Shoutout to Tachibanaswife for the commission!
Fortunately this stretch of the river flowed gently, and along the bank there were large expanses of reeds that could hide a person’s figure. I had read quite a few wuxia novels before, and I was afraid that Guard Li on the boat might really be some kind of martial arts master and throw a dart at my back or something, so I just kept my head down and burrowed straight into the reeds.
After twisting and turning east and west in the reed thicket for quite a while, I then jumped into the water and carefully swam upstream against the current.
I figured that after all my feints and concealment, they surely wouldn’t be able to track my whereabouts again. Who would have thought that in this world there are fools who only know how to guard one spot and wait stupidly, yet Heaven just happens to favor such fools and lets them wait successfully.
I didn’t think I was being clever; I only felt that Heaven truly has no eyes!
After swimming this far, I didn’t even have the strength to climb ashore. I simply plopped down in the water and shouted toward Yang Yan on the bank, “Come over and give me a hand!”
Yang Yan chuckled, quickly took off his boots and rolled up his trouser legs, waded through the water to me, braced his hands on his knees, bent over to look at me, and said with great satisfaction, “I knew you’d have to come back to find me!”
To h*ll with you! If I’d known you were still here, I would’ve clenched my teeth and swum to the opposite bank!
I was still panting heavily and didn’t respond, just stretched out my hand to him. “Pull me up.”
Yang Yan grabbed my hand and, while pulling me up, boasted, “Ninth Brother was right. A thief will feel guilty. We didn’t even have to do anything, Qi Sheng would throw his own formation into chaos first. Only you, silly woman, still treated him like a good man and even changed clothes to cross the river with him. If he really wanted to take you along, there were plenty of ways. Did he need to…”
I really couldn’t stand it anymore. I used every bit of strength I had and lunged at Yang Yan, grabbing his neck and pressing him into the water. At first he was caught off guard and swallowed a couple of mouthfuls of water, but after reacting he twisted his waist and pushed me down instead.
I struggled desperately but couldn’t budge his arms even a little. This was the difference in strength. This was the difference between a man and a woman.
Pressing me down, Yang Yan shouted angrily, “What’s wrong with you? Why are you so moody? What madness are you going on about now?”
Suddenly I felt an extreme grief and indignation in my heart, as if a lump of air was pressing against my chest, crashing around in all directions yet unable to find an outlet, suffocating me as if my chest were about to split open. I could only turn my head and roar, “I am moody! I am crazy! Do you think I want to be this woman?”
Yang Yan was stunned by my shout, and the force in his hands unconsciously lessened.
I finally broke free from his grip, but that pent-up feeling surged upward, turning into a wave of heat that rushed straight to my eyes. I didn’t want Yang Yan to look down on me, so I simply turned around and plunged headfirst into the water.
After a while, Yang Yan grabbed me by the collar and hauled me out of the water. Tilting his head, he looked at me and asked softly, “Were you crying?”
I silently glanced twice toward the shore, then looked at Yang Yan. “Partnering up with an idiot like you, how could I not cry?”
Yang Yan frowned and looked at me with a puzzled expression.
I lifted my chin toward behind him and asked, “Hey? Can you take on that many of them by yourself?”
Yang Yan froze, then hurriedly turned around. On the shore, more than ten black-clad men holding sabers had already spread out into a fan shape and were pressing step by step toward the riverbank.
Yang Yan stared at them but asked me, “Hey? Can you keep swimming?”
I thought for a moment and answered, “I can still swim for a while.”
Yang Yan nodded slowly, turned to me with an unprecedentedly sincere gaze, and asked, “Then what about carrying one more person?”
I paused, and only then understood what he meant. D*mn you!
I turned and ran toward the river behind me, shouting as I ran, “Yang Yan, you b*stard! Why aren’t you running!”
In a few steps Yang Yan rushed to my side, grabbed my arm, and we sprinted wildly into the river. Even while running, he didn’t forget to instruct me, “I can do doggie paddle, I’m just not fast. Just lead me a bit from the front!”
As he spoke, he grabbed tightly onto my belt.
Helpless, I negotiated with him while straining to paddle. “Can we not hold on like this? I’ll take off the belt, can you grab one end?”
Yang Yan thought for a moment and let go. I untied my belt, tied one end to my arm, and threw the other end to him.
The black-clad men behind us had also entered the water. Some of them seemed able to swim back against the current and were actually catching up.
I took a deep breath and paddled for my life, but unexpectedly found the resistance behind me enormous, almost preventing me from moving at all.
I turned my head and, sure enough, saw Yang Yan behind me also flailing desperately.
Furious, I shouted, “Yang Yan, can you just play dead and stop moving?”
His body stiffened, and finally he stopped struggling; instead, his body floated up on the surface.
When I turned back and paddled again, my speed indeed increased quite a bit.
By the time we reached the middle of the river, the current grew even more turbulent. My arms felt as if they were filled with lead; each lift required all my strength. Even so, my body was still drifting downstream with the river.
I heard Yang Yan shouting behind me to encourage me, “Hold on! Just hold on a bit longer!”
I didn’t even bother to turn my head. I simply stopped, treading water while unfastening the buckle of the belt tied to my arm.
Yang Yan’s voice immediately rose sharply. “Hey? What are you doing? You can’t do this! A person has to keep promises and value loyalty!”
I ignored him and kept wrestling with the belt on my arm. It was soaked through and tied in a dead knot; it was extremely difficult to untie.
Yang Yan changed his tone and continued shouting, “Sister, auntie, great-auntie! You can’t do this! Just grit your teeth and push a little harder. I already sent word to Ninth Brother, he’ll definitely send a boat to meet us. What kind of thing is it to dump me halfway like this?”
I seized a moment to look back. “It’s fine. You can dog paddle anyway; you won’t sink. Just drift along the river for now. If I run into Chu Wang, I’ll tell him to look for you along the river.”
Yang Yan’s body bobbed up and down on the surface. Hearing this, he immediately panicked. “No, no, that’s not how this works! It’s about to get dark, finding me would be a miracle!”
I sincerely advised him, “I’m really out of strength. If this keeps up, we’ll both be done for. Better for you to float in the river for now while I go deliver the message. Besides, if you relax completely and just keep your mouth and nose above water, theoretically you won’t sink!”
“Really?” Yang Yan asked.
“Really, really!” I hurriedly assured him.
As I spoke, I let go of the belt I had untied.
Behind me, Yang Yan was immediately carried some distance away by the current. He shouted, “Surname Zhang, don’t you regret this…” Before he could finish, he disappeared from the river’s surface.
In the end I couldn’t help feeling a bit unwilling. I called out, “If I regret it, I’ll come fish you out!”
As the sky gradually darkened, the strength in my body was also slowly exhausted. It seemed that even without Yang Yan dragging me down, I probably couldn’t swim across the river. At this moment I felt somewhat regretful, thinking it might’ve been better not to have thrown him off earlier, at least if we sank to the bottom, there would be someone to keep me company, right?
With that thought, two more parts of my strength were immediately drained away.
Just as I was about to give up and go look for Yang Yan, I suddenly saw a large ship on the river drawing nearer and nearer. From afar I could see carved beams and painted rafters on the boat, glittering with light; beneath it the clear waves rippled, and figures moved about.
Such a boat clearly wouldn’t belong to assassins. Overjoyed, I swam toward it with all the strength I had left. While still far from the ship, I raised my arms and shouted loudly, “Help! Help!”
A lantern was immediately lit on the boat and shone over at me. After shining on me for a moment, someone turned and shouted into the cabin, “Young master, the person has been found.”
I froze and forgot to tread water, accidentally gulping down two more mouthfuls of water.
In the midst of my fluster, a bamboo pole extended before my eyes. I looked up along the pole and saw Yang Yan, dressed neatly in a sky-blue brocade robe, crouching dry and comfortable by the rail. Under the glow of the red lantern, that face was grinning slyly.
Yang Yan lifted his chin at me. “Hey? You drifted along the river pretty fast yourself!”
A breath got stuck in my chest; I nearly fainted from anger.
Yang Yan tapped the river water in front of me with the bamboo pole and asked, “Want to come up?”
I very much wanted to curse, but I truly had no strength left. If I opened my mouth now, I’d only swallow a few more mouthfuls of river water.
I said nothing, just glared fiercely at Yang Yan.
Another person slowly emerged from the cabin, white brocade robe, hair bound with a golden crown, and said gently, “Yang Yan, stop teasing her. The river water is cold. Hurry and pull her up.”
But Yang Yan turned his head and said, “Ninth Brother, you don’t know, this girl dumped me in the middle of the river. She’s ruthless. I have to let her soak in the water a bit longer!”
Hearing this, I found it extremely laughable and couldn’t help bursting into loud laughter. That laugh was disastrous; more water entered my mouth, and some even went into my windpipe, making me cough until tears streamed down.
I cursed Yang Yan: “Yang Yan, you coward! I worked so hard to carry you across the river and you don’t remember the kindness, only the grudge of being abandoned. You clearly know how to swim, yet you let a woman exhaust herself for you. Pat your chest and ask yourself: if not for being dragged down by you, couldn’t I have swum across the Wan River by myself?”
The more I cursed, the more ridiculous this world seemed. I looked up at Lord Toilet and shouted, “Don’t you pretend to be a good man either! Qi Sheng isn’t a good thing, and neither are you. You lot, unable to bring peace to the country with literature nor secure it with arms, only know how to play petty schemes against a woman. Are you even men? Do you even have all your parts? Laozi is ashamed for you!”
As I cursed, my emotions surged. I gathered the last of my strength, leaped upward with all I had, and shouted angrily toward the boat, “Pah!”
As I sank back into the water, I gave up treading and let my body sink toward the bottom of the river.
I’ve had enough of being this woman! I’m done playing with you b*stards!
…
When I woke again, I was already in bed. The bedding was soft, warm, and dry.
I let out a long sigh and turned my head to look at Lord Toilet and Yang Yan standing silently by the bed.
Yang Yan opened his mouth as if to speak, then stopped.
I spoke frankly, “I knew you’d have to save me. You wouldn’t let me die like that, so I had to seize the chance to curse you thoroughly. Once that village is passed, there’s no more that shop.”
Yang Yan opened his mouth again, still hesitating.
I admitted briskly, “That’s right. I gambled that after that scolding and sinking, maybe you’d think I had a fierce character and look at me in a better light.”
Yang Yan opened his mouth once more and finally asked, “I’m just puzzled, why do you call yourself ‘laozi’? Even if you insist on that style, shouldn’t you at least say ‘laoniang’?”
Me: “…”
