Shoutout to Tachibanaswife for the commission!
Looking at the thirst-for-knowledge in Yang Yan’s eyes, I thought for a moment, struggled a bit to sit up, and very seriously asked, “Don’t you think the two words ‘laozi’ sound more imposing than ‘laoniang’?”
Yang Yan said in surprise, “Really?”
I nodded solemnly. “If you don’t believe me, try shouting it. The momentum is definitely different.”
Lord Toilet, who was standing to the side, suddenly let out a laugh. Only then did Yang Yan react, and he said angrily, “You’re messing with me?”
“Eh?” I raised my eyebrows in mock surprise and asked back, “You just realized that?”
Yang Yan froze for a moment, clearly about to become embarrassed and angry. But Lord Toilet suddenly said, “Yang Yan, go out first. I have something to ask her.”
Yang Yan was extremely unwilling, but he couldn’t defy Lord Toilet’s wishes, so he could only stomp out angrily. As he left, he glared at me and pointed at me with his index finger. “Girl, just you wait. You’ll pay for this!”
For someone like him, I couldn’t even be bothered to insult him with words. I just curled my lip in disdain and gave him the middle finger.
Yang Yan’s hand was already on the door, but seeing that, he turned back again. Noticing Lord Toilet looking at him, he quickly explained, “Ninth Brother, I’ll just ask her one more question.”
Lord Toilet said nothing.
Yang Yan then pointed at me and asked, “What does that gesture mean? You did it to me at the dock too. What exactly does it mean?”
I suddenly felt that people in this time and space were really innocent. They couldn’t even understand such a simple and obvious meaning. I adjusted my facial expression and answered very sincerely, “It’s a greeting gesture.”
Yang Yan clearly didn’t believe me. “A greeting?”
I nodded. “A greeting. Have you heard of Zhuge Liang and Cao Cao?”
Yang Yan thought for a moment and asked, “I heard that once there was a poor scholar who wrote a book called Three Kingdoms, about several states at war. Those two are characters in it, right?”
No mistake about it! Some predecessor who had transmigrated here must have plagiarized writings from a past life to make a living. Since he knew them, that made it easier.
I nodded solemnly and said, “You might not have read it, but I have. Zhuge Liang and Cao Cao are both great heroes in it, admired by tens of thousands.”
Yang Yan found this strange and asked, “They used that gesture to greet each other?”
I suppressed my laughter, keeping my face straight, and said, “Ah, no, here’s the thing. Strategist Zhuge was extremely courteous. Although he and Cao Cao were in opposing camps, every time they met on the battlefield it was courtesy before force. And Cao Cao happened to be very filial, so Strategist Zhuge would often inquire about the health of Cao Cao’s mother. You know, on the battlefield the two commanders would be far apart, and shouting might not be heard. So Strategist Zhuge came up with this idea, to make a greeting gesture toward Cao Cao from afar. Anyway, that was the meaning; it was enough that Cao Cao understood.”
I delivered that whole speech extremely smoothly without a single stumble. Speed was the key! By the time I finished, Yang Yan still hadn’t fully caught on. He only asked in surprise, “There’s such a thing?”
Lord Toilet, however, had already darkened his face and said coldly, “That’s enough, Yang Yan! Go out first. I have something to ask her.”
Seeing Lord Toilet suddenly turn stern, Yang Yan didn’t dare say more. He quickly closed the door behind him and left.
Only Lord Toilet and I remained in the cabin. He said nothing, just looked at me with an inquisitive gaze. A sentence suddenly popped into my mind: a dog that bites doesn’t bark!
No, the more it’s that kind of dog, the more you have to be on guard, lest it suddenly bite you when you least expect it.
Just as I was thinking this, I suddenly heard Lord Toilet ask calmly, “What condition would it take for you to tell the truth?”
Lowering my eyelids, I casually examined the brand-new goose-yellow silk blouse on my body and asked, “Where is the token that was on me?”
After a brief silence, Lord Toilet answered, “It was soaked by the water and became blurred. It was thrown away.”
I silently cursed Qi Sheng for being too cunning. He must have planned this from the beginning; that’s why he was so generous in giving me that token.
Lord Toilet lifted the hem of his robe and sat down by the table, then asked again, “Speak. What condition?”
D*mn, what a tone! As if no matter what I asked for, he could grant it. I couldn’t help but sneer and ask back, “What condition can you offer me?”
Lord Toilet looked at me silently for a moment and answered, “Safety and well-being. Food and clothing without worry.”
I had originally thought he would promise me wealth and glory or something like that. I hadn’t expected just these few words, and for a moment I was stunned. Eight simple characters, yet exactly what I was desperately seeking and unable to obtain.
Lord Toilet asked, “Well? Can that exchange for one sentence of truth from you?”
I nodded. “It can. But what will you use to make me trust you? Don’t tell me you’re going to give me another token.”
D*mn it, being cheated once was enough. Even if he gave me a waterproof oilcloth token this time, I wouldn’t believe it!
Lord Toilet smiled and said, “Since it is given by me, if I wish to take it back, I can take anything back. Rather than trusting a token, you should trust me.”
I thought carefully, looked into his eyes, and said, “Fine. I’ll trust you. I am indeed not Lady Zhang.”
The corner of Lord Toilet’s mouth curved in a faint smile. “I knew from the first time I saw you that you were not Lady Zhang. What I want to ask is…” He paused slightly and leaned forward a bit, looking into my eyes as he asked, “Who exactly are you?”
Ha! Staring into my eyes while asking that, aren’t you just trying to judge whether I’m telling the truth or lying? Too bad you’re going to miscalculate. In my first twenty years I had countless girlfriends; if I learned nothing else, I certainly practiced how to tell lies with a straight face!
I slightly shifted my gaze aside, forced a bit of misery onto my face, and answered slowly, “I don’t remember anything from my childhood. From the time I can remember, I was raised by a kidnapper. Until the beginning of last year, when a noble person bought me and kept me confined somewhere for over half a year of training, and then sent me into the Eastern Palace.”
Lord Toilet was silent for a moment, then suddenly asked, “What was that kidnapper’s surname?”
I had long prepared for his questions. Hearing this, I calmly replied, “Surname Si.”
Lord Toilet looked at me thoughtfully.
After thinking a bit, I added, “Why not just hand me over to the Zhang family to verify whether I’m real or fake? Lady Zhang’s mother is still alive, after all. She must know what identifying marks her daughter has.”
Lord Toilet smiled faintly and said nothing.
The more you speak, the more mistakes you make; if you don’t speak, you don’t err. I simply closed my mouth as well.
The cabin fell silent again. Only the faint sound of river water hitting the hull could be heard outside. The rocking of the boat gradually increased, as if wind and waves had risen on the river.
Seeing me glance toward the window, Lord Toilet explained softly, “Up ahead we’re reaching Nine-Bend Gorge. The current is a bit swifter.”
Suddenly there came a burst of hurried footsteps outside the cabin. Immediately the door was pushed open by Yang Yan. He strode in with a look of urgency and said, “Ninth Brother, ships from the Fuping Navy are ahead. They’ve blocked us.”
Under the lamplight, I saw Lord Toilet gently raise his brows and say to me, “They’ve come looking for you.”
At once I couldn’t make sense of Qi Sheng’s intentions even more. The Crown Princess leaves the palace privately, and in the dead of night is found on the private boat of the Ninth Prince. Is this creating an opportunity for me to have an affair, and then bringing people to catch us in the act? Just how much does Qi Sheng love that green hat? It’s not enough to put it on someone else, he has to try it on himself too?
Could it be that he shares the same peculiar hobby as that Zhao Wang left behind in Shengdu?
My mind was a bit chaotic. I couldn’t sort it out no matter how I tried. But one thought flashed through: at this moment, if Lord Toilet tied me up securely, attached a stone, and, under cover of darkness, tossed me into the river, he would be completely innocent.
Thinking this, I felt a chill and hurriedly glanced at Lord Toilet.
He was looking at me as well, as if seeing through my thoughts. He said calmly, “Since I have promised you, I will naturally keep my word.”
After saying this, he stood up and went out.
Yang Yan glanced at me worriedly, then quickly followed him out.
I sat on the bed, turning Lord Toilet’s words over and over in my mind. In the end I couldn’t fully trust him. I thought that rather than sitting here waiting for the final outcome, I might as well go out and take a look myself. At least I wouldn’t be completely in the dark.
With that thought, I climbed out of bed and carefully put on the naval uniform that had been drying to the side. It had originally fit me well, but now it suddenly felt a bit tight on the upper body. I began wondering if it had shrunk from being soaked in water. Then I lowered my head and looked at my chest and finally understood.
Because I had received a slight sword wound on my chest, the binding cloth had long been cut away and replaced with white silk bandages wrapped around the wound. But judging from the technique, whoever had done it had clearly never bound a woman to pass as a man before. The wrapping was extremely unprofessional and couldn’t conceal a woman’s figure at all.
There was no time to worry about that now. Fortunately it was night; unless someone looked closely, they probably wouldn’t see clearly.
I comforted myself like this and stealthily slipped out of the cabin.
Several warships of the Fuping Navy were not far ahead of this boat, only a few dozen zhang away. Unlike this pleasure boat with its carved beams and painted rafters, the warships had, in addition to lanterns for illumination, many torches lit up, making the decks as bright as day.
On the bow of the main flagship stood Crown Prince Qi Sheng in black robes and silver armor, hand resting on his sword, his brows cold as frost. Extremely imposing. Extremely handsome. Extremely stupid!
Ha! This brat definitely has never led a navy before. He boards a ship and still wears this kind of armor, is he afraid that if he falls into the water he won’t sink like a weight? Just you wait. If I get the chance, I’ll kick you into the river for a soak myself!
Lord Toilet was still standing at the bow exchanging official courtesies with them, but the warship slowly pressed closer. Then suddenly from that ship’s bow came a heart-rending cry: “Miss! Miss!”
My body stiffened. Following the sound, I saw Luli rush out from the cabin of that ship, struggling with the soldiers who tried to stop her, and crying out toward this side with a sobbing voice, “Miss! Miss! Are you on the ship? Are you on the ship?”
Oh mother of heaven! How did this little auntie end up coming along too?
