Chapter 81
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This summer was filled with pain, torment, unwillingness, and despair in Gu Yang’s memory.
For Gu Yang, who didn’t know he would be reborn in Fan Yuan’s world after death, death meant the end.
Even though he woke up again in “Fan Yuan,” he didn’t want to dwell on this summer.
But it seemed that fate enjoyed playing tricks, allowing Gu Yang to lose focus while lighting the match, ultimately leading him and Fan Yuan to this dream world.
Not only did Gu Yang have to experience this terrifying torment again, but Fan Yuan also had to witness his departure.
Gu Yang’s will was somewhat diminished. He forced a smile in front of his parents when they came to visit, but when he was alone, he curled up in bed, enduring the pain.
Every day, Fan Yuan would take Gu Yang for a walk downstairs. If it weren’t for Gu Yang’s illness, it would have been a beautiful summer.
Sunny days with little rain, pleasant temperatures, a clear blue sky without a cloud for miles.
Gu Yang leaned on Fan Yuan and walked slowly with him on the grass beneath the hospital.
Compared to the surroundings, Gu Yang was more curious about the present Fan Yuan.
The dream world had brought Fan Yuan directly into his early twenties, and he was much taller than the eighteen-year-old Fan Yuan. Walking beside Fan Yuan, Gu Yang appeared even thinner and smaller.
Breaking the silence between them, Gu Yang put his hand into the pocket of Fan Yuan’s white coat and walked up to him, gesturing to the height difference between them.
“Fan Yuan, you’re so tall! I wonder if there’s any special connection between this dream world and the real world. Maybe in the future, you really will be this tall!”
Fan Yuan’s black eyes calmly watched Gu Yang without answering his question. He simply reached out and wrapped his arm around Gu Yang’s waist, pulling him close.
“Gu Yang, you know this is just a dream. I’ll be with you, always.”
The smile on Gu Yang’s face slowly stiffened and disappeared. He took a deep breath and pressed his forehead against Fan Yuan’s chest.
“I know, I know. It’s just a dream after all. When I wake up, it will be over.”
Fan Yuan didn’t say anything more. He simply bent down and held Gu Yang tightly, supporting Gu Yang’s bent legs with his hands, allowing Gu Yang to wrap his arms around his neck. They slowly circled the hospital’s lawn like this.
A tall, handsome man held a frail, weak young boy with tenderness and gentleness as they walked around the hospital. This scene attracted the attention of many people, but Fan Yuan and Gu Yang didn’t care.
Until Gu Yang’s body started to tremble slightly and the repeated intense pain struck again, Fan Yuan took him back to the hospital room.
As soon as they returned to the room, the medical staff rushed in to provide pain relief and sedation for Gu Yang, futile attempts to alleviate his suffering.
Everyone knew that these painkillers and sedatives couldn’t be used excessively as they had strong side effects.
But for a young boy with little time left in his life, the side effects seemed to lose their meaning. At least with these medications, he could have a slightly easier time during his remaining time.
After enduring the intense pain, which seemed to strike endlessly, Gu Yang laid exhausted on the hospital bed. His mind was empty, and he even lacked the energy to think.
Fan Yuan’s idea of accompanying him went beyond mere company. He even took charge of preparing Gu Yang’s meals, providing him with light but nutritious food every day.
Gu Yang’s appetite was rapidly declining, and everything he ate made him feel extremely uncomfortable. But if he didn’t eat, his body would weaken even faster.
More importantly, Gu Yang didn’t want Fan Yuan’s efforts to be in vain.
He always forced himself to eat all the food in front of Fan Yuan, enduring the pain, and then secretly ran to the bathroom to vomit it all out when Fan Yuan went to clean up the dishes outside.
After a few times like this, Fan Yuan still noticed that something was wrong.
When Gu Yang was once again hunched over the toilet, vomiting, Fan Yuan caught him red-handed.
Standing by the door, Fan Yuan’s expression showed neither happiness nor anger. He calmly asked Gu Yang, “If you can’t eat, why didn’t you tell me?”
Gu Yang’s shoulders trembled, and he leaned against the wall, standing up with his head lowered. His entire being was pale and emaciated.
“I didn’t want you to go through all this trouble for nothing…”
Fan Yuan remained silent for a long time, then suddenly took big strides forward and embraced Gu Yang tightly.
“If you can’t eat, then eat less.”
From then on, Fan Yuan continued to prepare various meticulously crafted meals for Gu Yang and fed him mouthful by mouthful. However, each meal was small in portion.
Gu Yang’s parents found it strange that Fan Yuan, an intern doctor, was taking care of their son. In the end, Fan Yuan managed to dismiss their concerns by citing the need for additional medical supervision. Having one more person to carefully look after Gu Yang would bring a bit more peace of mind to his parents as well.
Under Fan Yuan’s attentive care, Gu Yang’s condition seemed to gradually improve. He appeared more spirited, and his appetite increased slightly.
However, Gu Yang’s medical reports revealed to everyone that it was merely a temporary improvement, a fleeting spark of vitality.
Gu Yang himself was well aware of this, which is why on a day when he felt relatively energetic, he secretly left the hospital with Fan Yuan.
He took Fan Yuan to the places where he had grown up, walking through the alleyways he had traversed for over ten years, visiting the school he had attended. Finally, he led Fan Yuan to his own room.
During the day, Gu Yang’s parents were busy with work, and no one was at home.
His room had been unoccupied for a long time, covered in a layer of dust due to his parents’ busy schedule, shuttling between work and the hospital.
Gu Yang carefully brushed off the dust and sat with Fan Yuan on the edge of the bed, pointing out everything in the room, describing it in detail for him.
In the end, Gu Yang suddenly curled up in Fan Yuan’s arms and lightly rubbed his cheek against Fan Yuan’s chest.
“At first, I was resistant to coming to this dream-like world, but now, I feel like it’s not so bad. At least I can personally take you through the places I’ve lived, allowing you to understand me better.”
“In the future, these memories won’t be known by just me alone.”
Fan Yuan didn’t say anything; he just gently patted Gu Yang’s back over and over.
After returning to the hospital, Gu Yang’s condition suddenly worsened that night. He could no longer eat on his own, and the familiar, icy-cold tube was once again inserted into his body.
After the temporary improvement, Gu Yang couldn’t even manage to get out of bed.
But Fan Yuan still pushed his wheelchair every day and took Gu Yang downstairs for a while.
They would sit under the shade of trees, softly kissing in the summer, or watch children play near the flower beds.
Until the day quickly arrived when Gu Yang would depart from his previous life, it was undeniably a painful day, yet the weather was exceptionally sunny.
The cicadas continued their summer chorus, the sky was clear blue, and a lone cloud drifted in the distance.
In the sickroom, the window was open, and a gentle breeze caressed the pure white curtains, causing them to sway gently. It’s unclear what kind of melancholy it brought along.
Gu Yang looked at his parents sitting by his bedside and smiled:
“Mom, Dad, I had a dream. I dreamt that after I leave, I will go to another world where I will meet the most important person to me. We will support and rely on each other as we continue on together. So, please don’t worry about me. And please, live happily in this world.”
Gu Yang’s parents were intellectually aware that he wouldn’t last much longer, but emotionally, he was their child, their own flesh and blood. What parents could accept such a reality?
Tears welled up in Gu Yang’s mother’s eyes, and he reached out to gently wipe them away.
“Mom, I suddenly really want to eat the small wontons near our house and the oden next to my school. I’m really craving them, can you buy them for me?”
This was the first time since Gu Yang had been hospitalized that he expressed a desire for a specific food. Gu Yang’s parents, of course, wouldn’t refuse; in fact, they were delighted.
They eagerly discussed the plan, with one of them going to buy the wontons and the other going to buy the oden, and they quickly left the hospital room.
Gu Yang watched the door of the room open and close, then lowered his head:
“I’m sorry, I don’t want you to see me leave again.”
Not long after the closed door, it was pushed open once more, and Fan Yuan walked in.
The two of them silently locked eyes, and Fan Yuan took off his white coat and draped it over Gu Yang. He lifted Gu Yang in his arms and quietly left the hospital room.
Fan Yuan took Gu Yang to the rooftop of the hospital. He walked slowly to the edge of the rooftop while holding Gu Yang, gazing up at the sky above.
“Gu Yang, do you like the sky?”
Gu Yang appeared pale and lifeless, his eyes gradually losing their sparkle, but he still tilted his head to one side, carefully listening to Fan Yuan’s words. When he heard Fan Yuan’s question, he slowly shook his head.
Fan Yuan held Gu Yang tightly in his arms and took a step onto the protective wall of the rooftop. The wall was only a little over 20 centimeters wide. It seemed that even a gust of wind could blow them off.
“Do you like clouds?” Fan Yuan whispered into Gu Yang’s ear, their bodies pressed close together.
Gu Yang still shook his head, unafraid of Fan Yuan bringing him to such a dangerous place.
He simply leaned quietly in Fan Yuan’s arms, gripping the front of his shirt with weak hands, breathing faintly.
The corner of Fan Yuan’s mouth curved up as he asked Gu Yang again:
“Then what do you like?”
Gu Yang’s lips moved, as if he wanted to speak, but only emitted a meaningless breath. He didn’t even have the strength to speak.
He stubbornly tugged lightly at the hand gripping Fan Yuan’s shirt, seemingly expressing the unspoken meaning:
What I like, it’s only you.
Fan Yuan slowly lowered his head and pressed his lips against Gu Yang’s, feeling his faint breath.
“Gu Yang, I want you to go to the same university as me, live in the same city, share the same house, sleep in the same bed, and in the end… lie in the same cemetery.”
“I want you to never be able to leave me.”
“Sleep, Gu Yang.”
“When you open your eyes, you’ll see me.”
Gu Yang’s lifeless eyes blinked slowly and eventually closed.
The faint breath that had been brushing against Fan Yuan’s lips vanished, and Gu Yang’s hands, which had been gripping Fan Yuan’s shirt, fell weakly.
Fan Yuan stood upright while holding Gu Yang, looking at the vast blue sky. He took a step back, turning his back to the tall building with lifeless Gu Yang in his arms. Then, he took another step back, his feet stepping into the void, falling down.
As the two of them continued to fall, this dream world began to collapse and shatter from the edges, disappearing like pieces of cheap glass breaking apart.
Fan Yuan’s Favorability:
60 points.
Gu Yang woke up from Fan Yuan’s kiss, and as soon as he opened his eyes, he met Fan Yuan’s black gaze.
What kind of gaze was that?
Inside, it churned with intense desire, ferocity, possession, longing, and rivalry.
Fan Yuan kissed fiercely, and his black eyes didn’t close even during the kiss. He kept staring at Gu Yang, his gaze even carrying a hint of fierceness.
For Gu Yang, experiencing the last moments of his life again was undoubtedly painful and torturous.
But for Fan Yuan, how could the torment of watching Gu Yang’s departure be any less than Gu Yang’s?
Gu Yang felt the pain on his lips but made no resistance. He simply reached out and held onto Fan Yuan with even greater strength, exerting a tremendous amount of force.
When Fan Yuan finally let go of him, Gu Yang immediately raised the corners of his mouth, revealing the most obedient and dependent smile.
“Fan Yuan, I’m back, right here in your arms.”
“We’re back.”
Fan Yuan’s favorability towards Gu Yang reached 60 points in the first spring when Gu Yang arrived in this world, after experiencing the seventh fairy tale cheat and the fourth matchstick.
For an ordinary person, 60 points would already signify a commitment to never separate and sacrifice for each other for the rest of their lives.
But for Gu Yang, this score was not enough. He not only wanted Fan Yuan’s 60 points, but he also desired Fan Yuan’s 70, 80, 90, until 100 points.
He wanted Fan Yuan to never, ever be able to leave him, and of course, he couldn’t leave Fan Yuan either.
He had long been unable to.
They woke up from the dream world of the fourth matchstick, without carrying any special attributes.
However, their relationship had undergone some changes, primarily through the Companion Mark, the pitch-black flowers blooming on their hearts.
Through this Companion Mark, they could sense each other’s heartbeat and location. Fan Yuan seemed to be more skilled in using the Companion Mark, allowing him to perceive Gu Yang’s whereabouts and even his occasional emotions.
After waking up from the dream, the two of them continued to attend classes as usual.
Zhuo Wan took a leave of absence, and another teacher from a different class temporarily substituted for the Chinese class.
When Gu Yang finished his first class, he handed the matchbox with two remaining matchsticks to Fan Yuan.
He didn’t even explain anything to Fan Yuan, just saying:
“You light the next match. I want to go to the world you subconsciously desire.”
Fan Yuan immediately guessed that the several dream worlds they had experienced were related to this matchstick. Without needing Gu Yang to say anything more, he asked directly:
“Five days later?” Gu Yang was somewhat surprised. In the dream world of the fourth matchstick, he knew that Fan Yuan had long discovered he wasn’t the original Gu Yang. Now, seeing how accurately Fan Yuan guessed the rules of this dream world, he didn’t feel scared. Instead, he felt a sense of relief.
Fan Yuan’s favorability, from beginning to end, was directed at him, at this Gu Yang.
Gu Yang watched as Fan Yuan put away the matchbox then resumed reading his book.
Just as he opened the book, Fan Yuan snatched it away.
Fan Yuan wrote a sentence on Gu Yang’s book and pushed it back.
“From now on, for every wrong question, accumulate 10 minutes.”
Gu Yang was perplexed. “What 10 minutes?”
Fan Yuan motioned with his finger, beckoning Gu Yang. Gu Yang tilted his head and brought his ear closer to Fan Yuan. With the most plain tone, Fan Yuan whispered the most embarrassing words into his ear.
“After the college entrance examination… time.”
The students in Senior Class 1 noticed that on Fan Yuan and Gu Yang’s desk, a handwritten notebook was suddenly placed, serving as a makeshift timer.
At first, they thought it was some sort of countdown to the college entrance examination, but the timer seemed to be accumulating minutes instead.
They watched as the timer, in just a few days, flipped through the pages and changed from 10 minutes to 10 hours.
Gu Yang lowered his head, his bangs falling to cover his eyes, and he held a pen, correcting the mistakes on the test paper that Fan Yuan had just marked.
There were numerous red crosses on the paper, but very few ticks when glanced at as a whole.
Fan Yuan picked up the timer notebook, flipped to a new page, and wrote down 840 minutes, roughly thirteen and a half hours.
Placing the timer notebook squarely in front of Gu Yang, Fan Yuan rested his chin on his hand and stopped studying, just watching Gu Yang intently.
Under the gaze of Fan Yuan’s black eyes, Gu Yang’s hand trembled with nervousness as he continued to write.
Gu Yang didn’t pay attention and ended up correcting all the previously wrong questions without a single pause, appearing completely unlike someone who didn’t know how to solve them.
Fan Yuan wasn’t surprised by this at all. He simply extended his hand, his fingertip slipping into the inner side of the necklace Gu Yang wore, pulling him closer and whispering softly:
“Gu Yang, do you want to die in my bed?”
Gu Yang averted his gaze from Fan Yuan, his black hair falling down, revealing only one side of his bright red ear facing Fan Yuan. He tried to argue:
“What… What are you talking about? I didn’t intentionally make mistakes.”
Fan Yuan released his fingertip from the necklace and instead grasped the back of Gu Yang’s neck, gently squeezing.
“Gu Yang, I hope you won’t regret it.”
Gu Yang lowered his head, looking at his paper filled with large red crosses, his fingertips nervously picking at the desk as he stubbornly replied:
“Who… Who would regret it!”
When the time on the timer notebook reached 900 minutes, Fan Yuan lit the fifth matchstick.
Gu Yang nestled eagerly in Fan Yuan’s embrace, and together they entered the realm of dreams.
This time, they were about to enter the dream world that Fan Yuan desired in his subconscious.
In the silent darkness of the night, guided by the magical fairy tale system, the two of them embarked on a new round of the dream world.
As soon as Gu Yang opened his eyes, he was startled by the chaos before him.
He was dressed in pristine and intricate garments resembling those of ancient Western emperors. A crown adorned with diamonds sat atop his head, and a faint white halo surrounded him.
Around him, numerous people emanating the same faint white glow were fleeing in all directions.
Someone approached Gu Yang, pulling him and urging him to run outside. They spoke anxiously:
“My Lord, you must run as well! This divine realm is no longer safe! That d*mned traitor has completely joined forces with the Dark God and launched an attack!”
Gu Yang stumbled a few steps as he was pulled and asked:
“What traitor?”
The person turned around with a reproachful look at Gu Yang and said:
“My Lord, if it weren’t for you bringing back that traitor, disregarding our advice, showering him with love, and granting him endless power, the collapse of the temple and the fragmentation of the divine realm wouldn’t have happened!”
“Look at this! Your divine power has depleted because the divine tree was cut down. Now, you have a divine body but can’t do anything.”
The person pulled Gu Yang for a couple of steps before Gu Yang shook off their hand.
“You go ahead, I have something else to do.”
The person turned back, glaring at Gu Yang with frustration. The respect and admiration they once had for the Lord had vanished over the years as the divine realm was continuously attacked, descending into chaos.
“My Lord! You still blindly believe in that traitor! Stay here in this collapsing divine realm and wait for your death!”
Saying that, the person had already run far away, while Gu Yang leisurely wandered around this so-called divine realm.
The divine realm was now in ruins, with broken walls everywhere. The magnificent palaces that once stood tall were reduced to ashes. The remnants revealed how majestic and sacred the divine realm used to be.
The sounds of a fierce battle emanated from below the divine realm. Gu Yang stood on the divine platform, observing the carnage below.
The stark contrast between the black and white factions was evident, and it was clear that the white faction had significantly fewer members left.
Suddenly, a warm arm wrapped around Gu Yang’s waist, and his crown was taken off and thrown aside.
Gu Yang immediately grabbed the arm around him and turned around, only to see Fan Yuan dressed in black.
“Fan Yuan!”
At this moment, intricate black patterns adorned one side of Fan Yuan’s face, and his pitch-black eyes looked toward the battlefield below, devoid of any emotion.
Upon hearing Gu Yang calling his name, he lowered his head and looked at Gu Yang, with a faint warmth shimmering in his dark eyes.
“Gu Yang.”
Fan Yuan leaned closer to Gu Yang’s ear and whispered their respective identities.
“This time, you are my deity.”
“But I have betrayed you. I have destroyed your divine realm, crushed your palaces, and I will permanently imprison you.”
This time, Gu Yang was the supreme deity, filled with compassion and universal love.
He had picked up a child from the dirt, raised him, showered him with affection and granted him power.
However, as the child grew up, he gradually realized that the deity’s love wasn’t exclusive to him alone. The deity’s gaze wasn’t focused solely on him.
The deity was merciful and all-embracing, loving the world, the flowers, trees, the melodies of birds. The deity loved every single person in this world.
He was just a small part of the deity’s love.
That’s why he betrayed the deity who trusted him the most.
He personally destroyed everything the deity loved, stripped away the deity’s divine power. He wanted to imprison the deity in a world that belonged only to him, where the deity could only see him, think of him, and love only him.
This was the dream world created by Fan Yuan’s subconscious. Gu Yang turned around, facing away from the bustling battlefield below. Wearing his noble divine robe, he jumped up in a childish manner and leaped into Fan Yuan’s arms, wrapping his arms and legs around him.
Gu Yang wasn’t some pretentious noble deity. He had no interest in the chaotic battlefield below.
He didn’t need grand palaces or an expansive heart filled with universal love. He buried his cheek in the nape of Fan Yuan’s neck and rubbed against it with force.
“I’m not some pretentious divine king, Fan Yuan. You are my deity.”
After saying that, Gu Yang couldn’t help but make a comment about Fan Yuan’s dream world.
“What a chaotic dream world you’ve created. It’s not even as good as mine.”
Fan Yuan didn’t speak, but he held Gu Yang tightly, carrying him off the divine platform and traversing the battlefield of carnage. They walked toward the prison where he had long prepared to confine the deity.
It was the perfect place he would build even if it meant being at odds with the world and bearing the title of a traitor.
He would hide Gu Yang inside, even if it was only for the duration of this dream world.
Behind Fan Yuan, the path he walked was enveloped in dense black miasma.
The miasma was chilling, sinister, and terrifying. It clamored to devour everything around, but in the end, it was wrapped and blocked by the faint light emanating from Gu Yang, gradually becoming obedient and subservient.
Slowly, the miasma forgot its instinct to devour and only knew to chase after the white light, entangling and pursuing it, losing all interest in consuming its surroundings.
Welcome to Fan Yuan’s dream world.
Author’s note:
Gu Yang: I have a bad feeling about this.
Fan Yuan: :)
Both little Fan and little Gu’s subconscious dream worlds aren’t much better than each other, not much to choose between the two. Nose pick.
I’m here, I’m here! It’s the long version of me! Muah muah! Love you all!~
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