He coldly raised his eyes to look at the chaotic scene in the hall, as if he was detached from it all.
Xu Yibai was also dressed in a white suit, with a delicate flower pinned to his chest. His injured right hand was wrapped in several layers of gauze, its condition unknown.
Compared to Yan Zhixing, Xu Yibai made Guan Shu ten thousand times more alert. His possessiveness towards Shen Yao was uncontrollable, and instinctively, Guan Shu wrapped Shen Yao’s entire person in his embrace, preventing him from making eye contact with Xu Yibai.
However, Shen Yao reached out to touch Guan Shu’s shoulder, as if trying to push him away:
“Guan Shu, let me tell you something else. Do you know where I was raped by Yan Zhixing? It was at Youlan Pavilion, a familiar place, right? After our first breakup, you used to go there every day to drown yourself in alcohol. Not only that, you would send me a lot of messages and make many phone calls.”
Guan Shu froze, and the last teardrop stopped on his eyelashes.
“Later, I felt that some things needed to be clarified.” Shen Yao used his finger to wipe away his tear, lightly tossing out a heavy bombshell. “That day, I was raped by Yan Zhixing because I went to find you.”
“Shen Yao…”
Guan Shu felt everything spinning around him, realizing that it was all his own fault. He didn’t even have the strength to hold onto Shen Yao and was easily pushed away. Yet, his arms unconsciously remained in the position of an embrace.
“Guan Shu.” Shen Yao composed all the expressions on his face and looked at Guan Shu quietly. “On that day, someone told me that you were smoking in an alley, so I went there. When I was being violated by Yan Zhixing, I heard your voice. I wanted to shout your name for help, but he covered my mouth.”
“You passed by that room, and even saw the door closing in front of you. Maybe because you had a bit too much to drink, you thought it was just a hallucination and muttered a few words to yourself.”
All the memories surged up suddenly. Guan Shu’s head throbbed in excruciating pain, as if thousands of needles were piercing through it. He raised his hand and clutched his head, letting out a painful scream.
The closed door, the silent corridor.
His lips trembled. He had indeed seen it. He even smelled Shen Yao’s pheromones, but they were faint. Because he often experienced these hallucinations after getting drunk, he naturally assumed that it was another illusion that day.
He could have saved Shen Yao.
Shen Yao no longer looked at him and turned to leave. Guan Shu knew where Shen Yao was going, but he still tightly grasped his wrist. His gaze towards Shen Yao resembled that of an abandoned puppy.
“Guan Shu,” Shen Yao glanced at the approaching Yan family bodyguards without turning back, “you should resolve your own troubles first before coming to find me.”
Guan Shu’s eyes were dry, and his palm slowly slid from Shen Yao’s hand. He truly made the decision to let Shen Yao leave his side.
But as their hands completely separated, Guan Shu couldn’t restrain himself from reaching up and tightly circling one of Shen Yao’s fingers.
In that moment of contact, he seemed to awaken and released his grip.
Yan Zhixing laid on the ground, his breathing weak. However, he stubbornly opened his eyes and, together with Guan Shu, stared intently at Shen Yao.
Watching him walk towards another completely unfamiliar alpha, both he and Guan Shu were overwhelmed by the same sense of powerlessness.
Shen Yao hadn’t seen Xu Yibai in a long time. It was as if he didn’t remember how ugly their last parting was. He took the initiative to embrace Xu Yibai, leaning against him and acting spoiled:
“Xu Yibai, you heard it too.”
“They treat me so badly, only you love me the most.”
Xu Yibai lowered his gaze, and his eyelashes trembled lightly. Just after a month apart, the gentle aura that once surrounded him seemed to have settled down, becoming cold and indifferent.
He knew Shen Yao was a liar, knew that Shen Yao was once again manipulating him with his mood, and knew that he was foolishly falling for it like a fool.
The arm around his waist grew tighter, clinging to him with a sense of dependence. Xu Yibai’s tightly held expression began to crumble little by little.
His presence here was not accidental, nor was it a coincidence, and it certainly wasn’t an invitation from Shen Yao. It was a compromise he had reached after going mad upon learning that Shen Yao was going to be engaged to Yan Zhixing. He had smashed a room in a fit of rage and used his own hand as a threat to obtain this compromised outcome.
If Shen Yao was going to get married, why couldn’t it be to him?
Xu Yibai slowly raised the hand resting on his leg, his gaze sweeping over Guan Shu and Yan Zhixing, before once again concealing all emotions in his eyes.
He reached out and embraced Shen Yao, lightly sniffing his scent, the previous coldness completely gone.
Xu Yibai said decisively:
“Follow me.”
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