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My Corpse is Bohemian Chapter 33

Chapter 33: Indeed, it’s a corpse


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Onstage, the host began introducing the five military dogs one by one: Tigerback, Redfang, Mighty, Big Sword, and Bayonet, with an average age of six years, about to retire with honor. They each carried wounds from dangerous missions, and although they were just animals, their heroic deeds moved many people.

The first animal performance of the Cute Pet Festival would be opened by these five military dogs. The soldiers led them into an enclosed area, released their leashes, and a referee stood by, timing them. When the whistle blew, the five military dogs shot out like arrows from a bow, led by Tigerback, following the commands of their trainer to complete various performance tasks. The team remained orderly and disciplined throughout.

The audience cheered, applause resounded, and many raised their phones or cameras to capture their agile figures.

Although An Bu had some reservations about these military dogs, she had to admit they were cool.

At 4 minutes and 32 seconds, the five military dogs successively completed their performances, not exceed a second. The audience generously gave them enthusiastic applause.

The host loudly declared, “Next, as long as other pets complete all performance tasks within 5 minutes, they will receive a prize. If they break the record set by the military dogs, in addition to the original rewards, they will receive 1,000 yuan in cash and a free grooming voucher. There are also various rich prizes for other game activities. Alright, owners, please have fun with your little companions.”

People scattered, each looking for games that interested them. An Bu followed the crowd into the indoor venue, where the main activities included intellectual games, pet pairing, grooming, health consultations, and introductions to pet products.

She estimated that the military dogs would be outside, so she decided to stay indoors until they left.

“If your cat shows symptoms like itchy skin, vomiting, red ears, or hair loss, it’s likely due to improper cat food selection,” An Bu was recommending a cat food brand to a foreign customer. “Your cat may not be suitable for high-protein cat food. You can try this one, a low-allergenic prescription food…”

In just a short while, the foreign customer happily purchased the recommended cat food under An Bu’s guidance. Just as An Bu was about to move on to the next target, the five military dogs strolled in as if patrolling their territory.

An Bu: …

Before she could change her location, the five military dogs had already trotted towards her, their soldiers in tow, surrounding her and sniffing around her.

Tigerback: [Indeed, it’s a corpse.]

Mighty: [Definitely a corpse.]

Redfang: [Confirmed, it’s a corpse.]

Bayonet: [The corpse isn’t running anymore.]

Big Sword: [Want to take a bite to test?]

A large hand reached out, shielding An Bu in its embrace. Jian Ningxuan looked at the five soldiers, who were now focused on An Bu, and asked expressionlessly, “What’s going on?”

Soldier 1: “Sorry, it seems like they are very interested in this young lady.”

Soldier 2 crouched down, patted Mighty’s back, and looked up at An Bu. “Do you have something strange on you?”

An Bu quickly shook her head.

“Don’t worry,” Soldier 3 smiled, “they won’t bite randomly.”

Big Sword, who was about to chew on An Bu’s leg, immediately closed his dog mouth.

An Bu: “…” Almost believed your words.

Soldier 2 suddenly felt a wave of heat on his back, and his skin slightly warmed as if the surrounding temperature had abruptly risen by five or six degrees. Simultaneously, the fur of the five military dogs shook, and they all took a few steps back, tongues hanging out. 

D*mn, it’s hot as h*ll!

“Sorry to disturb you,” Soldier 4 spoke up. “These military dogs will officially retire next month. We brought them here just to let them relax and roam freely without too much restraint. They mean no harm, and we hope you don’t mind.”

“As long as you ensure they won’t chase after me, I don’t mind,” An Bu generously waved her hand.

“You can trust us!” The soldiers vowed solemnly.

However, they soon contradicted themselves.

An Bu switched to the outdoors again, away from the area where the five military dogs were located.

During the lunch break, Jian Ningxuan went to buy lunch, and An Bu sat in the shade, suddenly feeling her knee being touched a few times. When she looked down, she was surprised to see the fierce face of a dog, the one named “Mighty,” a German Shepherd.

An Bu: “…” What do you want?!

Mighty placed its paw on her knee, leaned in to sniff vigorously, and then even attempted to crawl under her skirt! An Bu immediately tightened her skirt, not daring to move recklessly, lest it perceived it as a threat and bit her fiercely.

By the way, where was its owner? Didn’t they promise that the dogs wouldn’t chase after her?

Mighty stared at her, then turned its head and barked a few times in another direction.

In just a few seconds, five soldiers and four military dogs hurriedly ran over. One of the soldiers took a few quick steps, grabbed Mighty’s leash, and scolded, “Mighty, why are you running around?”

Mighty looked at An Bu, then gestured vigorously to the soldier, and the other military dogs reacted the same way, raising their paws, indicating the discovery of a “suspicious item”: found a corpse, please handle it as soon as possible!

In actual operations, military dogs often need to search for various dangerous items, suspicious objects, contraband, etc., with a combination of sharp tracking and discrimination abilities. Corpses are also one of their search targets. On the battlefield, they may need to retrieve the bodies of fallen comrades left in the wild.

When the military dogs discovered An Bu, they didn’t act because they hadn’t received any orders. However, seeing a corpse bouncing around everywhere, they found it very suspicious. Adhering to their usual alertness, they repeatedly reminded their handlers: this is a corpse, exposed in the sunlight, spreading the smell of death everywhere, affecting environmental hygiene!

The soldiers exchanged glances and then looked at An Bu together, saying seriously, “Miss, could you please stand up and let us check.”

An Bu reluctantly stood up, shook her clothes and skirt, and turned around, revealing nothing on her except the phone hanging around her neck.

“How do you plan to check? Do you want me to undress?” 

The soldiers looked a bit embarrassed and awkward. Their previous reaction was just out of trust in the military dogs, a habitual response.

However, the military dogs didn’t seem to harbor much hostility towards An Bu. Instead, it seemed like they had found a missing (dead) item.

Soldier 1: “Sorry, we also don’t know what’s wrong with them.”

Soldier 2: “I still feel something’s not right.”

Soldier 3 patted his military dog’s head, “Stop messing around. Be polite to the lady. Are you interested in her after retiring? Want to live together?”

An Bu/Five dogs: Don’t make jokes like that!

Soldier 4: “Miss, what’s your name? Let’s be friends.”

An Bu was about to answer when she suddenly saw a wisp of death energy drifting from the military dog named “Mighty.”

She had seen quite a bit of death energy on animals, but she had never successfully saved one. It’s not that she didn’t want to, but the animals moved too fast, and the ways they died were too unpredictable. Even if she happened to encounter one, it was challenging to intervene. For example, in a car accident, by the time it happened, it was too late; or in the case of food poisoning, she couldn’t predict which food was toxic. Only when she encountered sick stray cats or dogs could she have a chance to help. But it seemed like she didn’t have a good rapport with animals; every time she chased after them to rescue, they still died during the healing process.

Animal death energy wasn’t as regular as in humans. Sometimes it appeared one moment and vanished the next, sometimes it lingered for six or seven days. An Bu had no choice; later encounters were ignored.

However, with the military dog in front of her, if possible, she wanted to save it. Even if there was no life energy to gain, considering its contributions to humanity, she didn’t want it to die accidentally just before retirement.

An Bu squatted down, staring at Mighty for a while, then looked up at Soldier 2. “After the event, are you going back to the barracks?”

Soldier 2 didn’t expect her to ask this question, hesitated for a moment, then nodded, “Yes.”

An Bu asked again, “How will they live after retirement?”

This time, Soldier 1 answered, “They are meritorious military dogs, and the military will provide them with a pension.”

“Can’t other people adopt them?” An Bu asked.

Soldier 1: “Generally, only some retired veterans have the qualifications to adopt military dogs, and it must be approved by the military dogs themselves.”

An Bu nodded in understanding.

Soldier 4 asked with interest, “Are you interested?”

An Bu quickly shook her head, “No, no, just asking casually. By the way, you asked for my name earlier. I’m called ‘An Bu.’ Hello.”

She stood up and shook hands with each of the five people, exchanging names.

“An Bu.” At this moment, Jian Ningxuan walked over, carrying a lunch box. Seeing An Bu surrounded by soldiers and military dogs again, his face immediately became less pleasant.

“It’s okay, just met a few friends,” An Bu introduced, “This is my ‘roommate,’ Jian Ningxuan.”

The soldiers, “Roommate~~”

Jian Ningxuan stared at them expressionlessly and asked insincerely, “Join us for a meal?”

“Oh, no, no need,” the soldiers tactfully declined. Standing next to this man, it felt like the air was about to catch fire.

Just as the five people and five dogs turned away, An Bu noticed that both Big Sword and Redfang also emitted death energy in succession.

Her face changed suddenly. What’s going on? Could they be on the verge of a collective accident? If so, why didn’t the soldiers show any death energy?

“What’s wrong?” Jian Ningxuan saw An Bu looking serious and followed her gaze. He asked, “Are you interested in those military dogs?”

“No.” An Bu withdrew her gaze, turned, and took the lunch box from him. “Let’s eat first.”

Jian Ningxuan was silent for a moment, then suddenly asked, “Do you want to raise a pet?”

An Bu casually replied, “Don’t I already have you? Do I need any other pets?” A cat master that could emit light and heat—she wouldn’t trade it for 10 million bitcoins, though 10 million vitality points might be worth considering.

Jian Ningxuan: “…”

(////ω////)~~


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All chapter links should work perfectly now! If there is any errors, please a drop a comment so we can fix it asap!
My Corpse is Bohemian

My Corpse is Bohemian

ศพของฉันแซ่บมาก, 我的尸身放荡不羁, 雪原幽灵
Score 8.6
Status: Completed Type: Author: , Released: 2018 Native Language: Chinese
She is a moving corpse, with no heartbeat, no breathing, no pulse, and no body temperature. Every day, she is thinking about how to prevent corrosion, moisturize, rejuvenate, whiten, and maintain the vitality of her body. Doing sauna, soaking in hot springs to activate blood circulation, drinking angelica red date chicken soup to replenish qi, eating vegetables and fruits to replenish water, exercising daily to prevent osteoporosis, using her mind at all times to prevent rigid thinking, she is determined to be a good corpse that is healthy, environmentally friendly and pollution-free.

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