“Sixteen years ago, just two years after the late emperor ascended the throne, he began to consider reducing the power of the feudal lords. As the elder brother, Xin Wang was the first target. I was a governess in Xin Wang’s residence at the time, and I witnessed with my own eyes how the late emperor forced His Highness Xin Wang to take his own life…”
The old woman wiped her tears and pulled Su Xiaojing into a nearby deserted corner, speaking through sobs: “Xin Wangfei knew that disaster was unavoidable. Afraid that the heir and the other princes would not be spared, she secretly sent away a concubine named Liu Mei, who was pregnant, before the imperial guards arrived. That concubine was your mother.”
“Wangfei said that if the entire household were to be destroyed, no matter what, the last descendant of Xin Wang’s line must be preserved. So she gave your mother the longevity lock once used by the heir. To prove your identity in the future, she also cut a piece from Xin Wang’s formal robe and made it into a baby swaddling cloth, personally writing the details inside and stamping it with a seal. Then she ordered several guards to escort your mother out of the fief, intending for her to hide her identity and give birth to you first.”
“But unexpectedly, among those guards someone harbored ulterior motives. He wanted to seize your mother and present her to the late emperor in exchange for reward. The guards fell into internal conflict, and your mother ended up drifting among the common people, her whereabouts unknown.”
“Xin Wang and the princes were killed, and the women of the household were exiled to Lingnan. I and some other old servants of the residence who were fortunate enough to escape had no choice but to scatter and fend for ourselves. But I always remembered Wangfei’s instructions, to find you and your mother no matter what, and never let Xin Wang’s lineage be cut off. So I returned to my old trade, working as a Momo in many noble households, using that to gather information.”
“Heaven has eyes! After searching bitterly for more than ten years, I finally discovered, two years ago, the gold longevity lock with five-colored gemstones that belonged to Wangfei in a jewelry shop in the capital. I asked about its origin, the shopkeeper said he had acquired it from a pawnshop. I went to the pawnshop to ask who had pawned it, but the owner said it had changed hands several times and he couldn’t remember.”
“I thought it over and decided to first gather enough money to buy the lock back, and then slowly trace its origin. But I was one step too late, the jewelry shop had already sold it and refused to reveal the buyer’s identity.”
“With no other choice, I investigated step by step with great difficulty. Half a month ago, I finally found out that the buyer was a down-and-out man in the capital who had been provoked into buying it to save face. I went to him, but he said he had lost the lock in a game of leaf cards to a servant from an official’s household.”
“After another seven or eight days of searching, I finally found you. The moment I saw you, I knew, you are that posthumous child! You look too much like Liu Mei, and your eyebrows and eyes are the spitting image of Xin Wang.”
“—Is your mother Liu Mei still alive? Does she still have that swaddling cloth?”
Su Xiaojing stood frozen, like a wooden chicken.
The old woman’s words buzzed in his head. He understood every word, yet together they felt like a fantasy.
He had thought that he and his mother were survivors from some disgraced official’s family. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined being connected to imperial blood, that was Xin Wang! The eldest son of the founding emperor, elder brother of the late emperor, once one of the most powerful frontier princes!
—But also someone accused of treason, forced to commit suicide, his household confiscated and exterminated, his descendants forever denied redemption!
Was he really Xin Wang’s son? Did the blood of the imperial family truly flow in him?
Su Xiaojing trembled violently all over, even his lips shaking. He smashed the two jars of doubanjiang onto the ground and shouted, “—Liar! I don’t believe your nonsense!” Then he turned and ran for his life.
The old woman called after him and tried to chase him, but her aged body couldn’t keep up. She could only watch helplessly as he disappeared at the end of the street.
Su Xiaojing ran until it felt like his heart would leap out of his throat before finally stopping, clutching a tree trunk and retching.
His mind was in chaos, images flashing wildly, one moment the ugly faces of traffickers insulting him and his mother; the next, his mother’s gaunt face before death, her hand tightly gripping the longevity lock; then himself, standing like merchandise waiting to be chosen, when a figure in a dark blue robe stopped before him, his gaze moved upward from the hem, and he saw a very young and gentle face, thinking: there are such handsome young officials in this world? Is this a male immortal descended to earth?
It took him several days after being bought back to come to his senses, this wasn’t a male immortal, but a kind and easygoing young official, the master he would serve for the rest of his life.
Three years now! Following Lord Su, he had suffered hardships and endured trials, but also enjoyed good fortune. Lord Su had never treated him as a servant, but taught him to read and write, treating him the same as Su Xiaobei and training him as a steward of the Su household…
But was it really “treating them equally”? Amid his chaotic thoughts, Su Xiaojing suddenly shivered and asked himself, if, in Lord Su’s eyes, he and Xiaobei were the same, then why was it that whenever there were important or private matters, the lord would always call Xiaobei to handle them, while he could only run errands, guard the gate, and even be left alone in the courtyard to roast lamb chops?
It was true that he wasn’t as steady as Xiaobei, but his loyalty and concern for the lord were no less. Why was it that Lord Su always seemed uneasy about him, though he never said it outright, Su Xiaojing could feel that the importance the lord placed on him was far less than what he placed on Su Xiaobei.
Why was that?
With his mind in a tangled mess, Su Xiaojing walked home. After entering the Su residence, he sat blankly in the gatehouse for a long time. It wasn’t until sunset, when the cook sent word that dinner was ready, that he finally got up listlessly, preparing to go to the main hall to invite the lord to dine.
But at that moment, Su Yan was already neatly dressed and preparing to go out.
Su Xiaojing forced himself to set aside his chaotic thoughts and asked, “My lord hasn’t eaten yet and is going out already? What’s so urgent?”
While holding an umbrella for Su Yan, Su Xiaobei reproached lightly, “You’re getting more and more improper. His Lordship is a Gelao, does he have to report to you where he’s going and what he’s doing?”
Su Xiaojing didn’t like Xiaobei’s lecturing tone, but for once didn’t argue back. Instead, he said to Su Yan, “I’m just concerned, I want to help share your burdens, my lord.”
Su Yan smiled and flicked his forehead. “Don’t worry. And it’s not something you can help with anyway. Just stay home and take care of things.”
Though the tone was affectionate, Su Xiaojing felt uncomfortable inside, as if he were being treated like a pet cat or dog. He hadn’t felt this way before, but now it was different… different in what way? He couldn’t figure it out.
“Then when will you be back, my lord? I can have the kitchen keep the food warm,” he persisted, following after him.
Su Yan walked quickly, at a pace Su Xiaojing felt he could never catch up to in his lifetime. Behind him, Su Xiaobei held the umbrella, shooting Su Xiaojing repeated warning looks to shut up.
“You two eat first, don’t wait for me. I might end up staying overnight at Wenyuan Pavilion again tonight. The young master, he…” Su Yan suddenly paused and didn’t finish the sentence. Turning to Su Xiaobei, he said, “Xiaobei, drive the carriage and take me into the palace. When Ah Zhui comes back later, tell him there’s no morning court tomorrow, have him wait at the Meridian Gate at chen hour to pick me up.”
Su Xiaobei obediently acknowledged and asked Su Yan to wait at the gate while he went to bring the carriage.
Su Xiaojing stood in the courtyard without an umbrella, staring blankly at Su Yan’s back, as the slightly chilly spring rain of March soaked him through, inside and out.
—He was just a servant, only fit to serve tea, pour water, and guard the house… a servant for life!
***
Su Yan rode in a carriage into the palace.
He had only just returned from Wenyuan Pavilion at shen hour today, and now it was barely evening when Zhu Helin had sent guards to summon him again. There must be something important to discuss, so he hurried back into the palace without stopping.
Zhu Helin now lived in Qianqing Palace. One reason was that Kunning Palace had been rebuilt, just behind Qianqing Palace. He could go there from time to time to reminisce about his late mother, even touch the newly hung lanterns inside as a small comfort. Another reason was that he did not wish to occupy Yangxin Hall.
Yangxin Hall had been the former residence of Emperor Jinglong. Everything inside remained exactly as it had been before the late emperor’s death. Zhu Helin ordered it maintained as usual, every flower, every plant, every stick of incense, every brush of ink, even the fruit trays and tea on the table had to be prepared daily just as when his Royal Father was alive. Even the seasonal clothing had to be made according to his Royal Father’s measurements, not a single set missing, and hung in the wardrobe.
—As if the late emperor might return from the Pure Land at any moment and sit again upon the dragon throne in Yangxin Hall.
Privately, the palace attendants all said: our new emperor is indeed filial, but isn’t he a bit too… “infatuated”?
This “feeling” was not romantic love, but the bond between Father and son. Yet whether familial, friendly, or romantic, when attachment becomes too obsessive and impossible to let go, it begins to seem unhealthy in the eyes of many, becoming what they call “obsession,” and then raising the fear, could it turn from obsession into madness?
Only Su Yan knew that Zhu Helin was truly waiting for his Royal Father to awaken, waiting and hoping together with him, day and night.
In front of the eastern warm chamber of Qianqing Palace, Su Yan encountered Fubao, who was standing guard outside.
Fubao, along with Cheng Sheng, had been attendants to the new emperor since his time as crown prince, and now held some of the highest status among the palace eunuchs. Even Lan Xi, who still guarded the imperial seal at the Directorate of Ceremonial, seemed somewhat in decline compared to them.
Fubao was already sixteen or seventeen this year, much more steady than when he had first met Su Yan, but the smile he wore when facing him was still the same as before.
After bowing, he said, “Lord Su, you’ve finally come. The young master… the emperor has been waiting for quite a while. I’ve been standing here listening, he’s been pacing back and forth inside, asking for tea one moment, dried fruit the next, trying different ways to pass the time. It’s just like before, when he used to wait for you in the Eastern Palace.”
Su Yan returned the courtesy. “That can’t be. Back then His Majesty was childish, now he’s much more mature and steady.”
Fubao said, “That’s true. His Majesty is more and more imposing now. I’m almost forgetting what he was like as a child… Lord Su, perhaps you should forget as well?”
Su Yan caught the hint of persuasion and smiled. “Alright, alright. The past is the past, the future is the future.”
Satisfied, Fubao invited him inside.
Hearing faint footsteps, Zhu Helin immediately sat back on the luohan couch, adopting a composed posture, sipping tea and leisurely turning a page in the book in his hand.
The moment he saw this, Su Yan felt a brief daze, as if the one sitting there in imperial robes and crown was the emperor in his younger years. He blinked and quickly came back to his senses, it was only an illusion brought by the imperial attire.
Zhu Helin was Zhu Helin; Zhu Jintang was Zhu Jintang. He had never confused the two.
“The young master summoned me?” Su Yan asked naturally.
“Yes, there’s something I want to ask you. Sit,” Zhu Helin said, tapping the kang table with the rolled-up book in his hand, gesturing for him to sit on the other side of the couch.
Su Yan had long been used to joking around casually with him, and over the past two months had also adapted to his new status. He took off his boots and sat cross-legged on the couch. “What is it? Ask away.”
Zhu Helin first tilted his head slightly and examined him carefully. His expression was neither pleased nor angry, yet the look made Su Yan feel a bit uneasy. Then, resting the arm holding the book on the kang table, he leaned forward slightly and lowered his voice as he asked, “I heard that two years ago, that Aletan was once poisoned and on the verge of death. Was it you who stripped off his robe, got on top of him, and felt him all over until you brought him back to life?”
