Chapter 23
Merry Xmas!!! Extra releases for this happy day :)
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The man’s hand was clenched on his cuff, his voice very low and his tone soft.
Yun Qingci had never been pressed about this kind of thing. He still remembered that on the night of their wedding, Li Ying sat on the wedding bed with him for a long time. Finally, he had to pull Li Ying over and kick the canopy curtain close.
During his teenage years, Li Ying was always strict with himself. His clothes were strict, and he never easily shared his thoughts. Yun Qingci always felt there was something shy and restrained in the way Li Ying treated him as his sweetheart. But now that he thought about it, Li Ying probably didn’t want to touch him.
He found it quite funny.
“Your Majesty, is this a threat?”
It looked like a threat, but Li Ying actually was giving himself to him. Yun Qingci really couldn’t understand it.
“No.” Li Ying let go of his cuff and frowned, “I didn’t mean it was wrong for you to learn how to play qin… it’s just that the tune is too reckless.”
“Well, in the future, this subject will take his teacher to play outside the palace.”
Li Ying glanced at him, then retracted his gaze, and fell silent.
Yun Qingci continued: “If Your Majesty wants something, why bother to negotiate terms with me, to threaten Ruan Lian or to ask me to serve you in bed? Isn’t it enough for you to say a word? Even if this subject is unwilling, there is no choice, right?”
“I’m not forcing you…” Li Ying pursed his lips, struggling to explain: “Just now, I was too impulsive, I didn’t mean to make you unhappy.”
His voice grew even lower: “I don’t want to make you unhappy.”
Yun Qingci couldn’t understand what the man was planning. Since he was reborn, many of Li Ying’s actions were unexpected and made him feel confused.
He walked up and placed his thin white fingers on Li Ying’s shoulders. The black robe was embroidered with gold patterns, making him feel as if his fingertips were tainted with magnificence. Li Ying’s eyelashes fluttered as he looked at Yun Qingci intently.
“Your Majesty… I know that Your Majesty loves me deeply.” Yun Qingci’s voice was tender, and his tone was very serious: “You don’t need to explain to me. You and I have been married for many years. Even if you don’t say it, I will understand, because I feel the same way. I will always love Your Majesty. You are the only one I have ever loved in my life.”
Li Ying’s eyelashes trembled violently; a deep black tide filled his eyes and his voice became hoarse for a moment: “Qingci…”
The corners of Yun Qingci’s mouth curved, and his eyes overflowed with interest.
“Do you want me to say that?”
The surging black tide froze instantly.
Yun Qingci sneered. He removed his fingers from Li Ying’s shoulders and backed away. “Is what I said not clear enough? I said, our marriage is an alliance of power. For the sake of your Li family’s country, and for my whole Yun family, you and I are like chess pieces placed in their positions. We are just chess pieces. Between chess pieces, there can be no feelings.”
He let go of Li Ying, lowered his arms and said with some disgust: “Stop playing affectionate tricks with me, Li Ying, I’m tired of it. If you can show some sincerity, I still might be able to look at you with respect.”
Li Ying remained motionless.
Yun Qingci turned around and came to the couch to sit down.
“Apart from this aspect of our marriage, you and I should have our own lives. You can make a show of happiness and prosperity to your heart’s content, so why can’t I find a qin player to play tunes to relieve my boredom?”
“You are the emperor, you are of noble blood and we are not born equal, I know. I respect you, but I hope you can also respect me a little,” Yun Qingci said, “I’m tired and want to rest, can’t you even give me this little space?”
He raised his eyes to look at Li Ying. “For the sake of the four years that I have loved you desperately… please be kind.”
Four years. Yun Qingci loved him for more than four years.
After Liu Ziru placed Ruan Lian in the Imperial Hospital, he hurried back.
It was snowing the whole night, turning the Forbidden City white.
The sedan chair followed in the distance, while the man who was supposed to be inside was walking slowly along the palace wall.
Liu Ziru looked at the sky. He opened the paper umbrella and followed but as soon as he got closer, the umbrella was pushed away.
He cried out: “Your Majesty, the snow is getting heavier.”
Li Ying didn’t say a word.
“Why don’t you wear a cloak,” Liu Ziru said, “You will get sick like this.”
Li Ying continued to walk forward, and Liu Ziru could only keep up, watching a layer of snow gradually cover the emperor’s shoulders and hair. He felt worried. Tomorrow, there will be the last court session of the year before the break. With the New Year approaching, the emperor was very busy. If he got sick, he could only postpone some matters. Dragging the affairs of this year into the next year, it would be inauspicious.
Liu Ziru stopped, waved to a little eunuch, gave a few instructions, and then followed again.
Li Ying finally halted.
Liu Ziru looked up to see that it was the former Cold Palace in the northeast corner of the Forbidden City. It was dilapidated and uninhabited for a long time. The door paint was mottled and cracked, and there was a desolate feeling about it at night.
Li Ying slowly raised his face.
In his eyes, the dilapidated Cold Palace was replaced by a beautiful tower with gold-painted eaves and carved pillars, an embodiment of grandeur and wealth.
Every night, palace attendants would step on wooden ladders, hold bamboo hooks and hang lanterns on the eaves and corners of the tower. For holidays and grand events, they would hang rows of lanterns, turning the tower into a display of light and beauty. This was the tallest and the most magnificent building in the entire Forbidden City, and the grace it symbolized was also one of the most popular topics in Shangyang City.
Many people would like to climb the Gilded Qifeng Tower to show off their power.
But this tower belonged to Yun Qingci alone. It belonged to him in life, and it belonged to him in death.
It used to be Yun Qingci’s favorite place, and he often dragged Li Ying up there to drink and play music, or to do something else.
In the later years, there were many memories that belonged to the two of them there. Until Yun Qingci jumped down from the top of it.
Since then, all the memories filled with infinite beauty would be splashed with Yun Qingci’s blood.
Yun Qingci must have hated him so much that he would take everything away like that.
He often saw Yun Qingci smiling at him. One moment, he was saying, “Come here, have a good look at the lights of Yangcheng! It’s so lively today!”
And in the next moment, he suddenly fell from above, and the whole tower was painted with blood.
Li Ying pressed his head.
His skull seemed to be stuffed with countless praying mantises, each of them scraping his brain with a knife, stabbing again and again, causing a dense, sharp pain.
“Agh–” In extreme pain, he let out a hoarse groan. Liu Ziru hurriedly stepped forward: “Your Majesty, Your Majesty.”
He took out a soothing pouch provided by the Imperial Hospital, leaned over and put it under Li Ying’s nose, trying to bring him relief.
Li Ying opened his eyes restlessly, with a thick mist of blood swirling in his pupils.
Recently, Liu Ziru had often felt that the emperor’s mental state was not very good, and it also seriously affected his body. Whenever he was in extreme pain, there was a clear sense of brutality and hostility emanating from him.
The emperor had never been on the battlefield, but his murderous intent was stronger than that of many generals.
Liu Ziru shuddered and held his breath, not daring to move.
“Your Majesty.”
There was a voice from behind him.
Yun Qingci sat in the sedan chair, watching the man’s back blankly.
He had already undressed and was about to go to bed when Liu Ziru sent someone for him, saying that Li Ying was walking in the snow dressed only in his robe. He troubled the Lord Empress, fearing that the Emperor would contract the cold and miss the court session tomorrow.
Yun Qingci didn’t want to care about it.
However, if Li Ying got sick, the entire court would be in chaos, and Prime Minister Yun, who was an auxiliary advisor, would be even more unlucky. He had to help Li Ying deal with a lot of things nowadays.
But who would be happy to be pulled out of the bed when they were ready to sleep? Although Yun Qingci ordered a sedan chair, his face was quite unsightly.
Li Ying must have done it on purpose.
He just can’t see him doing well.
Li Ying stood with his back turned to him and kept looking at Liu Ziru.
Liu Ziru saw the blood mist fade from Li Ying’s eyes. His gaze gradually regained his clarity. He quickly reminded in a low voice: “Lord Empress is here.”
Li Ying often had headaches lately, and sometimes he was in so much pain that his consciousness blurred and he seemed to be ready to kill. But as long as Yun Qingci was mentioned, it gradually eased. At the moment, Yun Qingci himself was here, and Liu Ziru could finally exhale and say coaxingly: “He’s just arrived, he didn’t know you had a headache.”
The two of them communicated in whispers, and Yun Qingci couldn’t hear them. He didn’t bother to get out of the sedan chair. He slapped the armrest twice and ordered: “Put a cloak on him!”
Jin Huan hurriedly stepped forward, Liu Ziru patted the snow off Li Ying’s body and then wrapped the cloak around him.
He glanced at Yun Qingci and saw him wearing a mink-fur cloak, his hair loose. He knew he disturbed the Lord Empress.
He sighed and said, “Thank you, Lord Empress.”
“Why don’t you help him get on the sedan chair and hurry back to Jiangshan Palace to rest? What time is it?”
Li Ying didn’t move.
Liu Ziru paused, made a few steps towards Yun Qingci and said courteously: “This place is a bit far from Jiangshan Palace. Why doesn’t Lord Empress let His Majesty rest in Chaoyang Palace?”
Yun Qingci looked at him coldly.
They were inside the Forbidden City, what is far or near?
Li Ying finally moved. He walked to the sedan chair by himself and sat quietly in it.
Liu Ziru leaned towards Yun Qingci again. He was the supervisor of the Son of Heaven and watched him grow up since he was a child. Yun Qingci had some friendship with him and didn’t stop him.
Liu Ziru sneakily said to him: “His Majesty seems unhappy. If you tell him to go back by himself, he might go out and walk around again in the middle of the night.”
Yun Qingci said coolly: “What do you want?”
“What else… let His Majesty stay with Lord Empress.”
Very strange.
In the past, Li Ying was easy to talk to, and Yun Qingci was not easy to talk to. Now that the two of them changed their temperaments, only Liu Ziru remained unchanged.
Yun Qingci glanced at Li Ying, who was sitting in the sedan chair with his head down.
In the past, Li Ying ignored him, and it was Liu Ziru who was troubled. It was probably not easy for someone who was a lot older.
Yun Qing relented and said, “Then let’s go back to Chaoyang Palace together.”
The main thing was to not delay the morning court tomorrow.
Although Yun Qingci felt that Li Ying was not the kind of person who would ruin his body for such a trivial matter, his recent behavior was really different from expected. Just in case, it was better to take him back than to worry.
Li Ying didn’t say he’d go, nor did he say he wouldn’t go. He followed Yun Qingci without expressing any objections.
They returned to Chaoyang Palace.
Yun Qingci entered the hall, threw his cloak to Jin Huan, turned to see Liu Ziru helping Li Ying in, and said, “Check if his hands are cold.”
Liu Ziru touched Li Ying’s hands, then touched Li Ying’s face, and said, “It’s cold.”
“Go get some hot water, let him take a bath first, and then go to the hospital and order someone to prescribe a dose of preventive medicine against the cold.”
Yun Qingci turned around and entered the room. Liu Ziru gently pushed Li Ying, and the latter followed slowly.
The wooden bathtub was quickly filled with water; Yun Qingci tested the water temperature with his fingers and said, “Go in.”
A maidservant stepped forward and pulled Li Ying’s hair up. When she undressed him, she was waved to leave.
There were only two people left in the room.
Li Ying sat in the tub.
Yun Qingci reclined on the bed and yawned, asking unfriendly: “What are you being crazy about?”
Li Ying didn’t speak.
Yun Qingci walked over and scooped some hot water, saying, “Move aside.”
He added the water, then scooped the water from the tub and poured it directly on Li Ying’s shoulders. After repeating it a few times, he casually said, “Say a few words to me, are you unhappy?” ”
“No.”
“Then what were you doing in the Cold Palace of the previous dynasty? Don’t you know there are ghosts over there?”
“……”
“You are unhappy with me so you want to torment me, right?” Yun Qingci said, “Great to be the emperor, isn’t it?” ”
“I’m sorry.”
Yun Qingci stopped.
“I’m sorry, Ah Ci. ” Li Ying lowered his head and said in a dumb voice, “I won’t in the future.”
“Don’t do it anymore.” Yun Qingci threw the scoop at him and said, “Starting now.”
“Wash by yourself, I want to sleep.”
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This chapter is so frustrating. I get that the main character has grievances over his past life but for the sake of rebirth he should stop projecting his memories of the past emperor to the current one (although the ML was also reborn).
That’s true, I am reading the story from the first 10 chapters. But as the story goes on I feel like I am reading a book that is self-contradictory from the very beginning itself.
Qingci’s reaction to Li Ying is justified. While what happened in the past hasnt happened yet, the core person is still the same and is capable of doing it. He doesnt know that Li Ying has been reborn too and is carrying with him the lessons of their past lives. Tbh i feel like theyre on common ground since theyre both reborn. Whatever Li Ying did to Qingci in the past life, happened to Qingci in this life. The first 4 years anyway. So i dont really mind if ML grovels for longer. He deserves it.
I get both of them but they’re both stupid they see and talk about how the other person changed but can’t for the life of them think they other person was reborn???? Their reactions and actions are so extremely different you’d think one of them will realize but no, anyway this story is just contradictions on contradictions.
I think some of you are not understanding what these scenes actually are… of course neither of them can see each other properly as reborn, this isn’t actually a second chance for them yet.
If you’re just assuming that its obvious the two of them have been reborn you might have missed all the ways the story actively tells you they are actually still in their old patterns. Multiple times its been mentioned that YQ has fits of temper that have only been getting more extreme – YQ might be implementing a cold shoulder tactic now, but an erratic temperment is expected of him. It’s not even out of the blue for YQ to wall up, he did so as a kid and breaking through that wall was LY/YQ’s love origin. Sure LY’s doting and attention might seem like an excessive behavior change, except that all the servants have been covering for LY’s dark episodes and as far as YQ is concerned periods of pandering are actually an established part of their relationship. YQ explicitly called out in the past that while LY has done things that deeply upset him before, instead of actually addressing the grievances LY just tries to plaster it over with affection and attention until YQ gives in.
What deep change is YQ supposed to recognize in LY right now that would tell him that LY is reborn? How can LY see that YQ is reborn when he is still operating under his own delusions about their relationship and YQ himself? After all, up to this point LY has been operating under the assumption that YQ’s love is inherent and fundamental, even if YQ is unhappy. These issues aren’t a “contradiction”, they’re fundamental to the characterization of both and the source od tension for the story as a whole.
Forget happiness or reconcilliation, YQ has been doing nothing but resigning himself to an echo of the life he lived before. The only difference is he’s allowing himself diversions in idle amusement and spiteful actions that he doesn’t actually think do any harm beyond an aggrievance to LY. Beyond that the most he does is try and take shots where he can at enemies, knowing that even if he doesn’t as long as he stays static nothing bad will happen. LY is soothing his own guilt and trauma over YQ’s death by overcompensating and following old patterns to try and coax YQ into a better mood without actually looking at the issues between them.
This is literally the turning point in the story, the breaking point where their old relationship dies and the two have to actually change and grow to make a new one. They might have both come back in a second life, but its only now that actually means somwthing for the two of them.
All that to say, its a really well written story with deep characterization of two flawed individuals and their complex relationship – and translating it and keeping that clear in another language is definitely a feat the translator should be proud of. There’s a lot of subtle things and personality in this writing and getting that across languages is a lot of work. Quality authors, quality translators, quality reading.
Agree