Chapter 209
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Fu Xuezhou’s words instantly shattered his pretense of indifference, revealing a vulnerable side.
Lou Yan’s steps halted.
He hadn’t expected Fu Xuezhou to ask him such a question, and Lou Yan fell into silence for a moment.
Fu Xuezhou seemed to derive an answer from his silence. He chuckled self-mockingly, his voice becoming even huskier. “Lou Yan, were the words you said to me before pushing me into the extreme cold h*ll true or false?”
In the tightly closed room, the air seemed to thin rapidly with Fu Xuezhou’s two questions.
Lou Yan remained silent, pondering many things at this moment. There was the joy of pushing Fu Xuezhou down, the anger upon learning the truth, and the emptiness when he thought Fu Xuezhou was truly dead.
The image of Fu Xuezhou blocking the attack from the Anomaly Lord, Count Grey’s face flashed through his mind, followed by the memories written by the pen, and finally the falling snow and the beams of light projected through the door crack onto him.
Fu Xuezhou’s indifference and arrogance, his hatred and dignity, and his decision to treat each other as strangers in the future.
With shallow breaths, Lou Yan didn’t speak. Fu Xuezhou stared fixedly at Lou Yan’s back, the tendons on the back of his hand tensing, waiting for Lou Yan’s words.
Like a convict awaiting his final judgment.
Lou Yan finally said, “It’s true.”
Fu Xuezhou suddenly felt something shatter in his ear, and he froze stiffly, not moving at all. Even though he had already given his heart to Count Grey, he inexplicably felt the pain of heartbreak.
A chill spread over his entire body, and Fu Xuezhou felt that this kind of coldness was even worse than the coldness of the extreme cold h*ll.
Almost cold enough to make him feel like he had died again.
With his back to Fu Xuezhou, Lou Yan calmly said, “The words I said to you before pushing you into the extreme cold h*ll were true, as was my hatred for you. If it weren’t for the ghost marriage contract, I wouldn’t have had any intimate relationship with you. At the beginning, I truly loathed your touch. The last time with you was also to dissolve the ghost marriage contract.”
Fu Xuezhou didn’t speak anymore.
The room fell into silence once again, a silence that was almost maddening.
Lou Yan stared at the doorknob absentmindedly, his eyelashes fluttering slightly. He subconsciously wanted to escape from this uncomfortable atmosphere, so he opened the door and walked out. As he was about to close the door, Lou Yan couldn’t help but glance back at Fu Xuezhou, his expression stunned.
Fu Xuezhou was motionless on the bed.
He was actually crying.
Fu Xuezhou, was crying.
…
Lou Yan returned to the deck and continued to sit on his chair, fishing, looking somewhat strange.
Duan Zege had already caught a whole bucket of fish, and he glanced at Lou Yan with satisfaction, picking up the thermos cup beside him and smiling, “How did your conversation go with him?”
“I’ve asked what needed to be asked. At the very least, he won’t destroy the world before his death,” Lou Yan paused, unable to resist confiding in Duan Zege, “He cried.”
Duan Zege was so surprised that he sprayed out a mouthful of water, coughing, “Cried? Fu Xuezhou cried?!”
Lou Yan nodded silently and briefly recounted their conversation. After listening, Duan Zege screwed on the thermos cup and pondered for a moment before asking, “How did you feel when you saw him cry?”
Lou Yan remained silent for a while, and Duan Zege patiently waited for his answer. After a few minutes, Lou Yan slowly said, “To be honest, I felt my heart turn soft.”
“Only a bit soft?” Duan Zege blinked, “Is that all?”
Lou Yan smiled wryly, “Actually, there was also a bit of pleasure.”
“Huh?” Duan Zege raised an eyebrow.
“A prodigy like him, who is good-looking, strong, and detached from the world like a god, falling into love with you, shedding tears for you… how can you not feel satisfied?” Lou Yan said lightly, “I felt that satisfaction. Just the thought of him, my former enemy, showing such a cold and ruthless appearance, made this feeling even more satisfying.”
However.
Lou Yan lowered his gaze to the sea.
He actually felt a bit at a loss at the time, and almost couldn’t close Fu Xuezhou’s door.
Duan Zege chuckled, “Truly you, Lou Yan.”
He asked eagerly, “So, what are you going to do with him next?”
As the sea breeze blew, Lou Yan closed his eyes, feeling the coolness washing over him. His whole being was immersed in this coolness, as if submerged in the sea, with reason and emotion clearly separated, clean and clear.
“I’ve rejected him. With Fu Xuezhou’s character, he won’t pester me after I said that to him. There will be no relationship between him and me in the future,” Lou Yan heard himself saying, “I’ve thought a lot, for a long time. This is the best outcome. Misunderstandings between us have been resolved, and vengeance has been taken. I want to cut off all ties cleanly and decisively.”
Lou Yan paused for a moment, “I admit that I had feelings for him… and I admit that his feelings made me hesitate for a moment. But the truth is, he and I are really not compatible. Fu Xuezhou’s inherent autocracy and indifference haven’t changed until now. He doesn’t know how to respect others, nor does he understand that everyone has their own thoughts and selves. Fu Xuezhou is too arrogant, and unfortunately, I am also a very arrogant person, someone with a strong desire for control. I can’t accept Fu Xuezhou’s control and possessiveness towards me, nor can I accept him changing my life without any explanation. The two of us are really incompatible, not at all suitable for each other. Being so incompatible, there’s no way we can be together. Even if we reconcile this time, there will inevitably be another rupture in the future.”
“Since it’s going to happen sooner or later, why not just end it now? It would be easier for everyone,” Lou Yan exhaled a sigh, “The pain will only last for a while. Honestly, hating Fu Xuezhou is too tiring. Loving him… I don’t think my feelings for him have reached that level yet, so, that’s it. Clashing like needles against each other will only result in mutual harm, there’s no need for it.”
Duan Zege wanted to sigh. He placed the fishing rod on the ground, about to speak, but inadvertently caught sight of a corner of clothing behind the shipping container.
He paused, then calmly withdrew his gaze, “What if Fu Xuezhou continues to pursue you?”
“He won’t,” Lou Yan turned his head, smiling softly at Duan Zege, his face filled with certainty, “Fu Xuezhou wouldn’t do that. He also has his dignity. If he tries to cling to me again, that would be too pathetic.”
And Fu Xuezhou wouldn’t be so pathetic.
Duan Zege nodded thoughtfully, then glanced back at the corner where the clothing had been, only to find it had disappeared.
***
Fishing in the deep sea was quite fruitful, with two buckets full of fish sent to the kitchen, ready for a seafood feast in the evening.
Lou Yan put away the fishing rod and was about to wash his hands with Duan Zege when Li Sanxin hurried over, “Yanzi, Fu Xuezhou is missing!”
Lou Yan’s heart skipped a beat, furrowing his brows, “What do you mean he’s missing?”
“I went to his room just now to check on his recovery, only to find he’s not there. I searched everywhere but couldn’t find him,” Li Sanxin was anxious, “Do you think he’s not on the ship?”
“Impossible, right?” Duan Zege hesitated, “Where else could he go if not on the ship? We’re in the deep sea.”
Lou Yan stuffed the fishing rod into Duan Zege’s arms and ran to the captain’s cabin with a stern face. Li Sanxin and Duan Zege exchanged a glance and quickly followed him.
Lou Yan instructed the captain to mobilize all the crew members to search for Fu Xuezhou on the ship, while he, Li Sanxin, and Duan Zege also joined the search. Even Lu Haoxiu, who was resting, got up from his bed upon hearing about the situation and joined the search as well.
Nearly twenty people searched the entire ship for a full hour but couldn’t find Fu Xuezhou. They could now confirm that Fu Xuezhou was definitely not on the ship.
Lu Haoxiu was baffled, “Then where could Fu Xuezhou have gone?”
There were plenty of lifebuoys and lifeboats on the ship.
Lou Yan leaned against the railing, looking out at the sea. The water was deep and dark, giving an eerie feeling of what might be lurking beneath. The ship rocked back and forth with the waves. Lou Yan glanced towards the rear of the ship, but there was no sign of anyone on the surface of the water.
The captain and crew were getting anxious, even preparing to launch a helicopter to search the sea. Lou Yan stopped them, “There’s no need to search. He’s fine.”
Li Sanxin came up and grabbed his shoulder, looking worriedly towards the stern of the ship, “Lou Yan, he…”
“He just left,” Lou Yan said calmly, “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine.”
Duan Zege added, “Should we go back to his room and take a look? He might have left something behind.”
The group moved to Fu Xuezhou’s room, but Lou Yan didn’t join them. He turned around, leaning against the railing, feeling the sea breeze passing through his fingers. It felt like his soul was swaying with the movement of the ship, a sensation of weightlessness.
It was as if he had grown wings on his back, as if he could fly away at any moment. But as he reached back, he felt nothing.
At this moment, Lou Yan was almost envious of Fu Xuezhou’s wings.
He closed his eyes, enjoying the freedom and swaying feeling. After a while, Li Sanxin and the others hurried back. Before they reached Lou Yan, their voices had already reached him, “Yanzi, Fu Xuezhou didn’t take anything, nor did he leave anything behind. It’s strange, he just disappeared like evaporating!”
Lou Yan nodded calmly, “That’s good.”
It seemed Fu Xuezhou understood his meaning as well and decided to become a stranger to him.
“That’s good,” Lou Yan repeated, smiling as he walked towards the cabin, “I’ll go back to my room to wash up. Let’s have a good meal tonight to relax.”
Watching his back, Li Sanxin couldn’t help but furrow his brows, finding it strange how unaffected Lou Yan seemed, “Hey, why isn’t Yanzi more surprised by this? How odd.”
Lu Haoxiu scratched his cheek, full of question marks in his eyes, “I don’t know either. I haven’t even left the room today.”
Duan Zege pondered for a moment, “Have you guys ever watched the Animal Channel?”
Li Sanxin rolled his eyes, “Of course!”
Lu Haoxiu asked, “Uh, what does that have to do with the situation?”
“It’s somewhat related,” Duan Zege squinted, “In the Animal Channel, injured wild animals always find a hidden place to heal.”
Some people are like wild animals.
Especially a wounded beast who cries in pain; he needs to find a place where no one can find him, to lick his wounds alone.
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